i.e., Tested & curated.
A true story for the lovelorn ages:
Not long ago, Stefanie sent me a series of screenshots from the Flakebook from a guy Virtue Signaling about how he dated, planned, and married his wife. Complete with all the timelines and dates one can imagine in such a post meant to get likes, high-fives, and that extra 5 minutes of business time per month from his wife.
Here were some of the more amusing highlights:
~ He showed up at her job with lunch
~ He found out what interested her, and took an interest in much of it
~ He spent a bunch of money on a ring for her
~ He called her dad and asked for his blessing before popping the question
~ He took her to several countries from Africa to Asia to South & Central America because, and I quote, “IF SHE IS “MY WORLD,” I SHOULD SHOW HER “THE WORLD!”
~ He scratches her back, rubs her feet, and draws her bath
~ He makes it so she always knows where he is and what he’s up to
~ And ending with this ditty:
“A Man will never reach his fullest potential without the presence of a GOOD WOMAN! To short her is to short self! To deny her is to deny self!”
Stefanie’s comments with the screenshots:
“It was more like, you put me through a set of trials, some by fire, by water…and, at the end, I was allowed to bear your child.”
Indeed.
She’s the first to say the above is 180 degrees switched over here.
For example:
+ Not only did I not ask her dad for his blessing last year, I didn’t even ask Stefanie — I told her it was time and that was that.
+ I spent a grand total of $400 on her wedding ring she cherishes more than any other jewelry she possesses, that she picked out and simply sent me an email with a link to buy it. (SIDE NOTE: her mom wanted me to spend $30,000+ on a ring last year during the lockdowns while I was working my azz off to come up with the cash to invest half a million in 2 mobile app companies… )
+ She wouldn’t even dream of letting me draw my own bath — in fact, she won’t even let me shade myself from the sun. Another true story: she once stood next to me for over an hour straight holding up a menu over my face to shield my milky white skin from being burned while sitting in the sun at an outdoor bar during a mastermind in Napa, CA (with lots of attendees & a few of their not-so-amused wives sneering at me as my witness).
+ She even declared it’s her goal for me to never even see — much less change — one of Willis’ dirty diapers. Frankly, she had to remind me (when she discovered I was writing this email) the only time she asks me to feed the child is when she’s making ME food.
+ Stefanie is obsessed with my interests and hobbies to the point of constantly watching how I curate and collate information — from what I look at on my phone to what I watch on TV to what sections of the paper I read and in what order (while, unlike Screenshot Guy with his wife, I couldn’t even tell you what her favorite soccer team is).
+ I’ve never taken her outside the U.S., and the couple road trips we’ve gone on were cut short to get back to my dog.
+ She not only shows up with my lunch — but she gets viscerally angry at the mere thought of anyone else BUT her fixing me a plate (my mom, her mom, and my step mom excluded).
+ As far as knowing my every movement: Although she probably won’t hire any attractive housekeepers tip-toeing around here (will not explain), knowing my every move and being privy to every conversation I have with everyone I come in contact with would bore the hades out of her.
+ Shortly after discovering I was writing this email she also requested I add to it that when she makes us vegetable trays to snack on, she takes the time to peel off the parts of celery that would otherwise get stuck in my righteous teeth.
+ And the beating heart pounds on…
Anyway, the point of all this?
The principles behind what she said I did to conquer her mind.
(i.e., trials by fire & water).
By her own admission, it’s because of those trials that she has far more respect & is far happier than if I was like one of those schlubs who used to chase her around New York who treat women like celebrities and, thus, more often than not get treated like fans.
Which brings us to your business, Romeo.
These same principles can apply to your list building, customer building, and client building… whereby I cannot imagine you not having a much more responsive, more eager-to-buy, and more happy to refer customer base doing so.
The March “Email Players” issue explains how.
(In the bonus elBenbo’s Lair insert.)
More on the newsletter here:
Ben Settle
