Ben Settle

Let’s talk about human behavior.

And, how to put people in a “state” so that, no matter how angry, irritated, or outright hostile they are to you (and, yes, I speaketh from LOTS of experience on this, make no mistake about it my little droogling)… they not only forget all about why they’re mad, but like you even more.

And before you ask…

Yes, you can use the following in your bid’niz, too.

Anyway, here’s the story:

A couple months ago I was watching my ex-copywriting apprentice’s dog and, out of sheer boredom, took a picture of him sitting on my lap staring off at the wall, completely oblivious and indifferent to my existence.

Then, I asked him:

“Want some num-nums?”

He immediately looked up at me, eye contact, of which I took another picture. Then, I put the two pics together side-by-side, and put a caption under them:

The one where he’s ignoring me said:

“When your girl is mad at you”

The one where he’s looking at me like I’m the dog messiah:

(After I asked if he wanted food)

“When you ask her if she wants something to eat.”

What does this have to do with marketing?

Well, to paraphrase Dan Kennedy:

“It’s hard to be mad at someone who gives you free food.”

(I’ve found this especially useful when dealing with chicks…)

Apply that to your bid’niz and there will be peace…

Also, speaking of chicks:

The May “Email Players” issue contains a lesson how guys can better sell to women, even if you’ve consistently tried and failed before.

If that’s you, worry ye not.

Your uncle elBenbo has the cure for your angst.

It goes to print next week.

Subscribe in time to get it here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

The esteemed “Email Players” subscriber Lloyd Irvin sayseth:

After reading your players guide I just said fuck it and wrote an

email telling them what I was doing and what they needed to be involved. I got 12 people to attend at $3k a pop. Two of them joined my $60k coaching group after. I guess some of that money can be contributed to that email also.

Just wanted to say thanks for that push. I’m about to do it again next week for another workshop.

I approve this message.

In fact, one of the big epiphanies I had when developing my email methodology was, in a pinch, you don’t really need a sales letter. My droogie Jim Yaghi had the same reaction. I even remember him selling a ton of seats to a webinar he was holding for $99 a pop (something like that) using just emails the way I showed him, sending his list to a PayPal order form.

Am I saying not to have a sales letter?

No, I’m not saying that at all.

What I am saying is…

Sometimes you just don’t have the time, energy, or desire to hammer out a long, droning sales pitch (or wait around as you outsource it to someone else). During those times, you just gotta hike up the skirt, strap on the nut-sac, and get them emails out.

Using my system you’ll still make sales.

And, a lot more than you may expect.

(As Mr. Irvin proved.)

What’s that?

You want to learn my mysterious email ways?

You want to try selling big ticket product with *just* email?

And, you want to do it *fast*?

Good.

Hop on your high horse and gallop on over to:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

I recently finished reading a book called:

“Bare Bones: Conversations On Terror With Stephen King”

It’s a book of interviews he did.

And, there’s lots of gold in there for email marketers.

For example:

The story of his smash hit book “The Shining”. Originally, the title was “The Shine”. But, some executive said they can’t use that title because there is a black cook in the book, and he feared people would think the title was referring to him. (i.e. “shine” was a term from WW2 some people used to call black people). Kind of a dorky choice, actually — considering anyone with an IQ over 80 would know it wasn’t talking about the cook, but the power the boy and the cook both shared.

Anyway, here’s the point:

They tacked an “ing” at the end.

So it became “The Shining” instead of “The Shine”.

Then, guess what happened?

A whole slew of horror books by wannabe Stephen Kings exploded on the scene. “The Piercing”, “The Burning, “The Searing” — the this-ing and the that-ing.

Of course, the wannabes all faded into obscurity.

Never being relevant.

Never being remembered.

Except, of course, for being hacks and knock-offs.

This happens Internet marketing land, too.

For example:

Lots of people have a product title that’s a “Blueprint”.

Or a “Manifesto”.

Or is preceded by “No BS…”

Or is a “Cheat Sheet”.

(I even had one of them years ago…)

My favorite was a few years ago when several “Brute Force” titles shot onto the scene at the same time.

Nary an original thought.

Nary a shred of uniqueness.

Nary an ounce of creativity.

The original title is watered down & the rip offs look like hacks.

Listen, babycakes:

Marketers are supposed to be IDEA people. Yet, most are hacks and jackanapes who wouldn’t know an original thought if it bit them in the prostate gland — instead buying into the idiotic notion you should just “swipe & steal.”

Dorky.

Especially with emails.

Anyway, the point?

It doesn’t take much to stand out.

You just gotta do something unique.

Use your own personality, experiences, and ideas.

And, not be a copycat.

That’s it.

That ALONE can give you a huge advantage.

So many emails are just a copy of a copy of a copy of someone else’s idea, hook or copy that simply writing in YOUR own voice, with YOUR own ideas and giving YOUR own opinion makes you stick out like a wet fart.

This is where “Email Players” comes in.

Obviously, it’s not intended for everyone.

(Like copycats and swipers.)

The newsletter (and the book that comes with your subscription) shows you how to be original. How to be unique. And, how to write emails people like reading and buying from.

That’s why my boys & girls kick so much bootay.

And, why the jackanapes are always copying us.

Which do you want to be?

An original who makes the lions share of sales?

Or, the hack who gets our scraps?

Go ye here to subscribe:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Today’s “Ben Settle Show” podcast shares the mic with Kevin Rogers — stand up comic, copy chief, and founder of one of the most helpful resources for copywriters (and clients) on ye olde Internet.

We rap about:

• Real world copywriting lessons Kevin learned while doing stand up comedy.

• Why being “funny” isn’t enough to get chicks wanting you. (And will most likely land your azz smack dab in the friend zone.)

• Johnny Carson’s secret for using his introversion to become the most recognized celebrity on the face of the planet in the 70’s and 80’s. (It’s also used by world class copywriters like John Carlton and other introverts in the marketing business today.)

• A “fool proof” way to know if you’re an introvert or an extrovert.

• A big mistake freelance copywriters with unique, off-the-wall experiences and backgrounds make when getting clients.

• The stand up comic’s 5-second secret to winning the attention of drunk, hostile comedy club crowds with folded arms itching to torment comedians. (Can be directly applied to getting attention in your ads, too.)

• A new website that is perfect both for copywriters looking to find great clients (and get tips from seasoned pros on how to make their ads better), and great clients looking for copywriters.

• The real reason why clients are scared to hire copywriters. (I must admit, I never considered this before, but it’s 100% spot on and something every freelancer should be aware of.)

• And lotza more…

Get yo laugh & learn on here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/antipreneur

Ben Settle

A little while back the Irishman who does all my web design (I trusteth no other person to do it) Keith Commins said…

He’s the Bill Burr of Email

When I first stumbled on to Ben’s list my first reaction was to liken him to the comic Bill Burr.

Like Burr he delivers outrageously irreverent material coupled with scathing social commentary that’s right on the money every time.

Love or hate him, you won’t ignore him.

And ultimately his message is delivered with such a wallop of whoop-ass’ing truth you can’t help but buy what he’s selling.

I might be a “skoshe” biased, but…

I agree.

Actually, I have never heard Bill Burr, but I think I like the bloke already… and, going by the reviews we have on iTunes, I think my Ben Settle Show podcast listeners would say the above testimonial was an even more apt description of the podcast than my emails.

Speaking of the show:

(And of comedians)

Tomorrow’s Ben Settle Show has a little surprise guest:

Stand up comic-turned-copy-chief Kevin Rogers.

It was a blast doing this one.

And, methinks you’ll like it.

I’ll shoot you an email when it’s up.

Tonight your assignment is to listen to past episodes here:

 www.BenSettleShow.com/antipreneur

Ben Settle

So next week I’m attending a mastermind in Austin, TX.

It’s going to be with a group of blokes most of who I’ve never met in anyway, shape, or form (I believe out of the 15 of us, I will know 3 people). And, when the guy putting it together sent us all a sheet with everyone’s bios, one of the guys replied saying (I’m paraphrasing) “Ben, I get all your emails, I don’t read them all, but I save them no matter what.”

The point?

Yet another reason to sell *every* day.

You cannot assume everyone is reading every email.

(No matter how “awesome” they think you are.)

In fact, I think (and I’m right) you should be paranoid about this and assume the email you are about to send out *could* be the ONLY opportunity people get to see your link and will never read another email from you, and this is your only shot. (Which, due to spam filters, ISP black lists, the busy-ness of life, low attention spans, etc could very well be the case with a big chunk of people on your list who really want to buy what you have, really NEED what you have, but simply don’t know it exists if you are not plugging a link to your product every day.)

Would you screw around trying to “incubate” people?

Trying to prove what a “nice guy” you are by not pitching?

Or, would you go for the jugular?

Let them know your product at least exists?

(Even if you timidly hide it in the PS)?

I rest my case, Counselor.

So don’t be shy about selling.

Plug your product.

Your bank account and list (the buyers, at least) will thank you.

And the do-nothings?

The ones who won’t buy anyway?

They’ll opt out.

Win-win.

Finally:

For the “how to’s” of writing emails check out the “Email Players” newsletter. Your subscription comes with a book that shows you the foundation of my wicked ways, and then the newsletter shows you how to build upon the foundation for the rest of your life to blow your timid competition out of the water.

Subscription info here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Let’s rap about subject lines.

Since it’s the second most important part of an email, I’ll sally forth with an analogy from one of my all time favorite TV shows — “Burn Notice” — to make it crystal clear. “Burn Notice”, by the way, is about a spy who is “burned” (i.e. blackballed) by the CIA and who goes around helping people in trouble with the mob, or who have been robbed, or need protection, etc, while trying to figure out who burned him and why.

It’s kinda like a cross between McGyver and The A-Team.

Anyway, back to subject lines…

In the pilot episode Michael Westen (the spy who was burned) wants to get the attention of someone he knows at the FBI, to get info about who burned him.

So, what does he do?

Sends the guy a pipe bomb, course.

(Well, a fake pipe bomb…)

Now THAT is getting attention.

But, not just any ol’ attention.

That’s *undivided* attention.

Just like, you know, great email subject lines get.

And if you want to learn a very simple and easy (very little thought has to go into it) way to write a “pipe bomb” subject line… one that is very hard for people to ignore (and resist wanting to open the email — even if competing with 100 other emails in their inbox) check ye out the May “Email Players” issue.

Frankly, this one works so well you gotta be careful with it.

Otherwise, it can work against you.

And, land you in trouble.

(Just like sending a fake pipe bomb to the FBI would.)

Subscribe in time here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

I recently did some “informal” market research.

By that I mean, I have been asking men and women a question, and noting the reply to further show the differences in the way men and women think, ponder, and, yes decide to buy stuff.

And that question is:

“Would you rather be bored or depressed?”

Every guy I’ve asked this to has said:

“Bored!”

Why?

Because most dudes (unless they’ve got some kind of chemical imbalance going on, etc) just can’t be bothered with depression.

For one, it accomplishes nothing.

It also holds us back from our objectives.

And, well, why so serious?

(Besides, how are you supposed to conquer the world if you’re too depressed to get out of bed…)

But, what about women?

It’s the opposite.

In fact, yesterday I asked this to my ex-copywriting apprentice, and she (predictably) answered…

“I admit it… depressed.”

Just as every other chick I’ve asked did.

And yes to the naysayers:

I realize if I asked enough other people, I’d have run into a few guys who would prefer wallowing in withering depression and a few chicks who prefer going mad from mind-numbing boredom, let’s keep some context here…

The point?

Don’t let the media lemmings fool ya:

There are stark differences between men and women. Women, as much as some may act like it are not men. And men, as much as many of them act like it, are not women. Two totally different biologies, secreting totally different amounts of different chemicals, with totally different objectives.

(Like wanting more freedom vs more security, for example.)

Argue this all you want, my little Droogie.

Deny it all you want, if you wish.

But, as a marketer, knowing the difference between the way men and women make buying decisions can put a lot of extra rupees in your chubby little piggy bank. On the other hand… not knowing (or foolishly denying) the differences (and how to exploit those differences in your emails and ads) is robbing yourself of sales.

Maybe even LOTS of sales.

Which brings us to….

(drum roll…)

The May “Email Players” issue.

Inside its not-so-hallowed pages contains a valuable lesson on how to sell to women (if you’re a guy and don’t think like a chick) and how to sell to men (if you’re a chick and don’t think like a guy).

Very important information.

Information that can enrich and enlighten you.

But, she goes to the printer soon.

So hop to it if you want in in time here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Last week got some cool props on Facebook.

It was from one Caliban Darklock.

And, he posted an image of his inbox, of the emails he sees upon rising each day, with all the other names blurred out except mine, implying that he just looks at the name and knows he wants to read it — regardless of the subject line.

He then elaborated:

“And here’s the fun part: I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a single email from Ben Settle where he ISN’T selling something. He emails every day and sells me something every day and I still open his emails every day. And not ONCE have I ever screwed up my face and said “he just wants to sell me something.”

A very important lesson is contained in this.

Did you catch it?

No?

Then, I will burp it out:

When you do email right (and, let’s face it, hardly anyone does — mostly emails are deleted on sight unless the writer gets lucky with a subject line that touches a nerve), you will find:

1. Your subject line is almost irrelevant for many readers

(As far as them opening it)

2. Few people delete your emails

3. You can pitch, and pitch every. single. time… and nobody weeps and gnashes their teeth over it. In fact, people look forward to it, enjoy reading it, and, if they are ready, will buy from it — cheerfully, and anxiously.

In fact, another comment Lindsay Shearer commented:

(in the same thread)

“I don’t even see the headlines half the time I just see Ben’s name and think to myself what are we getting ourselves into today . Epic”

That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

Now, before a marketing fanboy bursts an artery over this:

I’m not saying subject lines aren’t important.

They are.

Not just for newer subscribers who haven’t been sufficiently indoctrinated into your wicked ways… but for people who love your emails but are so busy they are tempted to save them to another folder “for later” (which may or may not happen in the hustle and bustle of the day). And for them, you want the subject line to get them so curious they can’t put it aside, even if they desperately need to.

What can I say?

I take pride in ruining people’s productivity…

So obviously you want to have irresistible subject lines, too.

Aaaaaand that brings us to the pitch:

Enter the May “Email Players” issue.

I included 2 (count ’em… 2) powerful subject line resources.

One of them is a subject line “template” of sorts that, if you use it (and it admittedly takes balls, if you’re scared of your list, you won’t do it) it is almost guaranteed to get your email opened by anyone on your list who still has a pulse.

And the other?

That’s a tail for a future email.

(But it’s a doozy, based on click bait.)

Anyway, she goes to print in a couple weeks.

Subscription info here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle