Ben Settle

  • Novelist
  • Anti-professional
  • Author
  • Email Specialist

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Your Daily Email Addiction

File under: Email Marketing

A sob sister takes exception to my subject line last month:

“How a spelling Nazi won a $10k affiliate contest with a dinky list and only 10 emails”

She laments:

“I love reading your emails, but your subject line is very offensive.. Really? You had to use the word, “NAZI”???? Come on, Ben… Why? Why can’t you just set the example and show respect? Very disappointing… Especially because nowadays there’s so much hate and offensive comments towards Jewish people and other minorities. Every day there’s a new story related to hatred, did you even know that? Why use that word? WHY? SMH…”

[Shuffles off to slip into my comfy red kay-kay-kay grand pewba robe]

Okay, so spelling nazi is off limits.

What about spelling fascist? Millennials who don’t even know what it means (while running around in the streets after school with masks on behaving like them) throw that one around a lot.

Or maybe spelling bolshevik?

No?

Then how about spelling feminist???

Can I at least use that?

Anyway, her rationalization hamster is *tremendous* — like it’s hopped up on cocaine, and its only existence is to amuse me. I can only imagine the candle light vigil she’d lead if she saw the soup nazi episode of “Seinfeld”…

All right, enough sob sister mockery for the soul.

On to the business:

The next issue of “Email Players” would horrify all the sob sisters on my list — especially the part where I reprint what a subscriber told me about how sending “fat shaming” (oh noes!) emails has increased his sales.

Here’s the link of pure evil:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

P.S. For the insanely literal readers who don’t understand satire or context… I don’t really own a red kay-kay-kay grand pewba robe. It’s gray. You know, like Gandalf’s…

  • Novelist
  • Anti-professional
  • Author
  • Email Specialist

PO Box 2058 | Bandon, OR 97411, United States | (815) 425-4483 | ben@bensettle.com

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