The 7 Rules Of “Marketing Zombieland”

by Ben Settle

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Finally saw the movie “Zombieland” Friday.

Awesome movie — one of my all time favorites.

It’s about how almost everyone in the world has turned into vicious, man-eating zombies. And one of the plot gimmicks is a series of rules one of the survivors follows to avoid becoming “zombie chow.”

And guess what?

It’s uncanny how many zombieland “rules” apply to marketing.

For example…

1. Cardio

People who’re out of shape are caught and eaten first in zombieland (I guess they’re “low hanging fruit”). That’s how it is in marketing zombieland as well — people in good shape have more energy and “mental toughness.” Both VERY useful in business.

2. Beware Of Bathrooms

Those sneaky zombies cleverly attack people when most vulnerable (i.e. when on the “can”). You gotta beware of bathrooms in marketing zombieland, too. If there’s no marketing/business related book or magazine to read while in the john, you’ll miss out on a prime opportoonity to get your learn on.

3. Know Your Way Out

To avoid being eaten in zombieland, you always need a backup escape plan from any room. And so it is in marketing zombieland. Like it says in “The 7 Habits Of Highly Successful People” — begin every venture with the end in mind.

4. Limber Up

Being “loose” and ready in zombieland is mandatory for survival. And it’s equally important in marketing zombieland. Mucho profits are made from being flexible enough to test bold ideas, break “rules” and ignore the crowd.

5. Check The Backseat

Vicious zombies love hiding out in your car’s back seat in zombieland. We got some of that in business, too (yes, corporate espionage IS real). Always double check who has access to your passwords and customer list.

6. Enjoy The Little Things

Staying sane in zombieland means savoring the “little things” (like twinkies, for example). And so it is in marketing zombieland. Sally forth and regularly have some fun. Otherwise you’ll turn into a burnout “zombie” yourself and make everyone around you miserable.

And finally… a rule not in the movie (but should be)…

7. Never Eat Meat While Watching Zombieland

Trust me (from personal experience), it’ll GROSS you out.

(Try eating a twinkie instead.)

Awright, that’s a wrap for today.

For 101 more ways to survive marketing zombieland, check out:

Ben Settle

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