Let me tell you a story.<\/p>\n
A few months ago, my ex-copywriting apprentice (why do I like using\u00a0that term so much? heh), accused me of being manipulative.\u00a0Not maliciously manipulative, though.\u00a0More like selfishly manipulative.<\/p>\n
And, when she said why she thought that, I had to agree.<\/p>\n
For example:<\/p>\n
We were hanging out with some friends (a married couple) and they\u00a0said they had to get going early. Now, I’m not Mr. Social by any\u00a0means. But, I do like to venture forth from the elBenbo Lair once\u00a0per week for a little… social interaction.<\/p>\n
And, when I do, I expect everyone else to follow suit.<\/p>\n
(It’s just how I be.)<\/p>\n
Thus, I decided I wasn’t going to let them go home.<\/p>\n
So I simply asked:<\/p>\n
“Why do you have to go? It’s only 5:00.”<\/p>\n
“We told our son we’d be home by 6.”<\/p>\n
Now, their son is 25 but autistic, so you can’t necessarily blame\u00a0them for wanting to go home. But, being the selfish little bastard\u00a0I am, I pressed on…<\/p>\n
“What happens if you don’t go home?”<\/p>\n
“…”<\/p>\n
There really was no answer.<\/p>\n
Fact is, their son would be fine.<\/p>\n
And they knew it.<\/p>\n
I simply used a question to give them a vision of what would happen\u00a0(i.e. nothing, he’d probably be watching TV). And thus, I gave them\u00a0another option for the evening, which they were free to accept or\u00a0reject of their own free will.<\/p>\n
All with one question.<\/p>\n
A question, apparently, I use a lot.<\/p>\n
(Without realizing I’m doing this.)<\/p>\n
In fact, my ex-copywriting apprentice says I do the same thing to\u00a0her and everyone else when I want to hang out with people —\u00a0despite them having more (so-called) important things to do. I say\u00a0something like, “What happens if you don’t go now?” or “What\u00a0happens if you reschedule your appointment for tomorrow instead,\u00a0and we go wine tasting today?” or “What happens if you go with me\u00a0to get some tasty buffalo wings instead of working on that job\u00a0right now?”<\/p>\n
And so on, and so forth.<\/p>\n
The answer is always the same:<\/p>\n
Nothing.<\/p>\n
Life will go on.<\/p>\n
I simply show them another option. (An option they prefer to the\u00a0alternative, which my question gives them an excuse to do.)<\/p>\n
The point?<\/p>\n
I don’t know what the point is.<\/p>\n
Except, when you want to manipu– er, I mean persuade someone to do\u00a0something, take a page out of the world’s most feared negotiator’s (Jim Camp) book and ask questions that show them another option.<\/p>\n
Don’t beg.<\/p>\n
Or con.<\/p>\n
Or lecture.<\/p>\n
Or plead.<\/p>\n
Ask.<\/p>\n
Speaking of which…<\/p>\n
The February “Email Players” issue is full of tips and advice for\u00a0being more persuasive (not just in emails, but in your personal\u00a0life) that are just as effective and, I suppose, unconventional as\u00a0the tip above.<\/p>\n
Where do you subscribe?<\/p>\n
I’m glad you asked.<\/p>\n
Go here:<\/p>\n