{"id":6136,"date":"2014-07-15T06:30:09","date_gmt":"2014-07-15T13:30:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/?p=6136"},"modified":"2014-07-15T06:30:09","modified_gmt":"2014-07-15T13:30:09","slug":"adventures-make-goo-roo-fanboys-late-for-dinner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/adventures-make-goo-roo-fanboys-late-for-dinner\/","title":{"rendered":"Adventures Make Goo-roo Fanboys Late For Dinner"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In a hole in the ground there lived a goo-roo fanboy.<\/p>\n<p>Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat:<\/p>\n<p>It was his mom&#8217;s basement, and that meant&#8230; comfort.<\/p>\n<p>(Since he didn&#8217;t have to pay rent and ate for free each day.)<\/p>\n<p>It also meant, he was shielded from real life.<\/p>\n<p>So instead of going forth on adventures writing his own emails and ads and making mistakes and learning how to be a marketer the hard way (because, let&#8217;s face it, adventures make one late for dinner, and mom is making Lasagna tonight) he decided to copy and swipe and blindly follow the advice of his goo-roo heroes who told him he&#8217;d make a million dollars if he would just buy their dorky little eBook for $19 on ClickBank.<\/p>\n<p>The result?<\/p>\n<p>He never left his hole.<\/p>\n<p>He never even left his chair.<\/p>\n<p>(Except to get a refill on his big gulp and grab a new bag of Cheetos from 7\/11 down the street).<\/p>\n<p>Instead, he went and did what most other goo-roo fanboys do:<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">He decided he knew enough to make his own money-making eBook<\/span>.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>(Even though he hadn&#8217;t made any money.)<\/p>\n<p>And then proceeded on his quest to the Lonely Mountain of marketing &#8212;<\/p>\n<p>Battling people (and even other trolls like himself!) on forums who called him out on his BS and blatant spamming&#8230; struggling to keep people from leaving his list because he sounded like a wannabe of the goo-roo he was following&#8230; and never learning anything about real selling or how to build and maintain a relationship with his list.<\/p>\n<p>Within a year, he was broke.<\/p>\n<p>In two years he was hopelessly in debt.<\/p>\n<p>And in three years&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>He decided to tell anyone who would listen what a scam the entire direct marketing industry is.<\/p>\n<p>The end.<\/p>\n<p>Listen, amigo:<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t be like the goo-roo fanboy in the story above.<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t fall for lies and nonsense.<\/p>\n<p>If it sounds too good to be true, it is.<\/p>\n<p>If it smells like BS, it is.<\/p>\n<p>And if it feels like scum to the touch, it is.<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re gonna sell online, do it smart. Educate thyself. Learn how to discern the good from the bad. And master the fundamentals.<\/p>\n<p>For example:<\/p>\n<p>My hard teasing vs hard teaching philosophy.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve never taught it before.<\/p>\n<p>But, that changes in the August &#8220;Email Players&#8221; issue.<\/p>\n<p>Subscription info here:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.EmailPlayers.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>www.EmailPlayers.com <\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Ben Settle<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In a hole in the ground there lived a goo-roo fanboy. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: It was his mom&#8217;s basement, and that meant&#8230; comfort. (Since [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6136","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-email-marketing"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.9 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In a hole in the ground there lived a goo-roo fanboy. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: It was his mom&#039;s basement, and that meant... comfort. 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