Ready for another “Marketing Monsters” episode?
You are?
Okay then… below are 3 more blood-thirsty marketing monsters prowling the countryside looking for fresh new victims to sink their teeth into:
MONEY-SNATCHING POD MAN
This marketer is always seeking large amounts of affiliates to sell substandard products to their lists in a “feeding frenzy.”
In other words…
These affiliates are pushed into promoting some “new” product to their lists in a very short time frame (often with the same pre-written email about how they were on the phone with the product creator and learned of a new way to do whatever it is the product is supposed to do.)
The product creator makes out like a bandit.
And the hapless affiliates sacrifice their reputations and any built-up TRUST they once had with their lists on his blood-stained alter.
THE GURU GHOUL
This monster often appears as a “guru.”
And he looks exactly like an expert.
Yet, he’s the complete opposite!
You see, what he does is, he lures unwary newbies in his market (usually “rabid” markets) to his cave and devours their every last penny — while delivering little or no real value.
And to make matters worse…
He is a master at using “social proof.”
In fact, he’s so unbelievably good at using it, his victims actually think he’s doing them a favor — almost like it’s a privilege — as he consumes their last dime.
APATHETIC ALIEN FROM PLANET X
This marketer LOOKS like other ethical marketers.
Frankly at first glance you cannot tell the difference between him and a decent human being who cares about his customers.
Until you buy something, that is.
Fly in your food?
“Tough luck.”
Car brakes squeak 3 days after you drive off the lot?
“So? Not my problem anymore.”
Product still hasn’t arrived after 9 weeks?
“Be patient.”
Avoid this soulless entity who couldn’t care less about you or your fellow earthlings at ALL costs. He’s a miserable wretch who hates his own business.
And nothing likes company more than misery.
OK, that’s enough geeky foolishness for today.
Turn on your nightlight, close the closet door and look under your bed. These monsters are everywhere — always hungry, prowling the darkness for victims.
Don’t you be their next meal…
Ben Settle
P.S. You can see previous “Marketing Monster” episodes at:
