Ben Settle

The above is from a 1936 cartoon called “The Cobweb Hotel.”

I doubt if 1 in 10,000 people have heard of it.

But it’s kind of a helpful resource if you’re tempted to buy the latest goo-roo-of-the-week’s “killer” mega-expensive marketing course.

Here’s what I mean:

Back when I worked for “the man” duplicating videos, we had a client that sold these old, vintage cartoons rarely ever seen on TV anymore.

One of these cartoons was “The Cobweb Hotel.”

It was about newly-wed flies who go to stay at a makeshift “hotel” run by a hungry spider.

He was one sharp cookie, too.

This devious spider did everything from disguising his true “form” to putting a sign outside the hotel that said “For Flies Only” (nice target marketing) to giving exceptionally good customer service.

And his “customers” never knew what hit them.

As soon as these flies laid down in their comfy little beds (made of sticky spider webs), they were instantly stuck and at the blood-thirsty spider’s mercy.

It’s a lot like today’s Internet marketing shenanigans.

You know of what I speaketh, yeah?

The people constantly peddling “must have” how-to-make-big-bux-on-the-Internet products by putting on a great show (using all the sexy marketing tricks) and then — WHAM! — whacking peoples’ credit cards in exchange for a high priced box of junk filled with information just slightly different than their LAST product.

My point?

There are LOTS of “Cobweb Hotels” online.

Especially in the “how to make muney online” niches.

Before getting seduced by the latest marketing rock star’s song and dance, make sure you’re not dealing with just another two-bit spider herding flies into his web.

I mean, let’s face it:

Time is short and we’re in some spooky economic times.

And while I don’t have a crystal ball, I suspect the smart marketers will make out like bandits in the coming months, while everyone else suffers the same fate as the Cobweb Hotel flies:

Scared, vulnerable and screaming for help.

Ben Settle

P.S. For 101+ ways to avoid being a trapped little fly, check out:

I’ve been doing a TON of audio lately.

Mostly for my upcoming Crackerjack Selling CD Club as well as doing interviews and teachings for others.

And recently, something strange occurred to me.

I bet a lot of these people I talk to on the phone would be… disturbed (to say the least)… if they knew exactly what I do while yapping away with them.

Heck, they’d probably find it downright FREAKY.

Would you like to know what this “thing” I do is?

Are you sure?

Positive?

Okay then, you asked for it…

Often (99% of the time) when I’m doing some kind of tele-seminar, podcast or other phone interview, I’m holding one of my firearms. (Don’t worry, I usually remember to take the clip out… )

Question is, why do I do this?

Am I some kind of nut who fantasizes about shooting people on the phone?

No, no… nothing like that.

Believe it or not, there’s a very profitable reason for doing this.

Lemme explain:

A while back, some smart neuroscientists discovered a direct connection between your hands and the creative side of your brain.

I won’t even pretend to understand the specifics.

But maybe you have noticed this yourself while doing something with your hands (chores, writing, playing video games, brushing your teeth, shaving, etc) that ideas or solutions to nagging problems just sorta “pop” into your mind.

Happens to me ALL the time.

And that’s why, when I’m doing a tele-seminar or some kind of teaching on the phone, I keep my hands occupied with my trusty firearm.

Or maybe I’ll grab my 7 iron golf club and practice my swing.

Or putt golf balls into a plastic Coca-Cola cup in my office.

And so on, and so forth.

Does this really work?

You’re darn tootin’ it does.

In fact, my last several audio teachings (including two for a very high priced traffic generation course that have gotten rave reviews so far) were done gun in hand.

Anyway, just something to think about.

Especially if you ever get me on the phone 😉

Ben Settle

Yesterday’s “newbie” email really caused a ruckus.

And it also prompted a great question:

“Ben, I am new to my business, and am learning more every day. But I don’t want to come off as a newbie in guru clothing as you called it. Should I not demonstrate my knowledge then? And if so, what should I do?”

Mayhaps a bit of explanation is called for.

I’m not saying NOT to demonstrate your brilliance. That’s actually a pretty solid way to build credibility. What I’m saying is, before giving someone advice (especially if they didn’t ask for it), you need all the facts, first.

In other words, you have to ask questions.

LOTS of questions.

The people I mentioned yesterday did not do that.

They just charged in guns blazing with silly (and, in this case, ignorant) assumptions based on their own experiences or what they heard some goo-roo say.

Bad idea.

At least, if you want to make a real impact on someone.

Why?

Because it’s like “A List” freelancer Doug D’Anna said in his Copywriting Grab Bag interview:

“How can I offer a marketing critique for a product or a prospect I am 100% unfamiliar with?”

In other words, you have to be like a doctor:

You ask questions FIRST, then give your “diagnosis.”

That’s why (for example) when I do sales letter critiques, I don’t even look at the customer’s ad until they fill out a multi-page questionnaire about their market and their customers.

Otherwise, how can I possibly give them the right guidance?

Without asking questions first, my advice is worthless.

This is important stuff if you want to position yourself as a “for real” expert about whatever you sell.

It’s foolish to try and be a know-it-all.

Instead, be an “ask-it-all.”

It may not seem sexy, but it’s what separates the pros from the wannabes.

You can learn more about asking questions (and which questions to ask) in the upcoming “Crackerjack Selling Secrets” book:

Ben Settle

A few years ago, I heard some biz advice I’ll never forget.

It was from direct response copywriting master Bob Bly (quoting a man named Jim Alexander) in an interview about getting clients.

And it’s so good, I immediately memorized it.

What was the advice?

“I can deal with a client who is ignorant. I can deal with a client who is arrogant. But I cannot deal with one who is both.”

Translation…

If someone’s arrogant, but know what they’re doing, it’s fine to listen to them. You might even learn something. And if someone’s ignorant, that’s also OK. You can work with someone like that, too.

But if someone’s both, then watch your “gluteus maximus.”

Because you’re in trouble — with a capital “T”.

And guess what?

There are people like this EVERYWHERE online.

Example?

OK, few months ago, some dude on Twitter kept giving me (100% unsolicited — I did not ask for it) advice with the words “ignorant” and “arrogant” written all over it.

He “critiqued” everything from my tweets to my profile location.

Hey, I’m sure this chap meant well.

But he spent all his time yapping without bothering to ASK questions (to, uhm, see what my results were first — from which he may have learned something).

And so his advice came off as so much hot air.

Another example?

While back, another whipper-snapper marketer flat out insisted I only send 2 or 3 emails per MONTH instead of my usual 5 or 6 per WEEK.

Is that right?

So I should ditch my sales data because someone whose only education on the subject is a free report from 2003 says so? (This dude would have kittens if he saw the mega successful 3 emails per DAY series I just helped with.)

Look, I could go on and on.

This stuff is rampant online now (especially in social media).

Everyone’s an “expert” these days.

And while most of these people mean well (demonstrating their knowledge for credibility purposes) many are really just newbies in guru “clothing.”

Ignorant, arrogant and dangerous to your bottom line.

Ben Settle

P.S. One reason I’m creating the Crackerjack Selling CD Club is to counter all this tomfoolery. For more info, sally forth over to:

Last weekend I took a long day trip for kicks.

Nothing exciting happened (which was kinda the point).

But I did see one whopper of a dumb business mistake.

In fact, if you were to look up the definition of “big dumb stupid business mistake” you’d probably see a picture of the place I saw this blunder take place.

Here’s what happened:

I was in this small, “jerk-water” town in the middle of the woods (in northern California) and wanted a juice so I headed into this dinky little espresso joint. While the lady was getting the drink, I glanced down and saw the handwritten sign…

“Stop!” I said.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your sign says you don’t take plastic.”

“No problem, there’s an ATM across the street.”

OK now, here’s where the fun began:

I live in a small (really small) town myself and get this whole cash only thing. Heck, even the business center in my town is cash only.

So that blunder is not that big a crime in the grand scheme of things.

Dumb?

Yes.

A marketing crime?

Not so much.

No, the problem was, there was another place, CLOSER to that ATM, to get espresso. Which meant, this espresso joint was cheerfully sending good business across the street to an ATM machine that’s closer to their competition.

I wonder how much business their competition gets from this?

I bet they have a hearty laugh every time they see a customer walking from the other place, debit card in hand.

Oh well, that’s life in the little city.

But I admit, it did get me thinking about my own marketing.

In fact, afterwards I even did a quick run down of my own operations to make sure I wasn’t making a similar (embarrassingly obvious) mistake.

Not a bad habit to get into, is it?

And it’s so easy, even an espresso shop can do it.

Ben Settle

P.S. For 8 REALLY painful sales and marketing mistakes (including some doozies I’ve made) and how to avoid them, check out the free podcast I have up at:

Did you see that recent “7 overrated businesses” article?

It was all about these so-called “overrated” kinds of businesses that should be avoided by anyone looking to start a business in the gasping job market.

It was mostly just ivory tower drivel (IMHO).

But also kind of useful in way.

Here’s what I mean:

The article basically outlined 7 different business types (like restaurants, consulting, direct sales, etc) and described all the reasons why they tend to fail. In other words, it was more about protecting people from the bitter sting of failure… instead of succeeding.

Which was REALLY ironic.

Why?

Because weird as it sounds, failure is a requirement for success.

And like it or not, without failure you can’t truly succeed, so avoiding it pretty much makes you dead in the water right out the gate.

Hey, don’t blame me.

That’s just how it is.

In fact, you want to know something funny?

I’ve met (and worked with) some serious “power players” in business. Not just on the Internet, but offline biz owners, too. I’m talking about people who sometimes make more scratch in a DAY than the average working stiff makes in 6 months toiling away for the corporate beast masters.

And you know what all these people have in common?

They started out as miserable FAILURES.

And I mean BIG time failures.

The kind of failures people tend to laugh or snicker at in secret.

And yet, I’d bet green money every single one of them would tell you they learned FAR more from their failures… than their successes.

You MUST fail to succeed.

And usually, the FASTER you fail, the FASTER success happens.

Anyway, it was amusing how the article author — with all his fancy credentials, who writes business articles for prestigious papers and is invited on all the glamorous business TV shows — could miss this little zinger.

Failing is NOT something to hide from.

It’s something to embrace.

And (especially if you’re in a hurry) even SEEK out.

By the way, I’ll be sharing lots of “school of hard knocks” lessons learned from my own sales & marketing blunders in my coming Crackerjack Selling Secrets book.

Stay tuned.

Ben Settle

I made a big, fat blunder in last Friday’s email.

Do you remember it?

The email I sent about having lots of variety in your emails — so you never bore your readers, and (if you write emails correctly) even keep ’em on the edge of their seats, anxiously awaiting you to push that shiny, candy-like “send” button each day?

Let me explain:

To make my point, I used those variety cereal packs as an example.

The analogy being not to bore your list with the same “taste”.

Well, here’s where I goofed:

The reality is, just because someone buys that variety pack of cereals, doesn’t mean he or she won’t, for example, go “cuckoo” for Cocoa Puffs cereal 2 or 3 (or more) days in a row. And if that happens, the LAST thing you want to do is pour him a bowl of Trix or Fruity Pebbles or Count Chocula or whatever.

And that’s where my advice was a tad “askew.”

Because there are times when you may very well hit a “nerve” — a topic that gets ye old trusty cash register ringing.

In those cases, it might be kinda foolish to stop.

And variety would actually work AGAINST you.

Anyway, just another reason not to dogmatically cling to “rules.”

Especially when it comes to email marketing.

And speaking of which…

If you’re interested in more advanced email marketing tips and ideas, check out Appendix 8 (the Terry Dean interview) in The Copywriting Grab Bag. Terry’s secret on beefing up the responsiveness of your email list ALONE is, in my (blatantly and shamelessly biased) opinion, worth the entire cost of the book.

Next time… something to eat besides email marketing.

Ben Settle

Recently, I did an all-but-the-kitchen-sink email marketing training.

It was for a prestigious Internet traffic generation course created by some buddies and clients of mine. And I revealed ALMOST everything (about 80%) I know about exploding sales and profits with email.

However, there’s one little zinger I forgot to include.

Something that makes emails (and blog posts, articles, podcasts, etc) a LOT more fun for you to create and more enjoyable for your list to receive.

What am I yapping about?

Variety.

In fact, if you frequently email (and I believe you should, no matter what the ex-spurts say) then variety is mucho important.

And without it, you could accidentally turn even winning ideas into duds.

Take TV as an example.

One of my favorite TV shows is “Smallville” — which is about Clark Kent’s teenage adventures before his Superman days.

And sometimes they do “red kryptonite” episodes.

You see, in the show (like the movies and comics), green kryptonite hurts, weakens and can even kill Clark. But red kryptonite has a different effect: It basically takes away his conscience. So he’s like a sociopath doing things like working for the mob, robbing banks, telling people about his powers, eloping with psycho women in Vegas and basically acting like a kid on drugs.

Anyway, here’s the point:

The red kryptonite episodes are VERY popular.

And they tend to boost ratings big time.

But if they did red kryptonite stories every week, it wouldn’t work. It wouldn’t have the same ratings power. And, frankly, it’d bore people to tears.

Same with your emails.

If you email a lot (and again, you should) then mix it up.

Don’t pour your list the same box of cereal each day.

Be like those Kellogs cereal variety packs — where one day you feed them Frosted Flakes. Then you give them Fruit Loops the next. Then maybe toss Corn Pops in the mix or Special K or Rice Krispies, etc.

Trust me, your readers will LOVE you for it.

And if you know how to write emails, so will your bank account 😉

Ben Settle

P.S. By the way, I WILL be doing an in-depth “reveal everything” email marketing teaching in my upcoming Crackerjack Selling CD Club in the coming months.

Trust me, you ain’t seen nuttin yet.

Remember that “time to make the donuts” dude?

He was the short, pudgy guy with the mustache in the “Dunkin’ Donuts” commercials who looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, who walked into work each morning saying, “Time to make the donuts…” (One time he was so overworked, he walked in and said “Time to make the donuts” only to see another version of himself coming out answering, “I already made the donuts…”)

Anyway, I’ve been making a lot of “donuts” lately (so to speak).

And just don’t have time to write a real tip today.

So instead, I want to reprint a special offer where you can get an extremely valuable sales letter teaching I did in exchange for donating something (anything) to my friends’ medical fund.

No amount is too small (even $1 helps).

And you’ll be making a HUGE difference in someone’s life.

Ben Settle

P.S. Here is the offer…

I recently gave an extremely valuable teaching on sales letters.

A teaching that (I believe) contains everything you need to write profitable ads — whether you’re a total sales letter “newbie”, or a seasoned pro looking for some new techniques for your “arsenal”.

And guess what?

Even though I consider it the most valuable teaching I’ve ever done, and could easily sell it for $97 (or more), I’ll let you have it today at ANY price you choose (even if it’s only $1).

I’ll explain why in a second.

First, here are some of the unusual (even “contrarian”) sales letter secrets in this teaching:

• When using testimonials can actually kill your sales.

• A secret way to use stories to make your sales letters FAR more persuasive. (I learned this while selling TV advertising for CBS. And it works like crazy in sales letters and ads.)

• A “shortcut” way to research brand new markets.

• How that “swipe file” packed with ads that have made lots of money can HURT your response.

• Why you should NOT always load your sales letters with benefits.

• A little-talked about way to use sidebars to immediately bump your response.

• How to sell to skeptical prospects without a lot of “proof” elements.

• How to (legally and ethically) use your competitors‘ testimonials in YOUR sales letters.

• The right (and wrong) ways to test your ads. (Including a certain part of your ad almost nobody ever tests, but that giant magalog mailers have seen bump response by 200% or MORE.)

• An “old school” door-to-door salesman’s secret that can make writing your headlines super fast and easy.

• The single best time to put an order link in your sales letters. (Put it in too early or too late and you can lose a ton of sales. Put your first order link here, and watch what happens.)

• When NOT to use a headline in your sales letters.

• The secret copywriting technique that makes even your most outstanding claims 100% believable. (Most copywriters don’t have the cajones to do this. Yet it almost always increases response — and usually by a LOT.)

• And much, much more.

OK, here’s the deal:

Until recently, I was only going to give this MP3 to people who join my upcoming “CD-of-the-month” deal. Or, maybe even sell it for $97 or more.

But something happened to change my mind:

One of my buddies had a stroke at the age of 33.

I can’t even imagine how hellish that’d be. Especially since the doctors still don’t know why it happened (or how to prevent another one). Plus, since he didn’t have health insurance when the hammer dropped, he’s buried in hospital bills.

And I’d like to help him get some relief.

So, if you donate something (anything — even $1) to his hospital bill fund, I’ll give you the above sales letter teaching in exchange.

In other words:

If you donate a buck or two, that’s fine.

If you want to be a stud and donate $20 or $30, even better.

And if you donate $50 (or more), then I’ll toss in two MORE interviews on copywriting, marketing and selling to further “sweeten” the deal.

Anyway, if you’re interested, make your donation at:

And then forward your PayPal receipt to: ben (at) bensettle.com

As soon as I get it, I’ll send you the interview.

Again, any amount works ($1, $10, $50 — whatever).

And you’ll make a HUGE difference in my buddy’s life right now.

Ben Settle