Ben Settle

Pull up a seat, babycakes.

Yesterday I posted a link to a short story (just 5-pages) I wrote when I was 20-years old. If you read it and if you liked it, you will probably also dig my “Zombie Cop” novel as well — as it’s 10x’s more violent and disturbing.

(One amazon review said he’d pray for my deranged soul).

It’s also gotten some “gold card” testimonials, too.

Including from world class copywriter (and author of over 75 books) Bob Bly — who said:

A fun, entertaining, engaging, and compelling read that draws you in and keeps you turning pages

And from the “most published author of computer books” on the planet Greg Perry — who said:

To keep up with Zombie Cop, book writers and Hollywood are going to have to step-up their game. The bar’s just been raised

And from one of the most respected and in-demand book cover artists in the bid’niz Kirk DouPonce (who works for all the world’s biggest book publishers, such as Simon and Schuster, McGraw Hill, Harper Collins/Zondervan and Thomas Nelson) — who said:

Reading [this] book and designing the cover were  a lot more fun than most of my work!

Plus, a bunch more on Amazon.

Including reviews saying it’s better than Jack Reacher.

Better than Stephen King.

And, even better than The Walking Dead.

Are they right?

Hellz naw.

But, it’s all subjective, yo?

So, I suppose that’s for individual readers to decide.

All I will say is this:

I never intended for it to be the “best written” book (it won’t win any literary awards). But, I do hope people find it the most entertaining read of 2014.

(That is, ’til I publish the sequel later this year…)

Anyway, call-to-action time:

You can see all the reviews, or read the first chapter, or buy it (in kindle, paperback, or audio book) here:

www.ZombieCopBook.com

Tomorrow?

Who knows?

I’m making this up as I go…

Ben Settle

P.S. If you read it and haven’t left a review on Amazon, I’d definitely appreciate it if you would. Even if it’s just a few sentences telling me what you think.

Gracias, mein freund…

I will admit it up front…

This email has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with marketing, email, copywriting, business, etc.

But, you might find it interesting.

We shalt see.

Here’s the story:

When I was 20-years old, I had a weird dream that was like a cross between the “The Twilight Zone” and Mr. Owl from those old Tootsie Pop commercials. (The commercial where the kid asks Mr. Owl how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop. Then, the owl says “let’s find out” and licks it twice, followed by biting into it, and declaring it only 3 licks.)

Anyway, the dream was so vivid, I wrote it down.

The result was a 5-page short story.

(About a man-eating owl with insomnia.)

In fact, a girl I know (who also read my “Zombie Cop” novel) said:

Ben…. Are you troubled in your soul? That was very scary too. Very violent and negative. You are a good writer. I want to read something good, uplifting, and positive from you. You should use your talent for good. Just my opinion. I love you my friend. P.S…….I am scared of owls. Now even more 😉

My reply to her?

“Good!”

(That’s kinda the point of these stories…)

Anyway, I recently scanned and put it online.

(Note the ancient dot matrix print job heh).

Eventually I’m gonna publish a book of short stories.

And, this story will be included.

You can read it here:

www.zombiecopbook.com/EarlsInsomnia.pdf

Ben Settle

“Email Player” Roger Haeske says about my new blog design…

Just wanted to say I like the way it looks quite a bit. Can you give me the name of this guy and contact info? That is if you’ve been satisfied with the results.

Yo’ command is my wish.

He is none other than “Email Players” (not surprised at all when MY guys & gals turn out to be outliers at what they do) subscriber…

Keith Commins.

He’s originally from Ireland.

He’s one of the few non-flakey designers I’ve ever met.

And, he not only did WHAT he said… WHEN he said… but, he took the ideas I had and RAN with them, turning my blog at http://www.BenSettle.net into something way better than I ever could have hoped for.

Every nuance I asked for was included.

Every vague idea (I couldn’t explain) was developed.

And, every detail was taken care of.

He also “gets” direct response marketing — which makes him a very rare (hellz, dang near EXTINCT) bird indeed.

Now, before anyone reading this gets too excited…

He’s not cheap.

So if you’re a price shopper, don’t waste his time.

His service is for VALUE shoppers, not bargain hunters.

Don’t know the difference?

Then you ain’t ready for him.

(In fact, you got bigger problems than your site design.)

Also, he’s not gonna just make you a replica of my site.

I already can see a few whipper-snappers going to him saying, “make my site look just like Ben’s!” This happened with the splash/squeeze page my friend Jim Yaghi designed a couple years ago. Instead, he’s gonna demand you make your site YOUR personality, not mine. That you be an original you, not a warmed over version of me or anyone else.

In other words…

The dude’s a true professional.

Not just a $5 per project hack.

Anyway, I get no “kick back” for promoting him.

I just really liked what he did.

I really liked working with him.

And, I really like the idea of helping him have so much demand he’ll have to raise his fees even higher. (So you best hop on the stick and hire him ASAP if’n that’s your plan.)

Anyway, here’s where to find him:

http://pearldesign.ie

That’s it for today.

Tomorrow, something else…

Ben Settle

On today’s “Ben Settle Show” Producer Jonathan and I interview an eccentric marketing veteran of 25+ years.

He reveals:

• How to “cheat” on your clients and get away with it

• Why you have to constantly “pimp” your market

• Why copywriters (or any service provider) should never let their client dictate how to do their job

• Why the less you care about what your clients think, the more they like you, the more respect they’ll give you and the more they will pay you

• The “don’t ask, don’t tell” secret to dating multiple women simultaneously and still keep harmony in your life (works for managing multiple clients, too — and, yes, we reached a new low on “The Ben Settle Show” with this one, but whatevs…)

• How to keep your main employer/client happy while you “see” other clients on the side

• How to never come off as needy to clients

• And more low class jackass tips that’ll get me in trouble…

Here’s where to listen:

www.BenSettleShow.com/itunes

Ben Settle

Here’s what’s inside the June “Email Players” issue, and the bonus training that comes with it (today is the last day to subscribe in time to get it):

• A secret way to profit from people who never buy from you.

• Why blatant pitch subject lines often work better than curiosity subject lines.

• How to “jimmie” hate mail, 1-star reviews and other troll attacks about you or product into lots and lots of sales.

• How to (ethically) profit from your prospects’ most horrible & embarrassing insecurities. (And lest you think I’m some kind of monster for doing this — I had this technique publicly endorsed by the world’s most feared negotiator on a teleconference once. It works… and it works in emails like nothing else I’ve ever seen.)

• Why so many prostate supplements give men “man boobs” and other female characteristics. (Nothing to do with email marketing, but, if you’re a guy nearing middle age…)

• How to keep cranking out profitable emails even when you’re burned out and can’t concentrate.

• How to use “big ego” subject lines to crank up your sales right away.

• A “counter intuitive” way to get your list to feel safe buying from you. (I learned this from one of the founding fathers of Internet marketing Ken McCarthy. And it works like gangbusters to create a tight, unbreakable bond with your list where many won’t even think of buying from anyone but you.)

• A cool “hack” for cooking up an endless number of stories to tell in emails. (This is basically like ethically cheating for ideas — and it works a helluva lot better than sitting there busting your brain all day trying to think stories up on your own.)

• How to write emails in a “covert” way where people are LOOKING for a link to click (and buy from) before they are even done reading. (If you hate hard selling, this tip will be right up your alley. It lets you sell all day long without any aggressive pitching whatsoever.)

• A 3-step way of getting all the hot, “ready to buy” traffic you can stand. (It’s not a magic bullet — and it takes time — but you will get traffic and it will be much higher quality than most other methods.)

• A free way to get people with big lists to send you traffic. (Every time I’ve done this, I’ve gotten a big spike in responsive traffic.)

• Yet another free way to get traffic that is highly responsive and ready to buy when they find your site.

• How to “warm up” cold traffic and turn them into buyers — fast.

• A little-known way accountants and other so-called “boring” professionals can use to write dozens of profitable emails.

• The exact best number of emails to have in an auto-responder sequence for maximum sales.

• How to use email to “convert” people who hate your guts into your best buyers.

• Why tracking email metrics is a total waste of time for most people. (It’s interesting how the 3 of us on this call — all high producing email marketers — don’t spend a lot of time tracking. Here’s why…)

• And a ho’ lot more.

Again, Amigo…

Today’s the last day to get in on this issue.

Subscribe here today (while you still can):

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

On today’s “hater-bait” Ben Settle Show episode…

• My uncensored opinion of NLP.

• What the world’s greatest living copywriter teaches about persuasion.

• How to know when you’ve officially won an argument with a liberal. (As soon as they say these words revealed on the podcast, you know they lost, they know they lost, and it’s extremely amusing to behold.)

• Why America doesn’t suck as much as all the spoiled drama queens who whine about it say it does.

• The only thing you have to do in your emails to stand out from all your competition.

• A single question you can ask that lets you win almost any debate nearly every time. (Works even if you’re wrong!)

• The Seinfeld secret to creating a podcast people can’t wait to get their “fix” of each week.

• How people ruin perfectly good persuasive arguments.

• Why your list wants you to be controversial (whether they will ever admit it or not) and will reward you (with sales) when you are.

• The absolute safest place to be if you fear gun violence.

• The absolute worst place to be if you fear gun violence.

• The “noble” reason why you should be selfish in life, business, relationships, etc. (The mush cookies won’t like this… but you actually do your friends, loved ones and business a disservice by not being selfish, and here’s why…)

• The best state to live in if you are a gun owner.

• How to destroy apathy in your mailing list. (Apathy is… by FAR… the #1 sales killer. Here’s how to kill it, make more sales and create an audience that either loves you, or loves t hate you…)

• And a whole bunch more lovin’…

Listen to it here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/itunes

Ben Settle

This email tip might sound meeeeaaaan.

Maybe even inseeeeeensitive.

Certainly it’ll sound kinda dickish.

But, so be it.

It works.

And, thus, I’m going to talk about it anyway.

So here’s the deal:

Back in February at our last Oceans 4 Mastermind Workshop, one of the big “take aways” the attendees got from my contributions to the hot seats was the idea of really wrenching on your lists’s worst, most horrible, most awful, most nightmare-inducing insecurities.

Hey, I warned you it’d sound dickish.

But, it’s not.

You’re actually doing them a favor.

And, I daresay, doing the most ethical and helpful thing you can possibly do for them. (i.e. Sell them the solution to a painful problem they have.)

No, not every market lends itself to this.

And, you have to do it the right way.

Enter the June “Email Players” newsletter issue.

One of the things I do in this issue is, I show you how to righteously and ethically use your market’s worst insecurities to sell them your product or service. (And, let’s face it, few of your timid competitors will ever have the ‘nads to do this.)

I also give you 3 real life examples.

(Of emails that kicked ass in sales.)

And, I also show you how to do it tastefully.

This is important.

Very few understand how to do this. And, thus, they come off as “adholes.” (And lose sales.)

But you won’t.

That is, if you possess the June issue.

However, time is short, amigo.

She goes to the printer next week.

Subscribe in time here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

I really dig the show “Dexter”.

Not just the thriller TV fanboy side of me.

But also, the marketing fanboy side.

Why?

Because of all the insights into human behavior.

Since it’s from a psychopath’s perspective, it’s like a marketer’s playground how it looks at human psychology, nature, empathy, decision making, and so on (I’ve gotten quite a few marketing ideas watching the show).

There’s also another reason I dig it, too.

A more blatantly “selfish” reason.

You see, ever since watching Dexter I have had the “bug” to visit Miami where the show takes place.

And guess what?

Later next month I’m finally going.

Specifically, for our next “Oceans 4” Mastermind Workshop.

(June 20th-22nd)

Oceans 4 is something I do with my friends Andre Chaperon (master auto-responder writer, strategist and teacher)… Jack Born (world class programmer and Perry Marshall’s affiliate manager — who’s like the “Walter White” of marketing, cooking up software for exploding sales in his motor home, with smoke billowing out of vents from his office)… And Ryan Levesque who has taught college level classes on advanced neuroscience at an Ivy League university, and uses that knowledge to build lists and funnels for his multi-million dollar clients (he has built the funnels of some of the biggest direct response marketing companies on the Internet).

Anyway, it works like this:

1. We keep these small (capped at 5-8 people)

2. We dig deep into each client’s business and “dissect” it

In other words…

We look at your funnels.

We dig into your emails (and, even help you rewrite them).

We rip apart your sales letters (and help you fix them up).

We secret shop you.

We get to know your business (before you get there) as well as we know our own businesses, so we hit the ground running when we get to your hot seat (and not waste your time asking you “get up to speed” questions).

More:

We bring in a special guest for further training.

Last time, it was media buying wizard Steve Gray.

(Who buys something like $10 million per year in media — he will be there again as a guest sitting in this time, too. Although he’s not there to teach like last time, you can ask him your questions about media buying, etc.)

Who’s doing the guest training this time?

One of the world’s top list building experts:

Daegan Smith.

Daegan has list building down to a science.

There are few people on the Internet who can do what this guy can do with lead generation and list building (I recently had a talk with the VP of marketing of one of the biggest lead gen websites on the Internet, and he was raving about Daegan and the things the guy can do when it comes to building lists).

More:

Daegan is gonna teach us some proprietary secrets.

i.e. nobody has seen this stuff but him.

This info cannot be found anywhere else.

For any price.

Or, in any info product.

In fact, here’s exactly what he told us:

This is something their ain’t no training on nowhere, and once you’ve got a network, traffic is a non issue forever. This shit, I’ve never shared with anyone, and the only reason I’m going to share it at your mastermind is because you guys have a strict no videotaping policy. This stuff better stay in the room.

Alright enough.

I’m jazzed about going to Miami.

I’m stoked about the hot seats.

And, I’m jonesing to learn Daegan’s list building info.

What about you?

You interested in attending?

Well, before you get too excited, we have “filters” in place.

We only want a certain kind of person in the room.

But don’t worry…

You don’t need to be a big shot millionaire to attend (although we’ve had a bunch of them attend before). Nor do you even have to be an Internet marketer. (We have helped brick and mortar businesses, too.) But, you should be doing at least $100k per year with a working offer, a quality product and a list (frankly, I suspect if you have a small list you will probably get even MORE out of this event due to Daegan’s training).

Bottom line:

This mastermind will not “create” sales for you.

But it can MULTIPLY your current sales.

Which is why both $200 million per year Agora and Badass Ventures (the #1 company on Clickbank) are attending for the 3rd time in a row.

It’s just a no brainer for them.

Just as it is for our other “alumni.”

(Which includes one of the highest earning affiliates in the hyper competitive weight loss and fitness markets.)

The experience level in this room is just nutzo.

During the hot seats nothing is held back.

No ideas are filtered.

No solutions withheld.

It’s just raw, “uncircumcised” teaching and learning.

(Which reminds me… if you are easily offended, or if you are kind of a prude, you should definitely not attend. This ain’t the Mickey Mouse Hour and when people get passionate about marketing, well, anything goes…)

Anyway, it’s just the coolest thing I ever saw.

And it’s also completely unique.

(Especially compared to other masterminds.)

It’s also crazy watching how everyone in the room starts getting into a “feeding frenzy” exchanging ideas, test results, strategies, tactics and “war stories” from some of the savviest marketers on the planet.

Alright enough.

This ain’t for everyone, obviously.

But, if you think it’s for you, we have a few spots left.

To apply to attend, go to:

www.Oceans4Mastermind.com

Opt in to the list.

Then, you’ll be forwarded to a page to learn more.

See you in Dexter land…

Ben Settle

P.S. Our “roster” of previous clients include:

• Agora Publishing ($200+ million newsletter empire)

• Bad Ass Ventures (The #1 Selling Company on Clickbank)

• The founder of the biggest job portal in Australia’s multi billion dollar mining industry

• A New York Times Bestselling financial author

• One of the world’s top marketers for PGA Tour Players

• Russell Brunson (Quite possibly the savviest online direct marketing genius I’ve ever met — just hanging out with this guy will make you a better marketer by “osmosis”)

• One of the world’s top affiliates in the hyper competitive weight loss niche

• And other leaders in their respective industries (like LinkedIn job training, building brand awareness, etc).

Again, because I haven’t always been clear about this:

You don’t have to be an industry giant to attend.

But, you can rest assured knowing you’re in a room full of people who are amongst the best of the best… all freely and eagerly sharing ideas and strategies and tactics with each other.

It’s gonna kick ass.

Maybe I’ll see ya there.

Here’s the link:

www.Oceans4Mastermind.com

Roll up, roll up… got some timely newz:

British “Email Players” subscriber Laura Leigh Clarke is interviewing me via video chat (i.e. Internet TV) today for her “Take Off The Breaks” achiever summit.

A few “tidbits” we’ll rap about include:

• A secret video on NetFlix that reveals nearly everything you need to know about writing emails people love to read, click and buy from within the first 10 minutes of the program.

• The single best place to get a free critique of your ads, sales letters, videos, sales letters, etc (these critiques are 100% free, and blow away any critique you can pay a copywriter or consultant for.)

• Jesus Christ’s secret to finding the best, most likely-to-buy prospects. (Don’t worry… this also works for atheists, pagans, infidels, heathen and, yes, even the drama queens who freak out when they’re wished a merry Christmas at Walmart. It’s probably the single best way to sell ever invented, and works for nearly any kind of product or service.)

• The difference between writing non-fiction and fiction.

• The funniest vampire story ever written? (Nothing to do with emails, business or marketing, but if you dig vampire movies & stories, this could be right up your alley…)

• A little-talked about way to arrange your notes to make podcasting more fun, more interesting and more profitable.

• How to use your unique personality type to get 93% more work done in 93% less time.

• Why extroverts are inferior to introverts (Yes, it’s true — if you’re an extrovert you might as well just accept it, lad.)

• Why I hardly ever go to church.

• The absolute worst kind of clients to work for. (I learned this from master copywriter and best selling author Bob Bly. And when I did client work, it made my work 10x’s more fun and profitable than otherwise. If you do client work, ignore his advice at your peril…)

• David Ogilvy’s best-kept secret for putting “control freak” clients in their place.

• The worst thing you can do with email marketing. (If you’re doing this — and most Internet marketers do it every day — stop. Just stop…)

• How to take all the pressure off when writing emails.

• 2 reasons why having a small email list can be more profitable and better than a huge email list.

• How to profit from thy haters.

• How to write a 1-star review (for Amazon, iTunes, etc — this is especially important for trolls who want to get taken seriously and not sound like idiots.)

• How to profit from troll reviews. (Since doing this, I look forward to review trolls leaving inane, pointless reviews on my Amazon books.)

• How to beat fraudulent refunders at their own game.

• And lotza more fun for the whole family…

So here’s the deal:

This “show” is free to watch.

And, you can register to see it at high noon Pacific time (3:00 pm
Eastern, 8:00 pm UK time) right here:

www.takeoffthebrakes.net/ben

Tomorrow:

More deviltry coming your way…

Ben Settle