Ben Settle

Recently I had a conversation with my ex-copywriting apprentice about the perfect kind of business to create if you suddenly find yourself without any income.

(Or are stuck in a job and want OUT, fast.)

A business that:

1. Has little (maybe none) competition

2. Has plenty of potential customers HAPPY to be pitched

3. Is an easily-reached market

4. Can be started for less than $30

5. Can pay you $100+ per day (easy)

6. Is scalable (meaning, once you get it going, you can start farming out the work to other people who need zero skills to do the work)

True story:

When I first moved to the Burgle last year, for the first time in years I found myself with having to clean up my dog’s poop. It used to be I would walk her to the beach or a nearby empty lot where she would let the hounds out (so to speak) all over the place and I’d never had to clean it up.

Now?

The poop piles up like lies in Washington DC.

I almost need *wings* to stay above it.

Thus, when my ex-copywriting apprentice told me her dad started a poop-cleaning business, I signed on without knowing (or even caring) the cost.

And you know what?

There are plenty of lazy dog owners like me.

(When I used to do office cleaning, it was the same, nobody wanted to clean their own offices, a lot of people have an even bigger hatred when it comes to cleaning dog poop.)

Okay, so how do you get started?

Very simple:

1. Go to the store and buy a pooper scooper and some doo-bags (bags you put dog poop in). That is your entire “investment” — less than $30.

2. Get a list of all the dog owners in your county.

3. Send them a post card offering to clean their dog poop — make sure you include a bold guarantee (“if you see even one smidgen of dog poop in your yard when I’m done I’ll double your money back”). If you are tight on cash, you can also post fliers on boards in churches, post office, go door-to-door, tell your friends, family, co-workers, etc what you’re up to, you can get business that way without spending a penny.

4. Start doing the jobs, get as many as you can on retainer.

Obviously, don’t quit your job until it makes sense.

But, it shouldn’t take long.

Frankly, even in a small town you can make out like gangbusters. If you charge, say, $20 per session (that’s what I pay, it’s worth every penny), and do *only* 5 jobs per day, that’s $100 per day.

But, that ain’t all.

After that, you can kick it up a notch:

5. When you got it down, farm out to local high school kids.

6. Scale at will to the entire county.

7. Put a site up and drive local traffic to it via AdWords, Facebook, direct mail, whatever method works best for you.

8. Collect emails from your customers and local dog owner traffic — start emailing that list dog-related information, affiliate offers, etc along with a pitch for your dog poop cleaning service, and any JV’s you do with dog-related local services (dog walkers, vets, trainers, etc).

9. Enjoy life profiting from doo-bags.

Yes its crap work at first.

(Literally.)

But most people are “above” doing it.

And because of that, your competition will be almost non-existent (assuming there aren’t already others doing it), and a ballsy guarantee (like the one above) will eliminate them, anyway. Plus, just by using a little bit of direct mail via post cards (dirt cheap) or knocking on doors and utilizing your network of local friends, and any organizations (church, etc) that allow you to post on their bulletin boards, you will clean up.

(No pun.)

Hey, nobody likes picking up dog poop.

It’s often worth paying someone else to do it.

And, it’s the kind of work where you can go in, do your thing, and nobody bothers you. You’re in and out, and can farm the work out to scale it.

And that’s it.

Want to make a full time income in just a few hours per week?

Then go ye down to ye olde pet store.

Get some doo-bags and a scooper.

And, follow the steps above.

Oh, and one more thing:

When you get to the email part, make sure you take a portion of all that green stuff you’re raking in and subscribe to “Email Players”:

www.EmailPlayers.com

You’re welcome.

Ben Settle

In this 1-year “Ben Settle Show” milestone episode we discuss:

• How to quickly position yourself as a leader (and not just another “expert”) in your market. (People listen to experts, but *follow* leaders, guess which one effortlessly attracts more sales…)

• How to remove any sales-killing desperation or neediness from your voice, writing, and marketing. (even if you really are desperate and needy for money.)

• A secret way (used by a few smart MLM and direct selling pros) of building a thriving income while still building your client base at the same time.

• What to do each day that’s almost guaranteed to give would-be clients zero doubt you are (1) great at what you do (2) reliable at what you do (3) the only one who does what you do worthy of hiring.

• How website designers can command sky high fees. (While all your competitors are treated as a commodity.)

• Dan Kennedy’s secret to attracting clients who are ready to hire you on the spot the first time they speak to you.

• How to use ezine articles you’ve already written to get overrun with new clients.

• The “leap frog method” for shortcutting your way to attracting high paying clients.

• The #1 mistake practically every service provider in history has made. (And how you can avoid making it.)

• The best kind of lead to spend your time selling to. (Focus on these leads only and nabbing new clients is as easy as catching fish in a small pond packed full of fish starving for the bait on your hook.)

• How to use direct mail lists to get tons of copywriting client leads handed to you on a silver platter.

• How to make yourself a celebrity in your market. (If you are seen as a celebrity in your niche, new business sometimes flows to you without even having to lift a finger.)

• How sociopaths spouting bullshit sell tons of products and services… and how to (ethically) use their methods to sell your legitimate services.

• A little-used way to turn FedEx into a source of quality client leads.

• And more…

To download it simply go here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/itunes

Ben Settle

Your command is my wish

So, got this question about getting clients a while back:

“If you were starting out FRESH and green TODAY – what would be your advice to me [to get clients]? ….. and if you have it in you ….. from the depths of your kindness ….. HOW would you do it?”

Yo command is my wish.

Checky:

Tomorrow’s “Ben Settle Show” podcast (our 1-year milestone episode, mind you) shows how ANY kind of service provider (not just copywriters, etc) can booked solid with so many clients… so quickly… you’ll have to have a waiting list.

A tall order, you say?

Hey, you be the judge.

Put on your black robe and wig and tune in to my show tomorrow (I’ll send you an email when it’s ready).

In the meantime?

Download past episodes here:

www.BenSettleShow.com/itunes

Ben Settle

So I picked the 3 Agora tapes winners.

They were the people who left the 3 best reviews for my new “Vampire Apocalypse” novel based on both the criteria I laid out (genuinely helpful, detailed, troll-free) and also some other criteria that I’ll explain in more detail below.

Fun fact:

I like to do review contests like this.

(For my stuff on Amazon, iTunes, etc)

So, if you like to win cool free stuff, the following will give you an idea of what I look for when picking winners next time I have a contest.

(And, I’m thinking of doing another one for my podcast.)

Anyway, on to the meaty stuff.

The first review winner is:

“FixesComputers”

Not only was his review genuinely helpful and detailed (without going into TOO much detail), but he fluidly and naturally sells the would-be reader on buying the book’s predecessor “Zombie Cop” as well. Which is not only genuinely helpful thing to do for the would-be reader, but is genuinely helpful to both books’ sales.

(If’n you catch my drift…)

The second review winner is:

Andy Moose.

His is not only genuinely helpful and detailed (and in a way that provokes just the right kind of curiosity) but he also urges them to get the sample and read the sample. Which, like the above review, is not only helpful to the would-be reader, but helpful to the book’s sales to boot.

And finally, the third winner is…

“Mike” from Cape Elizabeth.

His review did a good job of making the skeleton dance and using some good ol’ repulsion copy (urges the very people I don’t want reading it not to bother). Plus, I thought the Shrek analogy was perfect (not only because it’s Shrek, but because he got exactly what I was trying to do as far the novel’s various “layers” — as he puts it, “entertainment for the simple-minded, and inside-jokes for the adults).

If you want to read everyone’s reviews, go here:

www.EnochWars.com/vampire

Anyway, to the 3 winners:

Thank you from the bottom of my deranged little heart.

I hope you’re enjoying the Agora tapes.

Also, another thing to note:

I’m not a big fan of reviews that sound like they’re coming from a “critic” as much as just a regular reader. None of the 3 reviewers sounded like critics. They sounded like regular guys giving their opinions. And, that is another way I judge reviews beyond my original criteria (genuinely helpful, detailed, non-trollish).

Anyway, picking these 3 was NOT an easy task.

Several others were worthy of winning, too.

But, I said I’d limit it to 3.

And, well, why so serious?

Okay, moving on to something else:

I mentioned I will probably be doing a similar contest for my podcast (maybe even the same Agora tapes prize) to get more reviews for it.

And, you know what?

This email is a good guide for winning.

If you haven’t yet heard it, go to:

www.BenSettleShow.com/itunes

Ben Settle

Here’s the skinny:

Yesterday “Email Players” subscriber Neil Dhawan sent me an email about a would-be customer who disrespected his time (and, thus, him) during a call, and the email he wanted to send her telling her why he wouldn’t let her be a customer.

Below is the conversation thread between us.

(Including the email I suggested he send instead, which he did.)

Methinks he dodged a bullet.

Here’s the thread:

Can I please have your input on the following response I am sending someone – who I am denying being one of our customers. This is a tough route for me to take, and I would greatly appreciate your unfettered advice.

Thank You and Stay Amazing, Neil

*************************

Hello ___,

We have not received your email and, to be honest, we would simply delete it without reading your message for a very good reason:

We do not want business from rude and disrespectful people like you.

How so?

You called and spoke with me and I was quite happy to hear the benefits your cats received while using Geneflora for Pets. I patiently listened to your stories and inputted helpful information when you asked.

During our phone call – which was moving towards the 16 minute mark – you received an incoming call.

You simply said, “I have a phone call coming in.” and without hesitation, clicked over to take care of your personal call with complete disregard for my time and that behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

During our call, I let THREE phone calls go to voicemail, as I was respecting your time – addressing your questions and comments.

Perhaps in the future, when someone offers you’re their undivided attention, you show some class and do the same.

I’m not going to get into a long explanation, as you don’t deserve any more of my time. Knowing that you have access to a computer, you can order the product online. However, do not order from our website, as the order will be reversed.

OK, so that was Neil’s email he was going to send.

Here was my reply:

I would not send that, it comes off as butt hurt (I get where you are coming from, believe me, we’ve all had that happen) and will only give our gal ___ an ego boost.

Simply say:

We are not interested in your business.

Good luck.

And leave it at that.

Even if she writes back (and she very well may) begging to be your customer or demanding an explanation simply ignore her. you don’t want to reward bad behavior. And giving someone more of your time and attention by even writing them an email that is more than a few words is rewarding them with your time and effort.

It’s easier to find a new customer than try to fix a toxic one.

That’s my take on it.

Aaaaaaand, here’s what happened when he used my advice:

Okay, so I’m going to need thicker skin.

She replied with a tirade that began with: Thank you for your nasty, degrading email! There is no way I would ever consider doing any kind of business with your company again and I will make sure that others (pet supply stores, veterinarians, etc.) who might consider such, will definitely never do business with you.

More stuff in between …

And ended with: Maybe you had better go back to India!

Note to self: “We are not interested in your business” is nasty and degrading and not, in fact, as tactful as I first thought – though “Good Luck” was a nice little jab.

Thanks Ben 🙂

Let’s face it.

It takes one helluva rationalization hamster running on all cylinders to draw “nasty and degrading” out of the 9 word email he responded with.

And what’s with the “go back to India” crack?

Sheesh.

But, that’s how low class jackass people be. Why reward someone like that with allowing them the *privilege* of buying your product?

Let ’em haunt your competition…

Anyway, go here next:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Re: my beat down of so-called “good will emails” last week:

The one question mark I have is what if you sell something where it’s a completely discretionary luxury and the target prospects have absolutely no need for it at all?

In your great example, not only is there a well-defined need for the drugs to solve the UTI, but that need is also pressingly urgent given the unpleasant burning sensation every time you take a leak. In that instance anyone not selling the prospect something immediately needs attending to with a baseball bat. But what if you sell stuff you don’t need, like jewellery? Or hot tubs / pools? Or outdoor fireplaces? etc. etc. etc.

Makes no difference.

You can still ask for the sale, no?

Example:

Someone in the outdoor fireplace market is going to buy one regardless. In my way of thinking, it makes zero sense to not at least let them know you have one for sale. And if they are not ready to buy yet, you keep sending them emails about it every day — talking about different aspects of the product, the problems it solves, the history of fireplaces, the dangers of other kinds of fireplaces, yada yada yada… with a nice, shiny, “candy-like” link they can buy from when ready.

You get no points for your good will if they buy from someone else.

Especially if your product is superior.

(And they end up buying from a doo-bag.)

Same with the other examples you mentioned.

It’s all the same:

Ask and ye shall receive.

Don’t ask and ye shall not receive.

It’s like guys I teach in the dating market.

(ooh)

These poor schlubs (i.e. self-described nice guys) try to earn all kinds of “good will” buying girls lots of stuff, giving them (and their friends) rides to and from airports, doing their yard work, fixing stuff around their houses, helping them move, listening to them emote about their problems (like ex-boyfriends), etc to prove how “nice” and “reliable” and “sweet” they are… only to watch those same girls walk off with the man who has the balls to, you know, ask them on a date without having to do any of those things.

A lot of times these girls end up with doo-bags, too.

And, get annoyed the good guy didn’t ask them out first.

So it is with your customers.

Don’t let ’em buy from anyone else (especially if your market is full of doo-bags) because you’re trying to show how nice you are by not selling to them.

So simple.

So easy.

So… rare (online, at least).

To learn my way of doing email, go here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

I’m gonna cut The Agora tapes contest short.

As in by thursday at midnight.

Here’s the deal:

Last month Agora Financial ($200 million per year publisher) flew me in to Baltimore to teach their copywriters and editorial staff about:

• Infotainment
• Using stories to sell
• Email marketing

’twas some of the most valuable content I’ve ever delivered.

And, they taped it and gave me copies.

However, this content is not for sale anywhere.

You can ONLY get it free.

And, you can only get it free if you (1) submit an honest & genuinely helpful, detailed, no-troll Amazon review for my new “Vampire Apocalypse” novel (not “Zombie Cop”, just “Vampire Apocalypse”)… and (2) I deem your review worthy of being one of the 3 best submitted.

Again, I’m ending this contest Thursday night.

Got more than enough great reviews as it is.

(The 7 reviews submitted so far fit the criteria perfectly.)

Also:

When you submit your review let me know which is yours. After all, I gotta know who to send the Agora tapes to if’n you win.

Get it?

Got it?

Good…

Buy “Vampire Apocalypse” and/or leave a review here:

www.EnochWars.com

Ben Settle

P.S. It’s a fast-reading book.

So, you have plenty of time between now and Thursday night to both read (can finish it in probably 2-3 sittings) and review it if’n you’re gung-ho about getting advanced training that was taught to one of the most successful direct response companies on the planet.

Giddy-up.

In which the question is asked…

“you recommend emailing everyday. but how do you keep generating content ideas in order to make it happen?”

A good question.

Here’s the way I see it:

If you’re positioning yourself as an expert (or even an ex-spurt) or a leader in your market… and don’t have something (anything) to say each day… then mayhaps you’re not the expert/leader you say you are.

Hey, don’t take this personally.

Consider it a challenge.

A challenge to study your market harder.

Dig more into your product’s benefits and applications.

And gain a deep (not shallow — like most people selling online) understanding of your competition, your market’s psychology (you have done a psyche profile of your market, right…?) and all the things that make you the best person to buy from or hire.

More:

Plus, you KEEP stuffing your mind with other facts and info.

Things unrelated to your business.

As the great copywriter Gene Schwartz taught, you keep feeding your mind with anything that will stick.

Then what happens?

All that info mixes in your mind.

Ideas pop out of nowhere.

And you start writing about things nobody else has even thought of before, making you an original voice that demands to be heard.

Getting ideas is no longer the problem.

It’s REMEMBERING them all.

Yeah, it’s work.

Weeks and months (and years) of work.

And it’s ongoing — you NEVER stop the process.

But this is what separates the men from the boys, and what will make emails flow out of you as naturally as BS flows from a goo-roo’s lips.

As for the “how tos'” of email…

That’s where “Email Players” comes in.

No, it’s not cheap.

And it’s not for the lazy.

It’s also not for people who are easily offended.

In fact, case in point:

The February issue is probably going to be controversial to anyone who is politically correct or doesn’t like when I teach business and marketing lessons drawn from my experiences selling in (and participating in) the dating market.

(I didn’t pick Valentine’s Day month to teach it for nuttin.)

Subscription details at:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

In which the question is axed:

“My question is, how do you get good clients who aren’t going to waste my time and pay peanuts just starting off if you haven’t reached ‘pro’ status yet? “

An interesting question.

Here’s my not-so-exciting answer:

If I could do it over, I would not have started with client work. I would have either created or found a product to sell, built my own list, emailed it daily, and did that, first. Then, I would have went and found clients.

So my advice is:

Start selling your own stuff.

One, you may not even need clients if you do it right.

Two, when you do deal with clients you will automatically have a lot more posture, and outcome independence, which is like catnip to clients as far as who they like to hire in many cases.

More:

Check out the upcoming February “Email Players” issue.

It’s not about getting clients per se.

But, if you apply the information inside it, you will attract all the clients (and customers, if you sell products and not services) you can stand.

Frankly, you’ll probably have to start a waiting list.

Bold claim?

Maybe so.

But this next “experimental” issue contains perhaps the most valuable information I’ve ever taught to date.

But, only for “Email Players” subscribers.

And, only if you subscribe in time here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle