Not that anyone but Yours Unruly should care.

But, next month marks the “Email Players” newsletter’s 6th birthday. And one way I want to celebrate in the newsletter next month is with a truly dull unpolished object of a teaching (absolutely nothing secksy about it whatsoever) that makes it ridiculously simple to pump out emails, get ideas for emails, and make lots of sales with your emails. It is one of those non-sexy, non-ninja, non-#crushingit tips most people will hear, nod, then ask, “yeah, yeah, yeah, now what else ya got?” without actually implementing it first.

(A common trait amongst people who sell online.)

Anyway, it’s something I had re-learned (like being yelled at, for foolishly forgetting) recently.

And, specifically, while listening to an interview between Ken McCarthy (the founding father of Internet marketing as we know it) and the great, and esteemed A-list copywriter Gary Bencivenga (widely regarded as the world’s greatest living copywriter). Anyway, the interview starts off talking about how Gary got started. How he was a very mediocre (at best) copywriter the first 10 years of his 40-year career, and downright sucked at it the first couple years — even though he thought he was better than he was due to having really good copy chiefs.

Long story short:

He had a family to support.

And, needed the income he earned as a copywriter.

Problem was, he realized how good he wasn’t after leaving his first job for another that paid better and was closer to where he lived. He said he was always just one boss’s bad day away from being fired. He barely wrote enough winners to keep his job. And, in fact, he had one assignment where the copy chief told him if it worked he could keep his job, otherwise he’d be fired.

Talk about pressure…

And then to add *more* pressure:

He was given an assignment which wasn’t selling books (which are generally easier to sell). Instead, he had to sell a completely different kind of product, and said he was sweating bullets looking at that terrifying blank sheet of paper in the typewriter. He simply didn’t know what to say or how to sell such a thing. With his job on the line, his income in jeopardy, and his career possibly hanging in the balance, he was forced to learn something most people (especially those who sell online…) never learn.

Or, if they learn it, they scoff at it as not being very secksy or cool or whatever.

Anyway, what was this lesson he learned?

Be patient, my Pet.

That lesson, and how I have applied it to *email* ever since, is safely locked away in the July “Email Players” issue.

It goes to the printer in a week.

If you want in on the fun, subscribe here to get it while you still can:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

I recently saw a flakebook post from a freelancer who got into a bit of a pickle.

The tl;dr version is this:

The copywriter found a client they liked, got excited at the sweet promises whispered in their ear of being put on retainer, then, going against their own policy, delivered a final draft before being paid for it (which the copywriter acknowledged was a muck up — and, let’s face it, it happens).

Then (shockingly!)… the client never paid.

Yes, even after sending the client reminders, and all that jazz.

Anyway, this is one of many reasons I don’t do client work.

In fact, other than a sales letter I wrote last year for a buddy (I was supposed to just consult the originally hired copywriter on the project, but then just did it myself, screw it), I haven’t done client work in exactly 6 years come this August 1st.

I don’t hate the players of copywriting (freelancers and clients).

I simply hate the game.

And in my way of thinking, why play a game you hate?

Anyway, this is why I keep things simple and neat and not dependent on clients.

It’s:

1. Opt in page
2. Relentless daily emails to a single, scalable offer
3. Sell people who buy that offer other things

No clients necessary.

No fancy software, or funnels, or tech skills needed.

And, no having to play by someone else’s rules.

Anyway, I have no idea if this helps anyone.

But, maybe someone needed to hear it…

If you’re that person, and if you want to learn how to write emails that make sales (whether for your own products or for clients — or to make yourself more attractive to would-be clients by offering this precious skill) then check out my “Email Players” newsletter.

It won’t teach you how to get paid by deadbeat clients.

But, it will show you how to write emails people love reading and buying from.

Here’s where to subscribe:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

The following question came in from Sunday’s call for podcast questions:

i’m wondering if el benbo has ever considered a waiting list for his email players newsletter like kevin rodgers does with his thing.

i’m wondering if el benbo thinks there are any benefits to limiting enrollment into his subscription newsletter.

is this something he’s considered but ruled out as a business strategy for what he wants to do?

what are the drawbacks?

really curious what his thoughts are on this kind of “close the cart” steategy?

I can’t speak for anyone else.

But, for my business model and goals, it ain’t happening. What good does it do my market to not give them the opportunity to buy? To not be able to start writing emails that make them more sales? To not help make them more successful? Not letting them buy would be incredibly selfish. So I wouldn’t do it for that reason alone.

Now, let me contradict myself:

(I’m good at that)

I *will* create a waiting list after reaching a certain number of subscribers.

Why?

Because it would be too much of a pain in the arse to manage too many subscribers without hiring an Irma (i.e. assistant) to help me, which I don’t want to do. I like being a one-man band — shrieks from the masses that it’s better to have a team and employees, and even a VA, etc notwithstanding. I like my business and life how it is. And, if it stopped being fun because, for example, I’m dealing with too many subscribers asking me questions by email (one of the perks of being an “Email Players” subscriber) that could cause a hit in the quality and enjoyment of my work.

And daddy doesn’t want that…

I’m not saying people with waiting lists are right or wrong.

People should do whatever works for them.

And, I will do what works for me.

Anyway, if you want to subscribe to “Email Players” the doors aren’t closing any time soon. But, the opportoonity to get the July issue before it mails closes next week.

Subscription info here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

“Email Players” subscriber Alejandro C. ask about fast writing:

“Do you now what I’d pay for? A crash course on getting faster my email writing efforts. It often takes me up to an hour to get an email done: editing and sending included. Sometimes more.”

My command is your wish.

Checky:

I once read an interview with Neil Gaiman who is easily one of the world’s most respected and prolific writers (comic books, novels, short stories, screenplays, etc). He said his high school guidance counselor asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. Neil told him he wanted to write American comic books. When he realized school was all but useless for this, he decided to start working in publishing to get experience writing. So he got on the phone, and by the end of the day sold two newspaper articles he hadn’t yet written.

Then, he said:

(Paraphrased)

“It’s good for any would-be writer to write a couple hundred thousands words under tight deadlines”

More:

At the end of 2010 (the week between Christmas and New Years) I made a goal to be client-free by the end of 2011. The first thing I tried was creating a small info publishing business based heavily on SEO that required me writing over 1,000 ezine articles, 400 hundred or so unique blog posts, and about 90 or so email auto-responder messages. Plus, I was writing all the emails and copy on retainer for a biz-opp company, I was also writing my own daily emails, writing my old monthly Crypto Marketing Newsletter, and some other things.

For a month and a half I barely slept.

I wrote morning, noon, and night.

And, while that business flopped (Google decided to slap article directories right when sales were starting to come in — Yay!), on a scale of 1-10 my writing speed went to 12.

Thus, the free secret to fast writing:

Writing lots of words under intense deadline pressure.

It ain’t secksy, but it’s got teeth.

Just like everything I teach in “Email Players”, not-so-coincidentally.

For more on that, hop on over to this link:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Not long ago James Altucher wrote an email about 30-day challenges.

Everyone’s got a 30-day challenge these days.

(Even Yours Unruly, in my “Email Players Playbook” which comes with your “Email Players” subscription.)

Anyway, it was an interesting list.

A couple of the things on his list I’ll never do.

Like, for example, live only in Airbnbs for 30 days.

I’d rather be *waterboarded* than stay in an Airbnb.

But, the list was overall thought-provoking and one of the things he said is perfect for anyone who wants to get faster at writing emails, and be able to pound them out without struggling, squirming, or wriggling in your seat trying to think up ideas.

And, that idea was:

Write down 10 ideas a day for 30 days.

He equates it to exercising your idea muscles, like any other muscle.

And, yes, I completely agree.

In fact, I have been doing something similar — not as part of a challenge, but just as a result of having lots of ideas — for years. I have a folder on my hard drive with some 2,000 various email ideas/subject lines/themes/offers. And, I’m always adding to it. Whenever I am away from my computer and get an idea, I simply whip out my phone and email the idea to myself (yes, I realize there are things like evernote or whatever, but this is what works for me).

The result?

I don’t really worry about what to write about.

I simply open the folder, take a gander, and pick whatever’s interesting.

Anyway, end of PSA.

Of course, ideas don’t equal sales.

The next step is knowing how to turn those ideas into emails.

Enter the “Email Players” newsletter.

It’s pricey.

It’s for people who have the attention span to read 16 pages per month and *implement*. (Amusingly, most people don’t have that, which is why there’s no real “competition” out there for my boys and ghouls who use my system.)

And, the July issue goes to the printer in 11 days.

One of the lessons inside is (ironically) about getting ideas.

Especially when, you have writers block or don’t know what to say, staring at that terrifying blank screen and blinking cursor when you have to write an ad, email, script, whatever.

Anyway, here’s where to subscribe to get it in time:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

I recently saw a program showing white people how to heal from our toxic whiteness.

No, it wasn’t on The Onion.

Or, on any fake news site.

This is a real program for sale gringos like Yours Unruly can buy to help overcome the deeply embedded, inherent racism that exists in the over privileged white man’s psyche in 21st century America.

According to the pitch the girls putting it together have:

“Trump’s presidency has…revealed what many people of color have known and been naming for generations – that the US has deeply normalized white supremacy and is built on a foundation of systemic oppression.”

Ooh yeah, baby!

They even used the term “people of color” and everything — where do I sign up?

Anyway, we had a good cry and a held candle light vigil in the group over it.

And, you don’t have to worry:

We learned the evils of our ways…

It also got me to thinking about dorky labels in general.

There’s no shortage of people going around trying to label their competitors with idiotic names and accusations to bring them down, hurt their reputations, even put them out of business. I’ve seen it happen many times, including to people I know.

If it happens to you, don’t even fret my little droogie.

Daily emails are the ultimate response.

Someone accuse you of being something you’re not or doing something you didn’t do?

Great!

They just gave you a *gift*.

Write an email about it setting the record straight.

And, yes, while also selling your product.

There’s no reason not to profit from your toxic whateverness.

And guess what?

With my Email Players newsletter it’s ridiculously easy, too.

And, a helluva lot of fun.

It’s one reason I don’t fear trolls, I welcome them.

They’re like my unofficial marketing “interns.”

Anyway, more about my newsletter here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Self-professed feminist tree-hugger and indie artist Ali Handal — who has written music for hit TV shows and films like Sex in the City and Dawson’s Creek reluctantly declares:

… your medicine is helping me develop a thicker skin…it seems the more successful I become, the more haters I experience online. but I’m getting more comfortable with people not liking me all of the time, which helps me be bolder with my marketing (like emailing people way more often than most other musicians dare to email their lists).

so…thank you? 😉

who knows, someday I may even be able to afford to get myself one of those crystal money bras!! WOOHOO!

The good news for her?

If she keeps sticking around taking the Medicine each day, we can cure her of her wicked ways…

Until then?

Developing a thicker skin (which my email system basically does for you by default) will make you stand out in your market and niche from all the mush-cookies terrified of any kind of controversy, mailing more than once per month, or even simply speaking their minds about something important.

The result?

More peace of mind.

More fun (for you and your readers).

And, yes, more sales.

To learn my system for doing this, go ye here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

A reader writes in:

Long time reader/listener Ben. Please leave my last name out of this if you quote me. But I think I owe you some email fodder after all the great content you’ve given me.

I do email marketing for a financial company.

Can I just say that split testing is mostly BS?

I looked back at 50+ split tests of email subject lines, images, link types, etc.

And in only 3 of them was there a meaningful difference in open and click rates.

It makes me think that people who go crazy testing “sign up” vs “register” are wasting their time.

And when I look at revenues, you know which emails worked?

The ones that offer good products from a trusted source at a reasonable price.

Everything else is nonsense.

When you split test dog sh*t, you just get 2 piles of dog shit.

There are many reasons why I will never be “mainstream” in Internet marketing.

One of which is my indifference to testing emails.

I don’t screw around with HTML, or using templates, or images/pictures, or inserting hyper links into words, or split testing subject lines against each other, or any of that.

I simply write, and send, and sales show up.

Takes maybe 10-15 minutes on average.

Would I make more sales doing the above things?

Maybe, but probably not.

Even back in my client work days, making my emails look plain text — like they are coming from a friend at a glance — worked better than all the bells and whistles.

More:

Every computer scientist and engineer I’ve asked about this (i.e. people who know how much discipline and patience it takes to do a for real scientific test) has told me the pointlessness of testing open rates as any kind of indication of sales.

It can be useful for other things.

(Testing the health of your list, seeing if you’re on any spam black lists, making sure gmail users are getting your emails, testing product titles, etc).

But, for keeping track of actual sales?

I say thee nay, Mortal.

That’s not to say you should or shouldn’t.

Do whatever you must.

But, in my way of thinking, it’s far more important to be grounded in the principles of direct response and copywriting first, and in all the high tech and new ways to split test or whatever second.

For example:

I remember when the Obama people revealed their campaign (2008) email tests.

It was amusing to read.

Why?

Because while they brought in something like $600 million in donations using email (far more than they did with social media, contrary to public social media goo-roo opinion), they could have saved a lot of time and money and energy by simply bringing people who already knew the basics of direct response marketing to do the emails, instead of bringing in people who had to “test” their way into learning even the most basic ideas I teach in my “Email Players Playbook” and newsletter.

I reckon they’d have brought in a helluva lot more, too.

Ah well.

This testing indifference gets me mocked in the IM community.

And, that’s okay.

I accept being the skid-mark on the underwear of email marketing.

It’s quite profitable.

And, has been quite profitable for my student’s too.

More on my newsletter here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle