Ben Settle

elBenbo is a Baggins not a Took

Recently I did the unthinkable to most people I told about it:

I turned down a speaking gig in Italy.

Gasp!

Oh noes!

“Ben why wouldn’t you want to go travel to Italy and Europe?? Are you daft, man!”

Yes, daft.

And, also not the world traveler type.

I don’t even like traveling inside the U.S. much less want to be on a crowded plane for 12 hours or whatever. Plus, I don’t like leaving my dog for long periods of time anymore since she got the arthritis recently.

But, those are just superficial reasons.

The main reason is I simply hate leaving home.

I *like* where I live — this small coastal drinking town with a big fishing problem. Even with the brutal wind and rain these last couple years, I dig on it. Like Bilbo Baggins, I don’t really want any adventures, they make one later for dinner, yo.

Instead, I prefer to be at home.

In my chair by my warm hearth (I don’t have a hearth but if I did…)

Eating and amusing myself with whatever.

elBenbo is definitely more of a home-body Baggins than an adventure-seeking Took.

Thus, I don’t have this American bug to have to travel everywhere.

Anyway, I don’t know why you should care about this, either way.

Except, it illustrates that when you have your email game down tight, where you get up, send an email, and are basically done with the main part of your day, you can pick and choose any kind of lifestyle you want — whether it be holing yourself up like a paranoid recluse (like Yours Unruly) or traveling all over hellz and gone.

To learn my email methods go here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

A couple weeks ago I attended the only mastermind I will get on a plane to go to, unless I’m doing a training or speaking on something at someone else’s mastermind (such is my loathing of travel).

I had three big takeaways from it.

The first one is, you can never have too many merchant accounts.

The second, I got some ideas on investing I hadn’t thought of before.

And, the third was the 5 “F’s” of success.

It was an exercise my friend Trevor Mauch (the guy who sold me on moving to the Burgle originally) had us do.

Here’s how it works:

Write down these five words:

• Family
• Friendships
• Fitness
• Finances
• Faith

On a scale of 1-10 you write a number that fits how satisfied you are with those 5 things. One thing I realized doing this exercise is my finances are at a 3 (maybe a 4, I dunno…) With finances, it’s not about how much you make, but how well what you make is working for you.

It was a huge ah-ha for elBenbo.

And, so it was for others in the room with the other F’s.

Some realized their family life should be much better.

Or that they need to get their bytch boy arse into the gym more.

Or that their friendships are being neglected.

And so on, and so forth.

It’s a good exercise.

And, I highly recommend you do it.

With some of the above, learning and using my email shenanigans can make a huge difference — especially if you want to get time back.

You can learn my wicked ways here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

More and more people have been telling Yours Unruly how they want to do a print newsletter.

And, more and more, I am encouraging most of these people not to.

Why?

Many reasons, my little fledgling.

For one, committing to a print newsletter month in, and month out for someone who does NOT for-real enjoy writing (i.e. if you can’t even commit to a daily email, that says a lot) is a long term mistake in my not-at-all-humble opinion. After all, you’re not going to enjoy it, which means you probably won’t stick with it and are just doing it for the money or because “that’s what Ben does lol!”

Secondly:

There are probably other ways of doing continuity that fit your personality and preferences.

Like, for example, a membership site.

Or a paid podcast.

Or selling consumable products (supplements, etc)

Or selling monthly coaching services of some kind.

Or an interview-of-the-month type thing.

Or (what I encourage a lot of people to do) a monthly subscription to video trainings you put on private YouTube links. Frankly, if I liked video that is what I would do… shoot video, put on YouTube, send email to the list — zero overhead and so ridiculously simple to monetize the liberals would probably outlaw it, if they could… Factoid: For a couple years I paid a guy who dislikes white people $30/month just to hear how I’m keeping him oppressed, but I so dug on his views on dating and relationships, I happily paid…

And so on, and so forth.

My ex-spurt opinion is most people should *not* do a print newsletter.

SPURN me at your peril on this.

I’ve been doing print newsletters for almost 8 years. And there are many intangible advantages (dare I say *privileges*?) I have that the majority of people who get boners over seeing what I do don’t have — which is why they struggle and barely get more than a handful of subscribers and forever flounder. I also made a lot of mistakes and have the advantage of hindsight. For example: My first print newsletter (called “The Crypto Marketing Newsletter”) never cracked 120 subscribers even though it was only $27 per month and was info people wanted.

Why?

Because I didn’t know what I know now.

Anyway, there are many moving parts behind my machinations.

Most I have never revealed.

(Not even in my kindle book on the subject).

I’ve learned (the hard way) it’s much better to keep some secrets than teach them.

So, keep ye that in mind before trying to reverse engineer or “swipe and deploy lol!” anything I do with publishing a print newsletter. Also, keep in mind that not starting with your market and what they will consume (will your market even want a print format?), and doing it simply because you want to do it, is sheer dumbassery.

If you want to be a dumbass, of course, that’s your decision.

And if that’s the case, carry on.

One more thing:

Something that is mandatory for selling continuity (regardless of the format) is using daily emails.

That is, if you want to make life easy on yourself.

That’s where my “Email Players” newsletter comes in.

To learn my wicked ways, go ye here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

A little while ago, I reprinted something my favorite deranged Facebook cartoon Dexter Abraham said about funnels.

Specifically:

“Don’t focus on launches or funnels as most of the goorooos will have you believe you need… Instead focus on building a list, learning how to write to them, understanding basics of an opt in page, and HOW to sell to them with email…”

The esteemed A-list copywriter Bob Bly then posted it on his Facebook.

The result?

One guy suggested Dexter might just be being “curmudgeon” for the sake of it (guys like me and Dexter are unrepentantly curmudgeon — and have been since before it became trendy). And another one said the advice of not focusing on funnels was “ridiculous.”

Of course, he was wrong.

Dexter is 100% spot on.

There are way too many people more worried about their big “Funnel!!!!” than learning the basics of direct response first. They are spending all their time trying to build their precious funnels out deep before they even have an offer, a list, or audience of any kind. Just like brilliant copy won’t sell a turd, a brilliant funnel won’t even produce a bowel movement in the first place for the copy to sell the turd if you don’t have a list and an offer and an opt-in page, etc, first.

This should be common sense.

But, it’s more fun to talk about hacks, tricks, and “funnels!”

Anyway, I’d take the Pepsi Challenge pitting any one of my “Email Players” subscribers with a simple opt in page, list, offer, and back end offer against any of these “OMG look at my big funnel!!!” people who have all the fancy software and onboarding sequences a mile deep but can’t write an email or create a decent opt in page or figure out a good offer to save their lives.

When you get the base down, then you build out, not the other way around.

Common sense ain’t common, though.

So I don’t expect anyone to actually take that advice…

For those smart enough to grasp this, “Email Players” will show you the email side:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben “The King Of Curmudgeon” Settle

Couple months ago one of my “Email Players” subscribers came to me with a question.

He said:

(Paraphrased)

“elBenbo, I am in a bind. I am one of the top affiliates for a very well known marketer. And I make a lot of sales from selling his main offer. It’s a great offer that is high quality and I have no problem selling it to my list. But what bothers me is one of the immediate upsells. It’s for a product that sounds shady and crappy. This person I sell for has a great reputation but this upsell is from some guy I don’t know and just sounds like hype. Should I sell it anyway since I am only promoting the main product and the upsell is out of my hands?”

My answer?

I told him about a room I rented in Napa, California on a wine tasting vacation a couple years back.

The room was clean, the house owner was great, and all was well.

Except for one thing:

The shower had a single bar of soap to wash with.

And, that bar of soap was not only used… but had a scraggly pubic hair on it.

That one pubic hair made the entire experience different — made everything seem less clean, less sanitary, and less pleasant to stay in the entire weekend I was there.

And so it is with selling things as an affiliate.

That low class upsell offer is like the pubic hair on a bar of otherwise good soap.

You want to subject your list to a pubic hair?

No?

Then, move ye on.

Bottom line:

The great “founding father of Internet marketing” Ken McCarthy once told me, trust is like a light switch. You can spend years and decades and building it up, and one bad move can switch it off in a second. And, once that switch is off, it ain’t easy to turn back on…

‘nuff said, Spiderman.

To check out my “Email Players” newsletter go here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

The deadline to get the Zoe Tapes (Volume One) via purchasing and sending me your receipt for my new “Evils Child” novel looms.

The deadline is midnight EST tonight.

You must buy AND send me your receipt from Amazon by then. Since they take time to send the receipt you might have to screen shot it and send to me. If you are unsure of time zones, etc, figure it out. I won’t be making any exceptions.

If you send the receipt to me after the deadline I’ll be delighted you bought the book.

But, you won’t get the Zoe Tapes.

Here’s what’s in these videos I’ll send you in exchange for buying my new novel:

• How to get clients chasing you down and stalking you… even if you suck at copywriting

• Zoe’s guide to picking the perfect copywriting apprentice or copy cub

• The case for hardcore negativity

• You know what they say about guys with big funnels…

• Pubic hairs stuck to your JV’s

• The secret of elBenbo’s sticky hands

• How to get ice cold leads hotly jumping in your lap begging for your attention

• Valuable life-changing lesson from elBenbo’s silent business partner

• Buying vs paying for things

• Kung fu Zoe

• Sneaker waves that’ll swallow your business soul

• Flowery hands and embroidered fingers = a deserved azz whuppin

• How to out-Lenox the Lenoxes

• Why I don’t do bloated “buffet” marketing

• The one time elBenbo prefers free

Time’s a wastin’, my Plaything.

Here’s where to give Evil’s Child a bottle and put the bastard to sleep already:

www.EnochWars.com

Ben Settle

I’ve mentioned a few times recently how access to my private (secret) Facebook group elBenbo’s Lair is officially blocked to new members.

Immigration is closed.

The Wall is up.

And, yes, it’s being paid for by the tears of those who keep begging to be let in.

That’s the bad news for people wanting in.

The good news?

One of the things I do for the Citizens up in elBenbo’s Lair is make short, but valuable, training videos just for them that nobody else sees. I have made 15 of them so far, and I call them:

“The Zoe Tapes”

(She’s the star — the camera is on her, as I walk the beach while teaching)

And guess what?

I am giving away these videos (normally only available to elBenbo’s Lair Citizens in Flakebook) to anyone who buys my newest novel “Evil’s Child” and sends me the Amazon receipt (not just buys the book) *by* midnight EST tomorrow (Sunday).

I don’t care if you buy it in Kindle or print.

Simply send the receipt before midnight tomorrow and they are yours.

Here’s what’s in these videos:

• How to get clients chasing you down and stalking you… even if you suck at copywriting

• Zoe’s guide to picking the perfect copywriting apprentice or copy cub

• The case for hardcore negativity

• You know what they say about guys with big funnels…

• Pubic hairs stuck to your JV’s

• The secret of elBenbo’s sticky hands

• How to get ice cold leads hotly jumping in your lap begging for your attention

• Valuable life-changing lesson from elBenbo’s silent business partner

• Buying vs paying for things

• Kung fu Zoe

• Sneaker waves that’ll swallow your business soul

• Flowery hands and embroidered fingers = a deserved azz whuppin

• How to out-Lenox the Lenoxes

• Why I don’t do bloated “buffet” marketing

• The one time elBenbo prefers free

Remember the rules, my Pet:

1. The deadline to get these videos is tomorrow — Sunday, April 9th, at midnight EST

2. You must send me your receipt for “Evil’s Child” (not just buy the book) *by* that deadline

i.e. if you send it to me after that deadline, too bad.

No exceptions.

Here’s where to get your Evil on:

www.EnochWars.com

Ben Settle

My latest novel “Evil’s Child” is on Amazon

“Evil’s Child” (book 4 of my “Enoch Wars” saga) is now alive and wriggling on Amazon. And, if you buy it (in Kindle or print format) and send me the receipt *by* Sunday, April 9th at midnight EST I will give you…

“The Zoe Tapes — Volume 1”

What are the Zoe Tapes?

They are a series of 15 videos I made for the Citizens of my secret elBenbo’s Lair Facebook group (and before you ask, no, I am not letting anyone in anymore, Immigration is closed) over the last few months.

They are of my dog being walked on the beach.

And, during those walks I talk deep about topics such as:

• How to get clients chasing you down and stalking you… even if you suck at copywriting

• Zoe’s guide to picking the perfect copywriting apprentice or copy cub

• The case for hardcore negativity

• You know what they say about guys with big funnels…

• Pubic hairs stuck to your JV’s

• The secret of elBenbo’s sticky hands

• How to get ice cold leads hotly jumping in your lap begging for your attention

• Valuable life-changing lesson from elBenbo’s silent business partner

• Buying vs paying for things

• Kung fu Zoe

• Sneaker waves that’ll swallow your business soul

• Flowery hands and embroidered fingers = a deserved azz whuppin

• How to out-Lenox the Lenoxes

• Why I don’t do bloated “buffet” marketing

• The one time elBenbo prefers free

Here are the rules:

1. The deadline to get these videos is Sunday, April 9th (2017, obviously), at midnight EST

2. You must send me your receipt for “Evil’s Child” (not just buy the book) *by* that deadline

i.e. if you send it to me after that deadline, too bad.

No exceptions.

If the above rules aren’t clear, simply don’t buy the book.

Chances are, you’re too illiterate to read it anyway…

(Ain’t I just a ray of sunshine today?)

Here is the link:

www.EnochWars.com

Ben Settle

Reader Nathan F. uses elBenbo’s mysterious *email* ways to get controversial (i.e. the kind that get censored) Flakebook posts shared and liked:

A couple nights back, I decided to use some of Ben’s email tips in a facebook post.

The post was the kind that most people complain about facebook censoring. It went on about how horrible authoritarianism is, and how public schools train kids to fail and be obedient permission seekers. It was very ranty, very preachy.

This was on purpose. I wanted the odds to be stacked against it.

But I wrote it in the way Ben teaches to write email. It was story based, the hook was short and punchy, I even started with a disturbing story about peeing my pants in 1st grade. All techniques I’ve learned from Ben.

The reason I did this was a recent discussion from Marty and Shane about political posts being censored. It was kind of a test.

So, here’s the results: 3 days later, and it’s still getting likes and shares. Over 500 shares so far, and over 600 likes. I know these are vanity metrics, but it does prove what suspected. Ben’s approach to writing applies to more than just email. It can do wonders with social media as well. Even if you post things that are controversial.

I hope any value gleamed will be offset by the blatant testimonial nature of this post. I just wanted to share.

Speaking of Flakebook and my ways:

I’m sending the April “Email Players” issue to the printer tonight. One of the things it shows you is how I use my email methodology to run my flakebook group — which is so addictive (I am told) that many of the inhabitants now refer to it as real life and everything outside fake life.

Time’s pretty much up.

Hurry and subscribe here before it goes to the printer and it’s too late:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle