Remember that “marketing monsters” email from Friday?
The one about all the “monsters” waiting in the shadows, ready to leap out at you and suck up your moolah?
Well, guess what?
I gotta “sequel” for you today with even MORE monsters and how to defend against them.
Here they are…
Freebie-Seeking Frankenstein
This monster roams the countryside looking to attach new parts to his body.
And after you’ve given him a free arm, leg or other valuable part of yourself… he doesn’t stop.
He relentlessly lurches towards you, arms stretched out in front of him, chasing you around to give him even MORE free stuff.
Unfortunately, you can never defeat him.
He’s practically immortal.
But you CAN ward him off.
First by ONLY giving him something small.
And second, by making it crystal clear everything else must be paid for.
Customer Service Chupacabra
Most don’t believe this “thing” even exists.
And even those who do, think it only attacks OTHER people.
But once you buy something from him, you’ll realize this reptile-like being, with razor-sharp quills on its back, is all too REAL.
And the legends ARE true.
Some of his favorite attacks include:
Putting giant barriers up to prevent you from asking questions about products you bought… refusing to admit he screwed up… making you spend weeks to get the simplest of problems fixed… and even treating you like a leper when you DO get his attention.
What can you do to stop him?
Ask your fellow travelers where he lurks before going out at night.
Avoid the dark, shadowy corners of the Internet where he dwells.
And ALWAYS beware who you buy from.
Testing & Measuring Medusa
This being can be VERY dangerous to newbies.
You see, she likes to test, track and measure everything.
Which is good.
But the danger comes when you gaze into her eyes — and she paralyzes you with too many options, ideas and her maze of testing data.
So much so you may get overwhelmed… and never do anything.
Plus, her data rarely helps, anyway.
As it’s usually specific to her products and market.
Still, there IS treasure in her cave you can profit from.
Just don’t gaze into her eyes and let her turn your marketing efforts to stone.
Content Stealing Cyclops
This insidious monster has just one eye.
And it’s always fixed on OTHER peoples’ content and stealing it.
He never speaks or talks. He just grunts and snarls and glowers over everyone’s content with his one, piercing eye.
When he finds something he likes, he shamelessly takes it (with no regard to ethics, rules or copyright laws) and puts it on HIS websites.
To make matters worse:
It’s almost IMPOSSIBLE to find his lair.
He has no email, phone number or contact info.
And since he puts your content on sites like “blogspot” blogs, you have no recourse except jumping through hundreds of hoops that are not worth your time.
There’s not much you can do about this one.
But there are ways to use his evil deeds to your advantage if you use a little strategy.
OK fellow traveler, that’s it for today.
These are some of the most ruthless monsters roaming the countryside.
If you want to protect yourself, get thee to the castle armory and strap a copy of The Copywriting Grab Bag to your side:
It’s the ultimate weapon to defeat these vile fiends.
As well as protect the customers in your niche.
Ben Settle
