Dramatis personae:
Yesterday I talked about a chick who wants to hire me to sell some kind of hair washing product. But, I needed to gather a bunch of references and, this was the kicker, I am to send her some issues of my “Email Players” newsletter (you know, the one others pay for) so she could get some “ideas.”
At first, I thought it was a joke.
Like I was on “Candid Camera”, or something.
But no.
It was real.
And, she replied saying how my joke about raising and caring for her bastard child while I’m at it wasn’t funny, and what about my so-called love for everyone?
She also insisted I reply fast, because she’s in a hurry.
Oh, and I’d only get paid on commission.
No upfront fees.
Why?
Because, and I quote:
“This is only fair because if you’re advertisement does not work it is really on you. This is totally fair.”
Let’s have some more fun with this.
Forget for a second I don’t even do client work.
Forget for a second I never claimed to “love everyone.”
Forget all that.
Let’s talk about her silly little offer.
I should only work on commission because it’s on me if her unproven, untested, and uninteresting product fails.
It’s also on me if her list is crap.
If her offer sucks.
And if her product ends up with zero demand.
Sigh.
It’s like when I once went 8 days without showering.
I thought I still smelled fresh.
But everyone else?
Not so much.
And that’s how it is with offers like this.
It’s blatantly low class jackass and silly to everyone who hears it. But the would-be clients who dream them up think they smell fresh — and they’re doing people a favor.
Amusing times.
Anyway, enough comedy.
On to bid’niz:
Next “Email Players” issue has a bonus list building training — specifically, about using contests to build lists.
Fascinating stuff.
And, not widely taught.
Subscribe here to get it:
Ben Settle
