Ben Settle

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“I am a monster and I’ve done bad. I’ve done things you can’t even imagine. Horrible, evil, messy things. And I’ve loved every damn minute!”

— Crowley
King of the Crossroads/King of Hell

I’ve decided to make October:

“Crowley Month”

Crowley being the King of Hell/King of the Crossroads (the #1 crossroads demon salesman who sells people their greatest desires in exchange for collecting their souls in 10 years) from the hit TV show “Supernatural”.

Anyway, I’ll be talking about him a lot this month.

And, he is easily one of my all-time favorite TV characters.

In fact, there are many business lessons he teaches.

For example:

  • Master salesmanship — Drawing upon the same persuasion methodology used by the late Bernard Baruch (called “The Most Persuasive Man Of The 20th Century according to the great Gary Bencivenga) — Crowley finds out what people want, and shows them how to get it, and does it in such a way that he bypasses all reason, rationality, and, yes, even price resistance. (i.e. whatever they want in exchange for their souls)
  • Branding — Crowley drinks his alcoholic beverage of choice out of a glass with an umbrella and a devil’s pitchfork, and the number 666 and a devil emoticon pops up on the phones of people he calls.
  • Ambition — In the span of 300 years… from his mortal death to his soul burning in hell, to it being twisted into a demon, Crowley rose up through the ranks to be the top crossroads demon salesman (and king). Then, later, he seized the title of King of Hell as soon as the position opened. Considering there must be demons with hundreds, if not thousands, of years of more experience being a demon than him, that’s no small feat…
  • Diligence — You could say he’s also the King of Gary Halbert’s “Operation Moneysuck” — as he does only the tasks only he can do, while delegating the rest to his minions and, in some cases (without them knowing) his enemies.
  • Integrity — His love of loopholes notwithstanding, Crowley is also the King of Consumer Confidence, making sure his crossroads demons hold up their bargains with mortals, and severely torturing those who don’t. After all, if word got out that the crossroads demons were reneging on their deals, why would any humans even entertain the idea of doing business with them?
  • Loyalty — Crowley is loyal to a fault to his joint venture business partners (and even his treacherous witch mother who tries to use, manipulate, and eventually kill him), even as their moronic incompetence and bad decisions put his own operations and machinations in peril.
  • Visionary — Crowley’s first act as King of Hell was to upgrade hell — including turning it from a torture chamber to an endless waiting line souls never get to the front of for eternity. Although that later gets tossed to the side, the fact he was thinking that far outside the box is impressive, to say the least.

Crowley has many more valuable business attributes.

But, that doesn’t mean he’s without his flaws.

Like, for example, he sometimes shows very little patience.

Especially for a king.

And, frankly, that’s why it’s such a pity our postal workers are such poosies they won’t grant my request to deliver a signed copy of my “Persuasion Secrets Of The World’s Most Charismatic & Influential Villains” book to him in hell, in his throne room.

One of the big lessons inside is about Patience.

How it’s more rare than gold and a million times more valuable.

You, on the other hand, can read it, my little Minion.

Not only is it inexpensive, but it can be read in one sitting, and has gotten rave reviews not only on Amazon, but also from people like the Founding Father of Internet marketing as we know it — Ken McCarthy, who all pretty much say the same thing:

It’s the book they wish someone had handed them in their yutes.

One guy I know (who asked I don’t reveal his name for obvious reasons, but many an Internet marketer knows him) told me it even helped him pick up a hot chick he’d just met.

He simply handed the book to her and said:

“I do everything this guy talks about in here”

(Something like that, but that was the gist)

Again, I’ll be writing a lot more about Crowley this month.

In the meantime, check out my Villains book here:

Ben Settle

  • Novelist
  • Anti-professional
  • Author
  • Email Specialist

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