{"id":8410,"date":"2014-04-12T07:00:06","date_gmt":"2014-04-12T14:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/?p=8410"},"modified":"2014-04-12T07:00:06","modified_gmt":"2014-04-12T14:00:06","slug":"59-ways-how-ill-make-you-as-happy-as-a-politician-in-a-brothel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/59-ways-how-ill-make-you-as-happy-as-a-politician-in-a-brothel\/","title":{"rendered":"59 Ways How I&#8217;ll Make You As Happy As A Politician In A Brothel"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Heads up:<\/p>\n<p>Tomorrow&#8217;s &#8220;Ben Settle Show&#8221; podcast is gonna show you how to do\u00a0your own podcast &#8212; including if you even *should* do one (Hint:\u00a0Most people shouldn&#8217;t) and the details on how it all works,\u00a0straight from the beady, rat-like mind of my producer Jonathan\u00a0Rivera.<\/p>\n<p>So watch for my signal tomorrow when it&#8217;s up.<\/p>\n<p>In the meantime&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Here are 59 happy tips we&#8217;ve shared on the show thus far:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>How to repulse people into buying from you.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Why being an ugly chick is like playing the dating game on hard mode (and some secret ways they can use to steal the highest value men from hotter women).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>The biggest difference between copywriting and creative writing.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>How chicks &#8220;trick&#8221; guys into pining for them (and how guys can &#8220;flip the script&#8221; and use their sneaky wiles against them &#8212; works for getting clients, too).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Why mush cookie marketers piss off their lists.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Why you shouldn&#8217;t put customers on a pedestal.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>The &#8220;gray hulk&#8221; secret to attracting a loyal and passionate customer base (works for emails, podcasts, videos and any other media you sell with).<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Why I&#8217;m such a jerk about doing joint ventures.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>How to generate thousands of dollars for a charity or cause using email (while growing your list and sales at the same time).<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Why you have a better chance of being healed by a medicine man shaman rattling a staff at the moon in the middle of the desert than the American medical system.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>The &#8220;counterintuitive&#8221; thing to say to clients to get higher fees.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>The &#8220;Heisenberg&#8221; secret to commanding respect from clients.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Why only a fool would not have a firearm near their bed (hint: Dan Gallapoo and his wife recently woke up to an intruder standing over their bed&#8230; if he hadn&#8217;t had a shot gun nearby&#8230;)<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>How to protect yourself from losing your merchant account.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>A world-class sales trainer&#8217;s secret for winning negotiations.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>How many people have tried to kill Dan Gallapoo (as he says, &#8220;it&#8217;s not paranoia, it&#8217;s preparation&#8221;).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>A &#8220;magic email message&#8221; that gets 9 out of 10 women to respond from online dating sites.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>The single best way ever invented to put a rude woman in her place on a date. (Works even better for putting rude clients and customers in their place, too&#8230;)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>How to get chicks to do what you say without having to whack them over the head with a club like a caveman.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>The only 2 things a woman has to do to keep a man. (Ladies, y&#8217;awl can throw out all the idiotic relationship advice on Oprah or Cosmo Magazine &#8212; just do these two things and he ain&#8217;t goin&#8217; nowhere.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>The world&#8217;s &#8220;most feared negotiator&#8217;s&#8221; secret for attracting (and keeping) women.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>The &#8220;for real&#8221; mark of a strong, independent woman. (Nothing to do with having a fat masters degree or a 50+ hour per week job working for another man&#8230; just see if she does this, and if she does, she&#8217;s a keeper.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Why super hot chicks are often not worth the effort. (Sorry hotties, but y&#8217;awl got nobody to blame but yourselves &#8212; and happily married producer Jonathan reveals why.)<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>What a &#8220;shit test&#8221; is&#8230; why chicks are always doing this to guys&#8230; and how to turn those tests into red hot attraction for you.(Assuming you want to put up with their nonsense and not just find a better and hotter woman with class who won&#8217;t try to test you all the time.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>A &#8220;jedi mind trick&#8221; for repelling dangerous psycho chicks and diffusing the shit testing women.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>The exact personality type that is ripe for being fleeced by sociopaths and other &#8220;unsavory&#8221; characters &amp; scams. (Hint: A LOT of people have this personality &#8212; chances are you do, too&#8230;)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>15 ways to identify a sociopath.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Approximately how many people are sociopaths.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>What fields and professions sociopaths are &#8220;drawn&#8221; to (and yep, Internet marketing is like a nest of sociopaths).<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>3 words (used by newbies and goo-roos) that are a big red flag you&#8217;re about to be pitched bullshit.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Why so many girls tend to fall hard for sociopaths.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Why good people running for office get butchered by the media while the sociopaths skate free and make it to the top.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Why I am starting to think all web designers are sociopaths (okay, I&#8217;m joking&#8230; sort of&#8230;)<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Why Americans are so gullible.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Why I believe our financial system will collapse in the near future, and a badass &#8220;model citizen&#8221; (you can find him on Facebook) to study if you want to be prepared.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Why I don&#8217;t trust social proof.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Why guys should never let a girl &#8220;friend zone&#8221; them.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Why NLP is nonsense.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Why I don&#8217;t believe in business and marketing coaching.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>Why my deranged &#8220;Zombie Cop&#8221; novel will sell more copies of my &#8220;Christian Business Secrets&#8221; book<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>A writing trick I use to boost my creativity, have more physical energy, be in better shape and write for longer periods of time without fatigue<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>How to &#8220;root out&#8221; all the weird stuff in your subconscious (which often translates to making more sales from your emails and ads)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>A reliable &#8220;acid test&#8221; that tells you whether you should cut something out when editing any kind of writing you do<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>The Dean Koontz secret to fast pressure-free writing<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>The most important part of your novel for making the maximum amount of sales<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>How to pre-launch fiction (using a secret the world&#8217;s greatest living copywriter discovered when he was young, about to lose his job, and HAD to write an ad that worked or he&#8217;d be canned. And, yes, this works for non-fiction, too&#8230;)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>A secret &#8220;power editing&#8221; secret for having the tightest, easiest-to-read writing (works with fiction and non-fiction)<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>The one time entertaining emails won&#8217;t works<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>A small tweak that can turn even boring &#8220;plain vanilla&#8221; emails into fascinating and persuasive emails that nab lots of sales<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>How to write a 1-star review. (Yes, my little droogie, I am going to show you how to write a 1-star review (for amazon, itunes, etc) &#8212; whether it&#8217;s to pan something I create or someone else. Most 1-star reviews sound either like trolls or just blatantly dishonest. If you want your little 1-star reviews to be taken seriously then check this episode out ASAP.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>How to make more profits by attracting less customers.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>The missing million-dollar ingredient practically every single direct marketer on the face of the earth lacks. (I learned this from the most underrated marketing mind on the Internet &#8212; it&#8217;s also used by Amazon, Apple, the Catholic Church, Hollywood studios and even airports, karate schools and every restaurant you&#8217;ll ever eat at.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>The easiest &amp; fastest way copywriters (even noobs) can get clients.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>The exact kind of chicks I&#8217;m attracted to (and why I gotta change this &#8212; STAT).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>The best way to get top-of-mind branding in your market. (You can forget all the silly little branding tips you&#8217;re hearing online &#8212; doing this costs you hardly anything, requires no outsourcing or complicated testing, and will do more for your &#8220;brand&#8221; than all the fancy tips and tricks taught online combined).<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>How to sell in a way people LIKE to buy from. (People not only don&#8217;t resent you for pitching your products, they practically thank you for it, and are eager to come back for more.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Why I don&#8217;t encourage people to buy &#8220;Email Players&#8221; before they&#8217;ve opted into my list.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>How to use Star Wars&#8217; marketing funnel to &#8220;pre sell&#8221; products you haven&#8217;t even created yet. (You can potentially presell a product 15+ years in advance using this powerful method.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>How to argue with a woman and win every time.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li>And much, much mo&#8217;&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>To get all these tips (free), listen to the interviews at:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.BenSettleShow.com\/itunes\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>www.BenSettleShow.com\/itunes<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Let&#8217;s get. it. awwwwn&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Ben Settle<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Heads up: Tomorrow&#8217;s &#8220;Ben Settle Show&#8221; podcast is gonna show you how to do\u00a0your own podcast &#8212; including if you even *should* do one (Hint:\u00a0Most people shouldn&#8217;t) and the details on how it all works,\u00a0straight from the beady, rat-like mind of my producer Jonathan\u00a0Rivera. So watch for my signal tomorrow when it&#8217;s up. In the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,9,14],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-8410","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-copywriting-and-sales-letters","7":"category-email-marketing","8":"category-sales-marketing"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8410","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8410"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8410\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8410"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8410"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bensettle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8410"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}