Ben Settle

The above is from a 1936 cartoon called “The Cobweb Hotel.”

I doubt if 1 in 10,000 people have heard of it.

But it’s kind of a helpful resource if you’re tempted to buy the latest goo-roo-of-the-week’s “killer” mega-expensive marketing course.

Here’s what I mean:

Back when I worked for “the man” duplicating videos, we had a client that sold these old, vintage cartoons rarely ever seen on TV anymore.

One of these cartoons was “The Cobweb Hotel.”

It was about newly-wed flies who go to stay at a makeshift “hotel” run by a hungry spider.

He was one sharp cookie, too.

This devious spider did everything from disguising his true “form” to putting a sign outside the hotel that said “For Flies Only” (nice target marketing) to giving exceptionally good customer service.

And his “customers” never knew what hit them.

As soon as these flies laid down in their comfy little beds (made of sticky spider webs), they were instantly stuck and at the blood-thirsty spider’s mercy.

It’s a lot like today’s Internet marketing shenanigans.

You know of what I speaketh, yeah?

The people constantly peddling “must have” how-to-make-big-bux-on-the-Internet products by putting on a great show (using all the sexy marketing tricks) and then — WHAM! — whacking peoples’ credit cards in exchange for a high priced box of junk filled with information just slightly different than their LAST product.

My point?

There are LOTS of “Cobweb Hotels” online.

Especially in the “how to make muney online” niches.

Before getting seduced by the latest marketing rock star’s song and dance, make sure you’re not dealing with just another two-bit spider herding flies into his web.

I mean, let’s face it:

Time is short and we’re in some spooky economic times.

And while I don’t have a crystal ball, I suspect the smart marketers will make out like bandits in the coming months, while everyone else suffers the same fate as the Cobweb Hotel flies:

Scared, vulnerable and screaming for help.

Ben Settle

P.S. For 101+ ways to avoid being a trapped little fly, check out:

I’ve been doing a TON of audio lately.

Mostly for my upcoming Crackerjack Selling CD Club as well as doing interviews and teachings for others.

And recently, something strange occurred to me.

I bet a lot of these people I talk to on the phone would be… disturbed (to say the least)… if they knew exactly what I do while yapping away with them.

Heck, they’d probably find it downright FREAKY.

Would you like to know what this “thing” I do is?

Are you sure?

Positive?

Okay then, you asked for it…

Often (99% of the time) when I’m doing some kind of tele-seminar, podcast or other phone interview, I’m holding one of my firearms. (Don’t worry, I usually remember to take the clip out… )

Question is, why do I do this?

Am I some kind of nut who fantasizes about shooting people on the phone?

No, no… nothing like that.

Believe it or not, there’s a very profitable reason for doing this.

Lemme explain:

A while back, some smart neuroscientists discovered a direct connection between your hands and the creative side of your brain.

I won’t even pretend to understand the specifics.

But maybe you have noticed this yourself while doing something with your hands (chores, writing, playing video games, brushing your teeth, shaving, etc) that ideas or solutions to nagging problems just sorta “pop” into your mind.

Happens to me ALL the time.

And that’s why, when I’m doing a tele-seminar or some kind of teaching on the phone, I keep my hands occupied with my trusty firearm.

Or maybe I’ll grab my 7 iron golf club and practice my swing.

Or putt golf balls into a plastic Coca-Cola cup in my office.

And so on, and so forth.

Does this really work?

You’re darn tootin’ it does.

In fact, my last several audio teachings (including two for a very high priced traffic generation course that have gotten rave reviews so far) were done gun in hand.

Anyway, just something to think about.

Especially if you ever get me on the phone 😉

Ben Settle

Yesterday’s “newbie” email really caused a ruckus.

And it also prompted a great question:

“Ben, I am new to my business, and am learning more every day. But I don’t want to come off as a newbie in guru clothing as you called it. Should I not demonstrate my knowledge then? And if so, what should I do?”

Mayhaps a bit of explanation is called for.

I’m not saying NOT to demonstrate your brilliance. That’s actually a pretty solid way to build credibility. What I’m saying is, before giving someone advice (especially if they didn’t ask for it), you need all the facts, first.

In other words, you have to ask questions.

LOTS of questions.

The people I mentioned yesterday did not do that.

They just charged in guns blazing with silly (and, in this case, ignorant) assumptions based on their own experiences or what they heard some goo-roo say.

Bad idea.

At least, if you want to make a real impact on someone.

Why?

Because it’s like “A List” freelancer Doug D’Anna said in his Copywriting Grab Bag interview:

“How can I offer a marketing critique for a product or a prospect I am 100% unfamiliar with?”

In other words, you have to be like a doctor:

You ask questions FIRST, then give your “diagnosis.”

That’s why (for example) when I do sales letter critiques, I don’t even look at the customer’s ad until they fill out a multi-page questionnaire about their market and their customers.

Otherwise, how can I possibly give them the right guidance?

Without asking questions first, my advice is worthless.

This is important stuff if you want to position yourself as a “for real” expert about whatever you sell.

It’s foolish to try and be a know-it-all.

Instead, be an “ask-it-all.”

It may not seem sexy, but it’s what separates the pros from the wannabes.

You can learn more about asking questions (and which questions to ask) in the upcoming “Crackerjack Selling Secrets” book:

Ben Settle

A few years ago, I heard some biz advice I’ll never forget.

It was from direct response copywriting master Bob Bly (quoting a man named Jim Alexander) in an interview about getting clients.

And it’s so good, I immediately memorized it.

What was the advice?

“I can deal with a client who is ignorant. I can deal with a client who is arrogant. But I cannot deal with one who is both.”

Translation…

If someone’s arrogant, but know what they’re doing, it’s fine to listen to them. You might even learn something. And if someone’s ignorant, that’s also OK. You can work with someone like that, too.

But if someone’s both, then watch your “gluteus maximus.”

Because you’re in trouble — with a capital “T”.

And guess what?

There are people like this EVERYWHERE online.

Example?

OK, few months ago, some dude on Twitter kept giving me (100% unsolicited — I did not ask for it) advice with the words “ignorant” and “arrogant” written all over it.

He “critiqued” everything from my tweets to my profile location.

Hey, I’m sure this chap meant well.

But he spent all his time yapping without bothering to ASK questions (to, uhm, see what my results were first — from which he may have learned something).

And so his advice came off as so much hot air.

Another example?

While back, another whipper-snapper marketer flat out insisted I only send 2 or 3 emails per MONTH instead of my usual 5 or 6 per WEEK.

Is that right?

So I should ditch my sales data because someone whose only education on the subject is a free report from 2003 says so? (This dude would have kittens if he saw the mega successful 3 emails per DAY series I just helped with.)

Look, I could go on and on.

This stuff is rampant online now (especially in social media).

Everyone’s an “expert” these days.

And while most of these people mean well (demonstrating their knowledge for credibility purposes) many are really just newbies in guru “clothing.”

Ignorant, arrogant and dangerous to your bottom line.

Ben Settle

P.S. One reason I’m creating the Crackerjack Selling CD Club is to counter all this tomfoolery. For more info, sally forth over to:

Last weekend I took a long day trip for kicks.

Nothing exciting happened (which was kinda the point).

But I did see one whopper of a dumb business mistake.

In fact, if you were to look up the definition of “big dumb stupid business mistake” you’d probably see a picture of the place I saw this blunder take place.

Here’s what happened:

I was in this small, “jerk-water” town in the middle of the woods (in northern California) and wanted a juice so I headed into this dinky little espresso joint. While the lady was getting the drink, I glanced down and saw the handwritten sign…

“Stop!” I said.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your sign says you don’t take plastic.”

“No problem, there’s an ATM across the street.”

OK now, here’s where the fun began:

I live in a small (really small) town myself and get this whole cash only thing. Heck, even the business center in my town is cash only.

So that blunder is not that big a crime in the grand scheme of things.

Dumb?

Yes.

A marketing crime?

Not so much.

No, the problem was, there was another place, CLOSER to that ATM, to get espresso. Which meant, this espresso joint was cheerfully sending good business across the street to an ATM machine that’s closer to their competition.

I wonder how much business their competition gets from this?

I bet they have a hearty laugh every time they see a customer walking from the other place, debit card in hand.

Oh well, that’s life in the little city.

But I admit, it did get me thinking about my own marketing.

In fact, afterwards I even did a quick run down of my own operations to make sure I wasn’t making a similar (embarrassingly obvious) mistake.

Not a bad habit to get into, is it?

And it’s so easy, even an espresso shop can do it.

Ben Settle

P.S. For 8 REALLY painful sales and marketing mistakes (including some doozies I’ve made) and how to avoid them, check out the free podcast I have up at:

Did you see that recent “7 overrated businesses” article?

It was all about these so-called “overrated” kinds of businesses that should be avoided by anyone looking to start a business in the gasping job market.

It was mostly just ivory tower drivel (IMHO).

But also kind of useful in way.

Here’s what I mean:

The article basically outlined 7 different business types (like restaurants, consulting, direct sales, etc) and described all the reasons why they tend to fail. In other words, it was more about protecting people from the bitter sting of failure… instead of succeeding.

Which was REALLY ironic.

Why?

Because weird as it sounds, failure is a requirement for success.

And like it or not, without failure you can’t truly succeed, so avoiding it pretty much makes you dead in the water right out the gate.

Hey, don’t blame me.

That’s just how it is.

In fact, you want to know something funny?

I’ve met (and worked with) some serious “power players” in business. Not just on the Internet, but offline biz owners, too. I’m talking about people who sometimes make more scratch in a DAY than the average working stiff makes in 6 months toiling away for the corporate beast masters.

And you know what all these people have in common?

They started out as miserable FAILURES.

And I mean BIG time failures.

The kind of failures people tend to laugh or snicker at in secret.

And yet, I’d bet green money every single one of them would tell you they learned FAR more from their failures… than their successes.

You MUST fail to succeed.

And usually, the FASTER you fail, the FASTER success happens.

Anyway, it was amusing how the article author — with all his fancy credentials, who writes business articles for prestigious papers and is invited on all the glamorous business TV shows — could miss this little zinger.

Failing is NOT something to hide from.

It’s something to embrace.

And (especially if you’re in a hurry) even SEEK out.

By the way, I’ll be sharing lots of “school of hard knocks” lessons learned from my own sales & marketing blunders in my coming Crackerjack Selling Secrets book.

Stay tuned.

Ben Settle

I made a big, fat blunder in last Friday’s email.

Do you remember it?

The email I sent about having lots of variety in your emails — so you never bore your readers, and (if you write emails correctly) even keep ’em on the edge of their seats, anxiously awaiting you to push that shiny, candy-like “send” button each day?

Let me explain:

To make my point, I used those variety cereal packs as an example.

The analogy being not to bore your list with the same “taste”.

Well, here’s where I goofed:

The reality is, just because someone buys that variety pack of cereals, doesn’t mean he or she won’t, for example, go “cuckoo” for Cocoa Puffs cereal 2 or 3 (or more) days in a row. And if that happens, the LAST thing you want to do is pour him a bowl of Trix or Fruity Pebbles or Count Chocula or whatever.

And that’s where my advice was a tad “askew.”

Because there are times when you may very well hit a “nerve” — a topic that gets ye old trusty cash register ringing.

In those cases, it might be kinda foolish to stop.

And variety would actually work AGAINST you.

Anyway, just another reason not to dogmatically cling to “rules.”

Especially when it comes to email marketing.

And speaking of which…

If you’re interested in more advanced email marketing tips and ideas, check out Appendix 8 (the Terry Dean interview) in The Copywriting Grab Bag. Terry’s secret on beefing up the responsiveness of your email list ALONE is, in my (blatantly and shamelessly biased) opinion, worth the entire cost of the book.

Next time… something to eat besides email marketing.

Ben Settle