Ben Settle

Got this question about getting clients:

“Ben I know you don’t do a lot of client work anymore but I plan to contact people with bad sales copy and offer to rework it for them and show them why I think I can make it better. Is that a good idea???”

Not really.

I’m not saying it never works.

But first, how do you know their sales copy isn’t pulling?

And second, that ain’t selling.

That’s pitching.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but back when I did client work, none of my clients came from pitching. It was always by selling. They were often on my email list, would call me up, we’d get to talking and I’d simply ask something like, “so how are you doing with your emails?”

They’d unload all the dirty details.

How nothing they did was working.

They were getting terrible response.

And do I offer that service…?

(I bet you could take it from there.)

Point is I was selling.

Not pitching.

I asked questions, got them talking about their problems, and let them sell themselves on me, instead of me selling myself to them.

Of course, the emails did most of the heavy lifting.

Emails probably did 80% of the work.

Clients came to me since they were on my list and watched me demonstrate my knowledge each day.

Hey, want clients?

Start writing a daily email.

I mean, think about it:

If you’re the ONLY one showing up regularly in their inbox with information demonstrating your awesomeness, who do you think they’re gonna call?

The lazy guy who mails once per month?

They’d be nutz NOT to call you.

You’d probably be their only pick.

Anyway, for more about writing emails, go to:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Recently, a friend came by the house.

And, one of the first things this person did is, start complaining about their home situation, how they couldn’t stand some house guests that were over, how there was all this drama and misery, etc.

It sounded awful.

And, I’m sure it was.

But I told this person to shut up.

I don’t want to hear about it.

And, if they continued to tell me all about the drama and nonsense going on… I would have to kick them out.

Why?

Because I’m a jerk?

Nope.

It’s because I live a very drama-free existence.

My home is peaceful.

And quiet.

And, well, kinda like the “Narnia” of the The Burgle.

But when someone comes in through the wardrobe door (so to speak) and enters my Narnia… and they start complaining about all the chaos that goes on in their world… it’s no different than tracking dirt into my house.

No.

Wipe yo feet.

Or, get outta here.

No Telmarines allowed.

(If you got what that meant, you’ve been reading waaaaaay too much C.S. Lewis…)

Anyway, the point?

A lot of people treat their lists like this.

Saw it a lot when I used to critique emails.

People droning on about all the chaos and drama and bad stuff going on in their lives. They will tell them about how something sucks. How they are sick and depressed. How they are feeling bad, etc.

And it’s dumb.

At least, from a sales point of view.

Why?

Because when you do that, sure, you’ll get sympathy.

You’ll get attention.

You might even get a hug, little Snowflake.

But, you’ll get no sales.

And it’s like many critically-acclaimed movies (like, for example, the remake of “Of Mice And Men” starring Gary Senise several years ago) that were financial flops because nobody wants to pay $10 to be depressed.

Nobody’s going to pay you to be depressed, either.

You can do that kind a thing if there’s a point.

(Tie it into a lesson, etc.)

But otherwise, knock it off.

Be a bright light in your list’s day.

Not a suicide note.

Do that and you’ll make more sales.

Get better quality subscribers.

And, yes, have more joy.

Go here next:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Let’s talk about anti-professionals today.

“Anti-professional” is a term I first wrote about a couple years ago.

And, it describes a certain kind of businessman who’s like the old school cowboy on his horse going it alone, living by his own code of honor and following his own rules — the dude who doesn’t try to impress the customers (or anyone else, for that matter), but always gets the sale.

Very few Internet marketers, copywriters, etc fit this description.

Oh, many think they do.

And they’ll talk a tough game.

But, they fear losing subscribers.

Put their clients on pedestals.

Blindly copy whatever their favorite gurus do.

And, kiss anyone’s butt they think might buy from them — no matter how badly, rudely, or disrespectfully those would-be customers treat them.

An anti-professional is the exact opposite.

For example:

Take the late actor Steve McQueen.

I was just watching a documentary about him.

That dude was super competitive (my favorite example is the movie “The Magnificent Seven” where he purposely did things to steal the spotlight from the leading star Yul Brynner and divert the viewer’s attention to himself — such as shaking a shotgun round before loading it and wiping his hat rim, etc whenever the camera was on both of them)… tolerated zero crap from anyone (including producers, directors, movie executive)… and was not afraid to fight for what he knew needed to be done to make the best possible show or movie.

A guy in the documentary even said this about Steve:

“He called the directors and producers nuts. He called them crazy. If a script didn’t work he threw it out. The result was a killer series”

Anyway, here’s why I bring this up:

A lot of “Email Players” subscribers are anti-professional types.

And it’s not a big surprise.

Anti-professionals are attracted to ways of selling that don’t require butt smooching. That don’t require pedestalizing clients or customers or leads. That don’t surrender any of their self respect to others, and allows them to market in a way that works for their own personality and business philosophies.

Not every “Email Players” subscriber is an anti-professional.

But, an awful lot are.

And, that’s just fine by me.

Subscription info here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Once upon a time I got asked about clients.

It was from an “Email Players” subscriber.

And, he asked how he could convince his client (who has a list of 100k+) to mail daily using my methodology. He tried edu-ma-cating the client on the benefits… but Mr. Client ignorantly assumes daily is too much and will only hurt him.

My answer?

Probably, he can’t convince him.

In fact, I’d say it’s a lost cause.

Why?

Because if his client isn’t smart enough to test it for at least, say, a few weeks, even if incrementally (start with 3 emails per week, then 5, then 7… and track sales) it’s not worth the time and energy trying to convince him.

Mr. Client is playing not to lose instead of playing to win.

Common for people with big lists and egos.

And, one of the reasons I abhor client work.

(Yes, I know there are good clients out there… I had some great ones… so mostly I’m showing my own biases as far as how I dislike authority of any kind, but whatevs.)

Anyway, if are you a freelancer who wants out?

Who wants to sell your own stuff?

And, who wants to do it fast?

Then check out “Email Players”.

Email liberated me from client work.

And, I reckon it can do the same for you, too.

All you need is:

1. An offer people want
2. A list (even if small, as long as you’re growing it)
3. The will to email aggressively

Of course, you need a backend in place, too.

But, that’s marketing 101, right?

Anyway.

If you want in, go here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

This week’s “Ben Settle Show” podcast episode is all about low class jackass marketers, people, and customers, including:

• How the term “low class jackass” helps the children.

• Just how much of the Internet marketing community is made up of people who display low class jackass tendencies.

• How to repel low class jackass people.

• Why I prefer using double opt in to single opt in lists.

• How to stay off the “radars” of the government alphabet agencies.

• The #1 most low class jackass thing a person can do.

• Why I *like* it when people add me to their dorky little Facebook groups. (It’s complete low class jackass to add someone to your Facebook group without their consent, but I like when people do it, and here’s why.)

• How “moving the free line” keeps copywriters broke.

• And lotza mo’…

Download it here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/itunes

Ben Settle

Lately I’ve been kinda rough on clients.

And you’d almost think I have an axe to grind.

But, I was mostly lucky with clients. With a couple exceptions they were all straight shooters who wanted to make a big profit, ran my ads “as is” and came back for more.

So no axe to grindeth here.

No, I write this stuff on behalf of copywriters.

Someone’s gotta look out for them.

After all, it’s not like they can talk about this stuff publicly.

(For obvious reasons.)

But I hear some real doozie stories of what I call “low class jackass” behavior.

For example:

Recently, I heard about one blue light special client who tried to publicly humiliate his copywriter and designer in a mass email sent to his team. And to make matters worse, the dude bragged about how his “mastermind” group of “the world’s top marketers” (riiiight) all laughed at the ad the copywriter wrote, etc.

Like I said, very low class.

And, very jackass, too.

Hey, that’s unacceptable.

But it ain’t just clients that can do this.

There are all kinds of low class jackass marketers, customers, and people out there, too.

The key is knowing how to identify them.

And, thus, avoid them.

Enter tomorrow’s “Ben Settle Show” podcast.

It’s all about low class jackass marketers.

And, why it’s such an epidemic online, especially.

Watch for my email tomorrow, Batman.

And in the meantime, check out past episodes here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/itunes

Ben Settle

One of the things I like doing with my novels (and, even, certain info products) is put a quote under each chapter heading.

But, not just any quote.

A quote that sets the “mood” for the chapter.

The quote doesn’t reveal the content of the chapter, just the overall theme, and often there is some kind of (unrelated) connection to the story. (I do this in emails sometimes, too, but that’s a tale for another time, my little droogling.)

Anyway, I asked my publisher about this once.

(When we were publishing “Zombie Cop”)

I asked:

“What did you think of the quotes I picked for the chapters? I put a lot of thought into them, I just am curious if you picked up on them all or not.”

His answer:

“Your quotes do E-X-A-C-T-L-Y what you wanted them to do: Your audience – guys like you and me – will understand and appreciate 75% or more of almost every hidden reference, the quotes, and the other little treasures you scattered throughout the book like some of the street names, etc. I bet there’s a bunch I missed and I THINK I caught most of them. THAT IS GOOD, you want lots of things that a small percent will “get.” It makes the book most special to the very audience you want to like it.”

I have to agree with him.

And so, I have an idea for the sequel “Vampire Apocalypse”.

(I’m about a month away from finishing it.)

I already revealed the chapter titles a while back.

But, now I’m gonna reveal the chapter quotes.

Here goes:

Chapter 1: The Player
“Wow, these fellas really let themselves go”
– Tallahassee
“Zombieland”

Chapter 2: Fezziwig
“I’d give four million just to be able to take a piss without it hurting”
– Hyman Roth
“The Godfather 2”

Chapter 3: Monster Massacre
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil, because I am the meanest son-of-a-bitch in the valley.”
– Author Unknown
(Popularly attributed to General Patton)

Chapter 4: Plains, Pains, And Bat-mobiles
“Fly those friendly skies”
– Carl Taylor
“Men At Work”

Chapter 5: The Prodigal Returns
“So you’ve come to die with your city”
– Bane
“The Dark Knight Rises”

Chapter 6: The Life And Death Of Rory Rood
“You made me. Remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn’t easy to get over, and don’t think that I didn’t try.”
– The Joker
“Batman”

Chapter 7: Hide And Stink
“Clowns to the left of me. Jokers to the right. Here I am stuck in the middle with you.”
– Stealers Wheel
“Stuck In The Middle With You”

Chapter 8: Saved By The Enemy
“If Hitler invaded hell, I would at least make positive reference to the devil in the House of Commons.”
– Winston Churchhill

Chapter 9: Odd Bedfellows
“I want to help you help me help ourselves”
– Crowley
“Supernatural”

Chapter 10: Skipper Of Skin
“It’s a swell ship for the skipper, but a hell ship for the crew”
– Author Unknown

Chapter 11: Vampire Apocalypse
“The water is poisoned!”
– Doctor Thomas Stockmann
“Enemy Of The People”

Chapter 12: King Of Egypt
“I made the nations to shake at the sound of his fall, when I cast him down to hell with them that descend into the pit”
– Ezekiel 31:16

Chapter 13: Down The Hatch
“…God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to chains of gloomy darkness to be kept until the judgment”
– 2 Peter 2:4

Chapter 14: Back In The Game
“I may be bad, but I feel…good“
– Sheila
“Army Of Darkness”

There you go.

These are still subject to change, of course.

I have about 4 more weeks to go.

Then, it’s off to ye olde editor.

In the meantime…

Get up to speed on the story by checking out “Zombie Cop” here:

www.ZombieCopBook.com

You can even read first couple chapters free.

See ya…

Ben Settle

Lest you think I only show the good stuff…

Finally got our first 1-star “Zombie Cop” review.

(Out of 35 reviews total so far.)

Behold:

“The book had an interesting premise but would have really benefited from an editor. I fought with finishing this book but continued to give it a chance to improve. Sad to say it didn’t. The story at times would contradict itself and was really repetitive. The ending was also extremely flat. The writer was extremely vulgar without reason other than an attempt to be shocking. This failed horribly as it made the writing seem like it was written by someone compensating for their inadequacies as a man. Maybe next time the writer should sell his story to a more experienced writer. I love horror and supernatural books but this one was a bust.”

Almost sounds like they got an axe to grind.

Sheesh.

Whatever the case…

I disagree with the repetitive and contradictory critique — although someone is more than welcome to show me examples of either. (One person tried a few months ago, and admitted he simply didn’t read the ending very carefully. It happens.)

But, I also found it useful, too.

How?

Because it reminded me to give this warning:

“Zombie Cop” ain’t for prudes.

It has quite a bit of profanity (not for some mythical “shock” value — it’s just a depraved zombie story about a depraved town with depraved evil beings doing deranged depraved things — they don’t exactly say things like “the F-word” or “fudge” instead of the word “fuck”). Lots of violent deaths. And, features despicable characters who do truly vile things to each other.

In other words…

It ain’t the Mickey Mouse Club.

(It’s more like Washington D.C….)

Anyway, first chapter is free here:

www.ZombieCopBook.com

Ben Settle

P.S. I’m guts deep into writing the sequel called:

“Vampire Apocalypse”

It should be ready by mid to late November (possibly into December) depending on when the cover design is done. I am hiring the same guy who did the “Zombie Cop” cover — Kirk DouPonce, arguably the best book cover designer on the planet.

And, well, you can’t rush genius…

I’m fang deep into the jugular of the second draft of the “Zombie Cop” sequel called “Vampire Apocalypse.”

So far, it’s been a blast writing it.

My goal though, is for it to be a blast for you to read it.

Should be ready around Christmas.

In the meantime…

If you haven’t read “Zombie Cop” yet, and if you’re not scared of a little twisted monster fiction… here’s what others are saying about it:

“a fun, entertaining, engaging, and compelling read that draws you in and keeps you turning pages”
– Bob Bly
(Bestselling author of over 80 books)

“Reading [this] book and designing the cover were a lot more fun than most of my work!”
– Kirk Douponce
(Book cover designer for all the world’s biggest book publishers, such as Simon and Schuster, McGraw Hill, Harper Collins/Zondervan and Thomas Nelson

“To keep up with Zombie Cop, book writers and Hollywood are going to have to step-up their game. The bar’s just been raised”
– Greg Perry
(World’s “most published” author of computer books)

“Most satisfying book I’ve read in months…Bought it on Thursday and was done by Friday night”
– Yoav Ezer

“Chapter ten really effed with my head so ladies beware. I almost stopped reading the book here. I continued, though, and I am glad that I did”
– Jodi Ardito

“If you’re into ruminations about the secrets and mysteries of ancient times, Sacred texts, and the never-ending saga of supernatural battles of good and evil — again — you. will. love. it.”
– Caleb Osborne

“I couldn’t stop reading”
– Dan Gallapoo

“Read the opening chapters of the book and Kindled it without a second thought”
– Carole Raschella

“constantly wondering what was going to happen next. It was hard to put the book down towards the final few chapters”
– Scott Dudley

“the grossest, most depraved gore-fest imaginable”
– Aaron McManus

“The subject matter isn’t even close to GOT, however the urge you get to devour the material with one squinting eye closed, the other covered, not daring to look away, is the same.”
– Anonymous Amazon reviewer

“A definite page turner…I love the descriptions, the vividness, the colors and the gore”
– Nicole Jolie

“Sick. Deranged. And, once you read the first chapter, you’re in it till the end. Eagerly awaiting the sequel.”
– Mike Monroe

“loved the twist and turns…One of the most surprising and interesting Zombie stories I have read in months”
– Divacreations (Amazon reviewer)

“extremely engaging and makes you not want to put it down”
– Eric McMillan

“eating up the words, hungry for more”
– Gary Stilphen

“I read it in a day and a half…Most of the time with books like this, I can figure out what is going to happen before I read it. That didn’t happen with this book”
– Kristi Cook

“There’s no need to watch twenty hours of The Walking Dead to get your zombie fix. In this book, you get more action, more suspense, and more story — in a fraction of the time it would take you to watch anything else”
– Raymond (Amazon reviewer)

“you’ll appreciate Ben’s deviation from the standard zombie lore. His twist is novel, plausible and terrifying”
– Taheerah Barney

“a FUN read and a REFRESHING twist on the zombie horror genre”
– Shanika Journey

“Every zombie enthusiast both young and old should read this book. It even puts a fresh spin on the zombie lore. It’s not the same old same old zombie tale”
– Anonymous Amazon reviewer

“this is the first time in awhile I couldn’t put a book down. Finished it in the first couple days, the way it’s written pulls you through the story like a tractor beam”
– Ian Stanley

“It’ll have you laughing, cheering on the little kid, and even vicariously eating some poor bastards as a zombie”
– Devin McMahan

“there is so much action and things happening, that you literally have to LIVE and BREATH this book”
– Ivan Carney

“The book is going to take you to places you probably wish you’d never gone”
– Anonymous Amazon reviewer

“Ben is one sick puppy. I’ll be sure to pray for his deranged soul”
– Anonymous Amazon reviewer

“the characters, though demented, almost had this dry sense of humor in their thoughts. I was getting a kick out of their own self talk. Plenty of fight scenes… plenty of gore”
– J.E. Clair

“loved its raw crudeness and gory details”
– Jean Ortiz

“Only Stephen King can keep me on the edge of my seat as much as this novel did, and frankly, I think I prefer Ben’s writing style to the King’s”
– Matthew Meakins

“witty and captivating, and hilariously crude”
– K. Handelman

This book will either:vMake you cringe from the gory scenes. Tense at the action scenes.
Or laugh your ass off at the humor both subtle and direct”
– “Don” Amazon reviewer

“Surprisingly a lot of depth to this book — layers upon layers of bad guys, layers of story lines, and of course, a sense that there’s another book to come”
– Stephen Dean

“an excellent ending that couldn’t have been written any better”
– “Tony” Amazon reviewer

“Great concept, easy to read in one sitting”
– Will Roffe

“Totally gruesome, twisted stuff. LOVING IT TO PIECES.”
– Jim Yaghi

What about you, amigo?

Will the next review be yours?

Can I tempt you into reading the first chapter (and part of the 2nd chapter) free via Amazon?

Then get yo’ zombie lovin’ here:

www.ZombieCopBook.com

Bon appetit…

Ben Settle