Ben Settle

Back in March, the World’s Greatest Copywriting Coach David Garfinkel interviewed me for his prestigious Copywriters Podcast.

And, I just put it on my Media page.

It’s at the link below, and is the first interview at the top.

I hope to horrify or delight you…

Here’s the link:

www.BenSettle.com/media

Ben Settle

To help round out this month and Halloween, below is a list of blood-thirsty marketing monsters roaming the internet looking for hapless victims to financially attack, plunder and, in some cases, ruin.

So sharpen your stake.

Grab your pitchfork.

Get the torches out.

And let’s hunt the evil…

FREEBIE-SEEKING FRANKENSTEIN

This monster roams the countryside looking to attach new parts to his body. And after you’ve given him a free arm, leg or other valuable part of yourself…

… he doesn’t stop!

He relentlessly lurches towards you, arms stretched out in front of him, chasing you around to give him even MORE free stuff.

Unfortunately, you can never defeat him.

The bastard’s practically immortal.

But you CAN ward him off.

First by ONLY giving him something small.

And second, by making it clear everything else must be paid for.

HELLHOUND LAWYERS

These vicious beasts foam blood at the mouth and lack souls.

They do truly nasty things, too — like seek out deals to kill… drag innocent people through frivolous litigation to take as much moola as they can… and sometimes even defend the other marketing monsters who have attacked **you**!

These killer canines are cunning and vicious.

Often the only way to beat ’em is with your OWN hellhound lawyer.

Pray one never catches your “scent.”

HYDRA OF HYPE

You often see this giant, dragon-like thing with multiple heads in highly competitive niches.

Like diet, biz opp, work-at-home, etc.

And each time the law cuts one of its heads off, a new, even MORE hypey head re-grows in its place — breathing even MORE fiery hype, screaming headlines and exaggerated claims they can’t back up.

The law cannot slay this beast because of its regrowing heads.

However, it’s easily avoided.

If you listen, you can hear it coming a mile away.

CREATURE FROM THE BROKE LAGOON

This thing is slippery like a fish and is hard to catch.

He likes to swim around forums, blogs and anywhere else he can parrot bad advice that’ll keep you broke. The difference between him and the other monsters, is this creature doesn’t KNOW he’s doing bad.

In fact, he thinks he’s doing GOOD.

He thinks his half-baked advice based on theories and hearsay work — even though they have never worked for HIM.

But, since he needs to survive, he tries to sell it to others.

Usually as an affiliate for something he’s never used.

Stay away from his swamps — like forums — and you’re safe.

COPYWRITING CRYPT KEEPER

This emaciated wretch is more a danger to himself than you.

He haunts the marketing graveyards constantly running ads that are lifeless, useless and don’t have a popsicle’s chance in hell of working.

Plus, his laugh is annoying and he’s kinda stinky.

But other than that, this shriveled up bag of skin is no threat.

Unless, of course, you copy & swipe HIS advertising…

CONTENT STEALING CYCLOPS

This insidious monster has just one eye.

And it’s always fixed on OTHER peoples’ content and stealing it.

He never speaks or talks. He just grunts and snarls and glowers over everyone’s content with his one, piercing eye. When he finds something he likes, he shamelessly takes it (with no regard to ethics, rules or copyright laws) and puts it on HIS websites.

To make matters worse:

It’s almost IMPOSSIBLE to find his lair.

He has no email, phone number or contact info.

And since he puts your content on sites like “blogspot” blogs, you have no recourse except jumping through hundreds of hoops that are not worth your time.

There’s not much you can do about this one.

But there are ways to use his evil deeds to your advantage if you use a little strategy.

THE SWIPE & STEAL SLIME

This shapeless mass of goo (roo?) oozes around the Internet absorbing everyone else’s ideas, ads, and sales letters. And then, when he wants to pitch something, shamelessly takes whatever he’s absorbed and uses it as his own.

There’s not much you can do about these monsters.

They’re impossible to catch since they have no real “substance”.

But it’s good to be aware of them.

Otherwise they could absorb YOU and make you a blob like them.

SERIAL REFUNDING SUCCUBUS

This elusive demon likes to hop from one business to the next — buying products, copying the content, and then refunding them while you’re sleeping.

More:

You can sometimes see it lurking on sites like clickbank and anywhere else they can have an easy refund policy. And you know it has struck when you make a sale and, within a few hours, it’s already been returned.

Unfortunately, it usually attacks while you’re sleeping.

But you CAN help stop its rampage.

Simply keep a file (like I do) of anyone who refunds with a lame excuse and don’t sell to them again.

You can also tell your colleagues to watch out for them, too.

BUREAUCRATIC BOOGEYMAN

Just like hell hound lawyers, these things lack a conscience.

They love to sneak into your personal life, your private records and even your bank accounts… and take and use whatever they want for their own twisted ends.

Unfortunately, LOTS of these monsters roam the countryside.

With more and more created each day.

And the more successful you are, the greater the chances they’ll target you. So make sure you’re prepared.

Their bite can literally murder your business.

GOO-ROO GHOUL (GHOUL-ROO?)

This monster often appears as a “guru.”

And he looks exactly like an expert.

Yet, he’s the complete opposite!

You see, what he does is, he lures unwary newbies in his market (usually “rabid” markets) to his cave and devours their every last penny — while delivering little or no real value.

And to make matters worse…

He is a master at using “social proof.”

In fact, he’s so unbelievably good at using it, his victims actually think he’s doing them a favor — almost like it’s a privilege — as he consumes their last dime.

OK Scooby Doo, that’s all for now.

These are the most ruthless monsters roaming the Internet.

If you want to protect yourself from their wrath this Halloween, put away the candy, get thy bootyus to the castle armory, and strap on the weapons you can find in the November (and grand 100th) “Email Players” issue that goes to the printer today:

www.EmailPlayers.com

It’s the best way to defeat these fiends.

And, make extra scratch, too…

Ben Settle

I don’t know if it’s some kind of Halloween thing or what, but I have noticed this month has shown many more Email Players subscribers being plagued with stolen, hacked, and compromised credit card issues than ever before.

You’ll always see a handful each month when selling subscription offers.

But this month there’s been at least twice as many.

Including some up to this very day.

And each time, it can be very frustrating for the customer. I can read the frustration in their “please don’t cancel my subscription, a new card is on the way!” pleas for their lord & master elBenbo to stay his itchy trigger finger that is always so quick & eager to cancel & curate out those he deems unworthy, and eject them into the emptiness of the Outer Void, never to be allowed to return.

But, here’s the thing.

And a lot of people are probably going to shriek at me like a banshee at this.

“Ben that’s so unfaaaaaiiiirr!”

And maybe they will be right.

But, I have decided to double down on the brilliant Dan Kennedy policy of:

“Your crisis does not become my crisis.”

Fact is, it’s a pain in the ass to keep up with peoples’ overdue credit cards problems after I’ve sent the Email Players list in — which I will be doing later today for the November issue.

I won’t go into all the reasons why.

Because they aren’t important.

What is important is, my policy for bad credit cards at the end of the month:

I will no longer be making “exceptions” and waiting for people to get their new card in the mail after being hacked. All accounts not current at the time I send the list to the printer will be deleted, with the customer blocked in the shopping cart for wasting my time having to go through and do so. That means, if you want to get the next issue, you will have to temporarily use a different card for now, then switch to whatever card you are waiting for later when it arrives.

It’s very simple, as I can send you a secure link to change it at any time.

But anyone not current by the time I send the list in will be canceled.

And before some sob sister or mush cookie holds a candlelight vigil about this:

If you are an adult, with a real business, the only kind of subscribers I want and care to have… and if you (1) don’t have a second credit card or (2) a personal credit card you can use temporarily while you await your new card, then you have no place amongst us in the Email Players of the Horde.

Don’t give me those silly excuses, Maynard.

Your long suffering taskmaster elBenbo knows.

Oh, yes, he knows indeed that if your precious cell phone account, internet account, cable TV account, Netflix account, Amazon Prime account, Spotify account, iTunes account, or any other entertainment-related account was being paid for with a defrauded card, you’d somehow find and use a different card to keep services going unencumbered.

True story:

Last year when I had an office in the Old Town section of the town I lived in, I had my high speed internet on my American Express business card. And, something went kablooey with their system, where it couldn’t work with American Express for some reason.

I kept foolishly ignoring their warnings.

And, it got to the point where they were about to shut it off the next day.

So what did I do?

I simply used my personal credit card until they got their shyt together.

This ain’t rocket science.

It’s simply a matter of priorities.

And, thus, henceforth, for anyone whose credit card has been compromised, hacked, stolen… if you want the next month’s issue — in this case, the November issue — you need only let me know you want to use a different card, I’ll send you a secure link to change it, and when your shiny new card arrives, simply let me know again and I’ll send you another secure link.

But I won’t be “holding off.”

And I won’t be making any exceptions.

Whatever the case, the deadline for the November 100th “Email Players” issue is almost here.

If you want in on time to get it, use the link below.

If you need to swap out your credit card, best let me know.

And if you couldn’t care less, either way, you’re a trooper for reading this far…

Whatever the case, here is the link to subscribe:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

“Email Players” subscriber Petr The Affiliate pops in to say:

Yo Ben,

you probably do not care and I might just be bothering you with this, but do you know you’re actually a great “ghost” coach?

Here’s what I mean:

As an Email Player I know I can basically ask you anything and as much as I want (within reason). But having followed your emails, podcasts and all for 6+ years and having bought and gone through many of your products (for example I’ve watched the entire original Copy Slacker series 7 times), I can quite confidently guess what your answer will be.

So my mental process goes like:

1. I get stuck on some business problem.

2. If it’s something you could help with I think up a question for you.

3. I let it sit a while and 99% of the time later realize you had either talked about somewhere in the past or knowing your philosophy I deduce your answer (i.e. you had trained me how to think about it).

4. I realize I do not need to bother you with my question. (I remember your EP rule “there are no stupid answers, only stupid questions” + I remember the rule from my martial arts days that the pupil should never bother the teacher with trivial questions, forcing him to learn to think and learn for himself.)

So the actual option of being able to ask you makes me think harder about what I want to ask, which at the same time usually helps me to come up with the proper answer.

I don’t know why I’m writing this. Maybe it’s just my urge to let the teacher know the pupil is doing well under your guidance and discipline.

And the Teacher appreciates it, my loyal Disciple.

In other news:

I’m chomping at that old bit to send the 100th issue of “Email Players” to the printer tomorrow, which is the deadline to get it.

To subscribe in time hit that devious link below:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Well, not exactly.

But, once upon a time, I had a rabidly-engaged Facebook group called “elBenbo’s Lair.” And in that group, I often shared personal, confidential, and “off the wall” advice, opinions, and glimpses into other things I am up to I don’t reveal publicly — business or otherwise.

I don’t miss babysitting that group at all.

But, I did enjoy the “No-Value” talks & rants, deep thinking, and sharing stuff I have going on my fans may (or may not…) enjoy that’s happening in my “world.” I also included lots of profitable lessons that fell outside the scope of what I teach in my books & newsletter too.

All of which leads me to the trick:

The 100th issue of my “Email Players” issue contains a bonus insert called…

“elBenbo’s Lair”

It’s like a non-social version of some posts I would have put in that group.

And it is also the first of what will very likely be an ongoing series of periodic (though, yes, purely non-social) inserts in future issues sharing more of the kind of info I did in that group. If you like my Settle-ist ways then this issue is your daddy.

The November issue’s elBenbo’s Lair insert specifically talks about:

• The 13 biographies I most recommend and the big takeaway from each
• What my investment portfolio looks like
• Details on a new software business venture I’m engaged in
• A secret kind of investment I believe anyone can benefit from investing in
• Why I am investing in a movie
• Exactly how I sold my house in 4 days
• And a few other irreverent things that probably won’t add all that much to your life, but are the kind of info I used to share publicly

The deadline to get the 100th issue is tomorrow.

That’s when I send er off to the printer.

Here’s where to subscribe:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

There are some businesses I do everything in my power to avoid.

Like, for example, Walmart.

The place just reeks of cheapness, despair, and desperation. You can see it in the countenances of some of those who shop there, in the attitudes of many of the people who work there, and in the shoddiness of a lot of the products sold there. I remember one of my old clients Mike Dillard writing about this many years ago on his blog, and he got hundreds of people whining at him, yelling at him, and hating him for it.

But I smiled & nodded along with every word he said…

Yet, from a distance, I’ve also learned a lot from Walmart about business.

Especially when it comes to choosing which products to place as 1-click upsells.

Another example of a business I despise is Starbucks.

The pretentious snobbery that infests the ambiance of Starbucks, and the “dumb money” mentality it goes out of its way to pander to with people taking selfies with their made-for-Instagram drinks… makes me very glad I live some 30 miles away from the nearest one.

But, like Walmart, I’ve learned much about business from it from afar.

Including something that radically exploded my sales, short term & long term.

In fact, here’s a gem about this I learned from the great Dan Kennedy:

In one of his talks, he showed how, on the surface, one would think Starbucks is in the business of selling coffee. But if they were merely in the “coffee business”, they probably would not have been able to build a gigantic $80 billion company and 30,000 stores — all while selling sky high priced coffees, with paper cups so thin you need a wrap-around piece of paper to prevent burning your fingers, with a menu so complicated you need a PhD to decipher it, in locations sometimes right across the street from each other, sold by kids so slow the lines wrap around the block & often so dumb they can barely work a cash register.

No, my fine feathered little friend, they ain’t in the “coffee” business.

And I would bet you are not in the business you could & maybe should be in, either.

Whether you sell info products, freelancing, coaching, eCommerce, professional services, brick & mortar, or anything else.

This figuring out what business you are really in is something that requires a lot of deep thinking — sometimes years of thinking — to get right. But, once you do, and once you implement it… everything changes.

Another “0” can be quickly added to your profits.

Customer bases sometimes triple in the span of months.

And, the level of influence your brand has can multiply 5, 10, 15 fold.

The bad news is, there’s no 10-point checklist for this.

You can’t get away with swiping & copying, either.

And, it can be legitimately hard work to figure out.

The good news is, I give a bright, easy-to-see beacon (just a beacon, nothing more) for how to think about this sort of thing, using my own business as an example in the upcoming 100th issue of “Email Players.” Yes, my Pet… your pal and humble daily email pusher is not in the “email marketing” business.

Or in the “newsletter” business.

Or in the book publishing business.

Or in any kind of obvious business.

I used to be all those things.

But a couple years ago, that massively changed — both in application of how I run things around here, and in the amount of revenue, brand recognition, and overall influence my little one-man-band operation has created.

There’s a reason I waited until the 100th issue to talk about this.

And while it won’t give you any answers, it can serve as a guide for your thinking on the subject.

But, a word of warning:

If you’re the small thinking type, this issue will disappoint you.

Small thinkers are always disappointed in my products.

And this will go triple for this 100th issue of the newsletter.

All of which is why I aggressively try to turn small thinkers away. And that is also why, if you are the type, who is saying to yourself right now, “Okay I will be in the same kind of business Ben says he is in and just copy what he is doing lol!!!!!!” you’ll be a massive & complete failure at implementing this. Mark my words, Chuckles… copying the surface elements of what I or anyone else is doing in this regard is a recipe for disaster and failure and, frankly, misery, humiliation, and losing a lot of time & money.

For this, above all else that I teach in that issue, thinking is required.

Deep, substantive thinking.

The kind of thinking swipers, social media addicts, marketing hobbyists, goo-roo fanboys, new product junkies, and probably most people who identify as an “S” in the Myers-Briggs (they have a hard time thinking forward outside of the moment – an advantageous attribute for many things, believe it or not, but not this) are virtually mentally incapable of doing.

Whatever the case, this is one of many lessons inside the next issue.

The deadline to subscribe in time is tomorrow.

After that, it’ll be too late.

Here’s the delicious pumpkin spice latte link for your clicking displeasure:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

French “Email Players” subscriber Karen Vago checks in:

Hi Ben,

Here’s a short email exchange I just had with my business coach. She knows about you. I’m not sure if she’s an email player. I’m pretty sure I found out about you through her.

My coach: Excellent emails!!!!! Great subject lines. WOW.

It’s incredible!!! Has Ben Settle been helping a lot?

Me : Yes, I believe what I read from him and his monthly Email Players newsletters is seeping in and being transformed into my way of writing.

My coach: Sooo good!!!

And I want to add that writing just flows these days as do the subject lines. I read your books (not the very expensive ones yet !) newsletter (since May) and emails and revise them regularly.

At one point you annoyed me with your villains and stuff and I unsubscribed from your emails. Then heard about you again and now I get how you can help me be me… as a woman.

Much gratitude from France.

Helping women be better at being themselves is certainly one very important benefit being an “Email Players” subscriber can grant those with two X chromosomes.

There ain’t a whole lot chicks in my Email Players of the Horde.

But many of those I do hear from are kicking bootyus…

To subscribe before the 100th issue goes to the printer, click here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

One way I’ve been managing to get through so many books & biographies this year is, I always have 3 I’m reading at the same time:

One book is in my office’s bathroom for daily, er, deposits of knowledge.

Another book is on my nightstand.

And, I always have an audio book I’m listening to for when I’m on a 10-mile walk, taking a shower, or simply embarking on a long drive.

The audio book I’m wading through currently is about:

President Andrew Jackson.

i.e. Old Hickory

Despite him doing & advocating controversial things that sound horrifying to people today, there is a long list of lessons to learn about success and business by studying the life of this extremely flawed, but high-achieving man, who was so popular with his fans, the 2 thousand or so people who stormed the White House just to be around him after his inauguration packed the rooms so tightly, they couldn’t even leave except by going out windows. In fact, mobs of people lined up wherever he went, forcing him to sneak out back doors and other such maneuvers, such was his popularity.

One of these lessons of which is how raw Will Power moves mountains.

I wonder if he might have been one of the strongest Willed men who ever lived.

Take for example, the constant pain he was in.

This guy spent a lifetime of engaging in all kinds of conflicts & fights — from his teenage years fighting redcoat soldiers (who butchered people in the most gruesome of ways) one-on-one during the Revolutionary War, to engaging in duels to the death with probably dozens of people, to leading militias, then the US Army, and then the nation itself as President.

All of which took hair-raising tolls on his health, to say the least.

Take the duels to the death he was in.

He got shot and injured at times.

And, thus, had severe lead poisoning much of his life as a result. In fact, some samples of his hair were analyzed 100 years or so after his death, and his body had 20 times more lead in it than what is considered safe.

And that lead poisoning kept him in perpetual agony.

So much so, his soldiers said he was often just 3 steps away from collapsing.

His abdomen was constantly on fire, violently vomiting out of the blue, and shaking and sweating, ready to pass out in the saddle on the way to battles. His temper flared out of control at the slightest thing causing him to blow up at people for little or no reason. And he was often nauseous, bedridden for sometimes weeks, and had written numerous letters about how this was it, he was done, going to retire, etc… only to be back leading another battle to victory over one enemy or another.

He was just someone who refused to back down from a fight.

Or, really, any kind of conflict.

In fact, he thrived on it.

Every time he was bedridden with yet another health problem, thinking he was going to retire (and this was before he was even President), he’d hear of another battle coming up, and suddenly his health and pain levels returned to a manageable level and he’d be off to the races.

It’s why they called him Old Hickory in the first place.

He was not a large, imposing man by any means.

He was tall & thin, and non imposing.

Yet he controlled the minds and Will of other men and armies — including great men of war and politics — who observed his toughness made him like a hickory branch:

Thin and bendable, but hard to break.

i.e. the exact opposite of most people in business or anywhere else today.

Whatever the case, there are many more lessons and insights in this book — including one I talk about in the bonus insert that is going out with the 100th issue of “Email Players”, in the list of the 13 most important biographies I’ve read so far. The volume I talk about in that insert even has to do with how to create a horde of fans who will lift you and your brand almost as high as you want, like Andrew Jackson used to be lifted right into being President — despite being born a common man (he’d be mocked as a redneck hick by the city slickers in New York, especially, today) with no family connections to the political elite.

There are over two dozens books about Andrew Jackson on Amazon.

But if you want the title of the one I am referring to, as well as the other biographies (all just as fascinating in their own ways, in my opinion) I recommend, here’s what to do:

1. Go to the URL below

2. Subscribe to “Email Players” before the deadline Thursday

3. When your newsletter arrives, find the bonus insert and read the biography part, and check it out

To get it while there’s still a wee bit ‘o time, go here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Long-time Danish “Email Players” subscriber Morten Spindler replies to the last time I posted one of his testimonials, which includes a sort of intended and secret benefit to being a subscriber:

A new email player subscriber from Denmark just wrote and asked if I was the one you keep writing about, and I told him to overwhelm getting everything you sell.

Newsflash.

I just quit the job I got recently, walked out the door with no security, because in the 2 months I was there, our own sales suffered way more than I earned (and especially that of my wife), so now I’m gonna go all in.

The inspiration came again, out of an ugly printed newsletter from the Wild Wild West.

This isn’t the first time someone whose testimonial I posted publicly says someone looked them up. In some cases, it’s clients looking for Email Players copywriters. In other cases, it’s people just wanting to connect with Mypipo in the Email Players of the Horde about whatever it is they do.

There are no guarantees of this, of course.

But it does happen at times.

All right, on to the business at hand:

The majestic 100th issue of my “Email Players” newsletter soon goes to the printer standing by to receive, fulfill, and mail it.

It’s in many ways the most valuable issue I’ve ever penned.

I predict shallow thinkers who only care about building swipe files will hate it, while deep thinkers who care about building actual businesses will get all kinds of value from it. Thus, if you are a copywriting fanboy just looking for “swipes!” or whatever, move aside. We don’t want you and believe me when I say you won’t want us. But if you are looking to expand your thinking, expand your sales, and, yes, expand your empire… time’s almost up to get in on this action.

The deadline to get it is in a few days hence.

To get it, grab it by the scruff of the link here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle