I Must Have A Talent For Angering The Wominz

A website reader laments:

“I just don’t see how bothering people every day in their inbox can be the right way to do email marketing. I refuse to be an imposition on my list and i have been on your list for months and think you send way too many emails which sometimes makes me feel angry. you will laugh at me for this but I dont care lol”

Spirited ain’t she?

Spirited and, of course, wrong.

(Amusing how the irony of her angrily being on my list for months yet still reading my DAILY emails is lost on her heh).

Anyway, hers is a purely emotional complaint.

And also selfish, too, in my humble (but arrogant) opinion.

Why?

Because if you have something to offer that can truly help someone (i.e. you believe in your product) then it’s your ethical and moral DUTY to let them know about it — often.

You’re not imposing on them.

You’re doing them a favor.

Especially the procrastinators.

Example:

My high school reunion is later next month.

And, I have NOT bought my tickets yet despite the looming deadline.

Well, guess what?

They’re emailing us all the time now to get tickets.

My bad procrastinating self WANTS that reminder.

They’re doing me a service.

And so it is with YOUR product.

If it’s something they’re simply procrastinating on (for whatever reason)… your relentless daily follow up is appreciated by your would-be buyers.

And the rest?

The lukewarm people?

Hopefully it DOES annoy them so they’ll get off your list already.

So mail early, and mail often, babycakes.

Your list will thank you for it.

To learn how to write daily emails they love reading and buying from, check out the “Email Players” newsletter.

Next issue mails soon.

Subscribe here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Another Exciting Episode Of “As The Hamster Spins”

FADE IN:

“Email Players” subscriber Ricky Breslin sent me an article about how people still blindly believe social media is the Second Coming of marketing, even as hardcore social media cheerleaders (including Ford’s social media manager) are shying away from using the term at all.

Yes, social media has its uses.

And there will always be a market for it.

(People shoveling horse poo for a living will always need shovels…)

But, it’s always been a prime example of cognitive dissonance — where your brain comes up with rationalizations (and believe it even MORE) when something’s proven false.

It’s actually fun to watch.

Here are more examples:

  • Believing the Nobel Peace Prize winning president has “the most transparent administration in history” (even with Fast & Furious, Benghazi, secretly obtaining reporter phone records and an IRS that targets its political enemies…)
  • Clinging to junk science global warming theories
  • Insisting WMD’s are in Iraq
  • Swallowing the Republicans want smaller government lie
  • Thinking “low fat” diets make people skinny
  • Falling for illogical gun control arguments (cue up the typical “more guns equal more gun deaths!” line, which is like saying open rates are the same as sales… look at overall homicides and violent crime Mr. Hamster — would you rather have less guns with more murders and violent crime, or more guns with less murders and violent crime…)
  • Believing insurance will be cheaper under Obamacare (lulz)

And so on…

Poor lil’ hamsters.

Must be getting tired.

Anyway, I know some are ITCHING to write me a long, essay-like email response to this.

(Yes! Do it! Release the hamster KRAKEN. heh)

But, here’s a better idea:

Take that energy and write an email to your list, instead.

It’ll be FAR more profitable.

And, it’ll give ye olde hamster a rest.

Learn how it’s done at:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Why Swiping Emails Is The Mark Of A Loser

Got a new policy for new website subscribers.

And that is, whenever someone with an email address containing the word “swipe”, or “swipes” or anything related to that subscribes… I delete ‘em on sight.

Why?

Because they’re most likely clueless.

Probably subscribing for the wrong reasons.

And, are obviously there to “swipe” the words in my emails, instead of learn from them.

Look, I get it.

I used to be a big fan of swiping, too.

But when I started doing copywriting assignments in the really competitive markets, I discovered I could only keep relying on swipe files for as long as I could afford to lose.

Sorry, Chachi.

But swipe files are overrated.

And here are a few reasons why:

  • Ad appeals that worked before may not work now
  • Sometimes ads that “killed it” (supposedly) did so only because the other ads they competed against sucked
  • Market “awareness” often changes
  • Market sophistication often changes (see Gene Schwartz’s “Breakthrough Advertising” book for more on “awareness” and “sophistication”)

Hey, I’m not anti-swipe file.

I’m just anti swiping the way a lot of Internet marketers do it. Swipe files are great for idea generation, inspiration and templates for headlines, opening paragraphs, bullets, etc.

But stealing ad copy word-for-word?

Stoopid on a stick.

Especially with emails where it’s the mark of a loser (especially since the best emails are heavily personality-based).

I know this email falls on lots of deaf ears.

But it’s not for everyone.

It’s for those with ears to hear for selling online — not the swipers, amateurs and losers anyway.

Now let’s talk bid’niz.

Next “Email Players’ issue includes:

  • Secrets of an entrepreneur who sells $30 million of wine per year… JUST with email
  • A profitable kind of email I think every single marketer should send to their list right away. (Based on the “50 Shades” book series which have brought in a fortune.)
  • How to increase sales by making it harder to buy from you
  • How to master email copywriting in the fastest time humanely possible (discovered by the world’s greatest living copywriter — and won’t cost you a dime)
  • And a ho’ bunch mo’…

This puppy goes to the printer in 2 weeks.

Subscribe here to get it in time:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

If You Wanna Play You Gotta Pay, Baby

Not sure why, exactly…

But over the past few weeks I’ve been getting more website subscribers asking for free advice. I’m talking about specific questions about their website, emails, squeeze pages, sales letters, etc.

Mostly, these questions are ignored.

And often, they’re immediately deleted.

Why am I such a prick about it?

Well, I’m not.

I’m simply delivering on what I promise to “Email Players” subscribers per the sales letter — www.EmailPlayers.com — where it says one of the “perks” of subscribing is email access to me with marketing questions.

There are 2 kinds of people whose questions I answer:

1.) My close pals in the biz
2.) “Email Players” subscribers

Everyone else?

I might answer their question in my free daily tips.

Maybe.

But, probably not.

After all, why would I give someone free what my most loyal, savvy and serious students are paying for? How does that repay their loyalty? How does that honor what’s promised in the sales letter?

Answer:

It doesn’t.

Now, let me be clear –

It’s perfectly okay to ask me for advice.

Worst case is, I don’t answer it.

And sometimes a question fits in perfectly with an email I’m writing and I WILL answer it. Or, I may have already answered it on my blog somewhere and I may just shoot you a link to that post.

Also, this doesn’t apply to customer service.

(Those are always answered.)

Only people asking for advice.

Bottom line?

If you wanna play, you gotta pay.

Go here next:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Riding The Goo-roo Carousel

“Email Players” subscriber Mathew Kimberly writes:

“I started emailing my tiny 1200 person list daily in January. People love it. Open rates have gone UP. But most importantly, I sent a single email this month promoting a $497 product I created. Within 48 hours I’d had 17 buyers. That’s $7 a name. Never had results like it before. I have daily emails to thank. Without them, the trust wouldn’t have been there. (Also had much stronger responses when I promote other people’s stuff.)”

You know, I have a theory about daily emails.

Specifically, why so few people do it.

And, why they resort to quoting studies by Mailchimp or whatever that say daily emails are bad, etc.

Here’s my theory:

Most people are too lazy to write an email per day.

Sad, but true.

They prefer pissing away their lives on social media.

Debating nonsense on forums.

And, riding the “goo-roo carousel” — buying one BSO (bright shiny object) after another perpetually… safely blaming their lack of sales on everything but their unwillingness to commit 20 minutes of their precious Flakebook stalking time to writing an email designed to, you know, sell their product.

Sigh.

It is what it is.

Just means more sales for me.

And, for everyone else who mails daily (the right way).

If you want in on these sales, go to:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

The 10 Goo-roo Fanboy Commandments

Let’s yap about goo-roo fanboys.

They’re people who latch onto a goo-roo and ape everything that goo-roo does. They use the goo-roo’s emails verbatim. Never do anything outside accepted goo-roo orthodoxy. And, even worse, start selling info products based on what little they know (which is often skewed or outdated info) to OTHER hapless newbies who then follow suit — at which point they grant themselves goo-roo status.

Frankly, I wouldn’t be shocked if they had their own “creed.”

Even their own “commandments.”

Something like…

I  Thou shalt tell people to test but never test anything thyself

II Thou shalt spend thy time in marketing forums and avoid real work as much as humanly possible

III Thou shalt mindlessly quote thy favorite goo-roo whenever thou art asked a question

IV Thou shalt shamelessly swipeth ALL thy ad copy

V Thou shalt never run an ad selling a money-making product without at least one phony photoshopped bank statement as “proof”

VI Thou shalt NOT blaspheme goo-roos by refusing to participate in their every product launch

VII Thou shalt only join lists that give away free info and rebuke all those who dare sell thee anything (unless ’tis a goo-roo list, of course)

VIII Thou shalt inflate and exaggerate ALL claims

IX Thou shalt use the same form email all thy competition uses when promoting products to thy list

X Thou shalt honor the 50+ word headline and keep it holy

Hey, don’t scoff.

If you’ve met a goo-roo fanboy you KNOW I speakth the truth here.

Again, I’m not saying goo-roo fanboys are evil.

Amusing?

Yep.

Bad people?

Not usually

(Just misguided).

But I wouldn’t recommend listening to them.

Go here next:

www.EmailPlayers.com


Ben Settle

Righteously Spewing People Off Your List

“I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou were cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of My mouth.”

Revelation 3:15-16

Oh yeah, baby!

The above is from the book of Revelation.

And while it has nothing to do with business or marketing or selling… I use it as my guide to business, marketing and sales in virtually every ad, email and marketing piece I create.

Why?

What’s the big deal?

Because I prefer my readers to be hot or cold.

Someone who is hot, is not only ready to buy, but is ready to solve whatever problem the product I’m selling solves.

And someone who’s cold?

They will move on.

Hopefully unsubscribe from my list.

And, find the solution/business/product that does turn them on — and spend their money on that, instead.

Hot or cold is GOOD.

Lukewarm is bad.

Lukewarm people suck up your time.

Waste your bandwidth.

And, never make a decision.

They are often the people who wander around from one list to the next… never buying, rarely committing… and always complaining.

They’re the blokes who want everything NOW.

Everything FAST.

And, yes, everything FREE.

Screw that sideways.

That’s why I do everything I can to “spew” them off my lists… to get them to unsubscribe… and, to hopefully, never hear from them.

Hey, I know that’s not “nice.”

But if it’s good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.

And so, it’s the “Email Players” way of selling.

No… it won’t make you popular.

But it can make you more sales.

And make business more fun.

Learn how it’s done at:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Casting Advertising Critics Into Mount Doom

Recently, I watched The Hobbit again.

The Hobbit is the prelude to the “Lord Of The Rings” movies from 10 years ago showing how Bilbo the hobbit found the One Ring decades before Frodo and Sam take up the quest to destroy it in the fires of Mount Doom.

Anyway, the “purists” hate The Hobbit.

They say it doesn’t follow the book.

That it’s completely idiotic.

And, that it flat out sucks.

Yet, that “sucky” movie surpassed $1 billion at the global box office — making it the fourth biggest film in Warner Bros.’ history.

Which brings me to the point:

Critics are everywhere.

And it’s funny how (in many cases) the more they hate on something, the MORE that thing sells.

Whether it be movies.

Or foods.

Or, yes, advertising.

This is why I always ignore “advertising critics.”

Yes, hear them out.

(Even a busted clock is right twice per day…)

But realize:

Most critics are terrible at judging what’s effective.

You’re far better off listening to your market.

What THEY think.

What THEY say.

And, what THEY buy.

One more thing.

Something else “hobbit” related.

Everyone I know in business has that One Thing that rules their lives, driving them to want to be in business for themselves.

Whether it be to quit their job.

Or pay off their debts.

Or just grease the grooves of life, etc.

I speaketh of that One Thing that holds them back.

Keeps them from getting ahead.

And, that needs to be destroyed.

Everyone’s One Thing is different.

And whatever yours is, I can’t carry it for you.

But, I CAN carry you (heh).

When you subscribe to the “Email Players” newsletter, I do this by giving you monthly “virtual coaching” via the newsletter. Plus, the other “perks” that come with your subscription, including asking me questions about email, getting discounted (or free) products… and even submitting one email per month for critique.

Yes, it’s expensive.

(Very expensive.)

And, no, it’s not for everyone.

So no “impulse buyers”, please.

People like that just waste their time and money.

But for the few who do qualify?

Subscription info is at:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Machine Gun Persuader

“…if your child or family member was abducted today, if a mad man came in, a terrorist came in, abducted your family member or your child and if I said to you I can bring your child home…does it matter how I bring them home?”

- Sam Childers

Saw a very cool movie recently.

It’s called:

“Machine Gun Preacher”

It’s about the real life story of Sam Childers — a violent drug-dealing biker and ex-con who converts to Christianity, goes to east Africa to help rebuild homes destroyed by civil war and becomes a crusader for the Sudanese children who are being tortured, raped, sold into slavery and forced to become soldiers. (Amnesty International estimates over 400,000 murders and 40,000 abductions per year). The “machine gun” part comes in when he starts leading armed missions into the enemy territory to save these kidnapped children.

The movie is brilliantly written.

Brilliantly acted.

And… brilliantly persuasive.

Here’s what I mean:

The first time I saw it I wanted to donate to Sam’s “Angels Of East Africa” organization (which operates ONLY on donations — no government or political assistance). The sheer horrors of what these kids experience is chilling. And, as violent as the movie is, it still falls WAY short of showing the hell that’s really happening to these kids.

And yet, I saw no call to action.

No URL plugged.

(Unless I missed it.)

The STORY alone got me looking it up online so I could donate to Sam’s organization that very night.

Thus, the power of stories.

People are “hardwired” to be persuaded by stories.

Learn how to tell stories in your emails and you can make sales even if you suck at “copywriting.”

Case in point:

Next month’s “Email Players” issue.

It’s about a wine maker who nabs $30 million per year JUST telling stories in emails.

Lots and lots of stories.

Sometimes 2-3 per day!

There’s lots of cool psychology in what he does.

And, it’ll be in the June issue.

(Which goes to print the first week of June.)

Go here to subscribe:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Mailchimp Excites The Mail Chumps

Saw this amusing Google+ post yesterday:

Email marketer +Ben Settle is known for sending messages to his list every day. He argues that if you are giving good content then people won’t be annoyed.

A new study by Mailchimp disagrees. A frequency of your campaigns increase, engagement tends to decrease.

The exception – daily emails about a short term event, like a presidential campaign.

The takeaway here is simple. Run for political office and you’ll have an excuse for increasing…

Funny stuff.

Not sure who Mailchimp is talking about.

But it sure as hellz ain’t talking about guys like me. (Sales have nearly doubled since this time last year.) Or my “Email Players” subscribers. (Just yesterday I quoted a subscriber doing my 30-day challenge — which requires daily emails — who made more sales in March than in January and February combined.) Or all the other smart marketers who have long known daily is best. (Right now, for example, I’m working on the June “Email Players” newsletter — and I’m analyzing a wine maker who nabs $30 MILLION per year sending *multiple* daily emails to his list — and sells ONLY with email.)

But, like I keep saying:

All these chumps believing “less email is better” is good.

It means (if you do it right) you’ll have zero competition.

While your little mush cookie competitors are blindly following studies and only sending out one email per week or whatever, you can kick some gluteus assimus.

But, you have to do it right.

Otherwise Mailchimp is correct:

People will ignore you.

That’s where my “Email Players” newsletter can help.

My system calls for daily emails.

But, it’s simple.

And fun.

And, yes, profitable.

Here’s where to subscribe:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

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