Ben Settle

  • Novelist
  • Anti-professional
  • Author
  • Email Specialist

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Last week on Flakebook, I read about how the original purpose of the board game Monopoly was supposed to show the evil’s of capitalists.

(Which, of course, completely backfired)

And it got me to thinking:

I want to play the communist version of Monopoly.

Let’s call it Commopoly.

(Not to be confused with the sanitized commie version of Monopoly from 2004 “Commonopoly.”)

My version includes everyone having to work as a team, redistributing their properties and money to the less fortunate players, with the goal to be for everyone having the exact same number of properties and amount of money at the end of the game. But, to keep it authentic, there’d also have to be a sort of Head Bolshevik policing everyone (oftentimes in secret), seizing the best properties for himself and periodically taking 90%+ or more of everyone’s money, food, and assets, while also punishing anyone who complains or doesn’t comply with hard jail time, gulag work, or death by gun barrel or starvation, while smothering their dead bodies in lime. It could then be designed and marketed (using capitalism, of course) specifically to bored middle & upper class millennials who either still live off their parents’ teets or have just taken out fat student loans.

Why sell it to millennials?

Because according to the Washington Times, a recent poll said the majority of millennials would prefer to live in a socialist or communist rather than a capitalistic one.

Not that you need a poll to know that.

Just observe what they buy.

(i.e. who they vote for).

All of which works out perfectly for me.

Why?

Because like my communist leader predecessors, I’ll need some Useful Idiots to help sell it. And, since people tend to prefer to buy from their own, it could be sold like a communist MLM — where buyers go forth to their friends still living in their moms’ basements watching pourno and eating Cheetos in front of their Che Guevara posters and iPhones, preaching about burning down the system. If we make it a multi-player online game, as my pal Shane Hunter pointed out, we wouldn’t need to produce any boards or pieces — just cover the costs of servers, tech, etc.

A silly idea, you say?

We’ll see…

Until we get the kinks worked out, I’ll stick with my usual business plan:

  • Sending traffic to a capture page
  • Sending those leads relentless daily emails (using my “Email Players” methodology) directing them to a sales page until they buy or opt out
  • Then selling the buyers other products or services

Not as secksy as Commopoly.

But it’s simple.

It works.

And, you can learn the email part of the equation here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

  • Novelist
  • Anti-professional
  • Author
  • Email Specialist

PO Box 2058 | Bandon, OR 97411, United States | (815) 425-4483 | ben@bensettle.com

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