{"id":2037,"date":"2009-05-19T15:22:43","date_gmt":"2009-05-19T15:22:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/?p=2037"},"modified":"2009-05-19T15:22:43","modified_gmt":"2009-05-19T15:22:43","slug":"old-farty-email-marketing-hecklers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/old-farty-email-marketing-hecklers\/","title":{"rendered":"Old Farty Email Marketing Hecklers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Been getting LOTS of <strong>email marketing<\/strong> questions.<\/p>\n<p>And today I figured I&#8217;d jump on my high horse and gallop on over to the computer to answer them. <\/p>\n<p>Ready?<\/p>\n<p><strong>QUESTION:<\/strong>  How long should my emails be?<\/p>\n<p><strong>BEN:<\/strong>  IMHO, emails should be like a woman&#8217;s skirt: <\/p>\n<p><em><strong><\/p>\n<div style=\"text-align: center;\">&#8220;Short enough to get your attention<br \/>\nbut long enough to cover the details.&#8221; \ud83d\ude09 <\/div>\n<p><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>So I shoot for 350-500 words. <\/p>\n<p>BUT&#8230; long ones can work like gangbusters, too.<\/p>\n<p>While back, I wrote an extremely long email about some people who tried to indoctrinate me into their weirdo cult.<\/p>\n<p>And you know what?<\/p>\n<p>Even though there was only one link (at the very bottom)&#8230; and had nothing to do with copywriting&#8230; it sold more <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.CopywritingGrabBag.com\">Copywriting Grab Bag<\/a><\/strong> books than most of the <em>shorter<\/em> ones.<\/p>\n<p>Interesting, eh?<\/p>\n<p><strong>QUESTION:<\/strong> How do you respond to angry and nasty emails? <\/p>\n<p><strong>BEN:<\/strong>  When the nitwits come a-knocking, do these two things:<\/p>\n<p>1. Delete &#8217;em.<br \/>\n2. Realize they&#8217;re losers &#8212; with a capital &#8220;L&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>They&#8217;re just like the two old guys in the balcony in The Muppets &#8212; always heckling everyone and spouting negativities.  <\/p>\n<p>But you know what?<\/p>\n<p>The farty old balcony muppets are at least <em>funny<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>The email hecklers are just <em>pathetic<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>QUESTION:<\/strong>  How often should I send emails?<\/p>\n<p><strong>BEN:<\/strong>  I&#8217;ve said it before, I&#8217;ll say it again:<\/p>\n<p>The more emails I send, the bigger and faster my list grows&#8230; the more new copywriting client inquiries I get&#8230; the more people buy my products&#8230; etc.<\/p>\n<p>But you have to know what you&#8217;re doing.<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s an art and science to email.  <\/p>\n<p>And like any <em>art<\/em>&#8230; the more you practice, the better you become. And like any <em>science<\/em>&#8230; the more you measure and test, the more predictable your results.<\/p>\n<p><strong>QUESTION:<\/strong>  How can I write riveting email copy?<\/p>\n<p><strong>BEN:<\/strong>  Write like you talk &#8212; warts and all.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, most marketers write dry, boring and (worst of all) &#8220;intellectual&#8221; emails.  Always trying to sound educated and &#8220;professional.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Bah!<\/p>\n<p>Screw all that.  <\/p>\n<p><strong>Have FUN with email. <\/strong> <\/p>\n<p>Loosen up, and don&#8217;t worry about offending the snobs, elitists and &#8220;PC police&#8221;.  Trust me, most people would MUCH rather hang with a regular person than some stuffy intellectual who uses a $5 word when a 5 cent word gets the job done.  <\/p>\n<p>Wouldn&#8217;t you?<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, email is a VERY cool thing.<\/p>\n<p>And if you know how to wield it &#8212; like an ancient samurai warrior wielding a katana blade &#8212; you&#8217;ll slice right through your competition and make out like a bandit.   <\/p>\n<p>In fact, eventually it&#8217;ll be like you&#8217;re the ONLY one people read.<\/p>\n<p>Because frankly, you WILL be the only one people read.<\/p>\n<p>Ben Settle<\/p>\n<p><strong>P.S<\/strong>. There&#8217;s an entire appendix about email marketing in <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.CopywritingGrabBag.com\">The Copywriting Grab Bag<\/a><\/strong> from email  &#8220;pioneer&#8221; Terry Dean &#8212; who was cranking out profitable emails before most of us were even on the Internet.  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Been getting LOTS of email marketing questions. And today I figured I&#8217;d jump on my high horse and gallop on over to the computer to answer them. Ready? QUESTION: How long should my emails be? BEN: IMHO, emails should be like a woman&#8217;s skirt: &#8220;Short enough to get your attention but long enough to cover [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,14],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-2037","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-copywriting-and-sales-letters","7":"category-sales-marketing"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2037","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2037"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2037\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2037"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2037"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2037"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}