Dramatis personae:<\/p>\n
Yesterday I talked about a chick who wants to hire me to sell some\u00a0kind of hair washing product. But, I needed to gather a bunch of\u00a0references and, this was the kicker, I am to send her some issues\u00a0of my “Email Players” newsletter (you know, the one others pay for)\u00a0so she could get some “ideas.”<\/p>\n
At first, I thought it was a joke.<\/p>\n
Like I was on “Candid Camera”, or something.<\/p>\n
But no.<\/p>\n
It was real.<\/p>\n
And, she replied saying how my joke about raising and caring for\u00a0her bastard child while I’m at it wasn’t funny, and what about my\u00a0so-called love for everyone?<\/p>\n
She also insisted I reply fast, because she’s in a hurry.<\/p>\n
Oh, and I’d only get paid on commission.<\/p>\n
No upfront fees.<\/p>\n
Why?<\/p>\n
Because, and I quote:<\/p>\n
“This is only fair because if you’re advertisement does not work it\u00a0is really on you. This is totally fair.”<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Let’s have some more fun with this.<\/p>\n
Forget for a second I don’t even do client work.<\/p>\n
Forget for a second I never claimed to “love everyone.”<\/p>\n
Forget all that.<\/p>\n
Let’s talk about her silly little offer.<\/p>\n
I should only work on commission because it’s on me if her\u00a0unproven, untested, and uninteresting product fails.<\/p>\n
It’s also on me if her list is crap.<\/p>\n
If her offer sucks.<\/p>\n
And if her product ends up with zero demand.<\/p>\n
Sigh.<\/p>\n
It’s like when I once went 8 days without showering.<\/strong><\/p>\n
I thought I still smelled fresh<\/em>.<\/p>\n
But everyone else?<\/p>\n
Not so much.<\/p>\n
And that’s how it is with offers like this.<\/p>\n
It’s blatantly low class jackass and silly to everyone who hears\u00a0it. But the would-be clients who dream them up think they smell\u00a0fresh — and they’re doing people a favor.<\/p>\n
Amusing times.<\/p>\n
Anyway, enough comedy.<\/p>\n
On to bid’niz:<\/p>\n
Next “Email Players” issue has a bonus list building training —\u00a0specifically, about using contests to build lists.<\/p>\n
Fascinating stuff.<\/p>\n
And, not widely taught.<\/p>\n
Subscribe here to get it:<\/p>\n