Last week I saw the biggest pile of horse pucky this side of Texas.
Someone had posted on flakebook an image of a guy bragging about his big planned out sales & “onboarding” (one of those nifty phrases goo-roo fanboys get chubbies over) funnel (with automation!), and saying how it’s even more complex than it looks.
Yay!
It was amusing, to say the least.
It was like this giant maze that made no sense.
If I had to finish his thought I’d add:
“Now all I need is a list and an offer!”
Think I jest?
Almost everyone I’ve talked to who brags about these things has zero list or offer to sell in their souped-up funnels — or even how to use email in a way anyone wants to read. There is a time and place for these giant funnels. But for the majority of people (that I know at least, your milage may vary) who do these things, they haven’t even figured out the basics of direct response. And, thus, have no idea how impractical these things are for most businesses without a big team and infrastructure in place.
Probably looks cool in the fb groups full of drooling goo-roo fanboys.
But, in the real world?
It’s pure, unadulterated flowery hands marketing.
Flowery hands being a term in kung fu mocking people who do a bunch of giant arm movements and complex kicks and balancing acts that look great to the uninitiated, but will get their arses handed to them by even an amateur in a real fight since they have zero balance, coordination, or ways to practically and efficiently strike or kick.
So it is in marketing and sales.
These overly complex onboarding funnels are the epitome of flowery hands marketing.
Amusing, yes.
But, for all but the truly experienced marketers, ultimately foolish.
Kinda like a court jester…
Hey, if you want that, have a party.
Me?
I focus on the fundamentals.
Then, I dig DEEP into them.
Like in kung fu, each fundamental principle of marketing (that many reading this roll their eyes at) goes so deep you could never truly master them in a lifetime.
And, they work way better than the flowery hands nonsense.
Want to onboard yourself to broke?
Be my guest.
Otherwise, to go deep into my boring, non-sexy (but off-the-wall effective) ways, go here:
Ben Settle
