Ben Settle

I love UrbanDictionary.com.

A lot of people wince at it and think it’s uncivilized or whatever, but I kinda dig it. It’s got lots of edgy terms with great plays on words/letters that are awesome for emails.

One of my favorite terms on there is:

“SIMP”

This is guy who’s really a sissy, but acts like a pimp.

In other words…

He’ll talk about how he’s the man, doesn’t care about his girl, is a stud, etc.

But, in reality, he kisses her bootay.

Worships her.

And, is basically whipped.

We got some online SIMPS, too. I speaketh of people who act like they’re super experienced and know what they’re talking about with emails, sales letters, marketing, etc.

But really, they’re just amateurs.

With no real experience.

No real successes.

And, no real reason to be teaching anything.

Someone recently tested me to see if I’m just a SIMP online. She made the comment that, yeah, selling “how to make money” stuff (like email training, for example) is easier than other products. But what else outside this niche have I been successful selling?

I don’t blame people for asking this.

I think more people should.

The answer is hellz yeah I have.

I’ve successfully sold products for weight loss, prostate problems, golf, self defense, fitness, health supplements, dog training, dressing for style, and a bunch more. (Frankly, I’ve lost track).

I’d also argue golf and weight loss are much easier sells, anyway.

Those two markets are as rabid as Cujo.

So there ya have it.

I may be a lot of things — good & bad.

But I ain’t no SIMP.

And I prove it in “Email Players” each month.

Get the scoop at:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Word up.

Ben Settle

Another question rolls in…

“Ben I have been on your list for over a year and love your stuff. I am writing you because I have a high ticket product that costs more than $10k. I’m curious about your email methods. Will they work to sell high ticket products? I’m just afraid of spending a lot of time on them and not seeing any results or getting bombarded with spam complaints and unsubscribes. Have you seen email make big ticket sales? Thank you and I look forward to your response.”

It’s a good question, Boss.

But, I find your lack of faith disturbing.

You’ve been on my list for a year?

And you STILL wonder about email?

Still afraid to try it?

Listen dude, I’m not gonna tell you to “man up.”

I’m not even gonna tell you to “sac up.”

Instead, you need to “BEN up”.

That means asking yourself “What would Ben do?”

Such as…

• Start mailing daily

• Play to WIN not to not lose (i.e. quit worrying about unsubscribes)

• Make a list of ways your product has helped others, and turn those into mini case studies (perfect for email)

• Do the opposite of what goo-roos are doing/teaching

• Think up hot offers and hard deadlines

• Bring your new subscribers in the right way (don’t say something lame like “don’t worry, you’ll only hear from me when…. blah blah blah, almost like you’re apologizing for helping them for FREE with your emails…)

• Track sales, not open rates, etc

• Don’t spend a lot of time on writing emails (shocked?)

• And MOST importantly… subscribe to “Email Players”

I’m biased, of course.

(Shamelessly so….)

But, think of it this way:

If “Email Players” helps you make ONE sale of your $10k product (and I’d bet green money it’ll do FAR more than that), you’ve just paid for 8.5 years of “Email Players” issues.

All you need is guidance.

Guidance I happily provide each month.

First, you get my “Email Players Playbook” which teaches you my system (the “evergreen” stuff). Then each month I keep you up on the latest stuff I’m making sales doing (I’m constantly experimenting with emails…)

Just one tip can be worth thousands.

(Even TENS of thousands).

Now imagine learning dozens of tips.

Each month.

And, with examples anyone can model.

(Not outright *copy*, ye goo-roo fanboys take note, there’s a difference….)

Begin your adventure at:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

A while back I got this inane comment:

“Ben, I love your aggressive way you market your product, but your product better work, or yes I do want my money back. Those days are over! Nobody is giving money over for b/s, I make money in the virtual world and the physical world the same way my shit work. I’m on your list, but you haven’t ever given me a slight example of something I would buy from you. Don’t waste my time, and I want waste yours. I’m learning this marketing thing. But the secret is to show me something that I just got to have. I spent 2,000 on a product. I just spent 197.000 on another product. I got some money, show me something I can use. I’m looking at [big name IM guru]’s product, another 2,000 dollars, I’m eyeing his shit, because an untrained monkey can sort of see from his example that he knows what the hell he is talking about. He got me re-arranging my finances to buy his product. And hell no he can’t get it back, I’m gonna make sure of that. He couldn’t call me back and ask to pay double to get it back!”

Dude sounds drunk.

(On alcohol or hype, or both…)

Anyway, I told him to PLEASE buy from the other guy.

And, in fact, he’s forbidden to buy from me, anyway.

Why?

Because my mind automatically decodes these comments like Neo decoding the Matrix.

And, here’s what I see:

“I do want my money back”
(“I plan refunds before buying”)

“I have money”
(“I’m neck deep in credit card debt”)

“Nobody is giving money over for BS”
(“I’m a gullible goo-roo fanboy”)

“you haven’t demonstrated any reason for me to buy from you”
(“Send me MORE free stuff”)

“The secret is showing me something I just got to have”
(“tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies…”)

Hey, laugh all you want.

But anyone in business long enough knows I speaketh the trufe.

OK, let’s get serious for a second.

My friend Kristi has been reading my “Christian Business Secrets” book lately and was recently reminding me of some of the cool info inside. The book ain’t a feel-good tome telling you to vibrate with the universe or whatever and you’ll get rich by next Tuesday. What it DOES contain are dozens and dozens of ancient Biblical principles for selling and marketing people WANT to buy from.

However, it ain’t for the casual reader.

It’s a thick book.

For people who want MEAT not milk.

Anyway, it’s on Amazon at:

www.ChristianBusinessSecrets.com

Ben Settle

My favorite scene from the movie “Major League”:

RICK VAUGHN: What’s that shit on your chest?

EDDIE HARRIS: Crisco? Bardol? Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another 2 to 3 inches drop on your curve ball. Of course if the umps are watching me real close I’ll rub a little jalapeño up my nose, get it running, and if I need to load the ball up I just… wipe my nose.

Ha.

He was talking about (of course) baseball.

And gumming up the ball with various substances to manipulate the baseball to curve and drop better (all totally illegal in baseball).

We got a bit of that online these days, too.

I won’t say “illegal” necessarily.

(Although some of the stuff out there is.)

But there’s no shortage of goo-roo fanboys bragging about “tricking” people into buying whether or not it’ll be good for the customer.

The result?

Tons of refunds.

Armies of pissed off customers.

And a pile of chargebacks.

(Too many of those and you’re scroowed, chief).

And here’s the amusing part:

If these dudes would stop obsessing over manipulative tips & tricks, and instead focus on solid sales & marketing fundamentals, they’d make more sales, have tons of raving customers, and sleep like babies at night, instead of always being on the run.

So, so simple.

Maybe that’s why it’s not “cool.”

Whatever.

In my opinion making sales & happy customers is cool.

And when you sell the way I teach, you’re Fonzy.

Yes, I teach SOME tips & tricks.

(All harmless.)

But mostly, I’m a fundamentals kinda guy.

And when it comes to sales letters, this is probably why I’ve never really lost a head-to-head split test I am aware of. In fact, I have some ads that have been running (unchanged) for years — since 2007 and earlier (and in extremely competitive markets).

What’s the “big secret”?

I just follow the system I’ve developed over time.

The same material found in my Crypto Copywriting Secrets book.

It’s waiting for you on Amazon right now.

Grab your copywriting lovin’ here:

(For less than $3.00…)

http://www.amazon.com/Crypto-Copywriting-Secrets-profitable-ebook/dp/B008I5Q60W/

Ben Settle

Once upon a time I got to rapping with my droog Jim Yaghi about all the dorky jargon you see bandied about by goo-roo fanboys (and their masters in the goo-roo-hood). .

Our favorite was:

“Jedi mind trick”

And how they think they’re “tricking” people into buying.

Anyone who actually knows how to SELL (and not just pitch) understands how idiotic that whole mindset is. How, for example, you can use things like the so-called “law of reciprocity” (i.e. supposedly where you give something away free, and your poor sucker customers will feel sooooo obligated then to buy from you…) to get a one time sale.

Maybe.

But even if you do, then what?

You think they’ll be back for more?

For a second sale?

(Where the REAL $$ is in marketing.)

I doubt it, Chewie.

Personally, I prefer doing things that are in harmony with human psychology and sound, principled thought.

Like, for example what I call:

“Repulsion Marketing”

This is where I write emails that purposely REPEL people I don’t want buying by mocking them.

Kinda like this email is doing to goo-roo fanboys.

It’s no trick, babycakes.

I really DON’T want someone who brags about using “jedi mind tricks” on their list or whatever.

They’re the worst customers I’ve seen.

Frankly, they’re usually thieves and liars.

Who wants it?

Anyway, so that’s that.

Hey, want to make more sales?

Forget the jedi goo-roo tricks.

Instead try pissing someone off every day in your emails and watch what happens to your sales and the overall list quality.

It takes ballz.

And it may make you uncomfortable.

But only then, a jedi marketer will you be.

Begin your training here, padawan:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Ever see the movie “Network”?

It’s from 1976.

And, it’s about a TV network taking advantage of an eccentric ex-anchor’s ravings to drive up their own profits.

Anyway, it includes the somewhat infamous rant:

“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!”

In my humble (but always accurate) opinion, every single copywriter, email writer, direct marketer or sales man should watch this scene over and over and over to see the raw profit making power of having a unique (and eccentric) voice… of saying what nobody else has the ballz to say (but that everyone’s thinking)… and of being able to connect with large groups of people (i.e. your list) on an *emotional* level.

Here’s the scene:

How’d you like them apples?

THIS is email, baby.

You don’t have to rant like this, necessarily.

But people really DO respond to a passionate voice like that.

An example would be CNBC’s Rick Santelli and his on-air rant about government that was (from what I understand) the genesis of the “Tea Party.”

Hey, that’s what email is all about:

Passion.

Controversy.

Having a unique VOICE (your voice, not mine or anyone else’s).

And here’s the good newz:

Every day you have this kind of platform if you have your own email list. If you mail it regularly. And, if you write in the way people like to receive information.

The list and mailing are relatively easy.

Where people flounder is in delivery.

People often make idiots out of themselves when doing this because, while they have passion, they don’t know how to make their emails interesting without getting too heavy or deep.

Well, guess what?

This is what I teach in the “Email Players” newsletter.

(Specifically, in the free book that comes with your subscription).

It’s why it’s getting rave reviews.

Making people lots of $$.

And, even reviving dying businesses.

My stuff works.

But, only if you buy and use it.

Here’s where to go next:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Last Fall I got to yapping with a winemaker.

When I told him I did Internet marketing his eyes lit up and he practically begged me to give him ideas on how to sell his wine online. In fact, he offered to barter with me — giving me free wine in exchange for consulting.

But alas…

Being a newly minted wine snob, I turned him down.

(He only makes white wines, but I don’t dig on the whites.)

Anyway, his first response was:

“I know I should get my Facebook page up…”

Sigh.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to edu-ma-cate him on how a fruitcakebook page is the LAST thing he needs. That’s like sitting at the kid’s table trying to out-scream thousands of other people for attention, while the REAL business is being done at the adult’s table.

Like email, for example.

What he really needs to do is build a list.

Email it daily.

And, ask for the sale each and every time.

Just like the dude I analyze in the June “Email Players” issue does.

He sells $30 million of wine each year.

Using nothing but:

1. A squeeze page
2. Daily emails (often 2 emails per day)

And, he only ships twice per year.

Try doing that with fruitcakebook.

Or, any other social media.

This puppy goes to the printer in 9 days.

Subscribe in time here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

This was an interesting question…

“Hello Ben, I enjoy receiving your email daily and have a question for you. Would it make sense for a restaurant to send daily email using stories? The stories would revolve around the restaurants’ customers and all of  the customers would end up at the restaurant for one reason or another. There would be a subtle sales pitch in the middle of each story selling the different parts of the menu.”

Yep, mail daily fo’ sho’.

But, I would NOT just tell stories.

I’d switch it up.

A new surprise every day.

Just like I teach in the “Email Players” newsletter.

Only I’d be DOUBLE aggressive sending at least 2 emails 7 days per week — probably even 3 (one for each meal — breakfast, lunch, dinner).

More:

There’d be no “subtle” pitch.

Screw that sideways.

There’s no time to jerk around.

You gotta get those tables reserved.

So, they’d get a new offer each day. A new reason to stop in. A new “excuse” to dine (ideally multiple times per week/day) in my not-so-humble establishment.

Bottom line?

Restaurants, info products… services… it’s ALL the same.

The peculiars are different.

But frequent emails kick gluteus assimus.

This is why “Email Players” is so important. The free “Email Players Playbook” that comes with your subscription, and the monthly ongoing training (which includes different email formats — storytelling is just ONE of many) keep you from ever running out of ideas or different ways of approaching your list.

Next issue is related to this question.

It talks not about a restaurant using email.

But an independent wine maker.

A dude who does over $30 million per year.

JUST using email.

Subscribe here while there’s still time:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Uh-oh.

Someone doesn’t like my “swipe file” warning:

“I have been a subscriber of yours for over a year…At your invitation. Do you not think it’s very rude, and I might add downright ignorant to warn me, not to steal any of your material. If you were to invite some of your friends to your home for an evening dinner…Would you meet them at the door with this exclamation? ‘If you steal anything from my house–You will be hearing from my lawyer!’ And in the unlikely event, that you did utter this insult to your guest… Do you think they would still join you for dinner….? I rest my case……”

Amusing.

Let’s look at this rationally:

First, that warning is automatically appended to the bottom of every email and says “If you are thinking about stealing or swiping… blah blah blah”

Key word is “if”.

If you’re NOT thinking it, then it doesn’t apply to you.

Even an 8th grader knowz this.

Do I really have to explain it to a grown up?

Or, maybe he was thinking about stealing?

Hmm…

Secondly:

He didn’t think his analogy through.

Smart businesses protect their property.

And, yes, warn thieves away.

Example:

My credit union “invited” me to be a member. Yet, when I go to the ATM, there’s a big fat camera watching me. There’s also a warning about what happens if you steal money there, etc. Do I whine to the credit union about it being insulting?

Of course not.

They’re not inviting me to dinner.

They’re inviting me to do business.

They have to protect their property.

And, if you think your emails aren’t your intellectual property, then you probably don’t write emails that make sales (I have a monthly fix for that problem at www.EmailPlayers.com)

Profitable emails are assets.

They should be protected.

Including criminally prosecuting anyone who steals them.

Most smart marketers at least put a copyright notice on their emails.

The only difference between mine and everyone else’s?

I show the consequences.

It’s supposed to offend the bad guys.

That’s the point.

Duh.

Ben Settle