The Dorking

I recently finished reading a book called:

“Bare Bones: Conversations On Terror With Stephen King”

It’s a book of interviews he did.

And, there’s lots of gold in there for email marketers.

For example:

The story of his smash hit book “The Shining”. Originally, the title was “The Shine”. But, some executive said they can’t use that title because there is a black cook in the book, and he feared people would think the title was referring to him. (i.e. “shine” was a term from WW2 some people used to call black people). Kind of a dorky choice, actually — considering anyone with an IQ over 80 would know it wasn’t talking about the cook, but the power the boy and the cook both shared.

Anyway, here’s the point:

They tacked an “ing” at the end.

So it became “The Shining” instead of “The Shine”.

Then, guess what happened?

A whole slew of horror books by wannabe Stephen Kings exploded on the scene. “The Piercing”, “The Burning, “The Searing” — the this-ing and the that-ing.

Of course, the wannabes all faded into obscurity.

Never being relevant.

Never being remembered.

Except, of course, for being hacks and knock-offs.

This happens Internet marketing land, too.

For example:

Lots of people have a product title that’s a “Blueprint”.

Or a “Manifesto”.

Or is preceded by “No BS…”

Or is a “Cheat Sheet”.

(I even had one of them years ago…)

My favorite was a few years ago when several “Brute Force” titles shot onto the scene at the same time.

Nary an original thought.

Nary a shred of uniqueness.

Nary an ounce of creativity.

The original title is watered down & the rip offs look like hacks.

Listen, babycakes:

Marketers are supposed to be IDEA people. Yet, most are hacks and jackanapes who wouldn’t know an original thought if it bit them in the prostate gland — instead buying into the idiotic notion you should just “swipe & steal.”

Dorky.

Especially with emails.

Anyway, the point?

It doesn’t take much to stand out.

You just gotta do something unique.

Use your own personality, experiences, and ideas.

And, not be a copycat.

That’s it.

That ALONE can give you a huge advantage.

So many emails are just a copy of a copy of a copy of someone else’s idea, hook or copy that simply writing in YOUR own voice, with YOUR own ideas and giving YOUR own opinion makes you stick out like a wet fart.

This is where “Email Players” comes in.

Obviously, it’s not intended for everyone.

(Like copycats and swipers.)

The newsletter (and the book that comes with your subscription) shows you how to be original. How to be unique. And, how to write emails people like reading and buying from.

That’s why my boys & girls kick so much bootay.

And, why the jackanapes are always copying us.

Which do you want to be?

An original who makes the lions share of sales?

Or, the hack who gets our scraps?

Go ye here to subscribe:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Today’s “Ben Settle Show” podcast shares the mic with Kevin Rogers — stand up comic, copy chief, and founder of one of the most helpful resources for copywriters (and clients) on ye olde Internet.

We rap about:

  • Real world copywriting lessons Kevin learned while doing stand up comedy.
  • Why being “funny” isn’t enough to get chicks wanting you. (And will most likely land your azz smack dab in the friend zone.)
  • Johnny Carson’s secret for using his introversion to become the most recognized celebrity on the face of the planet in the 70’s and 80’s. (It’s also used by world class copywriters like John Carlton and other introverts in the marketing business today.)
  • A “fool proof” way to know if you’re an introvert or an extrovert.
  • A big mistake freelance copywriters with unique, off-the-wall experiences and backgrounds make when getting clients.
  • The stand up comic’s 5-second secret to winning the attention of drunk, hostile comedy club crowds with folded arms itching to torment comedians. (Can be directly applied to getting attention in your ads, too.)
  • A new website that is perfect both for copywriters looking to find great clients (and get tips from seasoned pros on how to make their ads better), and great clients looking for copywriters.
  • The real reason why clients are scared to hire copywriters. (I must admit, I never considered this before, but it’s 100% spot on and something every freelancer should be aware of.)
  • And lotza more…

Get yo laugh & learn on here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/antipreneur

Ben Settle

The Bill Burr Of Email?

A little while back the Irishman who does all my web design (I trusteth no other person to do it) Keith Commins said…

He’s the Bill Burr of Email

When I first stumbled on to Ben’s list my first reaction was to liken him to the comic Bill Burr.

Like Burr he delivers outrageously irreverent material coupled with scathing social commentary that’s right on the money every time.

Love or hate him, you won’t ignore him.

And ultimately his message is delivered with such a wallop of whoop-ass’ing truth you can’t help but buy what he’s selling.

I might be a “skoshe” biased, but…

I agree.

Actually, I have never heard Bill Burr, but I think I like the bloke already… and, going by the reviews we have on iTunes, I think my Ben Settle Show podcast listeners would say the above testimonial was an even more apt description of the podcast than my emails.

Speaking of the show:

(And of comedians)

Tomorrow’s Ben Settle Show has a little surprise guest:

Stand up comic-turned-copy-chief Kevin Rogers.

It was a blast doing this one.

And, methinks you’ll like it.

I’ll shoot you an email when it’s up.

Tonight your assignment is to listen to past episodes here:

 www.BenSettleShow.com/antipreneur

Ben Settle

It Pays To Be Paranoid

So next week I’m attending a mastermind in Austin, TX.

It’s going to be with a group of blokes most of who I’ve never met in anyway, shape, or form (I believe out of the 15 of us, I will know 3 people). And, when the guy putting it together sent us all a sheet with everyone’s bios, one of the guys replied saying (I’m paraphrasing) “Ben, I get all your emails, I don’t read them all, but I save them no matter what.”

The point?

Yet another reason to sell *every* day.

You cannot assume everyone is reading every email.

(No matter how “awesome” they think you are.)

In fact, I think (and I’m right) you should be paranoid about this and assume the email you are about to send out *could* be the ONLY opportunity people get to see your link and will never read another email from you, and this is your only shot. (Which, due to spam filters, ISP black lists, the busy-ness of life, low attention spans, etc could very well be the case with a big chunk of people on your list who really want to buy what you have, really NEED what you have, but simply don’t know it exists if you are not plugging a link to your product every day.)

Would you screw around trying to “incubate” people?

Trying to prove what a “nice guy” you are by not pitching?

Or, would you go for the jugular?

Let them know your product at least exists?

(Even if you timidly hide it in the PS)?

I rest my case, Counselor.

So don’t be shy about selling.

Plug your product.

Your bank account and list (the buyers, at least) will thank you.

And the do-nothings?

The ones who won’t buy anyway?

They’ll opt out.

Win-win.

Finally:

For the “how to’s” of writing emails check out the “Email Players” newsletter. Your subscription comes with a book that shows you the foundation of my wicked ways, and then the newsletter shows you how to build upon the foundation for the rest of your life to blow your timid competition out of the water.

Subscription info here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Let’s rap about subject lines.

Since it’s the second most important part of an email, I’ll sally forth with an analogy from one of my all time favorite TV shows — “Burn Notice” — to make it crystal clear. “Burn Notice”, by the way, is about a spy who is “burned” (i.e. blackballed) by the CIA and who goes around helping people in trouble with the mob, or who have been robbed, or need protection, etc, while trying to figure out who burned him and why.

It’s kinda like a cross between McGyver and The A-Team.

Anyway, back to subject lines…

In the pilot episode Michael Westen (the spy who was burned) wants to get the attention of someone he knows at the FBI, to get info about who burned him.

So, what does he do?

Sends the guy a pipe bomb, course.

(Well, a fake pipe bomb…)

Now THAT is getting attention.

But, not just any ol’ attention.

That’s *undivided* attention.

Just like, you know, great email subject lines get.

And if you want to learn a very simple and easy (very little thought has to go into it) way to write a “pipe bomb” subject line… one that is very hard for people to ignore (and resist wanting to open the email — even if competing with 100 other emails in their inbox) check ye out the May “Email Players” issue.

Frankly, this one works so well you gotta be careful with it.

Otherwise, it can work against you.

And, land you in trouble.

(Just like sending a fake pipe bomb to the FBI would.)

Subscribe in time here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

I recently did some “informal” market research.

By that I mean, I have been asking men and women a question, and noting the reply to further show the differences in the way men and women think, ponder, and, yes decide to buy stuff.

And that question is:

“Would you rather be bored or depressed?”

Every guy I’ve asked this to has said:

“Bored!”

Why?

Because most dudes (unless they’ve got some kind of chemical imbalance going on, etc) just can’t be bothered with depression.

For one, it accomplishes nothing.

It also holds us back from our objectives.

And, well, why so serious?

(Besides, how are you supposed to conquer the world if you’re too depressed to get out of bed…)

But, what about women?

It’s the opposite.

In fact, yesterday I asked this to my ex-copywriting apprentice, and she (predictably) answered…

“I admit it… depressed.”

Just as every other chick I’ve asked did.

And yes to the naysayers:

I realize if I asked enough other people, I’d have run into a few guys who would prefer wallowing in withering depression and a few chicks who prefer going mad from mind-numbing boredom, let’s keep some context here…

The point?

Don’t let the media lemmings fool ya:

There are stark differences between men and women. Women, as much as some may act like it are not men. And men, as much as many of them act like it, are not women. Two totally different biologies, secreting totally different amounts of different chemicals, with totally different objectives.

(Like wanting more freedom vs more security, for example.)

Argue this all you want, my little Droogie.

Deny it all you want, if you wish.

But, as a marketer, knowing the difference between the way men and women make buying decisions can put a lot of extra rupees in your chubby little piggy bank. On the other hand… not knowing (or foolishly denying) the differences (and how to exploit those differences in your emails and ads) is robbing yourself of sales.

Maybe even LOTS of sales.

Which brings us to….

(drum roll…)

The May “Email Players” issue.

Inside its not-so-hallowed pages contains a valuable lesson on how to sell to women (if you’re a guy and don’t think like a chick) and how to sell to men (if you’re a chick and don’t think like a guy).

Very important information.

Information that can enrich and enlighten you.

But, she goes to the printer soon.

So hop to it if you want in in time here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Last week got some cool props on Facebook.

It was from one Caliban Darklock.

And, he posted an image of his inbox, of the emails he sees upon rising each day, with all the other names blurred out except mine, implying that he just looks at the name and knows he wants to read it — regardless of the subject line.

He then elaborated:

“And here’s the fun part: I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a single email from Ben Settle where he ISN’T selling something. He emails every day and sells me something every day and I still open his emails every day. And not ONCE have I ever screwed up my face and said “he just wants to sell me something.”

A very important lesson is contained in this.

Did you catch it?

No?

Then, I will burp it out:

When you do email right (and, let’s face it, hardly anyone does — mostly emails are deleted on sight unless the writer gets lucky with a subject line that touches a nerve), you will find:

1. Your subject line is almost irrelevant for many readers

(As far as them opening it)

2. Few people delete your emails

3. You can pitch, and pitch every. single. time… and nobody weeps and gnashes their teeth over it. In fact, people look forward to it, enjoy reading it, and, if they are ready, will buy from it — cheerfully, and anxiously.

In fact, another comment Lindsay Shearer commented:

(in the same thread)

“I don’t even see the headlines half the time I just see Ben’s name and think to myself what are we getting ourselves into today . Epic”

That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

Now, before a marketing fanboy bursts an artery over this:

I’m not saying subject lines aren’t important.

They are.

Not just for newer subscribers who haven’t been sufficiently indoctrinated into your wicked ways… but for people who love your emails but are so busy they are tempted to save them to another folder “for later” (which may or may not happen in the hustle and bustle of the day). And for them, you want the subject line to get them so curious they can’t put it aside, even if they desperately need to.

What can I say?

I take pride in ruining people’s productivity…

So obviously you want to have irresistible subject lines, too.

Aaaaaand that brings us to the pitch:

Enter the May “Email Players” issue.

I included 2 (count ’em… 2) powerful subject line resources.

One of them is a subject line “template” of sorts that, if you use it (and it admittedly takes balls, if you’re scared of your list, you won’t do it) it is almost guaranteed to get your email opened by anyone on your list who still has a pulse.

And the other?

That’s a tail for a future email.

(But it’s a doozy, based on click bait.)

Anyway, she goes to print in a couple weeks.

Subscription info here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

In which the question is asked…

“What do you reckon of ‘canned’ email auto-responder series that can be bought and used for follow up?”

I’m indifferent.

If you use them and they work, great!

But at the same time, if other people in your market are using the exact same emails (or variations of them) then I would not expect miracles unless you’ve got an air tight relationship with your list.

That’s the bad news.

The good news?

You don’t need to be a mega jeenius to write your own emails.

Think of it like this:

Imagine you and your friend are in the woods. And out of nowhere Bigfoot comes barreling out of the bushes, frothing at the mouth, blood in his eye.

Ol’ hoss is a hungry mo’ fo’.

And YOU two donkeys are on the menu.

Well, guess what?

You don’t have to outrun bigfoot to survive.

You ONLY need to outrun your friend.

And so it is in emails.

By learning my Email Players system, you may or may not ever have “the best” emails, but you will almost certainly stand out (run faster) from your competition than by using canned emails.

So that’s my take.

Go ahead and use canned emails.

See if they work.

But learn to write your own, too.

At least, if you want to make the big bux.

Go here to learn my system:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

In today’s not-so-creepy “Ben Settle Show” podcast we rap about Dan Kennedy’s “Time Vampires”… and identify several types that are skimming the shadows looking to suck you dry of every drop of time you possess.

We also rap about:

  • The exact best place and time to have a meeting that (1) ends fast (2) hits all the agenda points (3) scares the hell out of Time Vampires.
  • What day (and time) Time Vampires are especially abundant on Facebook.
  • Why anti-freedom to bear arms activists are sick in the head.
  • Why a Time Vampire’s bite is more destructive than a blood-sucking vampire’s bite. (And why they’re even more seductive and persuasive.)
  • Why you could have Time Vampires on your team and not even know it…
  • The anti-time management “Uber syndrome” that plagues online marketers. (My ex-copywriting apprentice recently witnessed a half dozen IMer’s waiting 20+ minutes to save a few bucks on Uber when there was a cab waiting right in front of them. Somewhere a Time Vampire smiled a fanged grin at that one…)
  • 3 ways to slay the Time Vampires.
  • And a ho’ bunch more…

Click that freaky little link below to listen now:

www.BenSettleShow.com/antipreneur

Ben Settle

One of the best durned books I ever done laid my eyes on is Dan Kennedy’s magnificent book:

“NO BS Time Management”

There are many reasons everyone should read that book.

Especially the part about “Time Vampires”.

These are people that suck up your time like a traditional vampire sucks up your blood.

Yes, they feed on your time.

Will tap a vein and take as much of it as they can.

And, can leave you a pale, withered husk of a person — dried up of all energy, patience, and desire to work.

Anyway, Dan identifies 3 by name in the book.

But, you know what?

Over the past 14 or so years in business I’ve identified several more that are particularly gruesome, dangerous, and blood-thirsty for your time.

They are:

  • The Debating Dracula
  • Bride Of Debating Dracula
  • The Phone Calling Count Chokula
  • The “I’ll Be Back” Barnabas Collins
  • The Always-Late Lestat
  • The Nagging Nosferatu
  • The Count Of Chronic Texting

Nasty cast of characters they be, too.

But I have a plan for dealing with them.

And, tomorrow’s “Ben Settle Show” podcast goes into minute details about each of the above time vampires skimming the shadows, how to identify (and elude) them, and, even more importantly, how to stake them so they never drink of your time again.

Watch for my email tomorrow, Van Helsing.

While you’re waiting, check out prior episodes here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/antipreneur

Ben Settle

BEN SETTLE

Publishes ridiculously high-priced books & newsletters about online marketing, writes twisted horror novels & screenplays, and trades options & invests in companies he thinks are cool – like BerserkerMail, Low Stress Trading, and The Oregon Eagle newspaper.

Yours FREE:

World Leader In

Email Copywriting Education

Gives Away His Best Tips

For How To Potentially

Double, Triple,

Even Quadruple

Your Sales Online

Type in your primary email address below to open Ben's daily email tips and a free digital copy of his $97.00/month Email Players newsletter, plus get access to 40+ HOURS of content in his free mobile app:

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WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING

Even when you’re simply just selling stuff, your emails are, in effect, brilliant content for marketers who want to see how to make sales copy incapable of being ignored by their core market. You are a master of this rare skill, Ben, and I tip my hat in respect.

Gary Bencivenga

(Universally acknowledged as the world’s greatest living copywriter)

www.MarketingBullets.com

I confess that I have only begun watching Ben closely and corresponding with him fairly recently, my mistake. At this point, it is, bluntly, very rare to discover somebody I find intelligent, informed, interesting and inspiring, and that is how I would describe Ben Settle.

Dan S. Kennedy

Author, ’No BS’ book series

Ben is one of the sharpest marketing minds on the planet, and he runs his membership “Email Players” better than just about any other I’ve seen. I highly recommend it.

Perry Marshall

Author of 8 books whose Google book laid the foundations for the $100 billion Pay Per Click industry, whose prestigious 80/20 work has been used by NASA’s Jet Propulsion Labs, and whose historic reinvention of the Pareto Principle is published in Harvard Business Review.

www.PerryMarshall.com

I think Ben is the light heavyweight champion of email copywriting. I ass-lo think we’d make Mayweather money in a unification title bout!

Matt Furey

www.MattFurey.com

Zen Master Of The Internet®

President of The Psycho-Cybernetics Foundation

Just want you to know I get great advice and at least one chuckle… or a slap on the forehead “duh”… every time I read your emails!

Carline Anglade-Cole

AWAI’s Copywriter of the Year Award winner and A-list copywriter who has written for Oprah and continually writes control packages for the world’s most prestigious (and competitive) alternative health direct marketing companies

www.CarlineCole.com

I’ve been reading your stuff for about a month. I love it. You are saying, in very arresting ways, things I’ve been trying to teach marketers and copywriters for 30 years. Keep up the good work!

Mark Ford

aka Michael Masterson

Cofounder of AWAI

www.AwaiOnline.com

The business is so big now. Prob 4x the revenue since when we first met… and had you in! Claim credit, as it did correlate!

Joseph Schriefer

(Copy Chief at Agora Financial)

www.AgoraFinancial.com

I wake up to READ YOUR WORDS. I learn from you and study exactly how you combine words + feelings together. Like no other. YOU go DEEP and HARD.”

Lori Haller

(“A-List” designer who has worked on control sales letters and other projects for Oprah Winfrey, Gary Bencivenga, Clayton Makepeace, Jim Rutz, and more.

www.ShadowOakStudio.com

I love your emails. Your e-mail style is stunningly effective.

Bob Bly

The man McGrawHill calls

America’s top copywriter

and bestselling author of over 75 books

www.Bly.com

Ben might be a freaking genius. Just one insight he shared at the last Oceans 4 mastermind I can guarantee you will end up netting me at least an extra $100k in the next year.

Daegan Smith

www.Maximum-Leverage.com

Ben Settle is a great contemporary source of copywriting wisdom. I’ve been a big admirer of Ben’s writing for a long time, and he’s the only copywriter I’ve ever hired and been satisfied with

Ken McCarthy

One of the “founding fathers”

of Internet marketing

www.KenMcCarthy.com

I start my day with reading from the Holy Bible and Ben Settle’s email, not necessarily in that order.

Richard Armstrong

A List direct mail copywriter

whose clients have included

Rodale, Boardroom, Reader’s Digest,

Men’s Health, Newsweek,

Prevention Health Magazine, the ASCPA

and, even, The Limbaugh Letter.

www.FreeSampleBook.com

Of all the people I follow there’s so much stuff that comes into my inbox from various copywriters and direct marketers and creatives, your stuff is about as good as it gets.

Brian Kurtz

Former Executive VP of Boardroom Inc. Named Marketer of the Year by Target Marketing magazine

www.BrianKurtz.me

The f’in’ hottest email copywriter on the web now.

David Garfinkel

The World’s Greatest Copywriting Coach

www.FastEffectiveCopy.com

Ben Settle is my email marketing mentor.

Tom Woods

Senior fellow of the Mises Institute, New York Times Bestselling Author, Prominent libertarian historian & author, and host of one of the longest running and most popular libertarian podcasts on the planet

www.TomWoods.com

I’ve read your stuff and you have some of the best hooks. You really know how to work the hook and the angles.

Brian Clark

www.CopyBlogger.com

Ben writes some of the most compelling subject lines I’ve ever seen, and implements a very unique style in his blog. Honestly, I can’t help but look when I get an email, or see a new post from him in my Google Reader.

Dr. Glenn Livingston

www.GlennLivingston.com

There are very, very few copywriters whose copy I not only read but save so I can study it… and Ben is on that short list. In fact, he’s so good… he kinda pisses me off. But don’t tell him I said that. 😉

Ray Edwards

Direct Response Copywriter

www.RayEdwards.com

You’re damn brilliant, dude…I really DO admire your work, my friend!

Brian Keith Voiles

A-list copywriter who has written winning ads for prestigious clients such as Jay Abraham, Ted Nicholas, Dr. Stephen R. Covey, Robert Allen, and Gary Halbert.

www.AdvertisingMagicCopywriting.com

We finally got to meet in person and you delivered a killer talk. Your emails are one of the very few I read and study. And your laid back style.. is just perfect!

Ryan Lee

Best-selling Author

“Entrepreneur” Magazine columnist

www.RyanLee.com

There’s been a recent flood of copy writing “gurus” lately and I only trust ONE! And that’s @BenSettle

Bryan Sharpe

AKA Hotep Jesus

www.BooksByBryan.com

www.HotepNation.com

I’m so busy but there’s some guys like Ben Settle w/incredible daily emails that I always read.

Russell Brunson

World class Internet marketer, author, and speaker

www.RussellBrunson.com

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