There’s been disturbance in the Force.
Apparently, I have a new enemy.
Basically, he subscribed to “Email Players”, and quit in less than a month.
Then, he asked:
“Hi Ben – I really enjoy getting your emails. Is there a secret architecture behind your best performing emails? Like a list of ‘ingredients’ you employ that ticks all the boxes for someone to buy? Or can you recommend a book on the subject? Obviously you would probably have this in a back issue of one of your newsletters – if so let me know which one and I will get a copy.”
The “Email Players Playbook” he got with his subscription showed him exactly what he wanted.
I already gave him the “architecture” of what I do.
I already showed him the “boxes” to tick.
I already showed him the “ingredients”.
If he was too busy or whatever not to read the book, or too drunk on the goo-roo fanboy kool-aid to understand the value in what he was reading, there isn’t any back issue I have that is going to magically give him what he’s looking for.
Anyway, not wanting an opportoonity to go to waste, I decided to bait him a bit.
So here’s what happened:
elBENBO: I don’t sell back issues to non Email Players subscribers or let people back in once they quit. So I suppose the answer is yes, but no.
CLARKIE: Ive unsubscribed. You’re a real piece of shit mate
Followed by some more pleasantries (after, admittedly, I egged him on for my amusement) like “you’re pathetic” and being called “dickhead”, etc.
My boy Clarkie reminds me of a guy who hits on a girl, then she says she’s not interested, and then he gets needy and angry and starts hurling insults at her. I can only imagine what kind of nightmare customer he’d be. He should be happy though, since I did him a favor (and saved him money) by not letting him buy anything else. After all, if he didn’t do anything with the information he had already gotten, he would have just wasted his money on any back issues (which I don’t sell on the regular anymore, anyway).
Lots of lessons embedded in this email.
I hope you caught them all.
Anyway, if you’re not the butt-hurt type, “Email Players” may be for you.
It’s certainly not for the Clarkie’s of the world.
The only way to find out is to subscribe and see.
Here’s the link:
P.S. Shortly after writing the first draft of this email, he sends me this beauty:
“I am going to put you out of business. That’s my ‘mission’ Your content is shite. Will be so easy. You’ve made an enemy today. Game on dickhead”
First, he likes my content enough to buy more.
Then it’s “shite” because he can’t have it.
Like I said, this is *exactly* how nice guys and self-described male feminists wearing vagina hats and Hillary For President pins to virtue signal around girls, and who then get spurned, behave. Which is timely, because the February “Email Players” issue is about how guys can avoid turning into needy and bitter sad sacks like this, have more control over their emotions, and not only do better with clients and customers to make more sales, but also with chicks.