Ben Settle

OK, so yesterday I left you on a goo-roo “cliffhanger.”

Remember that?

How I was getting bored of showing all the stuff they do that the average marketer should avoid… and wanted to talk about something they do that IS worth studying to make more scratchola?

Well, here goes…

Once upon a time, I had to study Winnie The Pooh and its effect on culture. Yes, it was kind of strange for a college level class. But kind of entertaining, too.

Anyway, I especially remember Tigger’s analysis.

And how the author purposely made it so he seemed “bigger” than he was to the other animals. In fact, the writer had Pooh say (about Tigger): “He always seems bigger because of his bounces” — meaning Pooh and everyone else see Tigger as being bigger/taller than he actually is due to all his obnoxious bouncing around.

Well, guess what?

In a lot of ways, that’s exactly what goo-roos do, too.

And it’s SMART.

In fact, there is a lot of power in being perceived as the top dawg (or a top dawg) of your niche.

The “go to” person.

The one positioned at the TOP of the mountain.

The (dare I say it?) guru.

Like ’em or hate ’em, they all do this brilliantly.

Sometimes they legitimately ARE the best there is.

Many times… not so much.

But it’s undeniable that being at the top of the “food chain” makes people psychologically more likely to want to do business with you (and nobody else) — regardless of price or conditions.

So that’s one goo-roo gig worth serious study.

To see how they “bounce” in a way that puts them above their competitors and look “larger” to their market.

Hey, it’s what goo-roos do best.

Ben Settle

P.S. There is one VERY easy way to “bounce” like this that Ken McCarthy (an absolute master at positioning) once taught me. Something anyone can do to position yourself as a trusted expert and, in fact, is probably EASIER to do when starting out than if you’re already established.

Details on page 36 of “Crackerjack Selling Secrets”:

Whoa!

Everyone seems to be enjoying these goo-roo emails.

Let’s throw another log on the fire, shall we?

Here are some common goo-roo sales letter mistakes that have spread like a disease into the general marketing population. Mistakes that, in some cases, are hurting the “good guys” (and gals) who observe all this stuff and then are tempted to assume it’s what always works:

• Thinking you MUST have a pre-headline (the little headline above the headline) in every ad, with or without strategy, and with no exceptions. (One client a while back even insisted I put one in just because “everyone else has one”)

• Exclamation marks after every single claim

• Doing lots of bragging (a “red flag” the product has no substance)

• Testing small changes (like headline font and color)… instead of BIG changes (like an entirely new angle, page design or offer)

Look, I won’t say this stuff never works.

Or that it is “always” wrong.

The danger is in ASSuming these things work just because the goo-roo fanboys are doing it and/or teach it (without regard to testing or knowing YOUR specific product/market peculiarities).

You know… I just thought of something.

Methinks it’s time to change things up.

Instead of the goo-roo fanboy stuff to avoid… let’s talk about something they do we can actually PROFIT from. In fact, there’s one thing they ALL do that most any marketer can use to quickly make more profits… is perfectly legal and ethical… and that doesn’t require selling your relationship with your list to the devil.

I’ll explaineth tomorrow.

Stay tuned…

Ben “just making friends & influencing people” Settle

P.S. To see how some of the world’s best (and highest paid) copywriters write their sales letters and ads (HINT: they rarely do any of the goo-roo fanboy wannabe stuff above), hop on over to:

I should have known.

Yesterday’s email about the lame goo-roo tricks prompted some more from my eagle-eyed subscribers that I’d now like to share with everyone.

Check ’em out:

• Not unsubscribing people from lists when they try to leave.

• Saying (in every. single. offer) “But wait — there’s more!”

• Over use of the word “buddy” or the prospect’s name in emails.

Hey, I just thought of something.

Maybe I should opt-in to all the goo-roos lists?

What better way to find out what NOT to do than by watching these yahoos systematically use the same, tired old phrases, tricks and schemes?

On second thought… maybe not.

After all, I may not be able to unsubscribe later.

Dang.

Anyway, to see how the “for real” sales and marketing masters get the job done (without tricks or scheming), zip on over to:

Ben Settle

P.S. Hat tip to Jason, Andrea, Marya and Paul for sending the above examples in, very amusing stuff.

To goo-roo or not to goo-roo?

That is the question.

Personally, I’d suggest NOT goo-roo’ing — especially if it means using their lame-o “killer” tricks. In fact, below are a few you may want to ESPECIALLY avoid if you want to be taken seriously by anyone but the most rabid, “frothing-at-the-mouth” prospects (i.e. the ones who’d jump off a bridge if their favorite goo-roo said they tested it and it works).

Here goes…

• Using “I just got off the phone with” in an affiliate offer when you didn’t get off the phone with anyone

• Selling traffic related courses with JV’s being your sole source of traffic (hat tip to Terry Dean for bringing up this one on Twitter a couple weeks ago)

• Asking people to JV with you with a lame form email that’s obviously not personal (I guess in goo-roo land you can just cut and paste your way to success?)

• Sending people to blog posts and forums to talk up what a swell chap you are (the ultimate epitome of lameness)

Holy shnikes — I could go on and on with this.

These are just a FEW that people have told me about lately. It’s a good thing I’m not actually on any goo-roo lists, otherwise methinks this would be a VERY long email!

Anyway, I’m not one to tell people what to do.

If the goo-roo shoe fits, by all means wear it.

But people who do this stuff “because the goo-roos do” are kinda like the wannabe bad-boys in high school who wore sunglasses at night to parties.

Amusing… but lame.

And, eventually, easily ignored.

Ben Settle

P.S. There’s really no reason to dabble with the dorky goo-roo fanboy tricks. Especially when it’s so much easier (and so much more effective) to sell using the simple persuasion secrets used by history’s most successful salesmen, marketers, negotiators and (gasp!) politicians over yonder at:

Finally saw the movie “Zombieland” Friday.

Awesome movie — one of my all time favorites.

It’s about how almost everyone in the world has turned into vicious, man-eating zombies. And one of the plot gimmicks is a series of rules one of the survivors follows to avoid becoming “zombie chow.”

And guess what?

It’s uncanny how many zombieland “rules” apply to marketing.

For example…

1. Cardio

People who’re out of shape are caught and eaten first in zombieland (I guess they’re “low hanging fruit”). That’s how it is in marketing zombieland as well — people in good shape have more energy and “mental toughness.” Both VERY useful in business.

2. Beware Of Bathrooms

Those sneaky zombies cleverly attack people when most vulnerable (i.e. when on the “can”). You gotta beware of bathrooms in marketing zombieland, too. If there’s no marketing/business related book or magazine to read while in the john, you’ll miss out on a prime opportoonity to get your learn on.

3. Know Your Way Out

To avoid being eaten in zombieland, you always need a backup escape plan from any room. And so it is in marketing zombieland. Like it says in “The 7 Habits Of Highly Successful People” — begin every venture with the end in mind.

4. Limber Up

Being “loose” and ready in zombieland is mandatory for survival. And it’s equally important in marketing zombieland. Mucho profits are made from being flexible enough to test bold ideas, break “rules” and ignore the crowd.

5. Check The Backseat

Vicious zombies love hiding out in your car’s back seat in zombieland. We got some of that in business, too (yes, corporate espionage IS real). Always double check who has access to your passwords and customer list.

6. Enjoy The Little Things

Staying sane in zombieland means savoring the “little things” (like twinkies, for example). And so it is in marketing zombieland. Sally forth and regularly have some fun. Otherwise you’ll turn into a burnout “zombie” yourself and make everyone around you miserable.

And finally… a rule not in the movie (but should be)…

7. Never Eat Meat While Watching Zombieland

Trust me (from personal experience), it’ll GROSS you out.

(Try eating a twinkie instead.)

Awright, that’s a wrap for today.

For 101 more ways to survive marketing zombieland, check out:

Ben Settle

Here’s an interesting question that rolled in:

“Ben, I understand the basics of writing sales letters and ads, but what can I do to KEEP my sales letters running strong and squeeze all the profit I can from them?”

That’s an interesting question.

How DO you increase a sales letter’s “shelf life”?

Luckily, there are lots of ways to skin this cat. Here are a few really easy changes that can often do the trick:

1. Headline

Yeah, I know, “duh.”

But it’s worth repeating even if we’ve all heard it a million times from the copywriting goo-roos.

2. Offer

Another “uh-duh!”

But again… a simple offer (or just a guarantee) change can have mucho impact on sales. Often times even more than changing your headline! (If you don’t believe me try a triple-your-money-back guarantee sometime).

3. Story

Another biggie.

It’s easier said than done, but if your ad starts fatiguing or even outright dying… test telling another story. (You ARE telling stories in your ads, right?)

The story can sometimes carry the sale all by it’s lonesome.

4. Design

This is especially true on ye old Internet.

If you want to do a radical test without changing a word of copy, try a completely different “look” on your site. I’m talking different fonts, background colors, font sizes, order buttons/links, images, videos… the whole shmear.

You might be shocked at the change in response.

5. Market

A true story:

Once upon a time I wrote an ad selling an info product showing people how to buy existing businesses without banks or using your own money. And while there’s an obvious “biz opp” angle there, we noticed something else interesting:

A lot of real estate investors were buying it.

So I simply changed the angle to talk “to” them and their desires, goals, pains, etc (instead of the biz opp crowd’s) and…

Voila!

A whole new market was born for the product.

Anyway, those are a few ways to revive dead (or dying) ads.

Go ye forth and profit from them.

Ben Settle

P.S. For 122+ MORE sales letters tips (used by some of the world’s highest paid copywriters), check out:

Over the past year I’ve had my blog comments closed.

This baffles a lot of people.

After all, aren’t we in the age of Web 2.0 and social media where interaction and being “social” is the new business panacea? Where web visitors now expect (and in some ways demand) you have a blog so they can socialize and interact with you?

Maybe.

And I probably AM missing out on sales, profits and other long term benefits by turning comments off.

But in this case it’s all about balance.

Specifically, balancing out my time.

Most of my income is from freelance copywriting assignments and a couple other ventures I’ve got my fingers in.

My site is just a small “cog” in the machine.

And unfortunately, there were just too many jackanapes trying to goose in comments sucking up my time.

Some tried plugging their crap on my site.

And others simply had a bad case of “diarrhea of the keyboard” — where they’d start ranting, cussing, tearing down other commenters, etc. One blue flame special — who I call the “seething email” guy — would try posting multi page political rants that made no sense whatsoever (in giant block paragraphs that were impossible to read without going blind), and then whine about how I was “censoring” him because the spam filter zapped his (obviously inappropriate) comments.

Dumb.

Anyhoo, if I had more time, I’d still entertain this stuff.

Because in a lot of ways it IS entertaining.

But the whole moderating thing is just too time consuming.

But, who knows?

Mayhaps one day I’ll fire the comments section back up. In the meantime, if you want to comment on a blog post/email, all you have to do is go to my FaceBook page:

All posts automatically show there by day’s end.

And it’s easy to comment on them if you want.

See?

I’m not a total social media “luddite” after all…

Ben Settle

Let’s do something fun today.

After writing a couple emails about marketing and movies last month a few people have asked about making a list of movies that might be helpful for their marketing, selling, copywriting, etc.

Below are a few I’ve found helpful.

In fact, in many cases, these flicks have been more practical and helpful than some of the books and high falutin’ marketing courses I’ve bought.

Ready?

OK, let’s roll…

1. Boiler Room

This isn’t so much a “how to” movie, but a “how NOT to do” movie.

I don’t waste my time getting on goo-roo lists, but from what people I know are telling me, this is exactly the kind of high pressure nonsense some of these goo-roos are using to upsell people by phone into big ticket coaching programs.

Still… there is ONE good lesson in it.

And that is, when one of the salesmen is doing his thing, he asks a question (I think for the sale) and then… shuts up.

That was pretty cool.

And good advice when selling in person or phone.

2. The Matrix

I think we covered this movie pretty well here:

3. Sherlock Holmes

Ditto with Sherlock Holmes — you can skim my “review” at:

4. Lethal Weapon

Ah yes… now we’re cookin’.

Once upon a time, marketing and copywriting “legend” Eugene Schwartz said Lethal Weapon was “mandatory” for direct marketers.

Why?

Well, the short version is, there’s a certain “rhythm” to it you will see in a lot of great sales pitches, Check out chapter 3 in “The Copywriting Grab Bag” — www.CopywritingGrabBag.com — for a more detailed analysis on this particular movie.

5. Batman Begins

IMHO, the “sales rhythm” in Batman Begins is even better than the one in Lethal Weapon. In fact, I use it as sort of sales letter “template” when writing my ads these days.

Anyway, there are more than this.

But these 5 movies are like little “mini marketing seminars” if you pay attention to them.

And (especially) if you watch how people react to them.

Ben Settle

Recently, my friend Jim Yaghi Tweeted an unusual question:

@JimYaghi: “watching Being Human. Wonder why VAMPIRES and WEREWOLVES hate each other so much? @BenSettle how about a daily email answering this?

OK Jim, sounds like fun 😉

Vampires and werewolves ain’t my area of expertise.

But my guess is probably for the same reasons shady Internet marketing goo-roos and corrupt government bureaucrats hate each other:

They take food off each other’s tables.

You see, whether you’re talking about werewolves and vampires or shady goo-roos and corrupt bureaucrats, they both have the same agenda to feast on as many defenseless “peasants” (i.e. earners and consumers) as they can. And unfortunately, when they battle it out, some of the peasants always get hurt (i.e. the recent Visa/Mastercard smack down).

Sadly, that’s just the way it is.

But here’s the truly scary part about this:

The human (goo-roo/bureaucrat) “monsters” are far worse than the Hollywood werewolves and vampires.

Why?

Because they pretty much have no limitations.

In most of the movies, werewolves can only pop up during full moons and can be slain by silver bullets, while the vampires can only show their ugly mugs at night and can be scragged by a sharp stake in their sleep.

Not so with the government and goo-roos.

The government can go after anyone they want, with an unlimited “war chest” of tax payer money. And even when they’re wrong and sue innocent people (which happens a LOT), they get away with it and move on to their next victim. At the same time, a shady goo-roo can easily change shape and “slip” away into the night to another village and start his rampage anew with a simple business, country or identity change.

Spooky stuff for sure.

And hey, let’s face it:

Whoever said “monsters” don’t exist has never run a business!

Ben Settle

P.S. For 101 ways to ethically sell your products and services (and hopefully stay off the bureaucrats’ “goo-roo radars”), grab your stake and silver bullets and run over to: