Ben Settle

I haven’t spent much time in Texas. But that doesn’t stop me from liking (and shamelessly USING whenever applicable) one of the best phrases they use down there in the lone star state:

“All hat, no cattle”

(Or “big hat, no cattle”, whatever)

What does that mean?

Basically, it describes someone who’s more image or projection than actual substance (or, as some like to say, they “talk the talk but can’t walk the walk”).

This describes quite a few people online, too.

For example, people who brag about having…

• A big list but can’t make a sale if their life depended on it

• An arsenal of copywriting “tricks” and “chokes” memorized, but can’t sell their way out of a paper bag

• Lots of Facebook friends & Twitter followers… but no customers

• Thousands of blog readers, but no sales

• $10k worth of books on their shelves they love posting pictures on facebook of… but haven’t read any of them

• And, yes, all the latest super-duper “space age” funnel software and gadgets… but can’t create a funnel that makes them more than a few bucks per month

Let’s talk about the last one about funnels real quick.

Tomorrow’s Ben Settle Show podcast episode is all about how anyone (especially if you hate technology) can set up a working funnel (if you want to even call it a funnel) very quickly, that starts bringing sales, without spending a fortune on all the big funnel products, gurus, etc.

I’ve been using this funnel for years.

And, so have a lot of other folks.

I’ll let you know when it’s up tomorrow.

Today?

Check out our other episodes here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/blog

Ben Settle

A few months ago I wrote an email about profanity.

Specifically, how I don’t really use profanity in emails despite what people think (other than if I’m quoting someone else, or I want to make a very specific point). And when I do, it’s usually something like the word “ass” — which, in my way of thinking, isn’t even profanity any more than word butt or booty.

Anyway, that email got several responses.

That response that stood out like a 4-letter word in church was:

Ass? Just a minor vulgarism. Very minor; just a common (if slightly crude) name for a body part.

I had an exchange with Bob myself over the use of euphemisms. It’s a bit funny what people will get upset over, but cursing is something that is widely misunderstood, anyway.

For instance, the euphemisms “sheesh” and “fricken” are just vulgarisms, not curses, and are generally understood as “sh— t” and “f___ing”. Similar, but more obscure, are “willy”, “dick”, “John Thomas”, etc. as euphemisms for “pee-nis.” None of those are actually cursing (“cussing”).

But the euphemisms “darn”, “gosh”, and similar, *are* curses, and are generally used in place of “damn” and “god” respectively. There is a substantial part of the potential audience that understands the difference, and objects to even the euphemisms in the case of curses.

As for me, I don’t give a rat’s ass. 🙂

— Howard Lee Harkness

Heh. He said “John Thomas”…

Anyway, my whole take in emails to *adults* is intent.

A word by itself means nothing.

A word with intent is everything.

For example:

When growing up, Child elBenbo’s brother was quite the John Thomas to our mom. And, he once tried to get around swearing by calling my mom an “ich” when he got mad at her instead of “bitch.” Now, you tell me. Is “ich” any less insulting and disrespectful than “bitch”?

More:

Is saying “shit” really any worse than “dung?”

They’re both words describing the exact same substance.

How is it any more offensive that poop?

Or turd?

Or pinching a loaf?

On the other hand:

I can say something like, “bitch please!” in response to hearing something outrageous or as a put down with my buddies and nobody is going to care. It not only isn’t “offensive” but it’s welcome and keeps the fire of snappy banter burning for more laughs. But, if I call one of my friends moms a bitch well, thems be fighting words.

Anyway, that’s my take on it.

Do with it whatever you want.

Personally, I don’t want to end up in a spam filter.

(Thus I had to edit some of Howard’s words above as such to make sure you could even read this.)

Thus, I proceed accordingly.

Okay, on to business:

The April “Email Players” issue goes to the printer in less than a week.

The entire issue is about building a responsive list for free.

One of the (many) methods I talk about for doing so is about a JV I did with someone who definitely does NOT swear in his emails (the great A-list copywriter Bob Bly) and how we both added a lot of quality leads to each others’ lists using nothing but free email.

Subscription info here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Last week a news story was circulating around Twitter about a high school wrestler who contracted herpes during a wrestling match.

Back when I was in wrestling all you’d catch is cauliflower ear.

Or, maybe get a staph infection.

But kids these days?

Sheesh.

Anyway, it got me to thinking about something. We got a bit of this sort of thing in the email copywriting world, too. In fact, just as wrestlers contract diseases from wrestling indiscriminate men without realizing it… I’ve noticed a ho’ bunch of email copywriters have been contracting bad (sales and even brand-killing) habits from competing online with indiscriminate and unsavory marketers.

Here are a few examples of what I’m yapping about:

• Putting “sent from iPhone” at the bottom of a broadcast/auto-respondered email

• Putting “re:” in the subject line in a broadcast/auto-respondered email (I’m not lawyer, nor do I play one on line, but I believe that violates the Can Spam Act)

• Putting “Fwd:” in the subject line of a broadcast/auto-respondered email (ditto above)

• Apologizing for sending people emails (i.e. “Sorry to bother you…”, why are you sorry for helping people?)

• Swiping from competitors and sending those emails to the same “gene pool” of leads

• And the list goes on

All of the above is amateur at best.

And, illegal at worst.

(From what I understand about putting “re” and “fwd” in the subject line, at least.)

Screw the tips and tricks.

Simply learn how to sell and all the above is unnecessary. I can show you, in about about an hour’s time, how to write emails people look forward to reading and, yes, even buying from, practically every time you push that send button.

Details here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

And another example of big corporations making dumb marketing decisions:

The Dos Equis Man is to be phased out of their advertising.

Why?

It certainly ain’t because of low sales. In fact, Heineken (who owns Dos Equis) says they nearly tripled its business over the past 9 years since they started running their ads about the most interesting man in the world. They even admit that, in the past year *alone*, sales grew 10.2%.

Can you believe that?

One of the ONLY examples of big corporation ads worth studying (especially for writing emails) and they are going to kill the ads?

Who stops running ads that *grow* sales?

Their reason is, to “revamp” their ads for a younger generation.

Dumb.

In fact, I’d bet your left kidney their sales tank immediately.

But, whaddya gonna do?

So RIP to the Dos Equis Man ads.

Some of the best examples of selling a lifestyle (instead of a product) you’ll ever see.

Anyway, let’s talk about something less depressing.

Specifically, the next “Email Players” issue.

If you want to have the most interesting LIST in the world — a list jam packed with eager-to-buy people who look forward to reading and *buying* from your emails (regardless of your industry, niche, or business) — then the April issue will show you how.

(Plus, these are “cheapskate friendly” methods — all free.)

It’s perfect if you know how to write emails but just need a bigger list.

It’s also going to print in a couple weeks.

Hit the jump below to get it in time:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Not a week goes by where someone doesn’t ask something like:

“Ben! Who do you use to print your products and ship them?”

Or…

“Ben! What merchant account do you use?”

Or…

“Ben! Who does your web site stuff?”

And so on, and so forth.

Well, guess what?

I have decided to do a podcast on my approved P.O.O.P.S (acronym for peeps I use for protection, opportunity, objectionable-people, peace-of-mind, and sales). At least, these are the people and businesses I use now. So if you use them, always do your own due diligence and homework first.

You can download this baby here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/113

Ben Settle

P.S. Producer Jonathan and I also talk about some major changes we’re making in the podcast’s facebook group that is going to cause any freebie seekers hearing it to run out into the street weeping and gnashing their teeth, cursing elBenbo’s posterity for the next 40 generations.

But, this change needs to be made.

And so, it will…

A few years back my pal Doberman Dan Gallapoo was telling me about how after almost 20 years of “hounds tooth clean” selling online, his merchant account shut him down out of the blue — without explanation or warning. Some muckety-muck simply decided he was a high risk business and that was that — even though his track record was spotless.

Luckily, he had a back up merchant account.

And, he simply switched it on and was back in bid’niz.

That is, until a week later that blessed back up merchant account shut him down, too.

Again, with no warning or explanation.

But ol’ Doberman Dan, being the sly dog he is, had a back up to his back up, and switched that on and was back in bid’niz and to my knowledge they didn’t shut him down.

Anyway, such is the fickle nature of merchant accounts.

And, why Dan had been on me like flies on poop for YEARS to not only have a backup merchant account, but a back of my back up, and a back up of that back up, plus an offshore merchant account just in case.

That’s a lot of work, though.

And, since elBenbo is the king of procrastination, I kept ignoring his advice.

(Sweating bullets the whole time.)

But a year ago, that all changed.

I had a similar talk with the Doberman and instead of lecturing me on the need for multiple merchant accounts (which I needed to hear, he is a good friend like that), he referred me to this guy Joe — who is to people who use merchant accounts what a good insurance agent is to people who use insurance. He is like a “go to guy” for setting you up with merchant accounts — including multiple merchant accounts, for added protection so your income doesn’t dry up if you’re suddenly shut down by yours.

(As Dan Kennedy sayseth: “1” is the most dangerous number in bid’niz).

He also goes to bat for you if there are any problems.

And, he talks to the merchant accounts on your behalf if need be.

(Not only freeing up your time, but possibly helping prevent someone from shutting down out of the blue, which can happen to any direct marketer — even if you have zero chargebacks and have done nothing wrong — without notice, reason, or explanation. All it takes is someone at the bank knighting your business as high risk, and BAM!)

Bottom line:

He keeps his finger on the pulse of everything for you.

And, gives your righteous self peace of mind.

Plus, like an insurance agent or list broker:

You don’t pay him.

The merchant accounts do.

So he’s free for you.

Anyway, I talk more about him and my other Ben Settle Show “approved” people and services on tomorrow’s podcast. While you’re waiting for it, check out our prior shows here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/blog

Ben Settle

Would you take persuasion advice from a felon?

As in, someone who was in 9 different prisons (state and fed)… was often the only white guy in the place in the south and much smaller than most of the other prisoners inside… with prison guards so ruthless they kicked a legless prisoner down some stairs just for shitz & giggles? Would you like to know how he used nothing but quick wits and persuasion skill to talk his way out of getting his ass beaten (and worse…) even after he was let out of prison and was talking smack to everyone on his way out only to be told it was a mistake and they tossed him back in with the very people he was mocking?

Think someone like that could make your marketing better?

Your sales arguments stronger?

Your bank account plumper?

Then check ye out today’s Ben Settle Show podcast.

I don’t do a lot of interviews (I hate having guests on), but I made an exception for my pal Ryan Stewman — convicted felon, bestselling sales author of 3 books, and the man other top sales people call “the hardcore closer”.

His is a fascinating story.

And, you can listen to it right here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/112

Ben Settle

A few years ago I had a conversation with a family member (who shalt go unnamed) about why I think the idea of throwing “deadbeat dads” (i.e. dads who don’t pay child support) into jail is completely idiotic, makes no sense, and does nothing but harm the kid(s).

Why would I say that?

Three reasons:

1. If he’s in jail, he can’t pay anything anyway

2. When he gets out of jail, his job prospects are going to suck even worse, so assuming he starts paying again it won’t be as much as it could be

3. The child now has the stigma of having a father who is in jail

(yay!)

Who exactly does it help?

That is, other than scum bags who profit from jails?

(I am very much against the idea of any kind of prison — there is no crime that either public flogging, restitution, or the death penalty doesn’t take care of depending on the severity and nature of the particular crime.)

Anyway, she couldn’t refute my position.

But, I was still called an asshole, anyway.

And, well, just shows nobody ever “wins” an argument.

What does this have to do with your marketing or copywriting or emails or business or making more sales or anything even remotely related to such?

Probably nothing.

Unless, of course, you are able to read between the lines.

While you’re doing that, I want to tell you another jail-related story.

This one about a conversation I had with a convicted felon who has been in 9 different prisons, had a crap upbringing, has made lots of mistakes… and is now one of the world’s top sales trainers, and lives in a penthouse in the middle of Dallas with neighbors that include movie stars, rock stars, celebrity athletes, etc. Believe it or not, he survived those 9 prisons in the South as a 130 lbs 19-year old, often the only white guy in the place in most cases (yes, the racial stuff you hear about prisons is true), and he did it with nothing but hardcore persuasion skills.

And guess what?

You can hear his story on tomorrow’s Ben Settle Show podcast.

(Lots more lessons “between the lines” in this one.)

Watch for my email tomorrow.

In the meantime, download prior episodes here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/blog

Ben Settle

A couple months ago a few people had some delivery issues with the “Email Players” newsletter. And, so I went into the facebook group for customers and said to tell me if theirs hadn’t shown yet.

Specifically, I said to send me their address.

Turns out only a few people had delivery problems after all.

But, one blue light special who is not a paid subscriber sent me his address thinking he’d get a free issue. I bet if you were to open the dictionary and look up the definition of low class jackass, you’d see a picture of this guy.

Does he think elBenbo doesn’t check these things?

The low class jackass types are nothing if not amusingly predictable.

In fact, over the years I’ve become like the eye of Sauron — with my gaze fixed on all the silly little things freebie seekers like him do that keeps them from making it anywhere in business. Even if I had been asleep at the switch and blindly sent the issue to him, he wouldn’t have benefited from it. He sure as hellz wouldn’t have valued it. And, he never would have profited from it.

Why?

Because the information isn’t meant for him or people like him.

It’s for doers.

Movers and shakers.

And, yes, action takers.

For everyone else?

To paraphrase John Adams:

“It is wholly inadequate for any other”

More info here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle