Ben Settle

In today’s not-so-creepy “Ben Settle Show” podcast we rap about Dan Kennedy’s “Time Vampires”… and identify several types that are skimming the shadows looking to suck you dry of every drop of time you possess.

We also rap about:

• The exact best place and time to have a meeting that (1) ends fast (2) hits all the agenda points (3) scares the hell out of Time Vampires.

• What day (and time) Time Vampires are especially abundant on Facebook.

• Why anti-freedom to bear arms activists are sick in the head.

• Why a Time Vampire’s bite is more destructive than a blood-sucking vampire’s bite. (And why they’re even more seductive and persuasive.)

• Why you could have Time Vampires on your team and not even know it…

• The anti-time management “Uber syndrome” that plagues online marketers. (My ex-copywriting apprentice recently witnessed a half dozen IMer’s waiting 20+ minutes to save a few bucks on Uber when there was a cab waiting right in front of them. Somewhere a Time Vampire smiled a fanged grin at that one…)

• 3 ways to slay the Time Vampires.

• And a ho’ bunch more…

Click that freaky little link below to listen now:

www.BenSettleShow.com/antipreneur

Ben Settle

One of the best durned books I ever done laid my eyes on is Dan Kennedy’s magnificent book:

“NO BS Time Management”

There are many reasons everyone should read that book.

Especially the part about “Time Vampires”.

These are people that suck up your time like a traditional vampire sucks up your blood.

Yes, they feed on your time.

Will tap a vein and take as much of it as they can.

And, can leave you a pale, withered husk of a person — dried up of all energy, patience, and desire to work.

Anyway, Dan identifies 3 by name in the book.

But, you know what?

Over the past 14 or so years in business I’ve identified several more that are particularly gruesome, dangerous, and blood-thirsty for your time.

They are:

• The Debating Dracula
• Bride Of Debating Dracula
• The Phone Calling Count Chokula
• The “I’ll Be Back” Barnabas Collins
• The Always-Late Lestat
• The Nagging Nosferatu
• The Count Of Chronic Texting

Nasty cast of characters they be, too.

But I have a plan for dealing with them.

And, tomorrow’s “Ben Settle Show” podcast goes into minute details about each of the above time vampires skimming the shadows, how to identify (and elude) them, and, even more importantly, how to stake them so they never drink of your time again.

Watch for my email tomorrow, Van Helsing.

While you’re waiting, check out prior episodes here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/antipreneur

Ben Settle

Behold…

One of my droogies sent me some screenshots of a chick named Sammie (not her real name) complaining about me in a Facebook group. What’s amusing is, there are plenty of *legitimate* reasons to dislike me, no need to make any up.

But, that’s exactly what she did.

She writes:

“I asked politely to be removed from his list because his Aweber link doesn’t work, and he told me ‘I wasn’t even on the list.’ I am of course because I receive his emails, as unpleasant as they are. Avoid him. His threatening lawyer’s letter too is an absolute turn off.”

My assessment?

This girl is *tremendous*!

I even told my Facebook ad guy Shane Hunter I must get more people like her on my list. Yes, it’s true she asked to be removed. And, it’s true I told her she wasn’t even on the list. I can’t magically remove someone from my list if they already unsubscribed. And, my *guess* is that probably, she clicked the unsubscribe link, it unsubscribed her, and she didn’t realize it, then when she clicked it again, whereby it showed nothing happening. Thus, when I checked, it did not show her email in the system and she still thought she was on there.

Dames…

But wait, there’s more!

A guy also chimed in about how he’s been following me for years, and seems to think my emails have gotten too political and opinionated (opinionated, yes, duh — but I rarely get political in my emails, she list does he be talkin’ about…)

Plus, he seems to think I’m aiming at:

(And I quote)

“beer-swilling rednecks with dinosaur-like attitudes to life.”

To which my girl above  again replies:

“…it is rare to find such extreme aggression, swearing and rudeness in the field of IM. Our world has grown up and refined mostly. I never accept heavy-duty aggression and my feeling is he is losing the plot and his business is sinking. Successfully people aren’t that angry.”

Ooh.

I have 2 theories about her.

First, as I have lectured my ex-copywriting apprentice about repeatedly, there is a VERY thin line between love and hate. Her hatred of me, for no real reason (the Aweber thing was just silly for her to complain about), *could* be construed as a growing passion and affection for me she’s desperately trying to hide and suppress.

If that is the case, I have just one thing to say to her:

I’m sorry.

No means no, “Sammie.”

It would never work with us, you are way too sensitive for a brash and aggressive Type A bloke like me. There is a mush cookie out there for you somewhere, though. You just gotta look. But the sooner you accept we can never be, the sooner you can move on with your life.

Okay?

Now, off with you…

[Gives her a metaphorical swat on the rear… and sends her on her merry way.]

So that’s one theory.

My second theory?

(Which is FAR more likely than theory 1, let’s face it…)

She’s projecting.

“Projection” — which is what happens when someone projects their own fears, insecurities, pain, etc onto someone else, to cover up their own. (In her case, she’s worried about her own business drying up, etc, and probably is struggling, frustrated, and angry.)

Projection like this is common online these days.

Especially on facebook.

(Where mush-cookie snowflakes abound.)

On another note:

I would love to see these “extreme” aggressive emails. After all, they must have hit pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, and I’d LOVE to see what I did so I could repeat the process in future emails…

Okay, enough mush-cookie soup for the soul.

Let’s move on to the fun stuff:

Me trying to sell you something.

At the link below, you can join the beer swilling rednecks and me as we take over the Internet using email marketing.

However, I can be a bit obnoxious.

I’m bound to offend someone.

And, well, why so serious?

Details here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Here’s a funny story:

Once someone asked me about what specific “real” companies I’ve worked for that I’ve helped in email marketing and how they benefited. He also wanted to see some examples of my work, saying if he wanted to hire me, how would he know I had any successes at all… and so on, and so forth.

My answer?

If I did client work, I’d go through the trouble.

But, I don’t do client work.

So, why would I bother?

Pretty simple, yeah?

Well, not for this dude.

He replies with:

“I think you’re a snake oil salesman. All of your “mysterious” tips and “secret” ways to make money. Did my homework on you. Not impressed at all with your writing skills either. Good day to you. I’m sure I’ll be “blackballed” or parodied in your email newsletter.”

Amusing stuff.

Let’s see…

1. He sounds butt hurt about all this.

2. If he’d really done his “homework” a simple Google search would lead him down a rabbit hole mentioning various clients, testimonials, experiences, etc. (HINT: When someone said they researched you, and gives no examples of what their “research” uncovered — it means they have no real argument or point.)

3. My site says I don’t do client work (he did his homework?)

4. He said my writing didn’t impress him, yet he’s butt hurt over the fact I won’t spend time digging up links, etc to show him. (If my writing sucks, why waste time seeing more of it?)

5. He anticipates being “blackballed” and parodied.

Well, yes, to the parody.

When someone sends you hate mail, butt hurt mail, or is being a troll… you should mock it.

It’s good for the soul.

And, can make you sales.

But, no to the blackball thing.

That’s for opportunity-minded customers — and nothing to do with hate mail, troll mail or just good, old fashioned butt hurt mail like his.

Sheesh.

So much for doing his homework.

But, you know what?

I hate to leave the naysayers empty-handed.

So, here’s a little something for their tender eyes:

If you likey what you see, then go here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Let’s see if I can’t rattle the advertising critics…

One of the things I sometimes catch “flack” for is, I don’t spend the time each day to format my emails for smart phones. Now, admittedly, I don’t do this because I’m a big believer in the Dan Kennedyism:

“Money is attracted to speed”

There’s also some “A pile” mail mentality going on, too.

And, probably, some good, ol American laziness at work.

But guess what?

There could be a profitable reason for this.

Here’s what I mean:

My personal opinion of emails not formatted for phones is “who cares?” When I am reading them on my phone, I couldn’t care less. In fact, I think they are easier to read. Maybe it’s the high contrast (something I write about often in “Email Players” is how powerful contrast is in emails). Or that some lines are so short it’s harder not to read them than it is to read them. Or, maybe, I just like sticking it to the advertising critics, spelling nazis and grammar gargoyles who are the only ones who ever complain. (I have never once heard a complaint in another market — just when writing to writers, copywriters, and advertising people.)

I’ve also done some informal research on this.

You know… asking friends, etc.

i.e. People who are not trying to be advertising critics.

You know what they all say?

It’s ugly… but easier to read.

I even asked someone who is a huge “stickler” for formatting (it almost physically hurts her to see crappy formatting, she said). She said even though my emails are butt ugly, she loves them like this because they are easier to read due to all the short lines, etc (i.e. contrast).

Plus, to make matters even worse:

A lot of people who use HTML’s tables are way too wide.

On even a bigger screen like my phone, I have to swipe over to read an entire sentence, then swipe back for. each. single. sentence. And what may read fine on one person’s phone could be way too wide for someone else’s.

Not so with my beat-with-the-ugly-stick emails.

More:

It goes beyond contrast and tables.

The great late copywriter Eugene Schwartz once said:

“The ugly thing in a world of beauty stands out..”

Ol’ GS was no dummy.

He was one of the best of the best copywriters.

A true “A-lister”.

(During a time when there were only 3 or 4).

He was also a HUGE fan of ugly layouts.

The uglier, the better.

The more random, the better.

Why?

Because they stood out. And what stands out is more likely to get noticed. And what’s noticed is more likely to be bought from.

(Assuming your copy is good…)

Hey, don’t believe me?

Well, good.

You shouldn’t.

You should try these things out yourself.

But, now you know why I don’t obsess over formatting.

Now, down to bid’niz:

Your pal elBenbo has all kinds of contrarian and outright “ugly” email strategies up his sleeve to generate higher sales and response. And, he writes about them each month in “Email Players”.

No, it ain’t cheap.

And no, I don’t just let “anyone” in.

(Have even bounced a few out recently.)

To see if you qualify, go here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Let’s rap about Facebook ads.

I’m no expert (or even an ex-spurt) on the subject. But since my FB ad guy Shane Hunter has been running my campaigns, we’ve gotten a lot of great traffic, lots more sales, and also a few people thinking we push things too far (Shane’s style is unapologetically abrasive — not unlike my emails, they are very similar like that).

Question is, are they right?

Do we go too far?

I don’t think so.

For one, we follow FB’s rules. And for another, neither him nor any of his clients have ever been banned (while several people I know who play it 100% “safe” have been banned without warning or explanation).

But, what if FB did ban me?

Then what?

Why, nothing my fine feathered droogie.

Facebook is just one of the concubines in my traffic “harem.” If she leaves the harem I won’t even care. Frankly, she’s bitchy, high maintenance, and disagreeable, anyway, with the trigger-happy powers-that-be shutting people down for no reason as it is. If she were to leave my harem, I’ll use what intel I’ve taken from her (we’ve gotten a ton just in the last month) and apply to something else (direct mail for sure — which is on deck)… plus, she doesn’t get half my assets and I get to keep the kids (list, branding, audience, testing results, etc I’ve gotten from being with her).

The point?

As Dan Kennedy says:

“One is the most dangerous number in business.”

FB ain’t my only traffic source.

And anyone who makes it their *only* traffic source is in the same boat as all them bigfoots who thought cheap easy broadcast fax and 900 numbers would be around forever.

BTW…

I can’t recommend Shane enough.

His site is at www.ShaneHunter.org (I get no commission or kickback, I just like his work) — and his wily ways go hand in hand with my email methods — each making the other more effective, so 2 + 2 doesn’t equal 4, it equals 10, 50, or 400 (as the results compound on themselves).

Moral of the story?

Keep your traffic harem diverse.

Keep it maintained.

And, yes, keep it full of good “concubines.”

That way, if one leaves or cheats, you don’t care.

Tis the elBenbo way…

Ben Settle

Following are some peeps I use for protection, opportunity, objectionable-people, peace-of-mind, and sales (acronym: P.O.O.P.S. — i.e. they help me fight against all the crappy thieves, opportunists, and bad vendors out there).

Use them at your own risk, of course.

But so far these particular people and companies and services have made my life a ho’ bunch easier…

1. My merchant account agent

My pal Doberman Dan referred me to this guy Joe — who is to people who use merchant accounts what a good insurance agent is to people who use insurance. He is like a “go to guy” for setting you up with merchant accounts — including multiple merchant accounts, for added protection so your income doesn’t dry up if you’re suddenly shut down by yours. (As Dan Kennedy sayseth: “1” is the most dangerous number in bid’niz). He also goes to bat for you if there are any problems, talks to the merchant accounts on your behalf (freeing up all your time — this alone is huge — plug, you do NOT want to be shut down out of the blue, which can happen to any direct marketer — even if you have zero chargebacks and have done nothing wrong — without notice, reason, or explanation. All it takes is someone at the bank knighting your business as high risk, and BAM!)

Bottom line:

He keeps his finger on the pulse of everything for you.

And, gives your righteous self peace of mind.

Plus, like an insurance agent or list broker:

You don’t pay him.

The merchant accounts do.

So he’s free for you.

Contact me if you want to talk to him.

(Full disclosure: I will get a commission)

2. Takedown Czar

The owner Alastair Evans runs one helluva tight ship that attacks the pirates, thieves, and copyright infringers in all the places they like to pillage and plunder your intellectual property. It amuses me how they keep Google (and all the “secret” so-called black hat forums) cleaned out.

Hat tip to Ryan Levesque for this one.

One of the best business investments I ever done made:

www.dmcatakedownczar.com

3. Selby Marketing (printing & mailing services)

I’ve written about this outfit before.

If you have any printing, mailing, etc that needs doing, Rich, Trina, and Michelle run a fine oiled machine. They treat your business like it’s their own, and in the 5+ years I’ve used them, I have NEVER had a single problem with them:

www.SelbyMarketing.com

4. Morgan Whitney (bookkeeping services)

When I moved back to Oregon in 2012, my books got messed up by doing business with a bookkeeper that was unorganized and didn’t really understand the tax laws well.

Needless to say, my books were a mess.

Morgan swooped in, helped me fix everything, hooked me up with a payroll company, and she does all the tedious bookkeeping tasks for me now (including sharing info with my accountant, getting all my payroll info for me and taking care of creating my profit and loss, financial statements, W9’s, etc).

I don’t really have to think about my books at all.

And, she saves me hours and hours of tedious work and time.

Which is kinda the idea…

Contact me if you want her info.

She’s based in Las Vegas and since she’s been doing my books for the last few years, she’s familiar with the Internet marketing world, and our unique bookkeeping particularities.

5. Russell Fox (accounting)

I don’t know if he’s taking new clients on or not.

But what I DO know is, I’ve gone through accountants like underwear over the past 13+ years and Russ (who is an enrolled agent) is by FAR the best I’ve used.

Plus, his blog is highly entertaining.

(In a dry humor kinda way…)

Always a good, informative read:

www.TaxableTalk.com

He’s also in sync with the bookkeeper above Morgan Whitney’s office, so it makes doing taxes each year a breeze since they already know and communicate with each other.

6. Keith Commins

My web, programming, design “go to” guy.

Keith is the ONLY programmer/designer I’ve ever met who is not a complete, and utter flake (TF is with designers and programmers?) And since he’s highly trained in the exquisite art of direct response marketing, his ability to help you ratchet up response is worth 10 times his cost (easy).

More:

He works on retainer, if you choose.

So each month I get the following:

Set amount of his time and he takes care of everything: setting up and monitoring my split tests (including using analytics, testing software, etc), designing pages, digging into WordPress to do whatever I want, sitting on the phone with webhosting support, making paypal and my merchant account play nice, keeping my sites security and plugins up to snuff, and any and every technical problem that can (and does) happen.

Time is your most valuable asset.

And, he allows you to leverage and keep a lot more than you are now, if you’re always messing with website problems and tech gremlins.

His site is:

www.PearlDesign.ie

7. Shane Hunter (Facebook ads, PPC, etc)

Aaaaaaand, last but not least… my Facebook ad guy.

For years Shane was the under-the-radar guy other testing, SEO, PPC, etc other traffic guys would go to when they needed help. But, until recently, he never really offered his services (he basically worked in “spurts” — making 6-figures per year working maybe 3 days per year, and has done work for guys like Frank Kern and a ton of people in the biz opp world.)

Anyway, his skills are crazy good.

His ability to create ads that demand attention are the best I’ve seen.

And he “gets” infotainment.

That’s something hardly anyone in his world understands.

He has a great offer going right now if you want someone to do all your Facebook advertising over at:

www.ShaneHunter.org

OK, there you is.

My personal “go-to” team of vendors, services, and advisors.

Obviously, do your due diligence.

But, call them you should.

Only then, a Jedi will you be…

Ben Settle

This is it, my little droogling.

Game time.

The special try-it-for-free-for-14-days and get a big discount if you decide to keep using it offer for Aw Pro Tools ends in just a few minutes. This tool was invented for Aweber users who wanted to give their auto-responder all kinds of cool features that are usually only found in ultra expensive (and complicated) systems where you need a degree in computer science to figure everything out.

But Jack’s tool is simple.

Easy to use.

And, priced so low (at the moment, for my subscribers) it’s pretty much a no-brainer to use it free for 14-days, see if you like it, and then be “Grandfathered” in at a lower price than what everyone else pays.

Anyway, here’s my affiliate link:

www.EmailPlayers.com/emailcandyland

Final call.

Ben Settle

P.S. Here is what Frank Kern says about this tool:

“AW ProTools is easily the single greatest marketing tool ever for Aweber users. Hands down.”

Other “name” marketers love and use it, too.

Including email marketing experts (like Andre Chaperon, for example). And media buying experts (like Justin Brooke). And funnel experts (like Todd Brown). And continuity income experts (like Ryan Lee). And even the owner of Aweber (Tom Kulzner) himself who refers people to it.

But it ain’t just gurus using it.

Jack has case studies and testimonials from all over the ‘net.

Everyone from CPA affiliates… to home schooling moms… to chiropractors… to people in the health market… gamers… architects… role playing gamers… and even some of my highest-earning “Email Players” subscribers… attribute AW ProTools to making them lots and lots and lots of more sales, with way less effort and stress.

Again, you can try it free for 14-days.

Make money with it.

Enjoy it.

And then, if you want to keep using it (and there is no obligation) you can get it a special discount for my subscribers.

But, only if you nab it in the next few minutes.

Go here quickly:

www.EmailPlayers.com/emailcandyland

Aweber vs Infusionsoft.

It’s like a monster movie hearing people debate which is better, considering one is far more simple than the other, yet the other has far more advanced features than the one. But, if you use Aweber, and want to give it some cool Infusionsoft-like features (like advanced list segmentation, which alone is worth many times the small cost of the tool), then today is your last day to get Jack Born’s “AwProTools” at a discount.

Here’s what you do:

1. Go to this link (my naked affiliate link):

www.EmailPlayers.com/emailcandyland

2. Take the free 14-day trial

3. If you likey, it’s yours at a unique discount only available to my website subscribers.

If you don’t likey, you owe nothing.

Doesn’t get any easier than that…

But Jack Born’s offer ends tonight at midnight.

After that, no discount for you.

(The “Born Ultimatum?”)

Ben Settle