NOTE: The article below is by Ryan Healy, who is not only a good friend, but also happens to be one of my favorite copywriters to study and talk with. Let us know what you think in the “comments” section below…
Every time I critique an ad or sales letter, I see some of the same “amateur” mistakes repeated over and over again.
Heck, I used to make these same mistakes myself… even though I knew better!
You see, once you’re in the zone — and you sink into a deep writing trance — it’s easy to make these mistakes.
In fact, it’s actually good to make mistakes when you’re writing. That’s because you should “turn off” the critical side of your brain and just let the words flow.
The problem arises when you don’t go back to critique your ad and correct mistakes later.
With that in mind, let me share three amateur copywriting mistakes to look for in your own ads and sales letters.
Amateur Copywriting Mistake #1: Writing to a Crowd
When you’re selling a product through an ad, always write to an audience of one. This is hard at first because it’s easy to imagine “all the people” who will be reading your copy.
Resist this urge.
It’s me and you; not me and them.
When you re-read your ad, look for phrases like “you all”; “some of you”; “many of you”; etc.
These phrases imply you are talking to a large audience. Let me give you an example:
“Writing sales copy is not the easiest thing in the world. Many of you know what I’m talking about.”
See that phrase, “Many of you”? It shouldn’t be there.
So how do you “write around” this issue so that you’re only writing to one person? You can use what I call “assumptive writing.” Here’s what it looks like:
“If you’ve ever tried to write an ad, then you know how draining it can be.”
Here I’m still talking to one person. And I use an “if/then” statement to address my reader directly without making a false assumption. If my reader hasn’t written an ad, the word “if” will get him to imagine writing an ad… and then imagine how hard it is.
Another technique: Imagine writing a letter to your best friend. Visualize him or her in your mind’s eye. This will keep you from using awkward “crowd phrases” like “you all.”
Amateur Copywriting Mistake #2: Educating Your Prospect
It’s natural to want to educate your prospect into wanting your product or service. But let me tell you: It’s also a recipe for financial disaster.
You will never have enough money to educate people into buying from you. If the demand doesn’t already exist, you won’t be able to educate enough people to create that demand.
As you critique your copy, the question to ask yourself is: “Am I teaching or selling here?”
If you’re explaining why your prospect needs your product or service, you’re probably educating. And you need to change that copy or delete it altogether.
If you’re explaining the benefits of your product and how it will save your prospect time, money, etc, then you’re probably selling. And that’s a good thing!
Always remember: The purpose of your ad is to tap into the demand that already exists — not to create demand.
Amateur Copywriting Mistake #3: Not Telling Your Full Sales Message
When you’re writing an ad, it’s important that you deliver your complete sales message. Don’t hold back.
The common fear is that Mr. Prospect “will never read that much.”
Well, I’ve got news for you. If you’re interested in a subject — really interested — don’t you read everything you can get your hands on?
If you’re interested in copywriting, do you read only one copywriting blog? One copywriting book?
Of course not!
You buy two, three, four, even 10 books. You read dozens of blogs. And so forth.
The same is true for your prospect.
Two days ago, John left a comment on my blog saying as much: “When I get into a subject, I can easily buy 5 to 10 books if my interest persists.”
Somebody who buys 5-10 books on a single subject is not somebody who will shy away from reading a 10-page report or sales letter.
That’s why it’s so important that you tell your complete sales message.
I’ve sometimes purchased a product because of a single bullet point. And I bet you have to.
What if that bullet point had been cut in the interest of saving space or making the ad easier to read?
The advertiser would have lost the sale.
So: If you’re holding back, don’t. Make sure you say everything that needs to be said about your product or service.
How to Critique an Ad
These are not the only mistakes I see. They just happen to be three of the most common ones. But there are dozens more.
That’s why I’ve created the “Conversion Booster Check List.” It’s a two-page document that lists all the questions you should ask yourself as you critique your copy.
You can get this check list FREE when you vist my business growth blog. I hope to see you there!
My Best,
-Ryan M. Healy
P.S. One of my most popular copywriting articles on my blog is Do Questions Work as Headlines? Check it out when you have a minute.
{ 8 comments }
Hello Ben & Ryan,
I’m aware of both of you and know your reputations in the copywriting field. This comment is addresed to Ryan. I began reading this blog post and stopped when I got to the word “heck.”
Why? Because I can’t think of a single person who uses that word in common spoken English. In fact, I hate it when that word is used because is signals someone trying to be coy with me.
Now, I’m not from the South so I don’t know if people actually use that word in normal conversation, but being from California, the first thing I’d do if someone used “heck” in a conversation would be to assume he/she were either stupid or a conservative christian.
You might not agree with me publicly here in this forum, but think about it. Do you really use “heck” in your conversations?
P.S. Maybe one of you (preferable Ben) will write an article and address this because I can guarantee you the use of this word isn’t building rapport. Instead, it’s making the writer look like an amateur.
Hey Edward,
It all depends on who you’re talking to.
Fact is, most people don’t tend to get hung up on one word.
Frankly, if you ever get a chance to see some reading studies, you’ll see most people don’t even consciously read every word when reading copy. That’s why you can have misspellings and verbal gaffes that’d make even Joe Biden look intelligent and still make a ton of moo-lah.
Personally, “heck” doesn’t bother me at all.
Doesn’t bother anyone else I know, either.
However, if I were writing to a market full of people who think people who use “heck” are amateurs, I’d definitely not use it, either.
It’s all about the market, and not everyone lives in California and New York
Plus, since I use the word “heck” a lot (it’s nicer than saying “hell” all the time), I suspect Ryan probably figured it’d be okay, too.
Ben
Hi Ben,
Are you really being serious? Halbert cursed a lot. It made him real. Maybe not likeable, but real. You got the sense that you were reading someone who was genuine.
When I hear or read the word “heck” my BS detector goes up and I wonder, does this guy really speak like that?
Perhaps I’m being too nitpicky, but that’s my honest opinion when someone uses this word. Why not just say “hell” or completely avoid using “heck” completely? At least then I’d feel like I’m speaking to someone real.
P.S. If I feel this way, I can guarantee you others do as well. Further, don’t dismiss this simply because YOU use the word. Most people don’t. Unless they live in the Southern states and even there they probably use the word hell.
Well, Edward, you’re certainly more than welcome to believe what you want.
I come from Chicago originally — hardly a southern state controlled by Christian conservatives — and “heck” is used all the time.
Ironically, you’re committing the exact same mistake you think I am:
Dismissing something simply because you don’t use the word.
Ben
P.S. By the way… Gary Halbert (since you brought him up) used “heck” in his newsletters — even while he lived in California. So does John Carlton (who is from California originally, as far as I know) on his blog.
There’s a reason why top copywriters use that “good old boy” language…
Hey Edward,
It might sound weird, but I don’t curse. I used to work in a snowboard shop and my co-workers cursed like sailors; I didn’t.
Sometimes a curse word or two can enhance copy. But in general I feel like curse words are a cop-out — they’re words you use when you’re too lazy to be accurate.
Plus, cursing isn’t part of me. It’s just not who I am.
In this case, I used “heck” more of a transition than anything else. Almost like, “Hey, I used to make these mistakes…”
Still, maybe the article would be better without the word “heck” thrown in there. Thanks for the feedback, Edward. I really do appreciate it.
Ryan
Hi Ryan,
Thanks for your courteous response. It’s probably just me then. I have an emotional response to that word. Always have and never understood why people just can’t say “hell.”
Sure, heck is nicer. Sure it’s polite. But hell, I wish more people would curse. In context of course.
Thanks for the reply,
Edward
P.S. Cursing isn’t necessarily a cop-out. It’s a viable form of communication that gets the point across quickly. Plus, it’s VERY emotional – something every copywriter tries to tap. Just ask Kern.
Hey Ryan,
Thank you sooooo much for giving me the reminder of stop trying to educate the clients in your salesletter.
The Gene Schwartz “tap into a demand that already exists” core principle was something I didn’t keep in my mind while writing the last letter I wrote.
I’m going to go back now and torch all the parts where I was educating my prospects about why they needed what I have to offer.
I think it was Socrates who said “Learning is remembering.”
This is what is so valuable about blogs like yours and Ben’s. Those subtle little reminders that keep your marketing mind sharp.
Like the legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden said… “If I am through learning, I am through.
I look forward to more reminders in the future.
Thank you Ryan
Note Taking Nerd Numba 2
http://www.mynotetakingnerd.wordpress.com
@Note Taking Nerd – You’re welcome! Glad I could be a catalyst for action.
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