I like to rap about my ex-copywriting apprentice a lot in these emails.
(And in my “Email Players” newsletter)
And every once in a while someone will perk up and ask about why she is my EX-copywriting apprentice, and not still my actual copywriting apprentice. Especially since I sometimes do business with her (i.e. she pays me to consult her on projects, I spoke at her event, etc etc). What gives? Why not just let her still be the actual apprentice instead of the ex-apprentice?
Answer:
First, I hate being responsible for other people.
(I can barely take care of my dog.)
And secondly, because she stubbornly didn’t listen too many times.
It’s not entirely her fault, though. elBenbo is NOT a good one-on-one teacher. I’m crotchety, grumpy, impatient (at times), and hold people to my own impossibly high standards. (And make no mistake, I hold her to the highest standard possible, ask her all about it if you don’t believe me.) But don’t feel too sorry for her. She had a hand to play in it. Specifically, she ignored two of my commands repeatedly no matter how much I disciplined her.
The two commands?
1. Kept giving her time away for free (free consults, etc)
2. Kept doing rush jobs
Both are severe no-no’s if you’re working under elBenbo’s cruel tutelage.
But, lest you think I’m a monster, I didn’t just dump her apprenticeship.
I at least tried *disciplining* her first.
For example:
I tried the shock collar thing. Every time she hopped on skype to give someone free advice or even entertained the idea of doing a rush job, I pushed the button and she got a jolt of electricity. BZZZZT! She’d say, “But, Ben isn’t it okay because…” BZZZT! Or she’d try to rationalize, “Ben, this isn’t fair you said —“ BZZZT!
Did it work?
Nope!
So I tried something else less invasive but that I’ve seen work on cats:
The spray bottle.
She’d jump on skype to sneak in a free consult with someone and I’d spray her. SSSSST! Or, she’d talk to some other would-be client pleading with her to do a rush job “just this one time” not knowing I was hovering behind her and… SSSST! sprayed her.
This worked for a while.
(Certainly better than the shock collar.)
But, in the end, she didn’t break to my will.
And, thus, I had to fire her as the apprentice.
But you know what?
As much as my ego hates to admit it, she’s MUCH better off. For example, she’s now putting on her own successful marketing events (her first one, Biz N Brewz, was a big hit right out the gate), writing emails for hire (underpricing herself still considering how talented she is at it, good time to hire her…), has started her own writing business academy (it’s really cool what she’s putting together, and much needed in this industry), and she is one of the best copywriting critiquers you can hire.
But enough about her.
Let’s get back to me again, yo?
Sheesh.
Specifically:
How to get your hands on some valuable products dirt cheap.
Listen, I’m the first to admit most of my products are pricey. But, I do have some “bargain bin” products, too — that cover everything from copywriting and email, to affiliate marketing and traffic, to positioning and negotiation, to how to put together joint ventures, produce & profit from print newsletters, and, yes, my deranged monster novels.
They are practically all priced under $3.
And, well, here they is:
Ben Settle
