Ben Settle

The zombie apocalypse is almost upon us.

This week I do the 5th draft of my soon-to-be-published novel about flesh eating zombies (Called “Zombie Cop” — about a cop who becomes a zombie).

And, I’m editing it kind of like how I would edit a sales letter.

Here’s what I mean:

I am going to read it out loud on this 5th pass. It will take the entire week and then I will send it to Greg (my editor). Ideally, I would do 10 read-out-loud drafts (just like I do for my sales letters) but there’s no time. Because next week I gotta prep for the Oceans 4 workshop  in Vegas I’m doing with my boys Andre Chaperon, Ryan Levesque and Jack Born (and if you’re going to the Marketing Sherpa event that week, let me know, it was fun hanging out with people on my list in San Diego in September when we did our last Oceans 4 gig). Then, when I get back, I have a week to implement whatever changes, suggestions, etc, Greg sends me so we can submit it to an amazon.com fiction contest.

The prize?

A $150,000 advance and 3 book contract.

But, I will admit:

I couldn’t care less about the prize.

I just wanna WIN, babycakes.

Although, I gotta be realistic:

Even if the judges love it, they probably won’t allow an unrepentantly pop culture (i.e. low culture), simple and, yes, disturbing book like Zombie Cop win. (It’s extremely deranged and violent… can’t wait until my mom reads it!)

Anyway, a few twisted souls have said they want to buy it.

So, I put up a notification list here:

www.BenSettle.com/zombie

When the book’s ready to be, uhm, consumed, I’ll let ya know.

See ya in Zombieland…

Ben Settle

I get amused when people ask me about traffic.

Why?

Because it ain’t my bag, baby.

I am the guy who knows how to convert traffic, but only knows enough about how to generate traffic to be dangerous to myself and anyone else within farting distance of me.

But, I’m going to humor ’em today.

Yes, I’m going to give you some “for real” traffic tips.

But, a word of warning, my golden pigeon:

Chances are you won’t want to do any of them. And, those you do want to do, you probably won’t be able to do.

Ready?

Okay, here goes:

1. Call out goo-roos in your niche by name who are being unethical (my friend Ryan Healy has done this a few times, and while he’s got balls the size of Wyoming to do it, I doubt he got much sleep when he did it)

2. Get on the first page of Digg

3. Write an article for a major news site

4. Get mentioned on a major talk radio show (Rush, Stern, etc)

5. Give away something extremely valuable (that everyone else has to pay at least $10k for) free and tell the media about it

What?

These won’t work for you?

Okay, then let me suggest a 6th way:

Get yo’ bootykus on the free online workshop at the link below.

My pal Danny Iny is teaching it.

And, he’s figured out a way anyone (yes, even if you’re a raw, “wriggling” newbie fresh off the turnip truck) can use to build an audience and attract burgles of traffic at the same time.

A way that has helped lots of other people.

And, grew his business from $0 to almost $700k in 3 years.

Anyway, it’s really simple.

Works like gangbusters.

And, you can learn how he does it free tomorrow (Feb 4th) on his “second chance” online workshop at at 5pm Pacific / 8pm Eastern, for anyone who missed the workshop last month (or wants to see it again) when I promoted it.

Here’s the link:

www.EmailPlayers.com/audience

And yes, that there link is an affiliate link.

That’s just the way I roll…

Ben Settle

The 2nd episode of my “Antipreneur” online radio show is now uploaded and ready for listening.

It is called:

“Business, Babes And The Bible”

It’s kinda controversial.

So if you’re a mush cookie, you should pass on it.

As my producer said on Facebook about it:

“can’t wait to hear what kind of feedback you get from that bit around 27 minutes into the show.”

A merry time will be had by all…

Here’s the link:

http://bensettleshow.com/bsa2

Listen.

Learn.

Then, let the hounds out…

Ben Settle

Howdy ho, neighbor…

So I’m recording the 3rd episode of my new Antipreneur online radio show Monday. The 2nd show will probably be ready for your listening displeasure tomorrow. (It’s even MORE obnoxious, controversial and full of TMI stories than the first one…)

We’ll be doing live shows soon.

That way, I can talk to live, “wriggling” listeners.

But, until then, I’m doing Q&A’s.

If you have a question you want me to answer in the 3rd show Producer Jonathan (PD?) and I are recording Monday send ‘er on over to:

www.BenSettle.com/contact

I can’t promise to get to ALL questions.

But, I’ll grab a handful and give ’em what for.

Over and out…

Ben Settle

A reader comments on an email from a couple weeks ago about coldly and ruthlessly cutting people out of your life who complicate it:

She says:

“I see your point and you are right but sometimes people are worth giving a second chance. just sayin’! ps love your emails!” – Tammi

All right.

Lemme put it this way:

I don’t know if newer Mac computers do this (never tried on my Mac), but there was a time when, if your Mac was acting up, you did what’s called “zap the p-ram.” You would hold some buttons down while you restarted the computer and it would clear out the logic board (something like that) of corrupted info, and make your computer work great again.

And it did work.

I rarely ever had problems with mine.

But, when I did, I zapped the p-ram and all was good.

When I talk about cutting out toxic people from your life who try to complicate your existence, I’m talking about figuratively zapping their p-ram. That’s what cutting them out and treating them like they don’t even exist (in my mind, they don’t) means.

And guess what?

When you cut people out they sometimes come back.

Apologize for their idiotic behavior.

And, change their wicked ways.

In that case, yes, bring ’em back if you want and if zapping their p-ram works.

But, let’s face it:

Some computers have bigger problems.

Some will work right after you zap that p-ram, but because there is a virus or some other unfixable problem (or if it’s damaged beyond repair) that can’t be fixed by zapping the p-ram, the problem never goes away.

Never gets better.

And, in fact, gets worse.

Until, eventually, you toss it and get a new one.

That is when you cut people out for good — if they are damaged, or if they don’t repent and change and stop making your life complicated you gotta give ’em da boot. Kick ’em to the curb just like you would a damaged computer.

This goes for people you date.

Or friendships.

Or business partnerships, customers, clients, etc.

It’s ALL the same.

Cut out complicated people.

Do it yesterday.

Only then peace of mind will you have.

Next “Email Players” issue goes to print in a couple days.

Go here to nab it:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Yet another chick has left me.

And, she did it with nothing but an email.

(Note even a phone call…? Really?)

Want to see the “break up” (i.e. unsubscribe-from-my-list) email?

OK, a website reader/subscriber says when unsubscribing:

“For quite a while now you’ve been sending out emails about how whiney, stupid and irritating some women can be. At first it was funny. But now, several weeks down the line, it’s starting to become offensive. And your new video called “the female rationalisation hamster” is just about the last straw.”

I think I feel a tear coming on.

Oh, wait.

Never mind.

Just a speck of dust…

Amusingly, I got this email while hanging out with a chick that day. Of course, I read this email to her and (of course) we both laughed at it.

Why?

Because, there wasn’t a single fact in it.

I have never said women “can be whiney, stupid, and irritating.” (Even if the writer of the above comment is behaving that way… but what was that about hamsters again…?) Plus, my podcast was not a “video” it was audio.

But hey, ye females worry not!

I don’t judge ALL women based on the chick above.

In fact, another of your people hath “redeemed” you.

Reader Naomi Novella comments:

“Great show! I really like your laid back style. You definitely have great radio presence. It’s refreshing to listen to a conversation while gleaning some biz advice. Looking forward to more shows. P.S. Next time drink the vino Ben and enjoy…salute!”

Word up, Ms. Novella.

I will do just that later today when I record the second episode. Probably while enjoying a glass (or two…) of wine from my favorite winery on the face of the earth:

“Altipiano”

They’re in Escondido, California.

(San Diego area.)

And, I HIGHLY recommend going wine tasting there.

(And buying a case.)

Also, let ’em know Ben Settle sent ya.

I don’t get any kick backs or anything (this isn’t Chicago), but they like to know who’s sending them bid’niz, and I’m an unrepentant Alipiano fanboy.

Okay, that’s all for toda–

Wait… what?

You missed my podcast debut??

Here ’tis:

http://ben-settle-show.s3.amazonaws.com/BSA-1.mp3

Ben Settle

Got the 1st episode of my new online radio gig (the “Ben Settle Antipreneur Show”) up.

I call this 1st one:

“How To Profit From
The Female Rationalization Hamster”

Here’s the link:

http://ben-settle-show.s3.amazonaws.com/BSA-1.mp3

Ben Settle

P.S. We’ve got some “kinks” to work out with my mic quality, etc. But, it’s a work in progress (especially for me…), and it’ll eventually be on iTunes and easier to access, vote on (if’n that’s your bag), etc.

Following is a cautionary tale…

The name has NOT been changed to protect the guilty (in this case, yours truly). And, if you take it to heart, I think you will understand yet another reason why you must email your list daily, keep them constantly engaged and reassure them you care about and are thinking about them.

Anyway, here’s what happened:

Few months ago I started dating a doctor chick.

Very cool girl.

Lots of fun.

And, a blast to hang with.

Then, the holidays hit, we lost touch and, well, these things happen. A few weeks ago we finally reconnect and she says she’s been seeing some dude over the past month because she thought I only liked her as a friend, but could she still hang out with me, etc.

Of course, I told her it’s all good.

Don’t even sweat it.

And, yes, go ye forth and pursue the other guy with my blessings (as readers of the February “Email Players” issue will discover, attracting new women — and customers, if you’re married or a chick — in your life is cake if you use my system to do it, you simply don’t worry about it).

But, it was a great learning lesson.

Not just for dealing with chicks.

(And their strangling need for reassurance and communication…)

But, even more importantly, for bid’niz.

Here’s what I mean:

Most marketers are afraid to mail regularly.

Or, they simply don’t have anything to say.

Or, they don’t think it “works.”

But, I’m here to tell you:

Just like how doctor chick thought I wasn’t that “in” to her (i.e. only liked her as a friend and not romantically due to neglect and lack of communication), your list is thinking you don’t really like them “that” way, either, if you (1) only mail them when you launch new products (2) rarely talk to them or (3) don’t know how to communicate with them in a way where it’s obvious you both like and respect them, and want their business.

That, Romeo, is where “Email Players” can help.

It’s what my system does:

Keeps your list engaged.

Interested.

And, when ready, eager to buy.

(If you have something they want.)

Bottom line:

Show your list some lovin’.

Go here to learn how:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

I’m in the mood for some ego stroking.

You gotta do this once in a while when you’re in direct marketing if you do it right. By “right” I mean you are polarizing, take a stand and, yes, anger certain people who disagree and are maybe a bit mentally off.

So let’s start with this one.

It’s from “Email Players” subscriber Paul Mort:

(A dude who “gets” what it means to be polarizing!)

My man crush on you grows on a daily basis, bruddah.

and my bank account does to, as a result.

Boats and Hoes babycakes!

Mort-dawwwg.

Ahh, yes.

Ain’t nuttin’ like a good ego stroking, is there?

This next one is from my pal, “Email Players” subscriber and one of my business partners Doc Carney (who I had a blast hanging out with last month in Carlsbad, California — along with a couple other bid’niz droogies Michael Senoff and Shane Hunter):

Ben I gotta tell you.

———-
YOUR STUFF WORKS.
———-

I did his email and he got a 36% OPEN RATE.

Big deal right?

Well he only has about 600 people on his list, but 214 people opened it and it made him some major money. (I’d tell you how much but let’s just say he doesn’t want me to mention it was probably over $10,000 from an engine overhaul and swap, a transmission job, and some oil changes.

A lot of work, but well worth it.

I mean how many mechanics have a $10K week?

Not that many.

Not. too. shabby. Doc.

Hey, I kinda like this.

Let’s see if we can’t stroke my ego some more…

ben, you’re an asshole. take me off your list.

– Deb

DOH!

I knew all this ego stroking wouldn’t last forever — just too good to be true. But it’s all good, you gotta look at your hate mail after a good ego stroking if for no other reason to keep yourself grounded, yeah?

Alright enough bean soup for the soul.

Here’s what to do next:

1. Go to this URL

www.EmailPlayers.com

2. Read the letter VERY carefully, and if you think you got the right stuff and if it makes sense (i.e. you have a list, you are teachable, you are not afraid of work, etc) subscribe

3. Implement what you learn

4. Make lots of $$

5. Then send me an ego stroke email

Cool?

Word up.

Ben Settle