Been getting LOTS of email marketing questions.

And today I figured I’d jump on my high horse and gallop on over to the computer to answer them.

Ready?

QUESTION: How long should my emails be?

BEN: IMHO, emails should be like a woman’s skirt:

So I shoot for 350-500 words.

BUT… long ones can work like gangbusters, too.

While back, I wrote an extremely long email about some people who tried to indoctrinate me into their weirdo cult.

And you know what?

Even though there was only one link (at the very bottom)… and had nothing to do with copywriting… it sold more Copywriting Grab Bag books than most of the shorter ones.

Interesting, eh?

QUESTION: How do you respond to angry and nasty emails?

BEN: When the nitwits come a-knocking, do these two things:

1. Delete ’em.
2. Realize they’re losers — with a capital “L”.

They’re just like the two old guys in the balcony in The Muppets — always heckling everyone and spouting negativities.

But you know what?

The farty old balcony muppets are at least funny.

The email hecklers are just pathetic.

QUESTION: How often should I send emails?

BEN: I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again:

The more emails I send, the bigger and faster my list grows… the more new copywriting client inquiries I get… the more people buy my products… etc.

But you have to know what you’re doing.

There’s an art and science to email.

And like any art… the more you practice, the better you become. And like any science… the more you measure and test, the more predictable your results.

QUESTION: How can I write riveting email copy?

BEN: Write like you talk — warts and all.

Unfortunately, most marketers write dry, boring and (worst of all) “intellectual” emails. Always trying to sound educated and “professional.”

Bah!

Screw all that.

Have FUN with email.

Loosen up, and don’t worry about offending the snobs, elitists and “PC police”. Trust me, most people would MUCH rather hang with a regular person than some stuffy intellectual who uses a $5 word when a 5 cent word gets the job done.

Wouldn’t you?

Anyway, email is a VERY cool thing.

And if you know how to wield it — like an ancient samurai warrior wielding a katana blade — you’ll slice right through your competition and make out like a bandit.

In fact, eventually it’ll be like you’re the ONLY one people read.

Because frankly, you WILL be the only one people read.

Ben Settle

P.S. There’s an entire appendix about email marketing in The Copywriting Grab Bag from email “pioneer” Terry Dean — who was cranking out profitable emails before most of us were even on the Internet.