Once upon a time I got to rapping with my droog Jim Yaghi about all the dorky jargon you see bandied about by goo-roo fanboys (and their masters in the goo-roo-hood). .<\/p>\n
Our favorite was:<\/p>\n
“Jedi mind trick”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n And how they think they’re “tricking” people into buying.<\/p>\n Anyone who actually knows how to SELL (and not just pitch) understands how idiotic that whole mindset is. How, for example, you can use things like the so-called “law of reciprocity” (i.e. supposedly where you give something away free, and your poor sucker customers will feel sooooo obligated then to buy from you…) to get a one time sale.<\/p>\n Maybe.<\/p>\n But even if you do, then what?<\/p>\n You think they’ll be back for more?<\/p>\n For a second sale?<\/p>\n (Where the REAL $$ is in marketing.)<\/p>\n I doubt it, Chewie.<\/p>\n Personally, I prefer doing things that are in harmony with human psychology and sound, principled thought.<\/p>\n Like, for example what I call:<\/p>\n “Repulsion Marketing”<\/strong><\/p>\n This is where I write emails that purposely REPEL people I don’t want buying by mocking them.<\/p>\n Kinda like this email is doing to goo-roo fanboys.<\/p>\n It’s no trick, babycakes.<\/p>\n I really DON’T want someone who brags about using “jedi mind tricks” on their list or whatever.<\/p>\n They’re the worst customers I’ve seen.<\/p>\n Frankly, they’re usually thieves and liars.<\/p>\n Who wants it?<\/p>\n Anyway, so that’s that.<\/p>\n Hey, want to make more sales?<\/p>\n Forget the jedi goo-roo tricks.<\/p>\n Instead try pissing someone off every day in your emails and watch what happens to your sales and the overall list quality.<\/p>\n It takes ballz.<\/p>\n And it may make you uncomfortable.<\/p>\n But only then, a jedi marketer will you be.<\/p>\n Begin your training here, padawan:<\/p>\n