Ben Settle

One of the most intriguing facts about how Disney got so big I first heard a couple years ago is this:

They put enormous thought, planning, effort, & expense into the little things probably only 10% of their customers will ever see or notice, but that turns those 10% of people into upwards of 70%, 80%, even 90% of their sales.

Especially if you factor in referrals, word-of-mouth, etc.

But it ain’t just Disney that figured this out.

Steve Jobs did the exact same with Apple Computers.

In fact, one word Jobs used a lot was:

“Craftsmanship”

Believe it or not, that single word can work almost like magic to build the proverbial business empire & create the proverbial marketing king. In Jobs’ case, he was inspired as a child by his father who was an expert craftsman. His father used to tell Steve that when building a cabinet, for example, you use the highest quality wood and put just as much effort into the design and the parts a customer will probably never, ever see (the back of the cabinet, the interior, etc) as you do the parts they will see. Years later, Jobs had his engineers at Apple do the same with their computers and phones and other gadgets. In many cases, they put the highest quality parts and used the highest, most expensive metals & screws for the parts nobody but maybe an Apple engineer or repairman who opened it up would see.

The shallow thinker & low information marketer won’t see the wisdom in that.

But the bigger thinker will.

And they will see because, if nothing else, it connects the dots that if Disney & Apple — two of the most profitable businesses that ever existed — do that, then we all should.

Whatever the case:

While I’m not a huge fan of the Disney company, especially with how they are so rapidly destroying brands millions of fans used to like… I am a fan of the way they systematized the ways in which they extract as much money out of their customers as humanly possible… while leaving those same customers happier, more fulfilled, and eager to tell everyone they know about how great giving that money to Disney was.

Which brings me to the rub:

The December “Email Players” issue.

It teaches a very special kind of “craftsmanship.”

Not the kind Jobs used to build computers… but the kind Disney and other smart companies have done to build gigantic, generations-spanning, customer bases of what I call “berserker customers” — who, like Jobs’ fans, practically froth at the mouth to buy, refer, and enjoy whatever it is you sell to the farthest extent possible.

Ain’t nothing else that works like this skill, in my experience.

It can potentially make price irrelevant.

It can potentially make you and/or your product/service’s flaws irrelevant.

It can even potentially make any lack of experience a raw & wriggling newbie struggles with irrelevant.

Tomorrow (11/30/20) is the deadline to subscribe in time to get this issue.

If you want it, here it is, come get it:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

I never thought I’d write the following words.

But the DMV is no longer its own circle of hell.

And to prove it, a true story:

This past July Stefania and I had to go to the local DMV — she to get her Oregon drivers license, and me to renew mine. We went on the same day. But, we did not wait in line. We did not have to stand around or sit near smelly, dirty, and obnoxious people.

Frankly, we did not even “wait” at all.

Believe it or not, we had a pleasant experience.

I still cannot believe it.

But fact is, due to Covid, you had to make an appointment to go to the DMV in my area. And, when you’re there… you are the ONLY one there.

There is no line.

Everything is sprayed down & clean.

And there are no rushed & frustrated employees who look like they’d rather be getting a prostate exam than doing their jobs. The staff was extremely friendly and helpful, including getting on the phone with social security for Stefania for almost an hour on her behalf. Apparently, due to a laundry list of reasons outside her control, they technically were not supposed to give Stefania a license at that time. But they pulled some kind of strings for her, at the main office in the Capitol, and got it done on the spot.

There is no way that’d have happened with a huge line & miserable employees who hate their jobs.

Anyway, I couldn’t help but wonder:

“Why don’t they always offer this option?”

I suspect many people — like me! — would happily pay a premium just to be able to get that kind of experience at a DMV, skip the line, have an entire hour dedicated just to me, with nobody else, no lines, and no having to deal with people.

About the only thing that’d have made it more pleasurable is if they’d been serving food & drinks.

Whatever the case:

I write about this in more detail in the December “Email Players” issue.

Specifically, how to “tap” into what the DMV and many otherwise miserable institutions have been doing just to survive to make giving your business money so fun and, yes, pleasurable… if you do it right, it can make price, your copywriting/marketing skills, and any other drawbacks, weaknesses, or “flaws” in your business irrelevant.

Let’s face it:

If the DMV can do it, you can.

To get your hands on this issue you’ll have to hurry.

It goes to the printer very soon.

After that?

Too late…

Here’s the link:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Following is a brief email exchange with a procrastinator who thought – in his infinite snow flake-ish-ness – he should be allowed to get the bonuses offered with the $20 Gene Schwartz offer I did in September after the deadline.

If I banned or blocked you or someone you know from buying, this’ll illustrate why:

PROCRASTINATOR: I sent you an email some hours ago. I wanted to purchase the course but the payment link wasn’t working. Can you please send me the link with the same offer?

elBENBO: The link went down at midnight PDT last night that was the deadline, you had all weekend to buy

PROCRASTINATOR: I sent you an email before the offer would expire. You can check. I tried and it wasn’t working. Could you try again please?

elBENBO: …your email came 2 minutes after the deadline…and the P.S. literally said: “Direct any customer service questions to Michael Senoff, not me.” You done screwed up by first procrastinating and second by not reading instructions

PROCRASTINATOR: Great customer service man! You’re the best

There are many ways this sort of thing makes my business lots of sales.

One of the main reasons is the act of trying to test (i.e., break) people. It always brings the crazy out of the crazies & the truth out of the irresponsible, so I can identify & ban them. (Incidentally, I will be dedicating an entire Email Players issue to this very topic and how to do it some time in 2021.) And by curating out the low class would-be customers & procrastinators who can’t even follow simple instructions like the guy above, I have more time, energy, and “bandwidth” to serve the high class legitimate customers.

And the longer I am in business, the more aggressive I get about it.

Frankly, these days, Yours Crotchety bans people for the slightest of infractions.

Take these schlubs who wanted back in “Email Players” for example:

“Thanks for the reply. i didn’t know about the possibility of not being able to re-subscribe and i only wanted get the first issue before proceeding (no evil intended). Really sorry i cannot re-subscribe. Like my first email, i intended to re-subscribe hopefully at the beginning of the next month(November) so i can be on track for prompt receipt. If you could have a change of mind on the ban, i am always at your door to subscribe. thanks again for your time Ben.”

The result:

BANNED! for lack of faith.

Here’s another:

“I have been a member of the Email Players newsletter for a few months and have learned quite a bit about writing emails. Unfortunately, I have to cancel the membership, at least for a short time. My wife and I got an opportunity to relocate and will be moving this month. We will be without an address for a couple of months. Nomads so to speak while we wait for our new home to close and be updated. I know your policy is to never let anyone back in once they leave, but I am hoping that under the circumstances you may reconsider. If not, I understand. I appreciate your thoughts on this, but either way, I understand.”

The result:

BANNED! for lack of imagination.

One more:

“You’re keeping your word and not letting me back in the email players newsletter. I do appreciate it. Can you please let me back in? PLEASE for the love of god. I’ll pay for the entire year if that makes any difference, and I will never quit again. Can you please please please please. Make an exception? A few of my friends are already subscribers and doing monthly implementations and I want to pay for the newsletter and be in the group. Please?”

The result:

BANNED! for quitting Email Players twice prior (he somehow snuck back in).

And also, for not being as smart as his friends.

And the BANNED marches on.

Anyway, here’s the point:

On the surface it looks like I am losing sales banning all these schlubs wanting back in.

But after some 20 years up in this business, and testing and experimenting and aggressively practicing what I preach & teach about this… I have only seen growth, a business with more high class customers than anyone else I know… and a peace of mind most business’ always catering to & chasing down anyone willing to give them money will never understand.

I talk more about this in the December “Email Players” issue.

Specifically, in the bonus elBenbo’s Lair insert.

I also show some more examples of the BANNED & Banished.

The deadline to get the December issue is coming up quick.

To subscribe in time, go here immediately:

www.EmailPlayers.com

The deadline to get in on time is Nov 30 2020.

Ben Settle

Recently, I’ve been listening to an audio book (KISS: Keep It Simple Salesman) by the late “world’s greatest salesman”:

Fred Herman.

If you don’t know who Fred Herman was and sell in any way, shape, or form for a living than you, my Pet, have been doing your studying in the wrong library.

Fred was easily one of the greatest salesman who ever lived.

And Earl Nightingale knighted Fred the best sales trainer on the planet.

He became especially famous after being on Johnny Carson and selling Johnny his own ash tray in front of 20 million fans.

Anyway, I highly recommend anything by Fred Herman.

And in the book he pulls a lot of sales tips out of the Bible.

My favorite being about customer curation, and selling to the right people in the first place.

Specifically, this quote from scripture:

“Why seek ye the living among the dead?”

Why indeed.

It’s astounding to me how many times an “Email Players” subscriber will take advantage of the opportunity to ask Yours Crotchety questions (a perk for subscribing) by email, and it’s completely obvious they are not selling to buyers, or are targeting leads that only buy on price or have never bought anything from anyone, or don’t have money to buy anything even if they wanted to buy.

Those are dead leads.

Why seek ye them, my Child?

Especially when there are so many living ones to sell to?

Which brings me to the December “Email Players” issue.

The skill it teaches inside its crisp, lily-white pages can make separating the living from the dead on your list not only a very simple task, but a potentially very profitable task, too.

In many ways it’s the single most profitable skill you can ever learn in business.

Far more profitable than even copywriting, marketing, or selling.

The deadline to get in on this action is almost upon you.

To subscribe in time, stretch out thy fingers and click this link:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

I suspect this subject line is a bit too “R-rated” for some.

Almost certainly offensive to others.

And I suppose for a bunch of my hoary & hairy horde of customers & spectators alike, it might even sound completely stupid at best and downright impossible at worst.

But I suspect everyone’ll agree:

If you could somehow make giving your business money a overwhelmingly pleasurable & exciting act for your list, market, customers, and clients… and if you can make it something they not only don’t mind doing but look forward to doing and can’t wait to do… and if you can make it an act where maybe even certain (natural & pleasant) chemical & hormonal reactions occur in their brains & bodies… I daresay you’d never have to worry about the income side of your business ever again.

I also daresay you’ll never have any real competition, either.

And, I further daresay you’ll have turned your business into something quite different than it is now.

A tall order?

We don’t deal in midget orders here in elBenbo’s Lair.

And as certain smart business owners on m list will see, the promise of this is not only possible, it’s something you can start doing almost immediately — even the same day you learn how it’s done.

Something I just happen to teach in great detail in the December “Email Players” issue.

I waited til December to publish this particular issue for a reason.

I want my Email Players of the Horde to end 2020 with a loud, thunderous BANG.

Not the limp, underwhelming whimper all your Facebook friends obsessed with fake 3rd world-style dictatorship elections & overblown virus hysteria can’t even begin to fathom in their small, pea-sized imaginations that have been clogged up with fear, social media addiction, and self-induced cognitive dissonance will end their year with.

Another reason to hop on the EP-train:

I’m raising the price of “Email Players” starting January 1st.

What that means is this:

Anyone in before that date is “grandfathered” in at the current price forever. Unless, of course, they squirt off into the sunset by canceling. By announcing this here, I run the risk of turning on the dopamine-addicted price shoppers — i.e., new product junkies who are addicted to the dopamine drip they get whenever they buy something new, and thus are always looking for excuses to buy, but never commit to anything, consume anything, or do anything.

But those losers never get any real value out of “Email Players.”

And, thus, should stay far away from me, my newsletter, my books, or even my free emails.

A word to the wise is sufficient…

Whatever the case, go here to subscribe in time to get the December issue:

www.EmailPlayers.com

The deadline is Dec 31, 2020.

After that, too late…

Ben Settle

Came a question from an “Email Players” subscriber.

I know you talked about how you don’t pay attention to open rates.

Still…

Even with my tiny-small list I can see, let’s say tendencies, with regard to ORs.

At what point (what list size) can I take those parameters serious?

The short answer:

Almost never.

It’s an almost completely pointless vanity metric, possibly only a little more useful than your last Frogger arcade game score from 1981. There is far more power in the consistency you send emails and in focusing on getting better each day. And while I won’t say open rates have zero value — as there are a few times where it makes sense to track them, like to monitor the overall health of your list for example — don’t fool yourself into thinking they have anything to do with sales or anything but maybe an ego boost or bragging points in a Facebook group full of copywriters who find such vanity metrics worthy of getting excited about.

On that note:

Following are 12 far more important markers than open rates.

1. Sales — the ultimate engagement (see the next one), plus if money is the game, sales is the scoreboard

2. Replies/engagement — ESPs like Gmail & Yahoo tend to give more inbox delivery love (instead of shunting you to the spam or promotions folders) to you when you get replies from your list, since they see you as a person and not a worthless spammer

3. Clicks — which means engagement, and are far more practically useful than opens

4. Opt outs — probably don’t count as “engagement”, but if you aren’t getting lots of opt-outs you ain’t doing it right

5. Complaints/trolls — which, ironically, help your overall delivery since they are engaging with you (i.e., why trolls are your unpaid interns if you let them be)

6. Testimonials — not just for the engagement factor, but the practical factor too

7. Questions — even more engagement, plus can make great fodder for future emails

8. Customer service requests — yet more engagement, plus probably the greatest opportunity for selling there is

9. Interview request reply to an email — not only means engagement, but interviews are great for list-building

10. Forwards — if people are forwarding your emails to their friends, social media, etc, that can lead to referrals & a bigger list

11. JV proposal reply to an email — not only does this mean engagement, but could also mean new business

12. Spam complaints — not a good thing, but does tell you your lead gen & curation is weak, an important thing to know in the grand scheme of things

The goo-roo fanboys won’t like this list much.

But if you care what they think, you got bigger problems than open rates.

All right, on to the business:

My “Email Players” methodology is designed to get you far more of the 12 actions above than you are getting now. The evergreen info is in the “Email Players Skhema Book” I give to new subscribers, with the ongoing stuff in the monthly newsletter.

Speaking of which:

The November issue is all about copywriting.

And, specifically, mastering copywriting.

Not just being good or even great at it — but mastering it.

If that appeals to you, go here before the looming 10/31/20 deadline to get this issue:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Behold an email I got not long ago:

For someone reason, I’m blacklisted from your emails

I’ve tried to opt into your list multiple times and with different emails. Each time I get the welcome email but not your broadcasts (weird I know).

My coach and mentor says I need to get onto your list ASAP to learn from ya.

Hope you can help me out.

My response?

Ignored.

And the reason why is because of the email addresses he was using. For the last several years, I’ve instituted a policy for new website subscribers where whenever someone with an email address containing the word “swipe”, or “swipes” or anything related to that subscribes… I delete ’em on sight.

Why?

Because they’re most likely clueless.

And almost certainly subscribing for the wrong reasons.

Yes, I used to be a big fan of swiping, too.

But when I started doing copywriting assignments in the really competitive markets, I discovered I could only keep relying on swipe files for as long as I could afford to lose. And these One Swipe Suzies who can’t think or problem solve, and who infest the online marketing world are not only doing themselves a disservice, but they make for terrible customers for Yours Unruly, too.

I’m not saying to not have a swipe file.

But, for emails, they are especially overrated.

And, especially stupid.

Here are a few reasons why:

• Ad appeals that worked before for an email (or for someone’s unique personality) may not work for you
• Sometimes ads that “killed it” (supposedly) did so only because the other ads they competed against sucked
• Market “awareness” often changes
• Market sophistication often changes (See Gene Schwartz’s “Breakthrough Advertising” book for more on “awareness” and “sophistication”)
• Possible copyright infringement
• You simply cannot “swipe” a personality — and the best emails are heavily personality-based

Again, I’m not anti-swipe file.

I’m just anti swiping the way a lot of internet marketers and copywriters do it. Swipe files are great for idea generation, inspiration, and templates for headlines, opening paragraphs, bullets, etc.

But the ways most do it?

Stoopid on a stick.

Especially with emails, where it’s the mark of a loser to swipe them.

So that’s that.

A few of these idiots who put the word “swipe” in their emails slip through.

But I catch most of ‘em.

And am always on the lookout for any I missed.

All right, on to the business:

As far as people obsessed with swipe files go, I highly advise against those types being in my World at al. But this goes quadruple for the November “Email Players” issue which is about copywriting mastery, and will go completely over the head of anyone relying upon, looking for, or bragging about their swipe files. If that’s you, realize you are the opposite of the kind of customer this issue is intended for.

It ain’t personal.

It’s simply how it is.

On the other hand, if you want to work hard, and if you are the type to embrace hard work, then I believe this issue’ll probably be right up your alley.

To subscribe in time before I send it to the printer, go here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

An amusing fact:

Napoleon Hill’s original title for his mega-bestselling book “Think And Grow Rich” was…

“Use Your Noodle To Win More Boodle”

Almost painful to read.

Yet, that book is one of the best-selling books of all time. But, do you think it would have sold as much with that moronic title “Use Your Noodle To Win More Boodle”? Even with the exact same content inside?

Of course not.

Such is the power of titles.

Your title is the “headline” for your product.

If you write a lame title or (even worse) swipe someone else’s title because you’re too lazy to do your own title (making yourself look like a hack at best, and a fraud at worst), your sales won’t be anywhere near where they should and could be.

Anyway, here’s the point:

Over the years, I’ve helped certain people cook up many million dollar titles. Like, for example, my pal Ray Higdon with his bestselling “3-Minute Expert” program that my ego would like to believe (whether accurate or not…), helped it nab at least some of its millions in sales over the years.

In fact, after that, some of his friends asked for my help with titling.

Like Mark Harbert and his “No Fear Video Marketing” product I invented the title for.

And, even to this day, people ask me for help with this.

And because I’m sick of people asking me, and because I can’t be bothered to work for free or work for a consulting fee to help them, I’m going to give away my big “secret” for creating titles right here and now, and simply reference people back to this email.

I freely admit I got this secret from studying the late Stan Lee.

And here it is:

A title just has to SOUND good.

Stan Lee had no idea what a “gamma ray” was that created the Hulk or what a “cosmic ray” was that created the Fantastic Four. But they sure sounded good. In fact, he did such a good job creating the country Latveria (Doctor Doom’s country) that fans used to ask him if it was a real place! Same with the writers of “The Amazing Spider-Man” movie using “decay rate algorithm”, or the writers of the movie “Backdraft” dreaming up “Trychtichlorate”, or the writers of the TV show Fringe making up “Cortexiphan.”

And so on, and so forth.

More:

Sounding good is only half the battle.

You also have to sum up the “essence” of the product in two or three words.

Thus, why a lot of my titles are also a result of nearly two decades of practicing, honing, and digging deep into the art & craft of writing sales copy. And, especially doing the drills I give in the upcoming November “Email Players” issue. These drills are excruciatingly tedious, boring, and mentally taxing. But I did each and every one of them when I was getting started, and were based off what some of my favorite copywriters and also comicbook artists did to excel and master their craft.

This is why I say you cannot “casually” read this issue.

You have to be mentally, emotionally, and psychologically engaged with the material.

Otherwise, there’s no point.

If you still want in on this issue, go here right away before the deadline:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

This last Summer I watched one of the most titillating documentaries on Amazon Prime I’ve ever done seen called:

“Ray Harryhausen: Special Effects Titan”

If you love those old stop-go animated movies like the old Sinbad flicks, etc, you’ll dig it.

As a kid I couldn’t get enough of it.

As an adult I find those movies far more entertaining and fascinating than all the overdone special effects movies Hollywood churns out. And if you want some great idea/copy fodder for your emails, sales letters, and other marketing, I cannot recommend it enough, even if you aren’t in to such movies.

I wrote down a list of ideas and lessons while watching it.

But there were two that stand out like a loud, wet fart in a library if you want to ratchet up your sales, response, and overall brand power.

The first of these notes I wrote down was:

“By just being super intense about what you do & the media you use, you can stand out even if that media is outdated”

Listen up, my fine feathered little Fledgling.

There is a reason why – for nearly the past two decades – I’ve been able to “get away” with, and make lots and lots and lots of sales, by stubbornly refusing to jump on all the various trends and bandwagons of technology and gimmickry other online marketers are always chasing.

Like, for example:

• Using ONLY plain text emails
• Preferring low quality – even hard-to-hear – audio to any kind of video
• Having zero production value to the videos I do shoot (including some in the pitch darkness of my bedroom)
• Writing regular books & not having multi-media products, online membership options, etc
• Using “archaic” software like 1shopping cart – which has gotten me laughed at while attending many-a mastermind…
• Selling exclusively with long scrolling online sales letters with near-zero graphics (and even those usually are just a pic of me with some cheap one-liner), video, or other bells & whistles

And the reason why is it ain’t the media or technology doing the selling.

It’s my passion for what I do, what I use, and what I sell.

That is it.

Period.

End of discussion.

Ray Harryhausen took technology nobody was using anymore or wanted to touch, and was so ultimately good at it… he inspired entire legions of filmmakers (like Peter Jackson, for example) to excel at and be at the top of their game in special effects that had nothing to do with the stop-go animation Ray did.

So it is in marketing and selling.

You don’t have to chase after every trend, innovation, or format you see.

And just because a format supposedly gets a better response or higher levels of engagement for Agora or whoever people reflexively parrot doesn’t mean it’s going to be the same for you. Especially if your natural attributes lend themselves to something else that you happen to do better than most others.

Anyway, on to the pitch:

It talk more about this, including a second powerful insight from this documentary in the bonus elBenbo’s Lair insert stuffed neatly inside the November “Email Players” issue.

If you want it, the deadline to get this issue is 10/31/20.

Here’s the link:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle