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Seems whenever I do ad critiques, one of the things people always have trouble with is the ever-frustrating opening paragraph.
It’s not quite as important as the headline.
But it’s still important and can sometimes even help make or break your response.
So today I thought it’d be helpful to share a simple opening paragraph “template” that can get the job done in a pinch.
Especially if you’re writing to your own list… and especially if you want to avoid having an ad that screams “SALES JOB!!!!” at first glance.
I’ve used this opening several times now, and it really works.
Here’s a “real life” example of what it looks like:
Hey (name),
A few months ago I was going through a bunch of subscriber email questions and one question that popped up over and over again went like this:
“”Ben, I need to be a better copywriter. But I’m confused, not getting the results I want, and don’t know where to turn. What copywriting course, book or seminar do you most recommend?”
My answer:
See how that works?
It doesn’t look, feel or behave like most other sales pitches, does it?
Instead, it starts with a question that quickly and immediately builds rapport with anyone interested in wanting to be a better copywriter.
Here’s another example:
Hey (name),
A few months ago I was going through a bunch of subscriber email questions and one question that kept popping up over and over again went like this:
“Ben, I want to be a freelance copywriter. But I’m just starting out, have no contacts in the industry and don’t know what to do. Is there a course or book you recommend?”
My answer:
Pretty simple, isn’t it?
And it works for anything you want to sell — including niches that have nothing to do with copywriting or business-to-business.
All you do is take your customers’ most frequently asked questions, or a problem they have, and “plug” it into the template.
Try it yourself and see.
Take the above examples and adapt them to your product and service.
Not only will you stick out like a sore thumb from your “hype ‘n scream” competitors… but your readers will probably be way more likely to read (and respond to) your offers.
{ 7 comments }
Nice one Sir Ben.
Glad you liked it Tom.
It’s not the “sexiest” copywriting secret in the world — but it’s got teeth.
Ben
I love it. Great alternative to the classic “If/then” opening I’ve used so much.
By the way, I’ve been using your suggestion for breaking up long lists of bullets and it works great. (I actually use your suggestions.)
P.S. Your Wordpress math equations for posting comments are forcing me to remember “order of operations.” Do I multiply first or add? Divide or subtract? This will definitely stop blog spammers dead in their tracks.
Thanks Ryan, glad some of these things are helping. Sometimes it’s the small things that can make copywriting a LOT easier.
By the way, not only does the math plugin stop spammers…it’s even stopped me from posting a couple times…
Doh!
That’s good stuff. It gives the impression, whether true or not, that you know what you’re talking about and people seek you out for answers.
Rezbi
http://www.magnifyincome.com
I always get stuck for an introduction paragraph. Once I get going I can do OK because I know my product. It is just how to PROPERLY get it out there
without the “OH OH HERE COMES THE SALES PITCH”.
Great point, if you’re going to “stick out like a sore thumb” you better have a great following act. I’d disagree and say that it is just as important as the headline. Too many headline lead readers in the wrong direction or they appear to be really interesting and then the opening dissolves the interest. Some more tips on writing the first paragraph include: using an interrupting idea or a real shocker, use a news writing style, use a story, or a quote.
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