Been almost 4 years since using any of the big free social media sites.
But I still remember being astounded at the number of reply guy types who behaved as if their only purpose for existing was to publicly grandstand by replying to a post or thought with some nonsense — with zero contribution to anything and just typing to hear themselves write.
But they ain’t just on social.
I get ‘em in my inbox too.
Although not nearly as often, and probably because grandstanding is their game, with attention being their scoreboard. And it’s hard to publicly grandstand via email when nobody else sees how clever and witty they believe they are, and especially since I rarely bother replying back.
Whatever the case, email reply guys come in all shapes and sizes.
Below are a few recents haunting my inbox for your reading displeasure.
First, we got Mr. Tough Guy:
“Where’s the fucking discount ?? It still says 250. Should be 150 with link but it’s not??”
Not too bright that one.
The price he was spazzing about was clearly — next to yellow highlighted text — on the sales page.
Then there’s the well-meaning-but-misguided Mr. Unsolicited Advice Guy:
Hello brother,
This email actually annoyed me…I wanted to know more about Stefania s story..what happened, why was the client such a bitch, how did Stefania resolve the issue? Did that client cunt receive any retribution, at all, for the way he behaved?
Instead, I just got a cliffhanger … aaaah… cliffhangers…the banes of everyone s existence…the shit that keeps on shitting…
Maybe next time..satisfy these questions before making the offer?
Only put the cliffhanger for the solution, brother, not the story?
Just a thought – maybe I m extremely wrong..who knows.
I m actually subscribed to your email so I can learn from a cw badass.
Thank you!
Finally…
There’s the Mr. Angry Eyebrows Guy:
You’re way too negative in your emails.
Sincerely Unsubscribed,
For some reason he reminds me of Bert from the early (non woke horse shyt version) 1970’s Sesame Street episodes Willis likes to watch – reading whatever email he was responding to he thought was too negative with disapproving eyebrows.
Okay enough fun for my soul.
One more thing to think about:
Email reply guys still ultimately serve a useful purpose.
And that purpose is, you know you’re almost certainly doing something right when you hear from them. In fact, if you aren’t getting reply guys haunting your inbox, you probably need to ramp up your email game a few notches.
That’s all I got today.
More here:
Ben Settle
