I recently saw a bit about how Tinder is doubling down on its supplication shtick.
In this case:
They implemented a height filter for users that lets women filter out men below their preferred height. I don’t really have a dog in this fight one way or the other, nor do I have a problem with that. Curation is good. But, it’s amusing in its irony how women get a height filter to help curate out what’s unattractive to them, but men don’t get a weight filter to help curate what they are not attracted to. It’s even more ironic when realizing height is an attribute people have zero control over, while weight is an attribute people have 100% control over.
It’s typical of the online dating apps, though.
And not really that surprising.
It’s also one of many reasons why I think online dating is a waste of time for 90% of men.
In my experience, it’s far better for a business man to recruit from his customer and “fanbase.” Doing that sets in motion all kinds of forces that work hard for you vs randomly spending your hard-earned money and time subscribing to dating apps that, by their nature, totally work against the vast majority of guys.
What “forces” am I talking about?
Well, for example:
* Social proof
* Status
* Demonstration of value
* Leadership
* Pre-selection
* Pre-sold “leads”
* Them chasing you instead of you chasing them
* No competition
* Shared interests (in your kind of business, if nothing else)
* A “walled garden” you control
* Competition for your attention
* Positioning/frame
* Proximity (if you mail daily especially) – which is by FAR the strongest of all of these forces. Proximity is quite the strange and interesting phenomenon that is so consistently effective it’s become the foundation of soap operas, romance stories, and movies. The “Billy Graham rule” (a man not meeting with a woman without his wife present) didn’t exist in a vacuum.
There’s a whole lot more to the romance game than smooth talking & one-liners.
And all of the above can help absolutely help make nearly any man more attractive to women – regardless of physical or other flaws – by “default” if you know what you’re doing. Certainly more attractive than shot gunning messages inside apps and websites into inboxes overflowing with messages from your taller, better looking, and more successful competition.
It’s much easier to play the game on easy mode.
And to do that as a business man, it’s easy:
Recruit from your fan/customer base.
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Ben Settle
