Ben Settle

A while back a friend asked me about writing.

She hadn’t written anything yet.

But, she wanted to know how to get started, how to produce quality work fast, how much time she needed to dedicate to it, how to fit writing into her ultra busy family and work life, and the list goes on.

My answer?

Well, it’s too long to go into here.

So, instead, I decided to do a podcast just about this.

And guess what?

Tomorrow is that podcast.

If you want to be a better, faster, and more prolific writer (regardless of your skill level now, or what kind of writing you do — fiction, non-fiction, copywriting, etc) then get yo gluteus assimus on iTunes tomorrow.

I’ll let you know soons’ it’s ready.

To download past episodes, go ye here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/itunes

Ben Settle

Behold:

1. Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn’t mean anything else.

2. Always prefer the plain direct word to the long, vague one. Don’t implement promises, but keep them.

3. Never use abstract nouns when concrete ones will do. If you mean ‘More people died’ don’t say ‘Mortality rose’.

4. Don’t use adjectives which merely tell us how you want us to feel about the thing you are describing. I mean, instead of telling us a thing was ‘terrible’, describe it so that we’ll be terrified. Don’t say it was ‘delightful’; make us say ‘delightful’ when we’ve read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers, ‘Please will you do my job for me’.

5. Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say ‘infinitely’ when you mean ‘very’; otherwise you’ll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.

(Source C.S. Lewis’ Letters to Children)

It’s delightful advice…

Anyhoo.

Go here next:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

P.S. Sunday’s “Ben Settle Show” podcast is all about how to be a better writer (any kind of writer — creative, copy, fiction, editorial, etc).

Stay tuned…

Ho, ho, ho…

If you want to do something on Christmas that:

1. Will bond your list to you more (making them more likely to want to buy from you in future emails)

2. Probably make you sales

3. And give your list a chuckle

(Which can put more coinage in your hot little pocketses)

Then here’s all you do:

Send your list an email on Christmas day.

But, not just ANY email.

What I want you to do is send them an email describing advice you are giving to Santa Clause giving advice about whatever it is you sell — just use your imagination.

Yes, it’s kinda dorky.

And no, it’s not going to make you a million dollars.

But it MIGHT get you some sales.

It MIGHT make your list look forward to more emails.

And it MIGHT even make ’em laugh.

(As Dan Kennedy has wisely said: “People buy more and buy more happily when in good humor.”)

What???

You don’t know how?

You have no idea how to begin such an email?

OK, relax!

I’m going to give you a template. I’ve sent this exact email (the product and URL details have been removed) to a list of weight loss prospects in another business I partner in.

Anyway, here’s the template.

Switch out my product/market details with yours:

Santa’s CrAzY 2015 fat loss plan

Heya!

I know it’s Christmas night and you probably want to go to bed (I
do too!) but I HAVE to tell you about this crazy little guy who
showed up at my door tonight.

He was short, about 4 feet tall.

He also had weird shoes that curled at the toe.

And even more weird, he had pointy ears.

I asked him who he was and he said he was a messenger from Santa!
Apparently, Santa is getting older and slower, and he’s concerned
about his weight now. He is worried about having heart problems and
doesn’t want to drop dead one day while carrying presents to kids
due to his weight.

So he wanted my advice.

Can you believe that?

So here’s what I told this messenger to tell Santa:

1. Start eating more protein!

I told the messenger to tell Santa to get those elves to start
bringing him more meat, beans and protein, instead of white carbs
like bread, etc.

2. Quit eating the cookies and milk!

When going to down chimneys and seeing plate of cookies and a glass
of milk, ignore it! And instead, leave a note next to them saying
next year he’d prefer to be left fruit or maybe some meat and
cheese, instead.

And instead of milk, leave water.

Protein waters are fine, too.

If he needs advice, he should check out my ____ product:

(URL)

3. Start exercising more

He doesn’t have to huff and puff and sweat and strain, he can do my
_____ program instead, that’s fine:

(URL)

I said to tell Santa this is NOT based on hard exercise.

It’s based on using his nervous system and was developed by a
Russian “super soldier” who wanted a way to get in shape quickly.

4. Start walking more!

In other words…

Instead of hitching up the reindeer team to go to the store or run
errands, I told the messenger to tell Santa to get his blubber butt
outside and walk through the snow, it’s great for his heart and
body.

5. Lay off 50% of the elves

Let’s face it.

All those elves are dead weight.

And by trimming his workforce down, he’ll also trim his
considerable stomach down, too, because he’ll be forced to roll up
his sleeves and do more work.

Anyway, so that’s that.

This is the plan I have for Santa.

We’ll see if he listens in 2015.

Have a GREAT holiday season.

I’ll see you soon! 🙂

SIGNATURE

And that’s all there is to it.

I hope you use this template.

Even if you don’t get a bunch of sales, just doing stuff like this now and then has a lot of power for future sales (and makes people look forward to reading future emails from you).

I kid ye not on this.

Try it and you’ll see for yourself.

For more email ideas, check out:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

I got a question a while back from a subscriber about being entertaining in emails.

He said he tries and tries and fails.

And, do I have any tips for him?

Survey says:

Yeppers.

In fact, I once wrote an entire “Email Players” issue just on how to be entertaining in emails a couple years ago.

One tip I didn’t write about in it, though, is this:

Surround yourself with entertainment.

Watch funny sitcoms.

Listen to stand up comics.

Pay attention to the top talk radio hosts.

Hellz, you can even use funny objects to start making yourself think more like an entertainer.

Want an example?

Okay then, checky:

Most days when I wake up I do my bid’niz (i.e. go to the bathroom) in the downstairs bathroom. And, as I stand there relieving my full bladder (yes, I know, TMI, whatevs) I stare at a plaque on the wall in front of the toilet that has a pirate skull and crossbones on a piece of wood that says:

“Poop Deck”

Maybe not knee-slapping funny.

But it gives me a chuckle each time. Puts my mind in the “mood” for entertainment. And, I believe, helps my emails.

More:

Another way to be entertaining is to simply tell stories.

Stories are naturally entertaining.

And, has been the chief means by which human beings share and process information (even memory training courses will have you put facts into story form to memorize them) for thousands of years.

Why?

Because they work.

They’re entertaining.

And, yes, they’re persuasive.

The January “Email Players” issue is all about stories.

How to tell ’em.

How to sell with ’em.

And, how to profit with ’em.

Get yo bootay to this link to get it in time:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

A few weeks ago I re-watched a movie called:

“Secondhand Lions”

It’s about a shy, young boy sent by his irresponsible mother to spend the summer with his wealthy, eccentric uncles in Texas. And, one of my favorite scenes is when the uncles (who are filthy rich) are sitting on the porch waiting, rifles in hand, for a sales man to show up, who they promptly shoot at for kicks.

It’s something they do a lot.

And, the kid can’t understand why his uncles do it.

In fact, eventually the kid asks:

“Why not see what he has to sell?”

The result?

They start buying stuff!

They simply didn’t realize how fun it was to buy.

And you know what?

Most of us are like that — hostile to anything resembling a sales pitch… yet we still love to BUY if something fulfills a desire or solves a problem we have.

Moral of the story?

People are hostile to salesmen.

But they also like to buy.

And if you are one of the few people selling to your market who knows how to sell in a way where they enjoy buying… where they are not hostile to you… and, yes, where they *welcome* your sales pitches, well, you got it made in the shade, my little droogie.

Enter the January “Email Players” issue.

It’s all about storytelling.

Stories that make it fun to write your emails.

Fun for your list to read your emails.

And, yes, fun for them to buy from your emails.

Subscription info here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Finally, someone “gets” it…

Hey Ben!

The name is Trey, and I’ve been receiving your emails for a short amount of time now and just wanted to say, thanks!

Thanks for being one of the “rare” people on my list that I can depend on for realism!

Realism in the way the you write, approach an idea, and the way that you don’t put any fluff on it!

It’s in your face, un-censored writing that a person like me can appreciate.

And I love the end of every email too!

“If you are even thinking about swiping or stealing this email, I suggest…….”

(I have no intentions of coping them either, just saying)

Anyway,

Thanks so much for doing what you do and I look forward to the next email I gat from ya!

Hang loose man!

The Force is strong with this one.

You know, I cannot tell you how much it amuses me when someone takes that signature at the end of each email personally.

“Oooooh I’m so insulted!”

“Why do you keep threatening me?”

Or, my favorite, the blue-light special who recently seethed about what a “douche” I am… how no other marketer does that… and a bunch of other self loathing projection and babble.

My entire mastermind group laughed our asses off at it.

Especially when we saw his “IM scammer” site.

Anyway, I looooove when people whine about that letter.

I can imagine them now:

They land on my site.

They see the “swipe file” tab at the top.

They get a boner at the thought of all the copy they can plagiarize and steal and make money with the so-called “lazy way.”

Then… boom:

There’s no swipe file.

Just a letter about how it’s illegal to plagiarize emails word-for-word. Why they should sac up and write their own copy & content. And, the legal consequences of stealing. (Can’t wait to hear the squawks when I publish a JUDGEMENT letter. Heh.)

Good times.

Good times…

All right.

On to business:

The next “Email Players” issue shows you all kinds of ways to write stories in your emails that’ll make you a helluva lot more sales than swiping ever will.

She goes to print in less than 2 weeks.

Get in while you can, here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

A Forex marketer laments:

Hey need to ask you about emails.

______ claims to send emails daily non stop. But after 30 days of poaching me to join his course. He doesn’t send me anymore.

Why did you guys keep sending me even though I don’t buy. But wouldn’t you fear that I’ll leave when you keep sending me sales pitch hidden in a story?

Also how the hell you come out with so much context? I’m in the forex niche. I’m having headache coming up with humor on Obama and mitt Romney and the recent printing money by the euro spoken by Mario to fight deflation.

Where do you find the hook? How did you bring it back to the round table of presenting curiosity to your courses?

Soooo many questions.

Soooo eager to learn…

First, I can’t speak for the guy you mentioned who stops emailing you after 30 days.

You gotta ask him.

As for your other questions:

“Why did you guys keep sending me even though I don’t buy. But wouldn’t you fear that I’ll leave when you keep sending me sales pitch hidden in a story?”

Hardly.

I don’t fear you leaving.

If anything, I want you gone if you have already made up your mind you’re never going to buy.

You don’t want to buy?

That’s your loss, Boss, not mine.

Go thou and opt-out.

“Also how the hell you come out with so much context? I’m in the forex niche. I’m having headache coming up with humor on Obama and mitt Romney and the recent printing money by the euro spoken by Mario to fight deflation.”

I study my markets.

I know what they want.

And, I use what I teach in my “Email Players” newsletter to come up with fresh, original, bold, and interesting ways to email my lists.

Easy.

“Where do you find the hook?”

Again, it’s easy.

The subject line part ALONE of my “Email Players Playbook” (which comes with your monthly “Email Players” newsletter subscription) can help you bat out dozens of ideas without breaking a sweat.

More:

The January issue includes a bonus DVD of a talk I gave at the home business industry’s biggest summit last June in Vegas.

Lots of ideas for hooks.

Lots of ideas for content.

And, lots of ideas for making sales.

Subscription info here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

A reader asks:

here’s a question from one of the babes in the copywriting forest (stuck to the bottom of your boot):

So I’ve written a few email campaigns. 
A few sales letters. 
Even had a little success…

But I really have no idea how to quote a client who has asked for a VSL that’s the equivalent of 11 pages — 7,500 words.

I suspect I’m cracking the “bigger” leagues here…

But clueless and wondering:

“how would Ben Settle quote this job?”

What the hellz.

I’ll take a whack at it.

Here are my not-so-humble thoughts on it:

You have to take your “copywriter” hat off, and put your “salesman” hat on. It’s ironic how well some copywriters can pitch but suck out loud at selling. They can quote John Caples’ test results chapter by chapter and verse by verse. They can recite Gary Halbert’s newsletters backwards while juggling flaming torches riding a unicycle. They can rattle off dozens of A/B split test results as easily as if they’re ordering a burger at McDonalds.

But when it comes time to SELL?

Crickets.

Humbug, I say.

Anyway, what to quote?

That’s entirely up to you.

What are you worth?

And besides that, if I were you I’d start asking that client some questions. Like, why did they contact you? What happened when they hired other copywriters? What were the results? What’s the big “bottle neck” in their results? What kind of numbers do they need to be profitable, and what happens if they don’t make those numbers?

And so on, and so forth.

Probe.

Dig.

Root around.

Give them a vision.

Then, take that info and sell them.

Only then a pricing jedi will you be.

BTW, this is one reason freelancers should be emailing. Email the right way and clients come to you. Price is rarely an issue. And, many times they are 85% pre-sold on you out the gate.

My best clients were on my list.

Saw me demonstrate my stuff each day.

And, I was (by their own admission) their only choice.

See how that works?

Check out the “Email Players” newsletter here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

I’m a classic rock kinda guy.

And recently I was listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s song “Simple Man” — about a mother giving her only son advice about living a life of satisfaction. And believe it or not, much of the advice applies directly to you — as an entrepreneur.

Like, for example:

“Oh, take your time… Don’t live too fast, Troubles will come and they will pass.”

Trufe.

I used to be in constant “fight or flight” mode.

Especially when starting out.

Every problem was life-or-death.

Yet, most “problems” either solved themselves or were nowhere near as dire as I thought. And even though running on all cylinders 25/8 seemed to make sense at the time, it led to an almost 2 year bout of burnout where I could barely function beyond writing a daily email.

Slow down, my son.

Pace yourself.

This ain’t a sprint.

It’s a marathon…

“You’ll find a woman, yea yea, you’ll find love, And don’t forget son, There is someone up above.”

Faith is important.

And wisdom don’t come cheap.

It was tremendously comforting during some of my dark dorky days living in a cramped office (I couldn’t afford a real place) selling MLM door-to-door that there was “Someone” up above.

(So to speak)…

“Forget your lust, for the rich man’s gold All that you need, is in your soul,”

Swipers and copycats don’t last.

They’re too busy lusting after other peoples’ content and work.

Can’t be bothered to learn to do things themselves.

And, never make the $$ they could.

Be your own person.

Use your own wit, style and personality.

And master the fundamentals (I teach email marketing fundamentals in less than 100 pages in the “Email Players Playbook” — www.EmailPlayers.com — which comes with your “Email Players” subscription).

“Boy, don’t you worry… you’ll find yourself. Follow your heart, Lord, and nothing else.”

It’s counterintuitive.

Especially with everyone telling you what you can and can’t do since your first day in the public school prison system.

But it’s your life.

It’s your business.

And, it’s your future.

You wanna squander it trying to be all things to all people… achieving everyone else’s goals instead of yours… and letting some idiot sabotage you with naysaying?

OK, ’nuff said.

Tomorrow?

Something different…

Ben Settle