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Once upon a time I had an ad critiqued by one of the world’s few copywriting geniuses.
Not a freelance copywriter.
But someone who makes millions writing ads only for his own products and services.
In other words, someone who really does work without a net — and who doesn’t have the luxury of a fat copywriting fee to fall back on if his ads fail.
Anyway, after reading my sales letter he said something I’ll never forget.
Something brilliant and simple that completely changed the way I wrote my copy.
He said (paraphrased):
“This letter has a lot of original thinking in it. It has a great story. And it looks fascinating. However, it reads like a sales letter — and that’s its downfall. Write, don’t copywrite.”
So true.
So very, very true.
And I immediately removed all the “ad style” promises, ditched the flashy “National Enquirer-like” headline, stripped away the turn-of-phrases that impress other marketers and copywriters… and just told the story.
The result?
Instead of an ad that screamed “sales job!”, it said, “hey, I got some fascinating information about how to solve your problem. Wanna hear it?”
This is extremely important.
Because when you write your ads this way, instead of sounding like a used car salesman jacked up on hype and fake excitement, you sound like a regular person.
Someone people can relate to, bond with and believe in.
Frankly, when this is done right, you don’t feel like you’re even being “pitched.”
You feel like someone’s sharing interesting information with you that’s completely relevant to you and your problem.
Trust me, the difference — in both appearance and actual results — is night and day.
One person I showed some ads like this to said the effect, “is almost under radar.”
And that’s exactly right.
Of course, this is nothing new.
The late (and brilliant) copywriter Eugene Schwartz taught this publicly in a speech to Phillips Publishing:
“You are presenting a showcase for your product. Just like a store showcase on Fifth Avenue. You want the person to be able to look through the copy like the person is able to look through the glass in the showcase and see the product inside. If that glass becomes dirty, reflective, or calls attention to itself in any way, you have failed.”
Powerful advice, isn’t it?
And yet, I doubt one copywriter in ten really does this — not even the ones who preach it to everyone they talk to.
Anyway, here’s the bottom line:
The next time you’re tempted to mimic the “hype-and-scream” style of your competition… consider what the genius copywriter I mentioned earlier said:
{ 9 comments }
Good advice. When you tested the results how much different where they and what market was the copy for if you don’t mind sharing.
I agree completely and I’ve adopted this in my ads ever since it just kinda hit me.
One mistake rookie copywriters make who are trying to become pros is they try to be too concerned about “tricks” turns of phrase and style…which in the end defeat them.
Thats one of the ways the beginner who knows the extreme basics can beat one of these novices trying to become pro…the ultra-beginner is often more genuine in his ad while the novice thinks he has something to prove and tries hard to “impress” his peers.
Great stuff.
By the way Ben, you said in your email this way of thinking was worth its weight in gold…but since ideas have no mass… heh…just kidding.
Ben - Thanks for sharing your insight. I find it particularly helpful since I recently collaborated on the writing of such a letter. But it was the other guy who was great at sounding so genuine and conversational.
I think this is one reason I enjoy writing copy for myself. It’s easier to find my voice and be genuine.
Ian, it was a business to business ad. There was no test since I tossed the original hype-driven ad and rewrote it well before running it.
Ryan, you’re welcome. By the way, I heard the interview you did with John Anghelache for his upcoming freelance copywriter course — excellent stuff, dude.
Greg, I think you explained it better than I did!
Great post, Ben. The problem arises when writers try to emulate the form of successful promotions, but miss the substance.
Ryan — for the record, I’ve seen your copy and think you do a fine job of “writing, not copy writing”. Keep up the good work, both of you!
Great advice. Thanks for reminding us ? one can get carried away!
i think it’s important for the sales letter to speak to the target audience in a way that is believable and ‘not in your face’.
If you manage that AND manage to pull in leads/sales, then you are one heck of a copywriter’s writer!
Tracey
Dear Ben,
I’m surprised you actually responded but thank you. No one really talks about being genuine and yes the copywriting field is just like most ad agencies, being that they want to impress the “top dogs” but impressing them is not important, the results will impress them and most of them are behind in many marketing strategies as well.
But thanks Ben!
P.S. To everyone else, you made very good points. Has anyone tested mailing a dvd with their sales letter or message?
Thanks Ben,
You just helped me at the perfect time!
Troy
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