The “No Mush Cookie” Webinar

So here’s the deal:

Tonight at 7:00 easter/4:00 pacific time, I’m gonna be on a webinar with Tim Erway — CEO of one of the biggest direct response marketing companies on the Internet (certainly the biggest in the home bid’niz industry) and my boy Ferny Ceballos. (A former rocket-scientist-turned-super-successful-Internet-entrepreneur.)

What will be yapping about?

Internet marketing, of course.


Teaching people who market online who’re confused about why it’s taking so long, not getting the results they want, and don’t know where to turn. I’m talking about people who wanna go full time and quit their jobs (ugh – who can blame ‘em?), and are sick of NOT being where they want to be.

(Financially and otherwise).

Is that you?

Then we can help straighten you out in a quick.


We’ll also be talking about their “No Excuses” seminar I’m gonna be speaking at in Vegas at the end of June.

That means there will be a (GASP!!!) pitch.

But, don’t worry.

We’re giving kick bootay info way in the webinar either way.

Info you can USE, whether you go or not.

(I only mention that because, let’s face it, mush cookies marketers who are afraid of being pitched need that kind of reassurance.)

Anyway, here’s where to register:

(Yes, that’s my raw and “wriggling” affiliate link)

See ya tonight.

Ben Settle

Loco Email Secrets From A Goo-roo Who’s Afraid To Sell

Let me tell you a story.

The names have been removed to protect the guilty, as this is a cautionary tale, not gossip.

Anyway, check this out:

Once upon a time, I learned of a product I really wanted to buy.

It was (presumably) high ticket.

And, I was ready to go — credit card in my hot little hand.

So I go to the website selling this product.

Opt in.

And anxiously await a link to buy from.

The first email comes 24 hours later.

I eagerly open it.

And, I’m ready to buy.


There’s no link to buy.

No mention of the product.

Instead, just a link to a video.

Same thing the next day.

And the next…

And now, I’m on like video #5 and still no way to buy or mention of the product. Just a “stay tuned for tomorrow’s video…”

This is loco.

This is not selling.

And frankly, is likely costing him sales.

How do I know?

Because I’ve already started forgetting about the product I wanted to buy and am deleting his dorky little video emails on sight. Probably, I won’t end up buying at all as the initial excitement has now long passed.

True, I could be the odd man out here.

And, there probably are times to do this sort of thing.

But, think about this:

I’ve been at this email game a while.

And I’ve noticed birds of a feather really DO flock together.

In other words…

If there’s one person not buying due to this guy’s fear of putting a link to his product in the emails for those of us ready to buy (even if passively — something is better than nothing) there are likely many more.

I know, I know.

It’s the goo-roo way to play these inane games.

To tap dance around selling.

Hey, do what ye will.

But it’s like I’ve said many times befo’:

If you have a product people want and can improve their lives… you have a moral and ethical obligation to at least let them know it exists.

Ideally every day.

And, in a way people LIKE buying from.

That’s where “Email Players” comes in.

I teach how to sell in a way people enjoy buying from.

No, it won’t make you rich overnight.

But if you got the right attitude, it makes selling much easier.

Subscription info at:

Ben Settle

This Is How You Write A JV Pitch, Babycakes

Most JV pitches are lame.


Even dumb.

(Especially the canned ones)

But, a couple weeks ago I got this bad-boy in the email, and, how could I possibly say no to this?

I’ve been making a six figure living off email in the last 4 years and your stuff is extremely refreshing. Unmatched by 99% of the garbage out there.

I was wondering if I can perhaps steal about 40-60 of your time and have you come do a webinar for my high level list building coaching clients about email marketing.

This will further promote you and Email Players monthly (which is something they can easily afford btw, since they paid $5k-$15k to be in my mastermind) and also, this is likely to turn into a product that I can launch on your behalf, where we split profits and I do all the work :)

Let’s break this biznatch down:

1. Doesn’t ask me to do anything but show up (no “will you mail your list so I can get your subscribers on my list???” typical JV agenda)

2. I will profit from it without lifting a finger

3. Respects my time (i.e. gets to the point, and his list is highly qualified)

There’s more.

But those are some snacks to chew on if you want JV’s.

Moving on to bid’niz:

The next “Email Players” issue is gonna make some of the mush cookies cringe (not that there are any — that I know, at least — mush cookies as subscribers).


Because it reveals my (admittedly controversial) theory on why you have to treat your market (i.e. “pimp” your market) like a guy has to pimp a hot girl he wants to go out with.

That is, if you want your market to love you.

And pay you.

And, yes, tell all their friends good things about you.

I also show you how to do it.

Why it works so well.

And, the exact way to go about it.

A merry time will be had by all.

Get your email lovin’ here in time for the next issue:

Ben Settle

A Secret Way To Use Recycling To Make More Sales With Emails

A long time “Email Players” subscriber writes…

(Comment slightly edited, and name withheld by request)

Hey, remember last march when I used your sale sequence you put in one of the EP issues to sell a $497 product for $200, and I sold around 60 of them and brought in $12k?

Yeah, I did the same sale this month. Recycled the emails from a year ago, and I even sent fewer emails.

Result? 105 sales. $21,000 in revenue.

I literally spent maybe an hour, 2 tops pulling the old emails, touching up a few details, and scheduling them.


2 big lessons learned for me:

1. If something worked, don’t change it too much. Just do it again.

2. Having a high-ticket items allows you to run big discounts and still make a lot per transaction.

Thought you’d like that. :)

Ah yes.

One of the BIG benefits of learning my system is, you can take a proven sale or launch sequence (which I have taught in the newsletter — back issues for sale to current “Email Players” subscribers only) and “recycle” them year after year — zero changes necessary.

In fact, I do this every year around Labor Day.

I sell the same product.

During the same weekend.

Year in, and year out.

Just load, set them to go out when I want, and sit back.


Our sales go up each time.

It’s the most predictable sales machine I ever done used.

Just another “Email Players” newsletter benefit.

Hey, I know email isn’t as powerful as yapping on Flakebook and Twitter all day, or spending days and weeks slaving away on complicated funnels and assembling teams to create videos and heroically launching new products each and every month, burning out your eyes, back and time freedom.

But, you know what?

It works pretty good for me.

And, for my “Email Players” subscribers, too.

(Often in just 10-30 minutes or so per day…)

See what the fuss is about here:

Ben Settle

The World’s WORST Sales Pitch For Doing Podcasting

Two things:

1. The “Ben Settle Show” has a new intro

It’s more obnoxious.

More controversial.

And, hopefully, more entertaining than the last intro I wrote — which was more attractive to people with the mentality of professional wrestling fans who love hokey music than street smart entrepreneurs.

2. Today’s show is up…

It’s all about podcasting.


  • SEO hacks for ranking way higher than your competitors.
  • A secret way to get iTunes to send you a crap load of traffic.
  • Why 90% of online marketers should NOT be podcasting (despite what the hype & swipe goo-roos claim) and how to know if you should or not. (We spend more time talking you OUT of doing podcasting than trying to persuade you TO do it.)
  • How to make out like a bandit selling ads on your podcast.
  • Why podcast listeners make the best customers.
  • How to bond with your audience while they are in the bathroom.
  • What the #1 podcaster on the planet does to drive over $100k into his coffers each month. (Hint: It ain’t complicated or hard, and it works like gangbusters.)
  • 3 things you must have before you start podcasting. (This is the exact opposite of what all the podcast ex-spurts say — and here’s undeniable proof why they’re wrong.)
  • How to “ethically rig” your podcast to double both your downloads and sales.
  • The step-by-step on how to get your podcast on iTunes.
  • What exact software and equipment to use (my first couple shows sounds like crap because I didn’t know this.)
  • Why so many copywriters make terrible podcasters.
  • Why great email writers are excellent podcasters by “default.”
  • What podcasters on a shoestring budget should know.
  • A little-known way to use your computer’s keyboard to give yourself an instant advantage in podcasting.
  • How to not sound like an idiot on your podcasts. (After making this mistake, I still cringe at the thought of anyone listening to 2 specific podcast episodes I’ve done.)
  • How to make your voice sound deeper on the air.
  • Rush Limbaugh’s secret to exploding podcast revenues.
  • Should your show be mass market or niched? (You might be surprised by the answer, I was…)
  • How to get in the top 10 of new shows at iTunes — including how I quickly went from 42nd place to 4th place in iTunes’ “new and noteworthy” category. (And yes, you can do the same just following the simple steps Jonathan lays out for you.)
  • And lotza mo’… (including detailed show notes you can read.)

This show is extremely valuable.

It cost us thousands of dollars to figure this out.

Yet, you get it free (for now) here:

Ben Settle

59 Ways How I’ll Make You As Happy As A Politician In A Brothel

Heads up:

Tomorrow’s “Ben Settle Show” podcast is gonna show you how to do your own podcast — including if you even *should* do one (Hint: Most people shouldn’t) and the details on how it all works, straight from the beady, rat-like mind of my producer Jonathan Rivera.

So watch for my signal tomorrow when it’s up.

In the meantime…

Here are 59 happy tips we’ve shared on the show thus far:

  • How to repulse people into buying from you.
  • Why being an ugly chick is like playing the dating game on hard mode (and some secret ways they can use to steal the highest value men from hotter women).
  • The biggest difference between copywriting and creative writing.
  • How chicks “trick” guys into pining for them (and how guys can “flip the script” and use their sneaky wiles against them — works for getting clients, too).
  • Why mush cookie marketers piss off their lists.
  • Why you shouldn’t put customers on a pedestal.
  • The “gray hulk” secret to attracting a loyal and passionate customer base (works for emails, podcasts, videos and any other media you sell with).
  • Why I’m such a jerk about doing joint ventures.
  • How to generate thousands of dollars for a charity or cause using email (while growing your list and sales at the same time).
  • Why you have a better chance of being healed by a medicine man shaman rattling a staff at the moon in the middle of the desert than the American medical system.
  • The “counterintuitive” thing to say to clients to get higher fees.
  • The “Heisenberg” secret to commanding respect from clients.
  • Why only a fool would not have a firearm near their bed (hint: Dan Gallapoo and his wife recently woke up to an intruder standing over their bed… if he hadn’t had a shot gun nearby…)
  • How to protect yourself from losing your merchant account.
  • A world-class sales trainer’s secret for winning negotiations.
  • How many people have tried to kill Dan Gallapoo (as he says, “it’s not paranoia, it’s preparation”).
  • A “magic email message” that gets 9 out of 10 women to respond from online dating sites.
  • The single best way ever invented to put a rude woman in her place on a date. (Works even better for putting rude clients and customers in their place, too…)
  • How to get chicks to do what you say without having to whack them over the head with a club like a caveman.
  • The only 2 things a woman has to do to keep a man. (Ladies, y’awl can throw out all the idiotic relationship advice on Oprah or Cosmo Magazine — just do these two things and he ain’t goin’ nowhere.)
  • The world’s “most feared negotiator’s” secret for attracting (and keeping) women.
  • The “for real” mark of a strong, independent woman. (Nothing to do with having a fat masters degree or a 50+ hour per week job working for another man… just see if she does this, and if she does, she’s a keeper.)
  • Why super hot chicks are often not worth the effort. (Sorry hotties, but y’awl got nobody to blame but yourselves — and happily married producer Jonathan reveals why.)
  • What a “shit test” is… why chicks are always doing this to guys… and how to turn those tests into red hot attraction for you.(Assuming you want to put up with their nonsense and not just find a better and hotter woman with class who won’t try to test you all the time.)
  • A “jedi mind trick” for repelling dangerous psycho chicks and diffusing the shit testing women.
  • The exact personality type that is ripe for being fleeced by sociopaths and other “unsavory” characters & scams. (Hint: A LOT of people have this personality — chances are you do, too…)
  • 15 ways to identify a sociopath.
  • Approximately how many people are sociopaths.
  • What fields and professions sociopaths are “drawn” to (and yep, Internet marketing is like a nest of sociopaths).
  • 3 words (used by newbies and goo-roos) that are a big red flag you’re about to be pitched bullshit.
  • Why so many girls tend to fall hard for sociopaths.
  • Why good people running for office get butchered by the media while the sociopaths skate free and make it to the top.
  • Why I am starting to think all web designers are sociopaths (okay, I’m joking… sort of…)
  • Why Americans are so gullible.
  • Why I believe our financial system will collapse in the near future, and a badass “model citizen” (you can find him on Facebook) to study if you want to be prepared.
  • Why I don’t trust social proof.
  • Why guys should never let a girl “friend zone” them.
  • Why NLP is nonsense.
  • Why I don’t believe in business and marketing coaching.
  • Why my deranged “Zombie Cop” novel will sell more copies of my “Christian Business Secrets” book
  • A writing trick I use to boost my creativity, have more physical energy, be in better shape and write for longer periods of time without fatigue
  • How to “root out” all the weird stuff in your subconscious (which often translates to making more sales from your emails and ads)
  • A reliable “acid test” that tells you whether you should cut something out when editing any kind of writing you do
  • The Dean Koontz secret to fast pressure-free writing
  • The most important part of your novel for making the maximum amount of sales
  • How to pre-launch fiction (using a secret the world’s greatest living copywriter discovered when he was young, about to lose his job, and HAD to write an ad that worked or he’d be canned. And, yes, this works for non-fiction, too…)
  • A secret “power editing” secret for having the tightest, easiest-to-read writing (works with fiction and non-fiction)
  • The one time entertaining emails won’t works
  • A small tweak that can turn even boring “plain vanilla” emails into fascinating and persuasive emails that nab lots of sales
  • How to write a 1-star review. (Yes, my little droogie, I am going to show you how to write a 1-star review (for amazon, itunes, etc) — whether it’s to pan something I create or someone else. Most 1-star reviews sound either like trolls or just blatantly dishonest. If you want your little 1-star reviews to be taken seriously then check this episode out ASAP.)
  • How to make more profits by attracting less customers.
  • The missing million-dollar ingredient practically every single direct marketer on the face of the earth lacks. (I learned this from the most underrated marketing mind on the Internet — it’s also used by Amazon, Apple, the Catholic Church, Hollywood studios and even airports, karate schools and every restaurant you’ll ever eat at.)
  • The easiest & fastest way copywriters (even noobs) can get clients.
  • The exact kind of chicks I’m attracted to (and why I gotta change this — STAT).
  • The best way to get top-of-mind branding in your market. (You can forget all the silly little branding tips you’re hearing online — doing this costs you hardly anything, requires no outsourcing or complicated testing, and will do more for your “brand” than all the fancy tips and tricks taught online combined).
  • How to sell in a way people LIKE to buy from. (People not only don’t resent you for pitching your products, they practically thank you for it, and are eager to come back for more.)
  • Why I don’t encourage people to buy “Email Players” before they’ve opted into my list.
  • How to use Star Wars’ marketing funnel to “pre sell” products you haven’t even created yet. (You can potentially presell a product 15+ years in advance using this powerful method.)
  • How to argue with a woman and win every time.
  • And much, much mo’…

To get all these tips (free), listen to the interviews at:

Let’s get. it. awwwwn…

Ben Settle

Why Them Other Masterminds Suck Compared To Oceans 4

My, but that’s an arrogant bastard kinda statement, ain’t it?

Well, here’s why I say it:

Yes, there’s the world class clients we’ve attracted.

(Agora, Tao Of Badass-#1 business on Clickbank, Russell Brunson, a New York Time bestselling author, one of the world’s top marketers for PGA Tour Players, the list goes on…)

Yes, there’s the financial benefits.

(Adding major $$ to your sales sometimes with just a few tweaks.)

And, yes, there’s the hot seats & “talking shop.”

(You will likely get a ton more value from the OTHER peoples’ hot seats and rapping about bid’niz when you eat, drink and make-merry after the event — that is very common at our masterminds).

But, there’s one other thing, too.

Something far more profitable for the lucky few we allow to attend.

I’m yapping about something my Oceans 4 Mastermind partner (and “Email Players” subscriber) Ryan Levesque wrote to his list recently. It explains why we’ve been inspiring copy-cats, and why one guru tried to “infiltrate” us last time (we basically laughed at his lame sales pitch on letting him attend for free, which sounded more like something you’d read on the Warrior Forum than from a trained professional…)

By the way… People sometimes ask me, “What’s the difference between YOUR mastermind and some of the other ones out there?”

Well, a couple things.

First, this is a REAL mastermind.

We keep this thing SMALL and elite for a reason.

Everybody gets a LOT of personalized attention.

Both from US…

And from the rest of the group.

(Because the event builds such a tight-knit group, your fellow attendees will become some of your most valuable business contacts for years to come.)

Why is small so important?

Well, put it this way:

If you see someone pitching you a mastermind and there are 25, 50, 150 people part of that mastermind?

That’s not a mastermind.

That’s a f*cking conference.

There’s a difference.

And you should know what you’re signing up for.

That’s number one.

Number two…

One of the things we do that NO other mastermind does…

Is me and boys, dig deep into your business BEFORE we all get together in person.

We look at your funnels.

We dig into your emails.

We rip apart your sales letters.

We secret shop you.

And the REASON why we do this is so we can hit the ground running when we get to your hot seat.

We don’t waste time asking stupid questions about what you do.

We know.

Because we’ve completely dissected your business.

All our questions are answered BEFORE you show up.

Which means, you get nothing but pure unadulterated value at the event itself – with detailed, step-by-step, actionable advice…

Sound like something you want to be part of?

Here’s the link to get on the interest list and submit your application:

Remember, only 4 spots left.

And Friday’s the deadline to get your application in at the “Early Bird” pricing.

The sooner you submit your app – the better chance you got for getting in.

Look forward to seeing you on the other side…

The Fezziwig School Of Advanced Marketing

A true story about how to add sales to ye bottom line:

One of the characters who doesn’t make an appearance in “Zombie Cop”, but who is referenced is Anghel “Fezziwig” Belasco.

He’s a grouchy & crotchety 4,000+ year old vampire.

And, he’s a major character in the sequel.

I created his middle name while talking about it with “Email Players” subscriber and 3x’s returning “Oceans 4 Mastermind” repeat client Jim Clair while we were having dinner in Vegas one night, over a Samuel Adams “Old Fezziwig” Lager.

It was a powerful breakthrough.

And, should help the sequel’s sales quite a bit.

In fact…

If’n I don’t screw it up, the sequel should be one of the most entertaining vampire stories ever written based almost solely on this vampire’s personality I was able to nail down by talking to Jim that night (and the other times we hung out in Vegas).

But, that’s not all.

I got a bunch more ideas from “casual” talk at Oceans 4.

Like, for example, “Email Players” subscriber Murray Gray gave me a cool idea I will be teaching in a future “Email Players” issue.

Russell Brunson taught me a kick ass subject line tip.

Andre Chaperon taught me a huge tip about email timing.

And Steve Gray (our special guest — a media buying genius who buys over $10 million per year in media — fascinating guy) showed me how to promote my “Zombie Cop” book (he even used it as an example during his talk) and get leads for

And the list goes on.

None of these tips were taught during the mastermind.

They were taught at bars and restaurants we took the clients to.

The point?

I can’t speak for the other guys.

But to me, the most valuable part of our Oceans 4 Mastermind Workshops ain’t necessarily the hot seats. It’s afterwards, when we take attendees to a pub, grab a table and just… talk marketing. And so, if you’re interested in our next Oceans 4 event (in Miami, June 21 & 22) this is something to think about.

Here’s what to do next:

1. Go to

2. Watch the video

3. Opt in

4. Follow the instructions

It ain’t cheap.

And it ain’t for the timid.

But, it can put lots more coinage in ye olde pocketses.

We’ll see ya on the other side, Fezz…

Ben Settle

It’s All Good In The elbenbo ‘Hood

Let me tell you a secret about where I live.

It’s in a small, jerk-water town called Roseburg (what I call “The Burgle” due to the crime, etc). And I live in a pretty cool, up-to-date and comfortable place on top of a steep hill that towers above a run-down neighborhood full of shacks and people who sometimes live in their two-tone rust cars parked along narrow streets.

The elbenbo side of me digs it.

He’s like the grinch overlooking Whoville.

He lords himself above the peasants below while he plots to take over the world — long suffering dog by his side.

Anyway, elbenbo is very comfy in his Burgle lair.

And, he doesn’t like leaving.

But in June he’s gotta sac up and teach at TWO live events:

1. I’ll tell you about next week
2. The “Oceans 4 Mastermind Workshop” in Miami

I teach this with Andre Chaperon, Ryan Levesque & Jack Born.

BTW, in case you don’t know…

Andre is a master auto-responder writer, strategist and teacher. Jack’s a programmer and Perry Marshall’s affiliate manager who’s like the “Walter White” of marketing — cooking up software for exploding sales in his motor home (I imagine smoke billowing out of vents from his office…) And Ryan has taught college level classes on advanced neuroscience at an Ivy League university, and uses that knowledge to build lists and funnels for his multi-million dollar clients.

And before you even ask…

Yes, Oceans 4 is expensive.

It’s also hard to get into.

(We limit it to 8 businesses and “vet” everyone.)

Plus, it’s working so well that, before our last event in Vegas, some schlub tried to infiltrate it, so his guru boss could copy what we do.

(It was amusing.)

But who could blame them?

We have been attracting the best-of-the-best clients — including 2 of the biggest online direct response companies: Agora ($200 million per year newsletter empire) and Tao of Badass (#1 company on Clickbank) — both of who have attended our previous 2 events, and have already paid to attend our 3rd one in June, too.

(3-peat, baby.)

All of which makes elbenbo uneasy.

After all, this can only mean more travel…

Anyway, to read about our June event, go to:

elbenbo out…

Oceans Fo’ Mastermind Workshop

Quiz time…

What do the following have in common:

  • Agora Publishing ($200+ million newsletter empire)
  • Bad Ass Ventures (The #1 Selling Company on Clickbank)
  • Founder of the biggest job portal in Australia’s multi billion dollar mining industry
  • A New York Times Bestselling financial author
  • One of the world’s top marketers for PGA Tour Players
  • Russel Brunson (Quite possibly the savviest online direct marketing genius I’ve ever met — just hanging out with this guy will make you a better marketer by “osmosis”)
  • And a handful of other world class entreprenerus doing high 6, 7 and even 8 figures per year?

If you guessed:

“Ben, it’s that ‘Oceans 4 Mastermind dealio you do with your merry band of marketing friends”…

You’d be correctamundo.


All the above have been represented at our last two “Oceans 4″ mastermind intensive trainings in San Diego & Las Vegas I taught at with Andre Chaperon (master auto-responder writer, strategist and teacher)… Jack Born (the “Walter White” of creating marketing tools & Perry Marshall’s affiliate manager)… and Ryan Levesque (marketing funnel wizard who uses advanced neuroscientific principles to ramp up response rates for his multi-million dollar earning clients).

These Oceans 4 events ain’t no sipping tea, neither.

Here’s what happens:

We put each one of the attendees on the “hot seat” and viciously slashed away at their marketing problems, plans, strategies and copy with a sadistic glee that’d make Attila the Hun cringe at the horror of it all.

Emails & copy were sliced, diced and dissected.

Sales funnels were set on fire and destroyed.

And, entire marketing plans were brutally murdered.

(And resurrected stronger than ever.)

It was exhausting.

But, also sadistic fun.

As real breakthroughs were made. Websites and copy were radically changed. Sales funnels were bullet-proofed. And, lots of new sales are rolling in… (for example, the head writer for the #1 selling company on Clickbank nearly doubled their investment back after sending out just ONE email with a simple tweak I showed him during his hot seat…)

Anyway, what’s this got to do with you?

Probably nothing.

Unless, you’d like the same treatment in Miami on June 21st and 22nd this year.

And, also, if you can make a decision fast.

Here’s the deal:

We only make 8 spots available.

And the first 4 are already filled (two of those spots were instantly snatched up by 3-time returning multi-million dollar monster companies Agora and Badass Ventures), and the last two times we filled all our spots within a couple weeks.

So there is not a lot of time to fart around about this.

If you’re interested, zip on over to:

Opt in to the list.

You’ll then be shunted to a page where you can read all the details on what you get, what you’ll learn and what to expect, as well as how to apply.

But, be warned, my little droogie.

We have strict “filters” in place in who we accept as clients.

For example:

If your business doesn’t make at least $100k per year… if you have to “scrape” the money together (and won’t have the ability or power to implement what you learn quickly)… or if you are just kind of a timid, overly emotional person who is easily offended or can’t check any mush cookie feelings at the door (it WILL be brutal, and that’s why it works so well) then you are better off not wasting your time applying.

This is not a sales “creator.”

It’s a sales “multiplier.”

You don’t have to be a huge company.

But, you have to have the ability to implement.

Again, time is short.

Here’s where to apply:

Ben Settle