Got an interesting (and timely) question today.
If you do any email marketing, you may find it helpful:
QUESTION: Do you ever get a lot of flack when you write controversial things on your blog and in your emails? I think it is great even when I disagree with you but I would be afraid of attracting the wrong kind of attention. However, in my niche I think it would do very well.
What are your thoughts on this matter?
BEN: Yes, I get “flack” — and often.
In fact, I’ve been hearing from all kinds of weirdos lately.
Take for example, last weekend.
Some dude took exception (and that’s putting it mildly) with one of my emails. Was REALLY angry about it. Kept sending me these inane, rambling emails and blog comments yammering on and on — never getting to the point, just accusing, finger-pointing and making all kinds of personal attacks.
(My blog’s spam filter even ate one of his comments. Which tells you something about what he might have been saying…)
Anyway, it was actually kinda amusing at first.
But it got old pretty quick, and I just started deleting his emails and blog thread comments on sight — not even bothering to read ‘em.
And that’s what I recommend if that happens to you:
Simply delete, ignore, and remove their names from your list.
And just realize controversy is definitely a double-edged sword.
It WILL get you attention — which is good.
But some of that attention is going to be from people who mindlessly hate everything about you for no reason.
You can’t talk to people like that. And they never listen — so responding is a complete waste of time.
But you know what?
It’s GOOD when that happens.
For one thing, it means you’re probably doing something right.
And it also makes you appreciate the sane people even more 
Ben Settle
P.S. I’m releasing The Copywriting Grab Bag tomorrow.
If you are on the discount notification list, I’ll be sending you an email with a special coupon code good for 24 hours:
{ 5 comments }
Gotta agree with ya there Ben.
When those angry people respond in comment threads on the blog, i try and be happy instead of hurt. If i exercise a little self control and don’t respond, those haters end up getting bashed by the others.
Also it seems that if you write something good, it’s bound to be controversial. People are going to get emotional when they respond (positively or negatively). And this is good because it means people come back to check on the responses others gave to their input.
As for hate emails, dude that’s just not on. I agree deleting is the best policy. I think it makes them more mad to realise that their email isn’t being read! ha!
jim
Hey Jim,
I have to admit, sometimes I take great… pleasure… in deleting some peoples’ mindless ranting emails — knowing full well they probably spent a bunch of time and energy on it.
I think you’re right, that’s gotta suck for them when we don’t respond and participate in their pissing matches — HA!
Ben
Hi Ben,
I forgot who say this – “If You Are Not Offending Anyone, You Are Not Marketing Hard Enough !” Seriously what you say is really true, I mean there are people who just doesn’t like you, and recently I just been accused by a social website call “Multiply” as a spammer, for no sane reason whatsoever, and you know what, the admin spam my comment post in my profile telling not to spam and more and all kinds of warning…
Ah… I just deleted my account and my friends say, “what a moron admin !”
The Bad Blogger
Yea Ben,
I’ve got about 75 short medicine videos on YouTube and learned very quickly to control the comments. I get “crazies” daily calling me all kinds of names for providing simple and helpful information. After a while you learn to not let it bother you. The latest guy has called me “Pharma Murder” on every one of my videos. Must have taken him a long time to do that down in his parent’s basement. I just delete them.
West
Hey Ben,
I think it was Abraham Maslow who said “Great achievers have become independent of the good opinion of others.”
When we put ourselves in front of people and take on a position of authority it’s in our best interest to dispense gold stars. Not seek them from others.
Actually in any aspect of your life you’re asking for a horrid existence if you are constantly seeking the approval of every person you interact with. Especially if your exposure is deep and wide.
One of the finest programs I’ve ever encountered that helped me chip away at the inner desire to adhere to the “good opinion of others” is The Sedona Method.
The philosophy professed here has transformed the way I live my life. It’s taken me from inner turmoil all the time; to inner peace whenever I choose. One of the most critical problems this way of thinking resolves is your desire for approval.
The Method was developed by a man named Lester Levenson. He is no longer alive and two men who were close to him have started separate companies teaching this to people.
If you google Sedona Method, you’ll find a Hale Dwoskin’s site. My dad has fallen head over heals in love with the Sedona Method but when I played this guys CD’s for him he had a hard time getting over, how shall I say, the lack of testosterone in the guys voice.
So, I played Larry Crane’s (google Release Technique), the strong voiced New Yorker, teaching this system, and he clicked right away with him.
Both of these guys basically teach the same thing but expose their unique client experiences and metaphors to you. I’ve listened to hours and hours of both of them and can assert they both are great.
If the feeling of tension you get in your chest and stomach persists and causes you any kind of stress whenever you sense someone doesn’t like you, I highly suggest you snag a program from either of these guys.
You’ll be grateful you did.
Talk to you soon Ben,
Note Taking Nerd #2
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