Ben Settle

Learned something kinda disturbing yesterday:

I got a TON of good feedback on the “Mr. Furley’s Sales Secrets” email, which confirmed my original suspicion:

Y’all are just as weird as me 😉

However, one subscriber did have a question:

“Ben, I loved the Mr. Furley sales tips, but how can they be applied to copywriting???”

That’s a great question.

Copywriting IS selling like any other kind of selling. The peculiarities and “mechanism” are unique. But at the end of the day, selling is selling is selling.

Mr. Furley’s macho sales tips are as easily applied to copywriting as any other selling (i.e. belly-to-belly, phone, social media, PPC, etc).

And with a little “stragerty”, you can make Mr. Furley your personal copywriting desktop guru.

Let’s take them one-by-one:

1. Confidence

If you aren’t writing your ads with confidence and authority, then you’re killing your own response. If you come off as some limp-wristed weakling in your ads, nobody is going to care what you say.

So tap into your inner Mr. Furely.

Just make a loud sniff, put your groovy Mr. Furley neck scarf on, and let confidence ooze out of you.

2. Bad Dresser

Again, there’s something “off” about perfectly polished sales people.

And as you’ll see in my copywriting book misspellings, butchered grammar and “bad writing” can BOOST your response.

There’s a reason so many marketers report “ugly” websites and layouts increasing response.

Of course, this isn’t ALWAYS the case.

But dressing your site up like Mr. Furley is certainly worth testing.

3. Un-Okay

Remember, nobody’s perfect.

And coming off as perfect in your ads is a recipe for disaster.

That’s one reason STORIES work so well.

Stories show you’re a human being. That you’ve made the same painful mistakes as your readers. That you are “one of them.”

And we all love buying from other people like us — who were in our shoes and figured out a way to get out of whatever problem your product/service solves.

4. Land Lord

As land lord, Mr. Furley knows how to get paid.

He HAS to inspire people to pay him (on time) on a monthly basis. No late payments, no lame excuses… or he’ll evict your azz.

Same with copywriting.

If you don’t know how to ask for the sale in your copywriting, and get PAID, you’re dead in the water.

So that’s how you apply Mr. Furley’s sales studliness to your ads.

Copywriting IS selling — just in print (or on the screen).

Just about every top copywriter I know studies “full contact” sales and applies what they learn to their copywriting.

And with a little creativity, you can do the same.

Ben Settle

P.S. In The Copywriting Grab Bag appendixes you can learn more ways to apply other sales strategies to your business. Ken McCarthy, for example, reveals some cool telephone upsell tips. And Doug D’Anna talks about how he creates his blockbuster direct mail controls with really basic sales psychology.

Ever watch the old sitcom “3’s Company”?

The show with Jack Tripper and the gang?

My favorite character is Mr. Furley — the dorky landlord.

He was played by Don Knotts and wore obnoxious leisure suits with loud colors, thought he was a “ladies man” and was always bumbling around making a jackass of himself.

Anyway, I recently got to thinking:

Mr. Furley may have been a social leper… but I bet he would’ve been a selling stud.

In fact, there are LOTS of lessons Mr. Furley can teach us:

1. Confidence

At least, when it came to women.

He loved referring to himself as a “macho man” around the ladies (with his characteristic loud sniff.)

And he had no problem letting people know he was God’s gift to women — despite not having a date in years. (Kinda like the consultant who tells you 300 ways to make love but can’t get a date himself).

Anyway, confidence is key in selling.

And in this area, Mr. Furley had lots of it.

2. Bad Dresser

Let’s face it, Mr. Furley’s loud colors (and that dopey neck scarf) don’t exactly scream “sales man!”

Which actually works in his FAVOR.

There’s something about people TOO polished that’s hard to trust.

Yet, many of us have no problem trusting the poor slob who doesn’t match his socks, wears his pants a size too short and butchers every other word out of his mouth.

3. Un-Okay

Mr. Furley is nothing if not “un-okay.”

And people who are un-okay are VERY easy to talk with (and buy from).

A perfect example is the TV show detective Columbo. Columbo does NOT look like the world’s greatest detective. In fact, he always appears to be bumbling and struggling. And it’s an act to get people to lower their guards and reveal information.

But it’s no act for Mr. Furley.

No sir!

He really IS a buffoon.

But he’s also approachable and easy to hang with. Just like that weird uncle who shows up at family picnics everyone loves being around.

Which, of course, makes selling much easier.

4. Land Lord

Finally, as the land lord, Mr. Furley knows how to get paid.

And not only get paid… but get paid over and over and over each and every month by dozens of people.

If Mr. Furley were an Internet marketer, I bet he’d have a great continuity program running on virtual “auto-pilot” that requires as little effort as possible.

After all, he’s too busy being a mac daddy with the ladies to spend a lot of time on it 😉

And that’s all there is to it.

Mr. Furely’s world-class tips for closing sales.

Learn ’em, use ’em, and profit from ’em.

(Just don’t dress like him, necessarily.)

Ben Settle

P.S. And speaking of continuity programs…

This is probably a good time to mention my upcoming continuity program about selling (ANY kind of selling — copywriting, marketing, face-to-face, phone, social media, PPC, SEO, setting up JV’s, the works).

Don’t worry, it won’t be outrageously expensive.

And you will get a free copy of my new book about 101 easy and ethical selling secrets (which will cost $97.00 on Amazon soon) just for trying it.

To hop on the notification list for updates, go to:

Have you heard the latest FTC hoopla?

The gummint “chatter” about how they are reviewing the testimonial laws and (from what I’ve seen) making them so tight, it won’t hardly even be worth using testimonials anymore?

Well, nobody really knows what’s coming down the pike.

But a lot of marketers seem pretty freaked out by the idea.

Me?

I rarely rely on testimonials (even if I have them) to do my selling for me. They are, in my opinion, one of the weakest forms of proof out there right now. They are easily manufactured and most sound completely canned anyway.

Hey, don’t get me wrong.

I LOVE using testimonials.

And I have them on my own ads when possible.

I’m always, for example, using them to sell my copywriting book.

But this lame idea that you “need” testimonials is a myth.

I remember at least one time where testimonials HURT my response.

And you know what?

If you can’t sell without testimonials, you got bigger problems.

Probably with your positioning, story-telling or (and this is always the biggie) with your message to market match.

Anyway, here’s my point:

Don’t let the FTC’s latest brain fart shake you up.

If you focus on learning to sell using the natural (never changing) laws of human behavior and basic sales psychology, you got nuttin’ to fear from the FTC boogeymen.

In fact, since so many other marketers tend to rely on testimonials (instead of learning how to SELL), you’ll be WAY ahead of the game.

Just use their ignorance of selling to your advantage.

Ben Settle

P.S. For dozens and dozens and dozens of ways to write ads that pull mucho response — whether you have raving testimonials or not — scootch on over to www.CopywritingGrabBag.com

Well, it finally happened.

Something I’d been dreading for two years FINALLY came to pass.

And, as is usual when something stoopid happens, there’s powerful, business lesson in it.

Here’s the story:

Since moving to the coast 2 years ago, I’ve made it a habit (when it’s not raining, at least) to walk my dog on the beach.

And each time we get there, we have to walk past this giant group of seagulls. And each time we approach them, they go crazy, flying around all over the place. And each time I KNOW they’re gonna take a dump (i.e. poop) on me.

Well guess what?

Last Friday, it finally happened.

A big gooping mess flew right onto my sleeve.

Uhg.

Anyway, here’s why you should care:

This kinda-sorta happens in selling and business, too.

No matter who you are… or how SUCCESSFUL you are… you are always going to be faced with things you dread in business.

Something annoying you KNOW is coming… eventually.

The “business bird poop” that, as much as you wish otherwise, is going to land smack dab on you one way or another.

Maybe it’s an objection you’ve been scared to death someone will ask. Or you’ll get a question you feared answering because you don’t know the answer. Or perhaps you will deal with a client who’s a pain in the azz you have to “fire.”

Look, business bird poop can take any number of forms.

And it always sucks when it lands on you.

But you know what I discovered?

When that bird poop landed on me, after 2 years of KNOWING it was going to happen, it wasn’t that big a deal.

For one thing, it landed on my sleeve.

It could’ve been worse — and landed in my face, right? And it just wasn’t a big thing at all. I simply went home, took the shirt off, and went about my day.

It’s the same in your business, too.

When bird poop hits you (and it WILL) be thankful it wasn’t worse.

Just take off your shirt, throw it away and move on.

Do that and next time you probably won’t dread it.

In fact, you’ll laugh at it.

Ben Settle

P.S. If you’d like over 122 (heck, more like 200) secrets for creating ads that will help “bird poop proof” yourself, jump on your high horse and gallop on over to:

Let me tell you about the “waving guy.”

Back when I first moved to this area in 2007, we drove into a town about 30 miles south where I live and were greeted by a most unusual sight:

A guy walking up and down the street… WAVING at everyone.

As someone who is originally from the big city Chicago-land area, I must say, it was shocking.

Here was this guy walking up and down a major street through town, waving and “greeting” everyone driving by.

And when you honk your horn, he also bows and tips his hat!

Just the coolest thing you’ll ever see.

Since then, whenever we go to that town, we’re always looking for him. Sometimes we see him, and sometimes not. But when we do see him, we (along with most other cars) honk and wave back.

Corny as it sounds, it just makes you feel good to see this guy.

You almost look FORWARD to it.

It really puts things in perspective, too.

Here’s a guy who is being kind and decent for no reason whatsoever.

He doesn’t ask for anything.

Doesn’t want anything.

And doesn’t have any “agenda” but to brighten peoples’ days.

Which is exactly what he does.

We’ve even noticed that if we were feeling a bit stressed, angry, frustrated, etc, that it ALL goes away when we drive by this guy.

All that “junk” is replaced by a feeling of gratitude and joy. Like you’re just happy to be alive — free on God’s green earth.

Anyway, last time I saw him, I got to thinking:

What an awesome metaphor for how businesses should behave.

How much difference would it make to your business, your health and your overall peace of mind if people thought of YOU the same way people think of the waving guy?

Where people look forward to hearing from you?

Look forward to telling people about you?

And look forward to buying from you?

And not because you even necessarily have the “best” product or service. But just because you leave their lives a little better than BEFORE they did business with you?

Anyway, just something to think about.

How can you be the “waving guy” (or gal) in your industry?

The business people figuratively honk their horns at when surfing your website and reading your emails, and flat out feel GOOD they met and did business with you?

It’s worth some serious thought.

Especially today, with so much despair and chicanery in the world.

Ben Settle

You can read more about the waving guy, and learn his truly inspirational story here:

Ready to complete the first “marketing monsters” trilogy with me?

OK, then…

Here are even MORE blood-thirsty marketing monsters… and how to defend yourself against them:

**Wandering Business Wendigo**

This business USED to be a normal, healthy business.

But something happened and it stopped testing and trying new ideas.

To survive, it cannibalised its existing business by creating products that were basically the same as the ones it already sells.

That worked for a while, but it soon lost customers because nobody wants a warmed over version of something they already bought.

So with less customers buying… it got hungry and started cannibalising OTHER peoples’ products, marketing and ideas — creating cheap knockoffs and making just enough to live day by day.

This howling beast is now ALWAYS looking to feed.

And there’s only one way to stop it:

By creating your business, marketing and advertising around YOU.

They can always knock off your products.

But they can never truly knock off “you” or your personality.

**Deadline Dracula**

This night stalker is nothing if not charming.

He seduces and enchants new service providers (copywriters, designers, etc) into doing a job. Then, at the LAST minute, dumps a bunch of NEW changes on you to be completed by the deadline.

And because he knows you need his money, he expects you to do it otherwise he won’t pay you.

This wicked thing cannot be fully stopped.

But you can ward him off by being so good at marketing, you won’t need them or their money. Because you will have clients lined up to do business with you.

Doing that is like draping a big silver cross around your neck and wearing a garlic necklace so deadline Draculas won’t be able to stand the sight of you.

If you’re a newbie service, watch yourself.

This monster is probing you… stalking you… and waiting to strike.

**Serial Refunding Succubus**

This elusive demon likes to hop from one business to the next — buying products, copying the content, and then refunding them while you’re sleeping.

You can sometimes see it lurking on sites like clickbank and anywhere else they can have an easy refund policy.

You know it has struck when you make a sale and, within a few days, it’s already been returned.

Since it usually attacks while you’re sleeping, there’s not much you can do about it.

But you CAN help stop its rampage.

Simply keep a file (like I do) of anyone who refunds with a lame excuse and don’t sell to them again.

You can also tell your colleagues to watch out for them, too.

And there you have it.

The first “trilogy” of marketing monster emails. These things are out there waiting in the shadows. Watch for them and know how to recognize them.

Doing so will give you peace of mind and greater success.

Ben Settle

P.S. If you’d like to see the first two marketing monster lessons…

www.BenSettle.com/blog/encyclopedia-of-marketing-monsters

www.BenSettle.com/blog/return-of-the-marketing-monsters

Emails, emails, emails.
‘O how I love emails.
They’re short, they’re sweet.
And the smackeroos they make is
‘Oooo such a treat.

Okay, I KNOW that was just about the dorkiest poem ever written.

But it’s 100% true.

I love email, I’m a big fan of email marketing, and today, I’m going to give you some extremely helpful tips on the subject I call:

However, before you read them, just know this:

I call them “dumb” since they have cost me a lot of moolah. In other words, they are dumb for me to use. Maybe they work for you, but they’ve my hurt sales big time.

Remember, what works for me may NOT work for you.

So that said, here are my 9 dumb-dumb email mistakes to avoid:

1. Only mailing when you have something to sell

2. Following the herd (what everyone else is doing)

3. Being a controversy ‘fraidy cat

4. Caring what marketers (especially copywriters) think

5. Doing teasers, instead of full emails

6. Not being yourself — “warts” and all

7. Not having fun 🙁

8. Spending too much time writing your emails

9. Swiping other peoples’ emails instead of being original

OK, there’s a LOT more than that.

But if you simply avoided doing those 9 things for 30 days, I can almost promise you will see your sales go up, your traffic spike, and have new opportunities thrust your way you didn’t even know EXISTED before.

That’s been my case.

And I suspect it would happen for you, too.

Ben Settle

P.S. There’s also a 10th mistake I forgot to add:

Trying to get really good at this without guidance.

At least, this has been my experience. I used to sit there and try to “reverse engineer” certain marketers’ emails to see what made them “tick” with little or no success.

In fact, that would backfire on me and hurt my results.

Of course, maybe it’s different with you.

Maybe you’re a natural born email butt-kicker.

But if you want to learn some powerful tips from an email marketing master, check out the interview I did with Terry Dean in The Copywriting Grab Bag.

He’s one of the original email marketing pioneers.

And he really has email marketing down to a **science**.

Got some blatant Copywriting Grab Bag testimonials to share.

One of which is a video that reveals a cool info-publishing tip.

Here’s the first one…

Dear Ben,

I got your Copywriting Grab Bag in the mail and I was thrilled! I wanted to thank you right away but… I COULDN’T put it down!

The Ken McCarthy interview is pure gold! I’ve listened to it twice already and read the transcripts several times. Ken’s insight about the two biggest mistakes in ads are priceless.

Almost every line in that interview drops another copywriting gem and it crystallized a lot of what I read about copywriting. I’ve read pretty much every classic copywriting book out there, and some times it just doesn’t hit home…

But yesterday – I felt like lightning struck me!

Maybe I’m a bit TOO EXCITED… and I’m sure it will wear off, but that interview rocked. And I almost feel guilty just listening to that interview – It dropped some real gems for me.

There’s so much junk on the net that when you find real value it really hits you.

Thank-you Ben for making this information available.

—Courtney Houde

BEN: Glad you liked it so much Courtney, I agree with you — Ken’s interview IS extremely valuable. I love it how most copywriters have no clue some of this stuff exists. Don’t you?

Hello Ben.

We received your book and think its fabulous although I do have a little problem with it. It’s keeping us up at night.

For example, last night my wife read one of the sections. It talked about using testimonials to determine what benefits your market is seeing that you may not be. It struck a chord with me because I’ve been struggling with the exact same thing you were writing about.

We were excited to find someone like you who knew what we were going through.

Needless to say my trip to dreamland was a bumpy one. I kept thinking about my copy coming together as if by magic. I couldn’t wait until 4AM when I could rise and get at my word processor again.

So please don’t write any more of this stuff ok? I need my sleep.

I’m off to take a nap now.

—David Parsons

BEN: David, that testimonial “trick” is pretty cool and makes writing ads a LOT easier. I’m glad you’re putting it to good use, even if it robs you of a few hours of shut eye 😉

Finally…

Here’s a video testimonial about the older version (which doesn’t have NEARLY as much cool stuff as the current version).

Plus, it also reveals a “warp speed” way to create info products:

Hey Ben,

I did a review of your book:

Thanks for writing it and helping me get started in copywriting.

—Chris Blackerby

BEN: Chris, I REALLY appreciate you taking the time to do that.

I’m a **sucker** for a good video testimonial. Especially when it’s about one of my products 😉

Well, my friend, that’s it for today.

If you don’t have The Copywriting Grab Bag, what are you waiting for?

You can grab your copy now at:

Next time… something else.

Ben Settle

P.S. I recently took most of the interviews off my site. They are now ONLY available on the CD that comes with The Copywriting Grab Bag.

The value now packed into this product for $137 is almost unreal.

While back, I sent an email that stirred up the blog “purists.”

It was the one about why I send out FULL emails… instead of “teasers” that send people to a website or blog to read the message (like I USED to do, and like the majority of other marketers STILL do).

As expected, one of my long-time subscribers objected.

He said for every reason I gave for sending full emails, he had a counter reason to send a teaser sending people to a website.

And I have to admit, his arguments were ALL solid.

But, being an extremely savvy marketer, he tested full emails anyway

Here are his results:

Hi Ben,

I’ve noticed a WHOPPING increase in sales since mailing my newsletters fully in the email instead of sending my readers to my blog first.

Although I had many more “logical” reasons (as we discussed) to send people directly to my blog; the fact is you only need one reason to do something — the MOST IMPORTANT REASON which is SALES.

In my case, I feel I simply reached more people by communicating my messages directly in the email.

My last two emails made me much more than I expected.

Anywhere from 50 to 100% more sales than I anticipated.

So thanks for convincing me of sending out my full content in the email instead of trying to get people to read it on my blog.

It’s made a HUGE difference in my results.

Roger Haeske
The 41-Year-Old Teenager
http://Be40Look20.com

So there ya have it.

Just another reason to buck the Web 2.0 herd and test full emails.

Ben Settle

P.S. For even more advanced email teaching, check out www.StreetSmartEmail.com