Ben Settle

Last night a friend and I watched one of her all time favorite movies:

“Army Of Darkness”

It’s part 3 of the “Evil Dead” series.

Is compulsively quotable.

And, entertaining as hellz (no pun).

Anyway, it’s about a retail store employee who gets shunted back in in time to Medieval England. And the only way to get back home is to find the “Necronomicon” (i.e. the “Book of the Dead”) which is an evil book that contains the spells he needs to return.

The Necronomicon is an extremely powerful book.

And, both the “Deadites” and the humans need it to win.

And you want to know something?

At the risk of sounding arrogant (what, me?)…

I like to think my “Copywriting Grab Bag” book is like the Necronomicon (sans the evil stuff, of course) of the copywriting world.

The “Copynomicon”, if you will.

And guess what?

I’m having a special sale on it starting now.

Until midnight PST tomorrow night (Wednesday night) you can get it for a big ‘ol fatty $100.00 off.

Is there anything “new” in it?

Anything you don’t already know?

Well, ask guys like the “founding fathers” of Internet marketing as we know it — Ken McCarthy and Terry Dean.

Or copywriters like Ray Edwards.

(Copywriter for Tony Robbins, Frank Kern, Rich Schefren, Jack Canfield and other “celebrity” Internet marketers and authors.)

Or freelancers like Leon Altman.

(Featured in AWAI’s “Monthly Copywriting Genius.” Also wrote for Jim Cramer of CNBC’s “Mad Money”, The Anaheim Angels, And Apple Computer.)

And others who say they use and profit from it.

I’m obviously biased, of course.

But, I think it’s the best kept secret of copywriting.

The proverbial “King of underground copywriting products”.

And it’s yours for $100.00 off.

But, only until tomorrow at midnight PST.

Hail to the king, baby:

www.CopywritingGrabBag.com/copynomicon

Ben Settle

P.S. How much info is crammed into this product?

There are over 200 bullets at the link above.

And, you know what?

If I hadn’t been so lazy when I wrote it, I probably would have had double the number of bullets. It’s designed so you can turn to any page and find a tip, idea, nugget or strategy to write higher selling ads.

There’s a lot of lessons on writing bullets, too.

(Including a bonus not mentioned on the sales letter).

Powerful stuff.

But, it’s not for the lazy.

This is a book THICK with content.

It’s not for people who bitch about “info overload.”

If that’s you, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the store.

Otherwise, gimme some sugar, baby:

www.CopywritingGrabBag.com/copynomicon

Behold…

Chapter 2 of my work-in-progress:

“The Book of Benverbs”

If you hate Mondays you ain’t doing life right

Chasing wealth is a great way to stay broke

Anyone that has a problem with what I say, is the one with the problem

The more “ruly” you are, the more easily you’re ruled

I’m not arguing, I’m granting you the wisdom of showing you why you’re wrong

You’re either on my side or the wrong side

Never reward bad behavior unless you want more of the same

You don’t have to outrun the evil blood thirsty ferocious beast chasing you and your friend through the woods… you only have to outrun your friend

Assuming only makes an ass out of you, not me

If you let your customers steer your ship you’re gonna end up on the rocks

Can’t you just feeeeel the love I have for ya?

Alright that’s all today.

Excelsior.

Ben Settle

P.S. Because I know you can’t drink deeply enough from my well of anti-wisdom, below is a recap of chapter 1 from the Book of Benverbs:

In the land of dumb asses the smart ass is king

Wisdom doesn’t come cheap

Everyone wants honesty until you tell them the truth

There are no dumb answers, only dumb questions

The only people who don’t have a right to complain are the people who voted for the winning candidate

My opinion may change, but the fact I’m always right never changes

God gave you 2 ears and 1 mouth so you can listen to me talk more with minimal interruptions

It’s perfectly okay if you disagree with me, it’s not against the law for you to be wrong

I’m incapable of ever being wrong, ergo I’m always right

Write drunk, edit sober

Stay ye tuned for chapter 3…

In the meantime, for some “for real” wisdom and business building tips (all taken directly from an ancient supernatural book a gazillion times more valuable) check out:

www.ChristianBusinessSecrets.com

In which the question is “axed”:

“Hi Ben! I’m looking for a mentor online. do you do coaching?? I’m a newbie looking for someone like you to steer me in the right direction 😀 Thank you Ben! – Deena”

The short answer:

Negative.

Why?

Well, besides being a lone wolf who prefers working alone and not being responsible for anyone but himself… I’d be a dick to anyone I mentored.

Nothing personal, of course.

But I like to punish those who need the safety net of the coach.

(Needing a coach is anti-Ben at the core, not my bag.)

Thus, my “style” of teaching 1-on-1 would consist of me taking sadistic glee in making you do mundane, boring tasks for weeks on end while I collect abnormally large checks from you.

For example:

You’d have to fly to my town.

Stay in my guest bedroom.

(On the floor, my dog sleeps on the bed.)

And, basically be my slave doing things like:

• Scheduling lunches, meetings and wine/brewery tours with my local business partner in crime Trevor Mauch and our clients (of course, you’d be our designated driver)

• Washing my laundry

• Cooking my meals

• Doing my shopping and errands

• Walking my dog

• Helping Jodi (the gal who cleans my place) — in fact, you’d basically be her bitch, doing as she says, cleaning the entire place top to bottom, while she sits back and has a glass of wine, telling you what to do (you’d also have to clean the months’ worth of dog poops in my back yard I’ve lazily neglected doing since moving here…)

• Washing my car (wax on, wax off!)

• And whatever other domestic chores I could think of

What else?

During all this I supposed I’d have to teach you email.

But, it’d be grueling.

And, I’d expect you to keep up.

(Even if it means getting little or ZERO sleep.)

You see, I’d have you do all the things I had to do over 10 years of learning this stuff… but crammed into a week or two. Like hand copying entire copywriting books and long direct response ads. Writing 20 (yes 20) emails per day (what I did during my fastest “growth spurt” back in January 2011). Create detailed customer profiles on multiple markets so you “for real” get that the writing is really secondary (the market is first). Listen to select talk radio shows I instruct you to listen to (and take notes — which you will be quizzed on). Watch certain TV shows I command you to watch. Cease ALL carnal activity (i.e. no conjugal visits from your spouse, no junk food, etc). Read the exact books (including some that are over 300 pages) I instruct you to read… analyze one high selling email per day and think up at least 5 ways to make it better (I’ve done this, it takes sometimes HOURS, but you won’t have that kind of time as it’d take away from the domestic chores I make you do). Write me a personal email every day detailing why I’m so wonderful and how lucky you are to be doing my chores (so you don’t treat emails like sales letters, but actual personal emails).

And the list goes on…

There are many other things, too.

It would not be “fun.”

It would frankly be hell on earth for you.

And, if you showed even a SLIVER of sass, rebelliousness or complaining… the work load and suffering would get worse. In fact, the “beatings” to your psyche and work ethic would continue until your morale improved.

Still want to mentor under me?

I sho’ hope not.

But worry ye not.

I gots a better option:

The “Email Players” newsletter.

It’s my virtual coaching — done by paper & ink each month, which is the next best thing to me being there by your side, whispering in your ear how to write emails that bring in lots and lots of sales.

(Plus, you don’t have to wash my underwear…)

The December issue goes to print Monday.

It’s a perfect “jumping on” issue, too.

Why?

Because it contains 43 “types” of emails where you can open it up to any page, pick a type to write, and go to town.

But a word of warning:

There are no examples to “swipe.”

Nothing to cut, paste or copy.

(Otherwise it’d have been a 100 page issue!)

So you’re expected to think.

To apply it using your own personality and words.

And, to take it seriously.

Otherwise, get thee away.

Go here while there’s still time to get it:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Check out this juicylicious testimonial.

It’s from Jim Clair:

(Head copywriter of Badass Ventures — #1 Company on Clickbank)

“… 2 Emails made oh… just a meager 30k. Probably about 500 words or less. So about 60 bucks a word. It will probably hit well into 40k tonight….I’m loving it man. I really got a killer finger on the pulse. Plus the ‘tune in’ stuff… makes the credibility soar. The guy who said you had no credibility that you referenced in the last newsletter can go buy a bag of sand and pound it. It’s now at $9.63 EPC… and we are the last “big player” in the dating niche to send for it. So all the other top dogs… are only at $7.00 EPC on their emails.”

I’ve got a new title for guys like Jim Clair.

(“Email Players” subscribers who take what I teach and RUN with it.)

He’s not just a “bonified” email copywriter…

He’s “Benified!”

He invests his time each month without excuse.

*Applies* what he learns.

(Doesn’t just nod, file it away and go, “OK, thanks what’s next??”)

And then profits like gangbusters.

He doesn’t whine about information overload.

He stays in the game.

And, he’s always improving himself and keeping that “edge” — knowing the newsletter keeps him on track and that the knowledge compounds on itself month in and month out.

That’s what my over-the-top successful “Benified” Email Players subscribers do.

They play the game hard and win.

And guess what?

The next issue makes it even easier.

Reason why is, it contains all 43 different “types” of emails you can write and profit with that I’ve taught since launching the newsletter back in August 2011.

It’s great “foundational” material.

And, it’s all yours if you subscribe in time to get it.

Go here next:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Not sure if he’d want me saying this.

But, since he wrote about it to his own list publicly, I am going to throw caution to the wind and say it anyway — especially since there’s such a cool email lesson within.

Who am I talking about?

I’m talking about my droog Ryan Fletcher.

We hung out last week in The Burgle.

And, he’s one of the best copywriters on the planet — having written an ad for Agora that raked in $15 million despite their best attempts to weasel their ways out of running it.

(I think it made the nervous nellies squirm.)

Anyway, let’s get to the juicy stuff:

He started talking about the vasectomy he had.

(snip! snip!)

It was kind of one of those TMI things.

But, he said he wrote about it to his list once.

And, he said that got more attention, response, comments, etc than practically anything else he’d ever written!

That’s the power of being real.

Of being YOU.

And, not copying me or anyone else.

Too many lazy losers out there are still trying to ape my style, my personality and my email copy thinking they are “getting away” with it.

(They’re not, I see all… Ben is watching…)

And they’re castrating their sales.

A sales “vasectomy” if you will.

Ah well.

Losers gonna lose.

Just makes it easier for the FEW who of us are original thinkers, and unafraid to take a stand and have a contrary point of view from the masses of asses stick out, make more sales, and, yes, to win.

Thus, the next “Email Players” issue.

It contains 43 different “types” of emails.

All explained in detail.

And, in one handy guide.

This means you won’t struggle with “what” to write.

You just open the issue.

(To any page.)

Pick a kind of email to write.

And then bang it out and move on with your day.

It’s a great “jumping on” issue for people wanting to subscribe — especially if you want to hit the ground running with email and not resort to swiping, copying and looking like an idiot.

Some of the other tips inside include:

• How I used email to profit from a wet dream (how’s that for some TMI for ya?)

• The secret of “ethically lying” in emails.

• A little-known way to profit from your competitor’s emails! (HINT: I ain’t talking about swiping).

• How to use other people’s credibility to sell your products.

• The one kind of email that’s impossible to ever bore anyone with (no matter how dull the subject matter, just do this and they’ll perk up like a fat kid in the candy store).

• What to say in your subject lines that is virtually guaranteed to get people to want to open and read it (especially your BEST prospects who are most likely to buy).

• How to “recruit” celebrities to help you sell in your emails without paying them a single penny.

• How one of the world’s top direct mail copywriters uses ghost stories to almost force people to read his ads (and how to apply it to your emails).

• How to obnoxiously and blatantly pitch in your emails in a way your list will love to read and buy from. (While your timid competition tiptoes around asking for the sale, you’ll scoop up twice as many sales and have a blast doing it.)

• The Gene Schwartz guide to writing hot selling emails. (The late copywriting genius Gene Schwartz probably never even used an email in his whole life — but this tip he taught works like gangbusters in email broadcasts and auto-responders.)

• How to use humor to sell in your emails using this secret of the world’s best stand up comedians.

• The exact best time to use “asshole” emails to (1) get rid of non-buyers (2) make more sales and (3) have a LOT of fun.

• A simple email persuasion “structure” (used by another one of the world’s top direct mail copywriters) that hits all the right points of your reader’s mind to make it a no-brainer to want to buy from you (and only you).

• How to use email to profit from the “50 Shades” book series.

• A “nuclear option” email that can make the sale without your reader knowing the price or even what the product is!

• And a ho’ bunch mo’…

You won’t need to swipe.

You won’t need to copycat.

You won’t even really have to think too hard.

I’ve made this so easy it’s scary.

But, only if you subscribe in time here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

So yesterday I did some righteous wine tasting.

I was with my droogs Trevor Mauch (my biz partner in a local marketing consulting firm) and ex-Agora copywriting bad ass Ryan Fletcher (who wrote an ad that raked in over $15 million they at first refused to even test) who was visiting us in The Burgle.

Anyway, it’s harvest time at ye olde wineries.

And, with harvest comes fruit flies.

LOTS of fruit flies.

Sometimes I think they spontaneously materialize out of some weird pocket dimension, as the second a bottle is opened or uncorked… there they is.

And, they looooove them some Ben.

It’s like I’m doomed to be swarmed by the little bastards.

Why?

I don’t know!

But on Wednesday I took a chick to the same two wineries Trevor and Ryan and I went to yesterday, and even she noticed the fruit flies seem to be especially attracted to me.

I joked maybe it’s some kind of pheromone?

You know… maybe they dig my scent?

(Ben Scentle?)

Whatever it is, they like hovering around me.

And, I’m constantly fighting them off.

Anyway, what’s the point of all this?

Probably, there isn’t one.

I just wanted to share it with you.

Give you a glimpse into my life.

And, yes, “bond” with you more as a result.

That’s what I teach in “Email Players”, after all. And, letting people get a glimpse of your life, your thoughts, your attitudes and your philosophies is part of the “Email Players” newsletter system.

It’s what’ll separate you from the lesser mortals.

And, put more sales in your hot little hand.

Subscription info here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Last week I wrote an email I’d waited my whole life to write.

It was for another site I write for.

(For local entrepreneurs in my town which I call “The Burgle.”)

And, it basically was about this dude in town who was a sort of criminal “mastermind” (well, my imagination made him out to be one, at least heh) who I described to be like the “Heisenberg” (from the show “Breaking Bad”) of The Burgle.

Or, “Heisenburgle”, for short.

Why did I love writing this email so much?

Because I got to work in lots of depth.

Depth being references to the aforementioned “Breaking Bad” show (the greatest show ever created in the entire history of the universe).

Adding depth makes your emails more fun to read (and write).

More exciting.

And, yes, more persuasive.

For example, here’s how I worked the show in… to pitch a consulting deal my droog Trevor Mauch and I offer to local entrepreneurs:

Once you have a working SYSTEM, a whole new world opens. A world without constant financial pressure. A world without stressing about money. And, a world without doubt and fear.

In fact, your competitors will fear *you*.

You won’t be IN danger (of losing out to them.)

You will be THE danger.

That means they will STAY out of your territory.

And, they will SAY your name whenever they are asked about what they are most afraid of in their business.

You can just SMELL the dorkiness, eh?

But, that’s the Ben Settle way of writing emails — creating depth with entertainment value, useful information and selling all wrapped up into one.

That way your emails are not just one key.

They got multiple layers.

Yet, are still easily understood by everyone.

(Kinda like the old Bugs Bunny cartoons — there was the surface humor for the kids, then the political stuff for the adults, entertaining the whole family…)

Hey, it’s a powerful skill.

And, you can only get it one way:

By writing LOTS of emails.

That’s where I can help.

Especially if you subscribe to “Email Players” in time to get the December issue. This baby describes 43 different “kinds” of emails I’ve taught in the newsletter since it launched back in August 2011.

All explained in “plain English.”

And, easily adapted by most any business.

But, the deadline looms.

Get your email lovin’ here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Truly great emailers often fall into 1 of 2 “camps”:

1. A great email copywriter
2. A great email marketer

Rarely is someone equally found in both.

A few fall into extremes.

But, most are slightly tilted one way or the other.

Anyway, here are some “tells” about each:

A great email copywriter will spend hours crafting the perfect subject line — each word carefully chosen using a thesaurus, a swipe file and a pile of magazines, printed out emails and sales letter headlines. He does this because in his heart (often the result of being a trained copywriter) he thinks the headline (subject line) is the most important piece of “real estate” of the entire email.

And, thus the most important part of making the sale.

On the other hand…

A great email marketer knows money is attracted to speed.

He bats his subject lines out FAST.

(Sometimes it’s little more than a brain fart.)

And, he doesn’t worry about it either way — counting on the bond he has with his audience to get a reading more than a subject line will.

A great email copywriter obsesses over metrics.

Like open rates or clickthru rates.

And also which link in the email was clicked most or if the image made any difference in clicks, and so on.

He will be very conversant about email metrics, too.

To him, it’s like a video game:

He just wants to increase his “score” (i.e. his opens and clicks) each time, and that’s how he mainly keeps score.

Not so the great email marketer.

The only “metric” he cares about is did the cash register ring?

If not, the email was a dud.

If it did, it was successful.

He would rather have a 1% open rate and get 10 sales than have 100% opens and zero sales. And if he hits on an especially powerful “nerve” he will write several more emails right after — maybe even for an entire week, milking as much money out of that theme/idea/problem/hot button as possible — judging it’s time to talk about something else not by clicks or opens, but by when sales dwindle down.

A great copywriter mails less frequently.

Maybe, at most, a few times per week.

Reason why is, he opts for quality over quantity, takes great pride in his email writing, and refuses to send anything but the best crafted story or pitch he possibly can.

He also hates opt outs, too.

And, will sometimes even take them personally.

Especially if it’s accompanied by a complaint.

Conversely, a great email marketer mails DAILY.

Sometimes even 2-3 TIMES per day, 7 days per week (especially if he sells in a rabid market of people who are anxious to solve whatever problem his product solves.) In his way of thinking, he’d rather play to win (i.e. make more sales) than play not to lose (not anger his list and get the least amount of opt outs).

Frankly, he celebrates opt outs.

Thinks it’s funny when people complain.

And, in some ways, measures his email’s success (besides the sales) based on the emotional reaction he gets from people who hate him.

A great email copywriter has linking down to a science.

He knows EXACTLY how many links to put in an email.

EXACTLY where to put them.

And EXACTLY how many clicks he can expect.

Since he obsesses over clickthrus, he knows where all the best places to put links are for maximum clicks (i.e. above the fold, in the PS, etc) and spends a lot of time crafting his emails around this “intel” he’s gained from studying all his metrics.

A great email marketer often uses just one link.

Usually, at the end.

And, above his signature.

(He puts as little thought as possible into it.)

He is more concerned with having his email seem natural — like a conversation — than he is on inserting links into an email based on where the most clicks occur. Again, he is all about speed… and knows the less time he puts into one email, the more he has to put into others — so he can have multiple different emails/projects working hard for him instead of just one or two.

Anyway, so there you have it.

Differences between great email copywriters & great email marketers.

Both have their strengths and weaknesses.

And, certain personalities naturally gravitate towards one or the other.

For example, I definitely fall on the side of the marketer vs the copywriter side (and have purposely unlearned many habits I learned over the years of writing copy to make more sales with email). I am all about speed, and getting it done in 15 minutes or so, then moving on to other things.

Life is too short to be chained to a desk all day.

But, I could use a bit more of the email copywriter side.

And vice versa with great email copywriters I know.

The goal is to ultimately embody the best of both worlds.

To be a sort of “bipolar” email badass.

It’s something I work towards each day.

And, you should, too.

Moving on:

The next “Email Players” issue is a doozy:

It shows you 43 different “types” of emails.

Great for email marketers who want to not have to sit there each day wondering what kind of email to write. Simply look at the long list I hand you, pick one, and run with it.

It’s the next best thing to me doing it for you.

What else can you ask for?

(My blood?)

But time grows short.

Subscribe here in time:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Last week got the coolest testimonial a humble and meek (ha) gentleman like yours truly could possibly get.

Like something Howard Stern would get…

Checky:

Subject:
your emails

Message:
I had someone recommend me to you that said… He just hated you and how you pissed him off everyday until one day he realized how awesome you were.

I agree,you’re pretty cool.

Carry on…

Lori

That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

Does this mean you purposely piss people off?

No!

But when you do email the way I teach in my “Email Players” newsletter you are going to be raw and “uncircumsised” in your communication — and that will naturally piss people off who disagree with you or who simply hate anyone who dares have a contrarian opinion.

(Lots of losers like that out there online.)

You still be “you”, of course.

And you taylor it to your personality.

(Not copy mine, only morons do that.)

But you’re brutally honest.

And, you don’t hold back because a few mush cookies might get offended or disagree with your opinion.

That’s how you increase your “brand.”

That how you increase your influence.

And, yes, that’s how you increase your sales.

More:

Next “Email Players” issue is a great year end “finale” — where I went back through ALL 29 issues since launching (back in August 2011) and looked at all the different “kinds” of emails I’ve taught and cataloged them (without the examples — otherwise it’d have been a 100+ page issue).

The result?

43 types of emails explained in one handy guide.

So for example:

One day you can use my “Ethically Fibbing” email.

The next my “Hijacking Credibility” email.

Or the “Let’s Talk About Sex” email.

Followed by the “Defile The Sacred Cows” email.

And so on, as so forth.

You can keep this issue at your desk all the rest of your days and never struggle with what to write. In fact, if you used one of these email types per day, and if you mail 5 days per week, then you have just over two months of email ideas ready to go. I’m always inventing more ways I share in the newsletter. But with just these 43 you can burn through them, then rinse and repeat, month after month and have cool, original emails your buyers will love to read (and buy from).

But this baby goes to print soon.

No time for diddle-dally.

If you want in before it mails, go here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle