Hello boys and ghouls…<\/p>\n
Been getting mucho requests to do another “marketing monsters” email and so, dang nab it, I’m gonna do it.<\/p>\n
Got a couple really nasty<\/em> ones for ya, too.<\/p>\n The kind that’ll give you nightmares and have you screaming<\/em> for your mama (or your lawyer) in the middle of the night.<\/p>\n Ready?<\/p>\n Okay then… here. we. go —<\/p>\n Hell Hound Lawyers<\/strong> <\/p>\n These vicious beasts foam blood<\/em> at the mouth and have no soul. <\/p>\n They do truly nasty things, too — like seek out deals to kill… drag innocent people through frivolous litigation to take as much moolah as they can… and sometimes even defend the other<\/em> marketing monsters who have attacked **you**!<\/p>\n These killer canines are cunning and vicious.<\/p>\n Often the only way to beat ’em is with your OWN<\/strong> hellhound lawyer.<\/p>\n Pray one never catches your “scent.”<\/p>\n Government Bureaucrat Boogeymen<\/strong> <\/p>\n Just like the hell hound lawyers, these things lack a conscience.<\/p>\n They love to sneak into your personal life, your private records and even your bank accounts<\/em>… and take and use whatever they want for their own twisted ends.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, LOTS<\/strong> of these monsters roam the countryside. <\/p>\n With more and more created each day.<\/p>\n And the more successful you are, the greater the chances they’ll target you. So make sure you’re prepared. <\/p>\n They’re bite can literally murder<\/em> your business.<\/p>\n Copywriting Crypt Keeper<\/strong><\/p>\n This emaciated wretch is more a danger to himself than you.<\/p>\n He haunts the marketing graveyards constantly running ads that are lifeless, useless and don’t have an ice cube’s chance in hell of working.<\/p>\n His laugh is annoying and he stinks pretty bad. <\/p>\n But other than that, this shriveled up bag of skin is no threat.<\/p>\n Unless, of course, you copy & swipe his advertising.<\/p>\n OK, that’s all for now.<\/p>\n I have lots more marketing fiends to warn you of.<\/p>\n For now, sharpen your wits and arm yourself with the right weapons.<\/p>\n