Ben Settle

What I’m gonna say might sound strange, silly, maybe even crazy.

But if you market online, it could make a BIG difference in your bottom line.

Listen:

One of the coolest lessons in my copywriting book is about something many of us find rather…

… unsexy.

I know I did until I learned it.

And very few people are teaching this online.

But in Appendix 2, I interviewed Doberman Dan Gallapoo — an extremely savvy marketer who worked side-by-side with the late (great) copywriting & marketing genius Gary Halbert.

DD learned many cool tips and secrets from Gary.

One of which made an exceptionally big difference in his bottom line, but that he had to learn the “hard way”.

Here’s what happened:

It was Christmas many years ago.

Sales were low, and Doberman Dan was down to his last “bullet.”

In fact, sales were so bad, he literally wondered how he was going to put food on the table.

True, he had a big email list for his supplement business.

But the response was extremely weak for whatever reason.

So there he was — with the wolves howling at the door — wondering what to do, when he remembered something Sir Gary of Halbert taught him.

Something that’s FAR from “sexy”.

Something that, frankly, DD did not want to do.

But since his back was to the wall, he figured he had no choice.

So he went into his files and pulled the names of his most recent 1,000 buyers.

But he did not pull their email addresses.

He pulled their SNAIL MAIL addresses.

You remember snail mail, right?

I had almost forgotten about it myself until DD told me his story.

Anyway, so he cranked out a sales letter, sat at his kitchen table and started hand addressing envelopes.

Then, with his last bit of money, he had them printed and mailed.

What happened?

Would you believe a “Christmas Miracle”?

Hey, it happened.

Because just by snail mailing his 1,000 most recent customers, he got FLOODED with orders.

He was just blown away.

So he did it again the next month.

Again, the orders poured in.

Frankly, the moolah came so fast, he broke out his calculator and did some figurin’.

Lo and behold…

Doberman Dan discovered if he’d been snail mailing his most recent customers for the past several years, he would’ve made an extra $100k per YEAR.

And that was a conservative estimate.

Anyway, here’s the point:

If you have a lot of customers and are only using email, you could be leaving a ton of moolah on the table.

I’m dabbling with snail mail myself and in future emails I’ll let you know how it goes.

I once heard Dan Kennedy say (paraphrased): “The best thing that’s happened to email is direct mail.”

With these snail-mailer numbers, that’s pretty hard to dispute.

And by the way, speaking of offline marketing…

Here’s a comment from a pro copywriter about another appendix in The Copywriting Grab Bag:

Ben,

Mike Winicki’s interview ALONE was worth the book price.

Few people understand the power of offline media… fewer know how to use it… let alone give away all those RESOURCES in that interview.

Until I read that interview I was on this wavelength: Yeah, I understand offline is powerful… but HOW do you actually use it step-by-step?

After I read that interview, light bulbs lit up… OH…. THAT’S where you find celebrities and cheap media buys. I wrote to Mike after I read that interview. I HAD to say thank you for all that value.

-Colin Y.J. Chung
Freelance Marketing Strategist

BEN: I hear ya. In some ways Mike’s is the most valuable interview in the book.

He may have zero name recognition, but he’s just a FOUNTAIN of info.

In fact, I remember wanting to just keep asking him questions 😉

As I mentioned yesterday, I’m raising the price next week. So if you want the ‘grab bag, grab it while the grabbin’s good:

Ben Settle

You can learn a LOT about marketing living in a small town.

Not lessons for what to do.

But lessons for what not to do.

Here’s what I mean:

As much as living in a small town suits my introverted, Big Foot-hunting ways, it’s sometimes painful watching the local businesses commit suicide.

It’s like they do the exact OPPOSITE of what smart businesses do.

In fact, it totally reminds me of “Bizarro” Superman.

Bizarro Superman is like Superman’s exact opposite who lives in the backwards Bizarro world.

In other words…

Up is down, down is up, he says hello when he leaves, says goodbye when he arrives, has freeze vision (instead of heat vision), flame breath (instead of frost breath), etc.

And that’s exactly how many of these local businesses operate.

For example, we got Bizarro customer service.

Instead of making you want to come back and even tell your friends… you get yahoos at the counter purposely making people stand in line for several minutes while they talk to a friend in line or on their cell phones.

We also got Bizarro hotel staff.

Instead of hiring competent people who, you know, tend to do a good job, some of these locals ONLY hire cronies and family members who KNOW they can’t be fired and treat people (especially tourists — the town’s “bread ‘n butter”) like lepers.

Heck, we’ve even got Bizarro INVESTORS around here.

This one dude’s pouring $30 million smackeroos into a new, high-end hotel/spa/thingy seemingly without much accountability or strategy.

Believe it or not, a chamber of commerce person actually said:

“We don’t need customers, we got $30 million.”

Dumb.

Anyway, here’s the point:

All of this is the exact OPPOSITE of what (most of us) do in marketing — where we test, measure and bend over backwards to make customers happy.

And it really puts things in perspective.

It also proves the late Earl Nightingale right when he said:

“If you want to succeed, just look around at what everyone else is doing, and do the exact opposite.”

That simple advice has served me well for a long time now.

And it can serve you well, too.

When you see the “bizarro marketers” out there doing things you know are hurting them, even if they have “goo roo” status, do the opposite.

Fight that urge to blindly follow people, and do what’s right.

Do that, and you’ll probably never go wrong.

Ben Settle

P.S. Speaking of “Bizarro marketing”…

Last time I raised The Copywriting Grab Bag price, I caught hell because I didn’t give a “warning” like everyone else does.

Instead of hammering you with emails about it, I pulled a “Bizarro” and didn’t say anything.

So this time I’ll do it “proper”:

The price is going up again next week.

So if you’re on the fence about getting it, now’s the time to “grab” your copywriting book:

Can Beavis & Butthead make you a better copywriter?

I believe so.

They did for me, at least.

In fact, each and every episode contains a powerful copywriting secret you can use to make your ads FAR more likely to be read, understood and BOUGHT from.

Here’s the story:

About 14 years ago, just after I graduated high school, I took a job at Office Max.

I often worked late, and didn’t get out until about 10 pm or so.

So I’d go home, flip on the boob-toob and, lo and behold, the only thing I felt like watching was… you guessed it… Beavis & Butthead.

Now, if you’ve never seen Beavis & Butthead, let’s just say it’s “raunchy”. Not NEARLY as raunchy as some of today’s cartoons (it’s no “South Park”). But it was still a pretty raunchy show for its time.

Raunchy… but oh SO entertaining.

Anyway, so I’d watch the show and, like most people who watched it, would find myself sometimes quoting the show.

As they would make up such colorful words to insult each other: Dill hole, butt munch, monkey spank, etc — and the list goes on.

There was never one intelligent word spoken.

Never anything to increase your IQ.

Certainly never anything you’d ever get confused about.

And you know what?

Strange as it sounds, I’ve sorta “recruited” Beavis & Butthead to help me write better ads since.

Because whenever I write an ad (depending on the market), in order to make sure my ads are 100% crystal clear to read, digest and respond to… I tend to ask:

“Would Beavis & Butthead get what I’m saying here?”

“Could they grasp that I want them to click on this link to order?”

And so on, and so forth.

Hey, it may sound stoopid (let’s face it, it IS stoopid).

But it works like gangbusters to make ads clear and easy to read.

Maybe you’ve heard the statistics about how the average person (at least here in the US) reads at a 5th grade level.

And that, when writing ads, that’s the level to write at.

But I say take it a step further and write at the “Beavis & Butthead level.”

If THEY can understand it, ANYONE can.

And the easier your ads are to read, the more moolah you’ll make.

Anyway, that’s a wrap for today.

You can learn more bizarre ways to make your ads easier to buy from in The Copywriting Grab Bag:

Ben Settle

Remember that “marketing monsters” email from Friday?

The one about all the “monsters” waiting in the shadows, ready to leap out at you and suck up your moolah?

Well, guess what?

I gotta “sequel” for you today with even MORE monsters and how to defend against them.

Here they are…

Freebie-Seeking Frankenstein

This monster roams the countryside looking to attach new parts to his body.

And after you’ve given him a free arm, leg or other valuable part of yourself… he doesn’t stop.

He relentlessly lurches towards you, arms stretched out in front of him, chasing you around to give him even MORE free stuff.

Unfortunately, you can never defeat him.

He’s practically immortal.

But you CAN ward him off.

First by ONLY giving him something small.

And second, by making it crystal clear everything else must be paid for.

Customer Service Chupacabra

Most don’t believe this “thing” even exists.

And even those who do, think it only attacks OTHER people.

But once you buy something from him, you’ll realize this reptile-like being, with razor-sharp quills on its back, is all too REAL.

And the legends ARE true.

Some of his favorite attacks include:

Putting giant barriers up to prevent you from asking questions about products you bought… refusing to admit he screwed up… making you spend weeks to get the simplest of problems fixed… and even treating you like a leper when you DO get his attention.

What can you do to stop him?

Ask your fellow travelers where he lurks before going out at night.

Avoid the dark, shadowy corners of the Internet where he dwells.

And ALWAYS beware who you buy from.

Testing & Measuring Medusa

This being can be VERY dangerous to newbies.

You see, she likes to test, track and measure everything.

Which is good.

But the danger comes when you gaze into her eyes — and she paralyzes you with too many options, ideas and her maze of testing data.

So much so you may get overwhelmed… and never do anything.

Plus, her data rarely helps, anyway.

As it’s usually specific to her products and market.

Still, there IS treasure in her cave you can profit from.

Just don’t gaze into her eyes and let her turn your marketing efforts to stone.

Content Stealing Cyclops

This insidious monster has just one eye.

And it’s always fixed on OTHER peoples’ content and stealing it.

He never speaks or talks. He just grunts and snarls and glowers over everyone’s content with his one, piercing eye.

When he finds something he likes, he shamelessly takes it (with no regard to ethics, rules or copyright laws) and puts it on HIS websites.

To make matters worse:

It’s almost IMPOSSIBLE to find his lair.

He has no email, phone number or contact info.

And since he puts your content on sites like “blogspot” blogs, you have no recourse except jumping through hundreds of hoops that are not worth your time.

There’s not much you can do about this one.

But there are ways to use his evil deeds to your advantage if you use a little strategy.

OK fellow traveler, that’s it for today.

These are some of the most ruthless monsters roaming the countryside.

If you want to protect yourself, get thee to the castle armory and strap a copy of The Copywriting Grab Bag to your side:

It’s the ultimate weapon to defeat these vile fiends.

As well as protect the customers in your niche.

Ben Settle

Got this bizarre book at the library yesterday called:

VERY cool book.

It’s a HUGE alphabetical listing of every monster from every book, movie, TV show, myth, legend and comic book you can think of — from the “Acromegalic” (whatever that is) to the “Zombie Legion.”

Anyway, reading it got me thinking about real life monsters.

You know, the kind we see in the **marketing** world.

Except our monsters are actually scarier.

And while they don’t kill you physically… they can kill you financially.

Here are a few of the nastier ones out to watch out for:

Hydra of Hype:

You often see this giant, dragon-like thing with multiple heads in highly competitive niches — like wate loss, biz opp, work-at-home, etc.

And each time the law cuts one of its heads off, a new, even MORE hypey head re-grows in its place — breathing even MORE fiery hype, screaming headlines and exaggerated claims they can’t back up.

The law cannot slay this beast because of its regrowing heads.

However, it’s easily avoided.

As you can always hear it coming a mile away.

Lying Leviathan

This monster has razor-sharp teeth and his scales are impervious to arrows, swords and (unfortunately) reason & decency.

He likes to lurk in the ocean, sneaking up on unsuspecting consumers who wouldn’t believe in a million years he would have the gall to blatantly lie through his knife-like teeth the way he does.

And he has no problem gobbling up your money in exchange for products and services that don’t deliver.

Luckily, others who’ve seen him will often warn you in advance.

Pay attention to your fellow travelers and you can avoid the lying leviathan’s favorite feeding grounds.

Creature From The Broke Lagoon

This thing is slippery like a fish and is hard to catch.

He likes to swim around forums, blogs and anywhere else he can parrot bad advice that’ll keep you broke.

The difference between him and the other monsters is this creature doesn’t KNOW he’s doing bad.

In fact, he thinks he’s doing GOOD.

He thinks his half-baked advice based on theories and hearsay work — even though they have never worked for HIM.

But since he needs to survive, he tries to sell it to others.

Usually as an affiliate for something he’s never used.

Stay away from his swamps — like forums — and you’re safe.

The Swipe & Steal Slime

This shapeless mass of goo (roo) oozes around the Internet — absorbing everyone else’s ideas, ads, and sales letters.

And then, when he wants to pitch something, shamelessly takes whatever he’s absorbed and uses it as his (or her — there are female swipe & steal slimes, too) own.

There’s not much you can do about these monsters.

They’re impossible to catch since they have no real “substance”.

But it’s good to be aware of them.

And not to let them absorb YOU and make you a blob like them.

Manipulation Zombies

On the surface, these pitiful undead things LOOK normal.

But look closely, and you see they have no conscience.

No feeling.

No caring about anyone or anything (not even themselves).

And so they use manipulation, tricks and “black hat” tactics all day long.

They don’t know any other way.

Lying, cheating, and milking you of every last cent you own is as easy and “routine” for these monsters as you and I ordering a hamburger at McDonalds.

And they are VERY good at what they do.

So good in fact, other marketers (especially those just starting out) are tempted to emulate their wicked ways.

Don’t do it.

It will take you down a path from which you may never return.

Anyway, those are a few marketing monsters to watch for.

They are all over the place — especially on the Internet.

Watch your azz.

Ben Settle

P.S. The best DEFENSE against these monsters is a good OFFENSE. The Copywriting Grab Bag contains over 122 different “weapons” that can help you defeat any of the monsters in the business arena — and save your fellow country folk from their terrible ways.

You can “grab” it now at:

Got something really cool to share today.

It’s a “snippet” of an email my friend and AdWords “scientist” (literally — he’s a computer scientist) Jim Yaghi sent me yesterday.

Anyway, here’s the story:

I had sent him my copywriting book and (in passing) mentioned how I use the comic book ads included on the CD to write lots and lots of different AdWords ads.

As certain comic book ads make great AdWords ad “templates.”

And that’s when he emailed me an AWESOME copywriting tip I’d never even thought of before.

A tip that’s already making writing ads far easier.

In fact, I found it so valuable, I asked if I could share it.

He gave me the “green light” and so here we go….

Pretty cool, eh?

This is extremely valuable advice.

It’s especially handy when you can’t think of a unique way to describe something.

So thank you Jim!

And by the way, if you do PPC check out Jim’s site.

He’s a computer scientist who figured out some “back door” ways of using AdWords you will probably not hear anywhere else.

Ben Settle

P.S. BTW, if you have already bought The Copywriting Grab Bag and are using AdWords, check out the comic book ads on the CD.

I’ve been using them to bang out hundreds of different ads very quickly.

Those old time comic book ad writers really understood how to write powerful ads that seep right into a person’s psychology and brain in just a few lines.

And they make a great PPC ad “swipe file.”

I swear…

Something’s in the air besides Spring right now.

I’ve suddenly been getting a TON of quextions about email copywriting & marketing.

Such as why do I send DAILY emails instead of weekly or monthly?

Why do I **butcher** the English language so much?

And how come I sometimes do the exact opposite of what many of the “goo-roos” do?

But you know what?

By FAR the most axed question has been:

And the answer is “no”.

As much as I LOVE email marketing (more than any other kind), I doubt I’ll ever have a course.

Even if I did, it’d be very, very expensive.

And probably only available to people who have bought my copywriting book.

But here’s the good newz:

I have NO problem telling you who my biggest email influences are.

The email “studs” I’ve learned and made the most moolah from.

So without further ado, here goes…

1. Matt Furey

Matt is numero uno for me.

I spent 5 years trying to “reverse engineer” his emails with no luck.

In fact, the more I tried, the WORSE my results.

After I got his big course last year, it all “clicked” (no pun intended).

See, you cannot learn MF’s system just by reading his emails.

There’s a powerful mindset and **strategy** behind them.

Anyway, if you can find his course (it doesn’t seem to be for sale right now) snatch that sucker.

I’m on my 9th time through it and am STILL pulling gems out.

2. Terry Dean

Terry is one of email marketing’s “pioneers.”

In fact, a lot of the Internet marketing and email stuff we all take for granted today came from Terry’s sweat and hard work.

And his email course (which is “chump change” compared to what you get) reveals ALL the cool things he’s learned from his testing with his and his client’s giant Internet marketing businesses.

It’s truly a “gold mine” of insights and advanced email strategies.

You can grab it at:

3. Jay White

If you’re on any “guru” lists, you’re already reading Jay’s emails.

His clients include dudes like Alex Mandossian, Stephen Pierce, Rich Schefren, Jeff Walker, and a bunch of other “players.”

And you wanna know what?

Jay just created his own course that he sells via AWAI (just google it and you can find it pretty easy).

Anyway, if you’re interested in taking your email marketing to the next “level”, these 3 guys come with my HIGHEST recommendation.

If nothing else, hop on their lists.

Just seeing these guys do their thing is an advanced email copywriting education in itself.

Ben Settle

UPDATE 6-18-10: I have since changed my mind and DID create an email course. It’s pretty expensive, and not meant for everyone. However, if you’re interested go to www.StreetSmartEmail.com

I ever tell you how I live in “Big Foot” country?

No joke.

In fact, I’m not far from Del Norte County, CA — near where that famous Big Foot clip from the 1960’s was shot.

And for a split second yesterday… I thought I saw him!

Here’s what happened:

I was driving along a back road outside town, minding my own business, when I saw this tall, and extremely hairy, thing walking along the road.

From a distance it looked EXACTLY like what I’d read of Big Foot.

But as I got closer I saw it wasn’t BF.

It wasn’t even a bear or some other animal.

Just a scraggly-looking hippy trying to thumb a ride.

Bummer.

Even so, the event got me thinking about something.

Something I believe can help your sales BIG TIME.

Here’s what I mean:

Believe it or not, Big Foot is big business for some people.

Since nobody has ever caught him (or them, whatever), and nobody has even gotten a 100% authenticated photo or movie of him, he’s truly become a legend.

Not only here in the Pacific Northwest — but around the world.

Almost everyone knows exactly who he his.

Exactly what he looks like.

And exactly what you mean when you mention his name.

In other words, he’s got MASSIVE personal branding.

And because of that, money is attracted to him like a magnet.

And guess what?

You and I can use this strategy in our businesses, too.

In fact, we have some “Big Foots” in the business world now.

Think of guys like Bill Gates.

Or Donald Trump.

Or (in marketing) Jay Abraham and Dan Kennedy.

All “Business Big Foots” — instantly identifiable (and even recognizable) by name, face and reputation.

Only question is HOW do they do it?

And (even more importantly) how you can you and I do it?

There are LOTS of ways to build your personal brand like this.

For example:

You can do what Walt Disney said — and run your business in such a way others can’t HELP but tell everyone they know about you.

You can also run the speaking circuit and get known REAL fast.

Another good way is to position yourself as the person at the top of the mountain in your niche — such as with outrageously expensive prices/fees (remember those $25k Jay Abraham seminars — whoa!)

There are also a few ways in my copywriting book.

Such as routinely getting yourself in the mass media — TV, radio and print — the way I explain in appendix 11.

Or using ordinary articles like marketing genius Mike Winicki does on page 195.

Or using email the way Terry Dean reveals on page 271.

Really, there are LOTS of ways to be the “Big Foot” of your niche.

The person everyone wants to meet, do business with… and even pretend they “discovered” when talking to their friends.

Whatever the case, it’s worth some SERIOUS thought.

It’s the ultimate in market positioning.

And makes selling a breeze.

Ben Settle

Remember the recent email about price shoppers vs investors?

The one where, at the end I said that, although the email was a blatant sales pitch, there was a “hidden” sales lesson in it?

And how I also asked if you saw the lesson?

Well, let’s just say the response has been VERY interesting.

Most people who responded caught one of them.

But only one subscriber caught all 3.

Here is what she said about the email and also my copywriting book:

Shirley, thank you so much for taking the time to write that.

You definitely nailed 3 big lessons from that email.

Posture being the one everyone else missed.

Funny how these are not “copywriting”, but old fashioned SALES strategies, eh?

It’s no coincidence that day’s book sales were higher than the previous several days **combined**.

As the great copywriters have said over the past 100 years:

If you want to get good at copywriting, study SELLING.

Because let’s face it:

It’s not exactly a walk in the park trying to persuade a complete stranger, who can’t see or hear you, to give up their hard-earned moolah (especially now) to buy something they didn’t even know existed 5 minutes ago.

And yet master salesmen — especially the “belly-to-belly” kind — sell to skeptical strangers all the time.

Study both sales AND copywriting masters, and you won’t go wrong.

Anyway, That’s it for today.

Next time… something wild and wacky.

Ben Settle

P.S. The best copywriters are almost always savvy sales pros. And many of the ones I interviewed in my copywriting book are tops at selling face-to-face as well as in print.