Ben Settle

  • Novelist
  • Anti-professional
  • Author
  • Email Specialist

Double Your Sales With Email

World Leader In Email Copywriting Education is Giving AwayTips For Doubling Sales With Email Right Now

Use the form below to open his daily email tips and a free digital copy of the prestigious $97/month “Email Players” newsletter…

Your Daily Email Addiction

Filed under: Email Marketing


Hear that?

That’s the sound a thousand marketing proles flocking to a business. And, if you want them to change their trajectory and go to your business, instead, below is a proven game plan for getting all the marketing prole lovin’ your greedy self could ever want, following you on Flakebook, joining your email list, and kissing your righteous booty:

  • Constantly behave like you’re a badass by going heavy on the Internet tough guy/girl attitude
  • Brag about being better than what your track record says you are
  • Give little or no credit to those who helped you (books you read, courses you took, people who you learned from, etc) so people think you figured it all out on your own
  • Swear all the time to look “edgy” and “cool” (bonus points if you do it in your product titles)
  • Keep your prices really low while talking about how high quality your product/service is

Do this and the marketing proles looking for a place to plug their umbilical cord into will love you. And, if you sell products and services that have nothing to do with selling to other marketers, fret not. The above will work for any market to get the bottom-of-the-barrel customers.

In fact, they’ll follow you in droves.

They’ll say how genius and wonderful you are every time you post or mail.

And, you will build a solid following of them.

Yes, they’ll be mostly price shoppers, T-rexers/kangaroos (as I’ve heard ‘em called — i.e. their arms are too short to get to their wallets), serial refunders, butt smoochers looking for free advice. But, they are a market a lot of people make a living selling to.

And the high class customers/clients?

The ones who look for quality?

Who are the good kind of price shopper (i.e. they buy because your prices are high, with no time and patience for cheap)?

And who are serious about solving the problem your product helps with?

(And ready to buy your solution)

They’ll ignore, scoff, and maybe even mock you.

And, probably never buy from you.

It’s your business, you can run it however you want.

But if you want to learn how to write emails the classier group above enjoys (and looks forward to) reading and buying from, go here:

Ben Settle

Filed under: Email Marketing

Once upon a time, I saw a flakebook post where people were weeping & gnashing their teeth over “graymail.”

What is graymail?

It’s when people opt in to get your emails, but never engage.

i.e. They never read them.

Never click on your links.

And, just let them sit in their inbox.

ESP’s notice this and they penalize you for it.

My opinion?

Graymail, Gmail’s promotions folder, more aggressive spam filters, and all other so-called DEATH OF EMAIL! changes have always worked to my advantage. In fact, what amused me the most about the email ex-spurt solutions displayed was not a single one of them mentioned simply writing emails people want to read, click, and buy from in the first place.

For example:

Nobody talked about generating more qualified traffic.

Or finding higher quality leads.

Or qualifying their opt-ins harder.

(Both at the opt-in page and right after)

Or learning how to write more engaging copy.

Or any of the other fundamentals of direct response marketing that people who have only learned from other “Internet” marketers rarely get around to talking about while doing their social media grandstanding.

More fun facts:

According to the ex-spurts my ways shouldn’t work.

I’ve been told this by several of them over the years, even as my sales have gone up, my business has gotten more successful, my audience has grown, my customer loyalty has increased, and my “Email Players” subscribers have told me about their record sales doing all this stuff that supposedly doesn’t work.

It always reminds me of this Earl Nightingale-ism:


“Whatever you find yourself doing, if you look around at what everyone else is doing, and do the opposite, you’ll probably never make another mistake for as long as you live.”

All right, that’s enough Internet for today.

To write emails people look forward to reading and engaging with, go here:

Ben Settle

Filed under: Email Marketing

One of my favorite Twitter accounts Wall Street Playboys recently shot out another gem:

If you’re looking for new contacts?

Avoiding the unhappy is probably the very first rule

No such thing as unhappy & “successful”

This is some of the best advice you’ll ever get.

It’s one of the 48 Laws of Power, too.

And, it’s something I’ve been actively doing for years. Nothing personal against miserable people. But other peoples’ misery is as contagious as the bewb-onic plague, and just as deadly to your peace of mind and success. This is especially true when their misery is self-inflicted, they do nothing to change their circumstances, and even stubbornly cling to it for the attention/drama/flakebook likes it creates.

Best part?

Social media makes it as easy as falling off a couch to spot ‘em.

See someone constantly droning about how sucky their lives are (personal life, business life, love life, family life, dating life, work life, friendship life, online life, offline life, and the list goes on…) and all their so-called “problems”?

Avoid them.

Even better:

Cut ‘em out completely.

I routinely do this, coldly and without explanation. Including to people I’ve done business with and who have been paying customers, people I’ve considered friends, and even certain family members who get out of line.

And you know what?

I’ve never once regretted it.

(If anything, I tend to wait too long to do it.)

Just reading their bull shyt will screw with your head.

All right enough.

If you’re full of misery, there’s not much I can do to help. That is, unless your misery is caused by a lack of sales. If that’s the case, my “Email Players” newsletter can wipe that slack, bovine-look off your face in no time.

Here’s the link:

Ben Settle

Filed under: Email Marketing

I was yapping with “Email Players” subscriber Stefanie Arroyo recently who is in the coaching industry, and she was telling me about all the self-described “enlightened” marketers/coaches/entrepreneur chicks in her niche.

Some of these enlightened dames do things like:

  • Not taking coaching calls during the dark moon
  • Not starting ad campaigns until mercury retrograde is over
  • Creating “energetically aligned” funnels
  • Not taking any clients on unless they do energy clearing and the client has done an oracle card reading first
  • And (The One Enlightenment Secret To Rule Them All) manifesting money by masturbating and thinking of money when they orgasm

There were a lot more (those are just the ones I remember).

And here’s why I bring this up:

I don’t know what kind of dough these chicks make, but I would bet one of the spirit crystals they stuff down their bras at night that elBenbo’s unapologetically *endarkened* email ways (that have worked since the inception of the Internet, aint nothing new under the sun) would make them a lot more sales, with a lot less hassle, and in a lot faster time than their enlightened ways — regardless of the phase of the moon or if their energy is aligned (or even if their energy is just plum drained from all that money manifesting in the bathtub).

It’s certainly been the case for other coaches who have learned at my non-altar.

And, for a lot of other business people, too.

All without having to touch your parts to manifest the success.

To see if my unenlightened ways can help you (no stuffing crystals down your bra required), go ye here:

Ben Settle

Filed under: Email Marketing

Recently, I heard the late great success coach Earl Nightingale talk about a bloke in 1890 named Russell Conwell who wrote a book called:

“Acres of Diamonds”

It’s about an African farmer who heard tales about other farmers who had made millions by discovering diamond mines. So he sold his farm and sally-forthed to make his fortune finding diamonds.

The result?

He never found any diamonds.

And, ended up despairing, throwing himself into a river.

Meanwhile, back at the farm he sold:

The guy who bought his farm found a huge diamond on the property. And, later, discovered the farm was the biggest diamond mine in the country.

Why am I telling you this?

Because currently, I’m helping a customer launch her business.

(Using my Unruly email ways, of course)

She teaches business owners how to “personality type” their customers and clients, so they can write better ads, negotiate higher fees, get more clients, hire more compatible employees, and the list goes on. So, I started asking her questions about her background and experience to help generate some ideas for her emails.

And guess what?

Turns out she went to law school and worked for a personal injury attorney.

And, in an off-hand remark, she said:

“I once used this skill to talk a suicidal man off a ledge.”

“STOP!” I yelled with righteous indignation.

“What’d I say wrong, Mr. elBenbo?”

I then proceeded to tell her how that one story adds a thick layer of proof and credibility, and a dramatic demonstration, to all her marketing. (Not just in an email, but live streams, webinars, content, podcasts, videos, speaking on stage, whatever she markets with.)

A big ol’ fatty diamond in her own backyard winking at her.

The point?

Most people never bother to mine their own diamonds. But smart people not only seek them out, but have trained their brains to always be on the lookout for them, even in the most unlikely places.

Something that comes automatically using my email methods.

(If you implement consistently)

Using my ways forces your brain to dig diamonds up.

If not in your backyard, in other places, too.

(Something the December issue goes deep into, incidentally).

To learn how my ways work, check out the “Email Players” newsletter.

Ben Settle

Filed under: Email Marketing

A corny little glimpse into the palantir of elBenbo’s past:

Back in 2001, before I stumbled into copywriting, marketing, and direct response (and email marketing wasn’t even on the back burner of my pea brain) I remember watching the movie “The Fellowship of the Ring” when it came out on opening day.

I loved every minute of it.

Props to Peter Jackson & Co.

They managed to strip out all the boring stuff from Tolkein’s books (didn’t really dig on reading 4 pages of what the hobbit’s ate and countless songs inserted into the narrative) and added even more action. To those who whine about it not “being pure to the books!” quit being a dumb ass and simply read the books then. Same goes for The Hobbit movies. Yes, those 3 movies are about 20% the book, but they are also 80% more fun than the book.

Back to the tale:

When Fellowship of the Ring came out I was going through some not-so-fun times.

Not life-threatening stuff or anything I didn’t bring on myself. Certainly nothing worth crying about on flakebook like the drama-queens and kings do about the dumbest things just for likes and attention and validation.

Just a bunch of first world problems.

But, in context, it wasn’t fun and I basically was a loser, with a marketing prole mindset, with a destiny of being a two bit MLM distributor without a pot to piss in, or a window to throw it out.

Enter the movie.

There is a part of the movie where the wizard Gandalf The Gray is talking to Frodo in the Mines of Moria. Orcs and demons of the ancient world could kill Frodo and his companions at any time. Gollum was hot on their trail. And they were more or less despairing.

Frodo says:

“I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.”

To which Gandalf the Grey replies:

“So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

That scene stuck in my psychology at the time.

It made me get my head out of my arse, sac up, and start thinking more clearly about getting things done.

It also made me understand the value of time.

We all — rich or poor — have the same 24 hours each day.

We can waste it surfing flakebook and social media, watching people kneel or not kneel at football games, or get seduced by the talking deads on cable news.

Or, we can work.

We can claw our way to our goals.

We can put pencil to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and create.

Time is passing regardless of what you do.

I once heard a story about a guy who wanted to get his Masters degree. He was complaining about how it would take 5 years of night school, and that’s such a long time, yada yada yada.

His friend said:

“So? Time is passing anyway. Five years from now you can have your masters degree, or you can be sitting around doing nothing wishing you’d gotten it. Time is passing no matter what you do.”

Anyway, something to think about.

I don’t care what you do with your time.

But, if you are looking at building your business and thinking “this is going to take me forever!”, realize time is passing whether you use it or not. Six months or a year from now, you could be building and profiting from your own business, or you could be stuck in the same situation you are now, waiting for whatever ducks you think you need in a row to get started.

It’s all up to you, you’re in charge.

Everyone has an hour a day.

Or, even a half hour per day.

Hellz… even 15 minutes per day.

Show me a man who consistently puts 15 minutes per day into building his business and I guarantee he will wipe the floor with the bloke who has 2 hours per day, but spends his time arguing on flakebook or watching TV.

Okay, enough of this drivel.

You either get it or you don’t.

If you get it, and if you’re ready to take your business towards success and prosperity, I can think of no faster way than email. If you have an offer and a list, my “Email Players” newsletter could be the magic staff you use to obliterate the gates to get what you want.

Here are the details:

Ben Settle

Filed under: Email Marketing

When I first launched “Email Players”, a blue light special who subscribed made me the following offer:

(Paraphrased, this was 6.5 years ago)

“Ben! If you’re so good at this, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is? I have an offer that converts at (whatever the %’s were). What if you write me an email campaign and I’ll pay you a commission on the extra sales over what I usually get! This is a great deal, you’d be a fool not to take me up on!”

My response?

“Away with ye, marketing prole boy.”

And off he scuttled… to some forum.

And, in this forum, he whined about my rebuking him to his marketing prole friends and, like the marketing proles do, they all started saying, “yeah, that Ben sure is a dummy — why wouldn’t he take you up on that generous offer?” Along with the usual prattling marketing proles do, with more drama than you can find on a Game of Thrones episode.

Another true story about marketing proles:

Once upon a time I decided to help someone get started in the copywriting bid’niz.

And, this person (a chick), started mysteriously getting various offers (all of them stewpid ideas) from various people (all guys pretending to be successful, but were just newbies) asking her to partner up/JV to sell their products, do work for them in exchange for “exposure”, and other deals that made zero sense at all considering she had zero experience at all, with no portfolio or prior experience. i.e. they simply wanted to have the secks with her and, like marketing proles with zero game do, that was the only way they knew to try.

My point?

Call them cautionary tales.

Marketing proles are everywhere.

And, this is one of the games they play.

If you’re new to this bid’niz, my advice is to tell them to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine.

Create your own offers.

Build your own list.

And email it every day.

As for creating offers and building a list, that’s not my speciality. But, when you’re ready for the email part, that’s where my “Email Players” newsletter comes into play.

It ain’t cheap.

And it ain’t for the marketing proles.

To see if it’s your cup of beer, check it out here:

Ben Settle

Filed under: Email Marketing

One of my favorite documentaries is about the late brilliant actor Steve McQueen, which, while not a “business” or “marketing” or “copywriting” or “email” training… has many embedded lessons on business, marketing, copywriting, and email.

Here’s what I mean:

When Steve McQueen was hired to play the lead in the TV show “Wanted: Dead or Alive”, he was notorious for demanding everything from the stunt men (he fired a stunt man on his first day, even though he didn’t have the authority to do it…) to the scripts were nothing short of the best they could be, and didn’t insult the viewer’s intelligence or come off as fake.

For example:

There was an instance where his character was supposed to fight 5 guy at a time and kick their arses.

Steve’s response?

No, that’s not realistic.

As someone who grew up on the streets, and had been in many actual fights, he knew how fake that was.

His solution?

He made the script writers change it so that his character snuck up on each of the villains, one at a time and isolated, and take them out that way. The result of these kinds of changes was a night and day difference, and a much more dramatic, yet realistic, show that was one of the most popular shows on TV.

That’s the power of being real with your audience.

With not insulting their intelligence.

With giving them a good time, but without making idiotically outrageous claims.

Bring reality to your email copy and watch your sales soar.

To learn my full email copywriting and marketing methodology, go here:

Ben Settle

Filed under: Email Marketing

True story from my Wine Villains event last July:

The day after the event, we all went to a winery. And “Email Players” subscriber, fire-breathing feminist, card-carrying Trump hater, and A-list copywriter (with a list of controls longer than the Clinton machine death count) Kim Krause Schwalm said:

(Paraphrased, based on memory)

“Ben, people think of you as a misogynist and sexist, but there are a lot of girls here to see you at Wine Villains. You obviously don’t hate women, you want to help women.”

My answer?

I don’t want to help *women*.

I want to help people.

Women just need the most help…

Anyway, here’s the point:

I have found that most chicks in this bid’niz can’t stand me. But, the small number who do, are insanely (in a good way, of course) loyal, and some of the best customers I have… who implement, profit handsomely from, and run with the information I teach them.

And they are this way (I believe) because:

1. I don’t put them on a pedestal

2. I don’t try to charm them

(If anything, I try to repel people, but that’s another email…)

3. If they’re mucking up I tell them what they don’t want to hear, instead of going out of my way to supplicate to them (like practically every man in their lives does) and not try to hurt their feelings — something the Facebook attention seekers, drama queens, and amusingly insecure “I give zero fugks!” chest-pounding chicks can’t stand.

In other words, I treat them like I treat guys.

Anyway, why should you care about any of this?

Probably you shouldn’t.

But maybe someone needed to hear it…

Now, on to the fun stuff:

Me pitching you.

If you want to learn my evil misogynist email copywriting ways, have a ball using them, and make a lot of sales implementing them, check out the “Email Players” newsletter by hitting the jump here:

But if you’re a dame, hear ye this:

Only do it *after* you fetch your man a sammich and beer.

Anything else, would be secksist…

Ben Settle

Filed under: Email Marketing

An inquiring mind requests:

“Can you write a email about harvey weinstein to show off your uncanny methods”

During my senior year in college, I did an internship in Un-holywood. And, the entire 8 weeks I was out there I couldn’t wait to get back home.

I hated that town.

I hated the people there.

And, I hated the seedy nightlife and filthy vibe that’s everywhere you go.

This was despite the fact:

  • I could have easily stayed out there working (I worked for some movie producers on the Warner Bros lot — getting a PA job, where everyone starts, on a movie was in the bag if I wanted it).
  • My boss’s wife (who was the casting director of shows and movies like NYPD Blue and Star Trek, while he was a production manager on many movies you’ve heard of) told me when we all had dinner one night I should pursue acting, and, very likely would have at least gotten an audition somewhere. (not that I had an interest in acting, but still…)
  • I had made several key contacts while there, and would probably not have had much trouble finding work in the industry due to the nature of knowing the right people.

Yes, even with a few opportunities for a career in movies (and I love movies) I wanted out.

And, I have never regretted it.

I didn’t know of any secks scandals at the time, but just being out there you can sense the corruption, filth, and depravity.

So the Harvey thing doesn’t shock me at all.

And who knows?

If enough Corey Feldmans and other victims start going to the police, and don’t let the Barbra Walters of the media mock and silence them, then it could all come tumbling down.

In the meantime?

Come to elBenbo’s casting couch (my “Email Players” newsletter), have an offer & plan, and build a list of receptive leads, and you can avoid having to whore yourself out to the cretins of the marketing world… slinging bull shyt affiliate offers, licking client boots, or being beholden to a job you hate.

It’s not nearly as hard as you may think.

And, it can happen fast, too.

When you’re ready for the email part, go ye here:

Ben Settle

Double Your Sales With Email

World Leader In Email Copywriting Education is Giving AwayTips For Doubling Sales With Email Right Now

Use the form below to open his daily email tips and a free digital copy of the prestigious $97/month “Email Players” newsletter…

  • Novelist
  • Anti-professional
  • Author
  • Email Specialist

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